Chapter 20
Serena
Trembling underneath him with his body pressed against mine, his cock still inside me, his breath hot in my ear.
“I’m so proud of you, Serena. You took my cock inside you like a perfect angel, and you’re such a good girl for taking my load in your pussy like you did.”
My whimper of shock and longing rips through my dry throat as I gulp back as much air as I can. My lungs are closing, and I’m going lightheaded when he lifts off me, sliding his cock out and gently replacing my panties which he shoved to the side in his need to get to me.
Swallowing and choking on my saliva, my throat tickling, I straighten up, and with the tears that pooled in my eyes when he took me seeping out, I shove past him.
“I’m sorry,” I ramble. “I’m sorry. I need to go.”
Scrambling to get the door open, I yank it back, wrenching my arm as I lunge through it, hobbling in my heels to get to the ladies' room while shoving my skirt back down. Grateful that no one else was here to witness my degradation at being fucked like a bitch over Logan’s desk while I did nothing, I stumble into the ladies’ room, covering my eyes from the garish light.
Logan bursts in behind me, his face frantic and his hair sticking up from running his hand through it.
“Serena.”
“Don’t!” I say, putting my hand up. I am mortified. “I’m sorry I let you down. I’m sorry I was so useless. I’m sorry that I didn’t do anything. You’re my boss. We fucked in your office where anyone could’ve walked in! I didn’t expect to start my day like this. My past. Fuck. Nothing.”
“What?” he practically shouts at me. “What are you talking about? You didn’t let me down. Fuck, Serena…”
We stare at each other for a few seconds, but it’s too much for me. “Please, go.”
“Serena.”
“Don’t,” I whisper, closing my eyes. “Please, don’t.”
“Shit. Fuck. Serena.”
“You’ve got court. Just go.”
“No.”
“Dammit, Logan!” I turn from him, twisting my braid around my hand, shaking like a leaf.
“Who hurt you, angel?” he asks, his voice deathly quiet. “Who destroyed your light?”
“I can’t do this right now. I’m sorry I was such a shit fuck, but just go. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Please forget it and me. I’ll have my desk cleaned out in an hour.”
He grabs my arm, turning me to face him as I open my eyes. His expression is dark, scary and makes my soul wither up to hide from the intensity of the storm raging in his eyes. “Don’t you fucking dare leave.”
“Logan. I’m humiliated. Please just let me go.”
His grip tightens as he drags me closer to him. “No! You aren’t going anywhere.”
“But you are. You have court.”
It hangs there between us. He knows he has to go. He has no choice, or the trial he’s been working so hard on for months will be shot to hell. This is closing. He has to be there.
“Please don’t leave. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
I nod just to get him to back off and let me wallow in how pathetic I am. God, he must think I’m so unworldly and inexperienced. I’m the worst sex he’s ever engaged in, and he won’t leave so I can be embarrassed in private.
He huffs out a breath and lets me go, running his hand through his hair again in agitation. “Don’t. Leave.” He jabs his finger at me.
Turning from him, I don’t answer, relieved when he finally storms out of the ladies' room at the precise moment when everyone seems to be arriving at work. Glaring at my reflection, I’m a mess.
Tears have stained my cheeks, my bottom lip is swollen from biting it while he was fucking me, my clothes are creased, and my shirt is hanging out of the top of my skirt.
“What happened?” Rue asks, barreling into the ladies’ like a pit bull. “Was it John? I’ll fucking kill him.”
“It wasn’t John. And hi, by the way.”
She glares at me. “You’re a mess. Tell me what happened.”
“How do you know anything happened?”
She purses her lips before blowing out a breath. “Logan asked me to check on you.”
I freeze. “Has he gone?”
She nods slowly. “Logan?”
Nodding back, I don’t even know what to say.
“Fuck, Serena,” she breathes.
“It’s not what you think…”
“Then what? Did you consent?” Her question raises a lot of apprehension in my already painfully anxious body. She folds her arms over her chest as she stares at me.
I push my fingers against my eyes, trying to get my thoughts in a concise order. “Yes, I consented. I wanted it,” I say calmly. “I did. But I’m inexperienced and scared. And he’s my boss and we are at work—”
“Did you O?”
“Oh, yes,” I admit with a soft moan at remembering my pussy clench around his long, thick cock.
“Okay, I think I’m starting to understand this a little bit.”
“I’m glad you are because I’m still confused.” Giving her a shaky smile, she returns it.
“You want him, he definitely wants you, but you’re worried becuase he’s your boss. It’s okay, Serena. And it’s okay to tell him that.”
“I did.”
“What did he say?”
“Not a lot. I think I scared him off. He’s used to dealing with women with far more poise than me. To him, I’m a child who he regrets getting involved with.”
“No,” she says, shaking her head. “He was torn up just now.”
“Then why did you think he’d hurt me?”
She shrugs. “I was confused. You were all over the place, I didn’t know what to think.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t you fucking dare apologize. You’re allowed to be scattered. This is huge. What are you going to do?”
“I want to quit, but he said not to.”
“Then he definitely doesn’t regret getting involved with you. Don’t you think he’d want to ship you out immediately if he was on that bus? Do you want him? I mean, in the larger sense?”
“That’s the million-dollar question,” I murmur. “There was this thing between us on Saturday night. He saved me from my stupid ex, who was being a bit handsy.”
“Wait? What? When?”
“When I went to the toilet. But he was drunk, and I was tipsy, and he left after he said some things. Ever since then, I haven’t been able to get him out of my head.”
Rue sighs and wraps her arms around me. “You’ve got it bad.”
“No kidding. He’s…everything.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
“Come, let’s get you cleaned up and back to your desk.”
I let her sort my clothes out and dab my eyes. She’s like a mother hen, and I think she quite enjoys the role.
“Thank you, Rue. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“I’ve got you, boo. Do you want to come to mine later? Spend the night?”
Warily, I consider her offer.
“Look, I’m not asking you to stay up all night and chit-chat, you can go to bed and just not be alone.”
“You’re sweet, but I think I’ll be okay.
” To be honest, I want to go home in case Logan wants me.
I want to be ready if he wants to talk or whatever.
I’m so fucking lost in him; it makes me feel even worse about our encounter.
My fantasy was us being together and me being perfect and active during the sex.
Instead, I was useless and probably turned him off me for life.
I blew it, all because I can’t forget what happened to me.
“If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
I nod and let her walk me out of the ladies and back to my desk in the now busy office.
“So if we’re done with your drama, can I tell you about my night?” she asks with a smirk.
“Please,” I say, sitting down, feeling his cum in my panties with a thrilling spike in my blood. I wonder if he knows I’m sitting here covered in his cum, or if he thinks I cleaned up. Would he want me to have his cum pooling in my panties? Would it turn him on?
“Okay, so I was at this sex club not far from Belmont’s, right, and I was in a back room with Lola. She was eating me out like a starving woman…”
“Wait, is Lola your girlfriend?” I don’t know anything about her sex life, yet she seems to know everything about mine now. Fair’s fair that I ask.
She shakes her head, perching on the edge of the desk. “Nah, she’s a sweet treat. Anyway, there I am, with my dress up my waist, panties on the floor with Lola’s tongue up my cunt, when this guy walks in…”
“He just walked in?” I ask, horrified. “Isn’t that, like, I dunno, not allowed?” I have no clue what I’m talking about.
“We weren’t in a private room. It was a public one, just empty except for us,” she dismisses with a wave. “Stop interrupting.”
“Sorry.”
“Anyway, he was ginormous. I mean, like a proper fucking giant, with this black hair and built like a fucking tree.”
“Oh, yum.”
“Right? So he just stands there, watching us, and then he casually pulls an apple out of his coat pocket with this big ass hunting knife, which I don't even know how he smuggled that in, and starts slicing pieces of the apple off and eating them! It was so fucking weird.”
Eye wide, I ask, “Weren’t you scared he’d try something?”
“Are you kidding? I wish he had. It was weird he was just standing there eating his apple.”
“You wanted him to try something?”
“I wouldn’t have said no. I can only imagine the size of his cock.”
“I wish I was more like you.”
She smiles and pats my hand. “One day, maybe, boo. You aren’t ready for that kind of sexual liberation.”
“You’re so cool,” I groan, feeling like a complete idiot.
She giggles. “I love my life, I love my body, I love sex. I’m not going to deny myself anything. Why should I?” She shrugs and stands up. “I’ll catch you at lunch.”
Waving her off, I watch her leave, knowing her words are solid.
Why should anyone deny themselves what they want?
I want Logan. I know I do. He just took what he wanted before I knew what was happening.
But that doesn’t mean I didn’t want it. Chewing my bottom lip, wishing he was here so I could tell him all of this, I struggle to get my head into my work, knowing that he has twisted my soul around and ensured that I can’t live without him. He is dark, haunted, dangerous.
He is my poison, but I don’t give a fuck.