Chapter 23
Serena
When I open my eyes, I’m in bed. The curtains are open, showing me the rain-speckled window with the city lights gleaming in the background.
“You fucking shit me up so bad.”
Groaning as I turn my head to the left, I see Rue standing in the corner of my bedroom in the dark, her arms folded. She’s wearing white cropped pants with dark stains all over them and her white t-shirt.
Bringing my hand to my head, I wince at the pain in my arm, and it all comes crashing back down. I close my eyes briefly before opening them again and inhale deeply, noticing the white bandage wrapped tight around my arm from my inner elbow to my wrist.
“Sorry,” I murmur.
“Don’t,” she says, her voice cracking. “This is messed up, Serena.”
“I wasn’t trying to kill myself.”
“Great consolation there, boo. Thank you for that.” Her gut-wrenching sarcasm makes me giggle inappropriately, hurting my stomach.
“Did I throw up?”
“Yes.”
“Sorry.”
“Your uncle is here.”
Snapping my head to the side in panic, I shake my head. “I don’t want to see him.”
“He’s talking with the medic who came. I don’t think he’s from the hospital. Looks kind of shady. What the fuck is going on here?”
“I know it looks horrible, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to come and save me. It wasn’t a cry for help.”
Liar. You’re a coward, and that’s why you called her.
The crushing voice in my head lays it all bare, and tears prick my eyes.
“You don’t have to tell me what’s going on, but know that I’m here if you want to, okay?”
“You can leave and never look back, Rue. In fact, if I were you, that’s what I would do. Forget about me and my drama, yeah? I’m not coming back to work on Monday, so you don’t ever have to see me again.”
“Fuck you,” she hisses. “I’m not some delicate flower who can’t handle a suicide attempt.”
“That’s not what this was. I can’t…I’ve never been able to…”
“You’ve done this before?”
I nod and look away, not being able to face her sorrow.
“Serena, look at me.”
I don’t.
“Look. At. Me,” she grits out.
I turn my head and stare at her.
“I’m covered in your blood and vomit. Do you think I would have messed up my clothes if I didn’t fucking care about you? I’m not going anywhere, fucker, so you can’t either. Got it?”
“I’m not going anywhere, but you should. You should run as far away from me as you can get.”
“Not a chance, boo. You and me, there’s a kinship here. I don’t understand it, but I feel closer to you than the friends I’ve had since I was a child. Don’t fucking leave me.”
Tears spill out of her eyes, and I choke back the ugly sob, sinking further into my bed.
“I feel it, too,” I mumble.
“Is this about Logan?”
Throwing the covers back and sitting upright, ignoring my spinning head, I shake it vehemently, bringing my aching arm up to place my finger on my lips.
She frowns and looks over her shoulder.
“When he’s gone, we’ll talk,” I whisper.
“I’ll tell him you’re still asleep, see if he’ll go away if that’s what you want.”
I nod and sink back into the soft pillows.
She disappears and returns shortly. “He’s going, but he said he’d be back to check on you in an hour. He’s pissed.”
Ignoring her comment about Quen, I ask, instead, “How did you know where I live?”
She chews her lip. “Don’t kill me…err, bad choice of words,” she mutters. “I went to Logan.”
“Went to? You know where he lives?” The jealousy that slices through me is more painful than the knife was through my flesh.
“I live underneath him by three floors.”
“You’re his neighbor?”
“Of sorts. It’s my parents’ apartment, they pay for it. I like it; I’m not leaving it, so fuck it, if they want to keep paying, I’ll keep living there.”
“I’m starting to wish I’d stayed at my parents’ house,” I moan more to myself than her.
“Do you think you can drink some water?”
My stomach churns at the thought, but my disgusting mouth wins out, so I nod.
She comes closer. The sight of her clothes in the light from the window is too much for me.
I curl up in a ball under the covers and cry my heart out, wishing for the one man in the world I want to comfort me, but who never wanted me in the first place.
It just makes me sob harder.