Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
NICO
I woke with a start and froze. It was too quiet. Why were the lights out? And why did my bed feel wrong? My heart started to race, and my breathing got shallow. What was happening?
As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I was able to make out shapes in the cell. Was that a…bookcase? And then I saw the digital clock. Reality slammed into me, and I groaned in frustration. I wasn’t in my cell. I was in Zach and Miguel’s apartment on a sofa bed in their living room.
I ran a shaking hand over my face. Jesus Christ, I had to get it together. It was four in the morning, according to the small digital clock Zach had put on the shelf for me. I did some breathing exercises that another inmate had taught me to calm myself and pull in my racing thoughts. There was so much I still had to do to get on track. I couldn’t afford to let my anxiety take over.
I still needed a cell phone, which meant I had to call my brother Damian. I should have called him yesterday, but I was barely holding on. We didn’t go to the cemetery after lunch and ice cream, which I was secretly grateful for. I wouldn’t have been able to hold it together in front of Cody. I had not anticipated being such a mess when I got out of prison.
Zach and Miguel were great. They didn’t try to make me talk, and they gave me space when I needed it. But I was living in their home. I didn’t have any real space of my own. I thought I would be fine with it. It turned out I still felt on edge. Like I still had to watch my back. I had to calm down and get my shit together for the sake of my son.
I must have drifted back to sleep because the next thing I knew, a heavy weight dropped on me. On instinct, I wrapped my arms around my attacker and flipped them so I was on top.
There was a gasp and a whimper. “Daddy?”
Horror filled me as I opened my eyes to find Cody staring up at me with fear-filled eyes. I pulled back, my heart pounding and my breath coming in short gasps. I ran my hands over his little body, checking for bruises or other injuries. “Oh god. Cody. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
His bottom lip quivered, and tears filled his eyes. “You scared me, Daddy.”
“I’m so sorry, buddy. I didn’t mean to scare you.” My hands were shaking so badly I had to tuck them under my arms so I wouldn’t frighten Cody even more.
Zach’s voice came from beyond the curtain covering the doorway to the living room. “Nico? Cody? Is everything okay?”
“Daddy scared me,” Cody sobbed.
“I’m coming in. Okay, Nico?”
“Yeah,” I replied hoarsely.
Zach pulled aside the curtain and stood with his arms crossed at the foot of the sofa bed. Cody scrambled off the bed and ran to Zach. “I wanted Daddy to wake up,” he said tearfully. “He flipped me over and scared me.”
Understanding dawned in Zach’s eyes. He sighed softly and picked up my son. “Cody, we talked about this. You can’t go into someone’s room when they’re asleep without knocking first. Your daddy isn’t used to having little boys jumping around on his bed.”
Cody sniffled. “Sorry, Daddy.”
My eyes burned. I shook my head. “No, baby boy. You didn’t do anything wrong.” My throat got so tight I could barely speak. The tears I’d been trying to hold back spilled down my cheeks. “I’m so sorry I scared you.” I covered my face with my hands, the hopelessness of my situation overwhelming me.
I heard movement and figured Zach was taking Cody away so he didn’t see me fall apart. Instead, little hands touched my arm, and I heard my son say, “Don’t cry, Daddy. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes.”
I raised my head to look into Cody’s bright-blue eyes. “You’re the best, little man. I love you so much.” I blinked and wiped my eyes. “Can I have a hug?”
Cody threw his arms around my neck. “I love you too, Daddy.” I pulled him onto my lap and cuddled him close. I had to do better for him.
Miguel poked his head around the curtain. “Everything okay here?”
“Yeah,” Zach replied. “We’re just working out some rules.”
Miguel sighed softly and pressed his lips together. “Hey, Cody, do you want to help me make pancakes?”
Cody scrambled off my lap. “Yay, pancakes!”
Zach sat next to me after Cody left. “I’m sorry about that. Cody’s so excited to have you here that he forgets the rules. He’s not allowed in our bedroom without knocking either.”
I shook my head. “I get it. But I can’t act like that around him. He’s just a baby. He’s gonna make mistakes.”
He shifted next to me like he was nervous. “I know you probably went through some bad shit while you were in prison. Maybe seeing a therapist would help.”
I shuddered, remembering the “therapist” I’d seen in prison. Seeing him had made things worse, not better. I shook my head. “Not right now. I only have shitty state insurance, which won’t pay for a decent therapist. I want to get a job and get my own place. Then I’ll think about it.”
“Do you think it will be hard to get a job because of your record?”
I clenched my jaw. “My record is supposed to be expunged, but they’re making me see a parole officer until it’s official. So yeah, getting a job is gonna suck.” I shook out my hands after I noticed I was clenching my fists. “Before I got arrested, I was an apprentice in the electrician’s union. I’m hoping they’ll take me back. I worked with a few guys who had felonies on their records. So that’s my big plan.”
“It’s not a bad plan,” Zach said. “Electrician is a good job. I didn’t know you’d been in the union.”
“I’d only just started when shit went down. I’d be done with my apprenticeship now if I hadn’t been a dumbass.”
He frowned. “Nico, maybe it’s not my place to say, but beating yourself up all the time won’t help you get past this. Trust me, I know.”
I sighed. I knew he was right, but it was hard to let go of the guilt and regret I felt about going to prison. “Is Cody going to be okay?”
Zach nodded. “He’s generally a happy kid. You said sorry and didn’t yell at him. He’ll be fine.”
I hesitated before asking my next question. I cleared my throat and said quietly, “So, I want to visit Allie’s grave today, but I’d rather not bring Cody this time. I don’t think I can handle seeing it for the first time and worrying about Cody being upset.”
Zach frowned thoughtfully. “Yeah, I could see how that would be hard. We should be able to go after Cody goes to preschool.”
“Oh, I didn’t know he was going to school today,” I said.
He nodded. “I’m sure he’d be happy staying home with you, but he needs consistency, especially since he’s still working with a speech therapist.”
“He is?” I asked in surprise. “I thought he was done with that.”
“He regressed some after Allie died, so the school thought it would be a good idea to get his old therapist to work with him again.” He stood and put a hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you get yourself a shower and get dressed? Breakfast will be ready by the time you’re finished.”
“Okay.” Again, I hesitated. “I don’t have any toiletries except a shitty toothbrush.”
“You can use the shampoo in the white bottle. The other stuff is Miguel’s, and he’ll cut anyone who uses it.”
“I heard that,” Miguel called from the kitchen.
Zach chuckled. “There’s a new toothbrush in the drawer under the sink. I meant to give it to you last night, but you passed out hard, and I didn’t want to bother you.”
“I appreciate it,” I said. “Can I borrow your phone after breakfast to call my brother Damian?”
Zach’s brows rose in surprise. “I didn’t know you had a brother. Allie never mentioned him.”
I shrugged. “He lives in the City. He moved out when he was eighteen and never looked back. He’s super smart and went to school at NYU on a scholarship. Then he stayed and got his master’s in structural engineering. Now, he works for a company that sends him all over the world to work on building bridges and skyscrapers and all sorts of other buildings. He’s been keeping my stuff safe and took over my bank accounts so my parents couldn’t get their hands on them. Once I get hold of him, I can get a cell phone and then a job. I hope. I’m going to contact the union to see if they’ll take me back.”
Zach looked impressed. “All right then. After breakfast, we’ll get you started on all that.”
Cody wasn’t happy about having to go to school. He wanted to stay home with me. “Uncle Zach is staying home,” he whined. “I want to stay home too.”
I ruffled his curly dark hair. “Remember we talked about using your big-boy voice, right?”
“Yes, Daddy,” he pouted.
“Uncle Zach is off from work so he can help me get around. Miguel is going to work. You need to go to school so you can keep learning. Besides, I want to meet your teachers.”
His expression brightened. “Miss Erin is really nice. She smiles a lot, and she’s good at playing hide-and-seek.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting her.” I held out my hand. “Come on, let’s go to the car before you’re late.”
After we dropped Cody off at school and I met all his teachers and friends, Zach took me to the cemetery where Allie was buried. We stopped along the way to get some flowers. He stayed in his car so I could have some time alone. I laid the flowers on her grave and knelt in front of the headstone, my fingers tracing the words:
Allison Marie Kelley
December 8, 1997-April 29, 2023
Loving Mother, Beloved Sister.
My vision blurred. “Hey, Allie. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you and Cody. I wish things could have been different. I’m going to do my best to be a good dad for our son.” I closed my eyes and let my tears fall. “I hope, wherever you are, you can forgive me for not protecting you when you needed it most.”
When I finally rose to leave, I made a silent promise to somehow find the man responsible for her death and make him pay for what he’d done. Zach was leaning against the hood of his car, his face lifted to the mid-morning sun. I joined him, leaning on the other side of the hood next to him. “Have the police gotten any leads on this Scott guy?”
Zach shook his head. “Nothing. We’re pretty sure he left the country.”
“Who’s we?” I asked.
Zach straightened up so he could look at me. “Oh, right. You don’t know.”
“Know what?”
He paused for a moment like he was pulling his thoughts together. “So three of the D’Angelo brothers run a security company. Tony’s in charge, Marco leads the teams, and Michael is the computer wizard.”
“Okay,” I said, drawing out the word.
Zach turned toward me. “Michael has been setting up searches in the US and all over the world. Marco hasn’t told me exactly how they know, but they’re ninety-five percent sure Scott is out of the country. His parents have enough money to bankroll him no matter where he’s living.”
“They know he’s out of the country, but not what country he’s in? I don’t get it.” I was trying to be calm, but I was sure my frustration showed in my voice.
He sighed. “I don’t know all the ins and outs of computer hacking, but apparently, it’s insanely difficult and potentially dangerous to try to hack government databases. Michael managed to find out that Scott used his passport at Newark Airport to catch a flight to Aruba. From there, it’s a little fuzzy. He can sometimes catch Scott on CCTV cameras. He’s got facial recognition programs running to spot him on cameras all over the world. But it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack.”
“Well, that just sucks,” I growled.
“Yeah, it does.”
And then it occurred to my selfish ass that Zach was just as angry as I was and wanted that motherfucker caught at least as much as I did, if not more. Although, I actually wanted him dead. I wasn’t sure if Zach was quite that bloodthirsty.
“You know what’s worse?” Zach asked out of nowhere.
“What?”
“There’s a video of that fucker hitting my sister with his car.” He clenched his jaw, and his eyes got bright with unshed tears. “She was running away from him.” He swallowed hard and squeezed his eyes shut. “And he sped up.”
Okay, I didn’t give a shit if I went back to prison for the rest of my life. I wanted that son of a bitch dead. “You need to introduce me to these other D’Angelo brothers.”