Chapter 32
Serena
The apartment Logan leads me to isn’t that far from Belmont’s.
Maybe five minutes, and we were already halfway there when he dragged me into an alley to have his wicked way with me.
There was no way I was missing out on the good parts this time.
I know what to expect with him now. He enjoys the spontaneity of sex wherever and whenever he wants it.
It’s something I can get on board with because I want to be with him, no matter what.
I’m not even that concerned about Quentin leaping out of the shadows anymore.
Logan makes me feel safe. He has the presence and strength to protect me and the temper to see it through.
I hope Dave is all right. I’ll have to call him and apologize once I can get my head on straight.
Silently, Logan and I climb into the elevator, and he stabs the button for upstairs. It’s like neither of us wants to talk for fear of breaking whatever this is between us.
That changes once we are inside his gorgeous penthouse apartment overlooking the city.
“Wow,” I murmur at the view of the river and the city lights. “Much nicer than my end.”
He doesn’t reply but pulls me closer, tangling his fingers in my hair. “Serena.”
Wanting him to kiss me, I tilt my head back, but he doesn’t press his lips to mine. Instead, he traces his thumb over them, taking in every inch of my face.
“You’re so beautiful.”
Shyly biting my bottom lip, I bring my hand to his face. “You’ve looked better.”
He snorts with amusement and pulls me over to the sofa. “No kidding, angel.”
We sit down, facing each other. He leans his elbow on the back of the sofa and watches me, making me feel awkward.
“What?”
“That guy? You didn’t answer me.”
“Dave?” I splutter, surprised we’re still on this.
“Dave? He has a name?”
“Obviously,” I retort. “I know him from high school. You don’t have to be worried about him.”
“Ah, I see. Still, I meant what I said.”
“Say it again,” I murmur, edging closer, needing this jealousy, this possessiveness. It’s making me feel alive and wanted.
“If I can’t have you, no one can, angel.”
“Are you worried? About Quen?”
He pauses, inhaling deeply. “Are you?”
“Yes.”
“Is it going to stop you?”
“No.”
“Then we will figure this out. I’m not losing you as soon as I found you, Serena.”
“I don’t want that either, but what are we supposed to do? I don’t want him hurting you again, or worse. This is… it makes me feel sick to know that someone in my family hurt you this badly.”
“Only because I let him. If he comes at me again, I don’t give a fuck who he is, he won’t get his hands on me again.”
“Why did you let him?” I ask quietly. I wouldn’t take a beating if I had the means to prevent it from happening.
“Many reasons, most you won’t understand yet.”
“Then explain it.”
“One day.”
“You felt you deserved it?”
He narrows his eyes and glares at me in an annoyed way, but not angry. “It’s complicated.”
“What a cop-out.”
He snickers, playing with my fingers, stroking my palm with his thumb, and generally setting my body on fire with his touches. “I adore you, angel. You are my good girl, aren’t you?”
I lower my eyes. “Yes.”
“Do you like it when I call you that?”
“Good girl? Yes.”
“Mine,” he growls.
Letting out a soft pant, I nod, unable to form words right now.
“I’m so proud of you for standing up to your friends,” he murmurs, bringing my hand to his lips to kiss lightly.
I feel like I could float if he let go of me. My self-esteem has skyrocketed, and it makes what I did to myself seem so foolish and ridiculous. He must see my face fall because he grips my chin and lifts my head up to meet his gaze.
“Are you okay, Serena?”
“I’m okay.”
“What did you do on Friday night that scared Rue and Quentin so much?”
“I’d rather not.”
“Tell me,” he demands. “No secrets. Serena. If you keep things from me, it will make me angry that you don’t trust me. You trust me, don’t you?”
How can I answer that? I don’t even really know him. But all I have to do is stare into those magnificent blue eyes and see his worry to know I do. “Yes.”
“Then tell me.”
Swallowing, I pull my hands away from him, missing his touch, feeling cold at the loss of it. Running my hands up my arms, I push my sleeves up and then hold my arms out to show him.
His sharp intake of breath, followed by a mask of complete sorrow, breaks my heart. I feel worthless for disappointing him so badly.
“I’m sorry,” I mutter, dropping my arms and standing up.
He grabs my hand and hauls me down. “No,” he says quietly, brushing my hair away from my face. “I’m sorry, Serena. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you all the times you needed me.”
“Ooh,” I gasp, his words hitting my sweet spot with such accuracy I nearly come on the spot. “You’re here now.”
He cups my face but still doesn’t kiss me. I’m desperate for it, for him. I want to taste him. I want to devour him. “I will be there for you always. You never need to worry about being alone anymore, Serena. I am the one you’ve been looking for. I am the one who will save you. Do you believe me?”
“Yes.”
I feel so stupid. I can’t seem to form proper sentences around him. I’m a panting, sweaty, inarticulate mess with fresh self-harm scars and a beat-up soul. What does he see in me?
Lowering my eyes again and withdrawing, he takes my chin and tilts my head again.
“I understand what it’s like to be haunted, baby girl. Tell me, who hurt you?”
Shaking my head, I choke up. “I can’t. Not yet,” I whisper.
“I will avenge you, my sweet, sweet angel. You don’t deserve to carry this burden around with you. It’s dragging you into the darkness, and I don’t want you there with me. I want you to be in the light, to flourish and grow into a spectacular woman who has nothing to fear.”
Cupping his face, I dare to ask, “Who hurt you, angel?”
He laughs sadly. “How about this? You tell me yours, and I’ll tell you mine.”
“That’s not fair.”
“I’m not pressuring you. You will do that to yourself depending on how badly you need to know about me.”
“Very badly.”
“Then you have some thinking to do. I demand absolute and total trust, Serena. No secrets, no fantasies left untold. I want you stripped bare for me to see every part of you. I want you to rip open your soul and bleed into mine so that I don’t know where I begin and you end, and in return, I will do the same. Can you do that, angel?”
With my heart pounding in my ears at his delicious words, I shiver. “Yes.”
“Good girl,” he murmurs, fisting his hand in my hair.
“You’re so brave. So beautiful. I’m so proud of you for so many reasons, but fighting your darkness is difficult.
I know, and I’ll be there with you every step of the way, reminding you how amazing you are.
I will make up for all the times I wasn’t there. ”
“Logan,” I croak, tears welling up. “I need you.”
“That makes me so happy to hear, angel. I need you too. You soothe the savage beast inside me. Without you, I’m lost.”
Wanting to kiss him, wanting to climb into his lap to ride him all night long, I know I have to get back to Rue, or she will be frantic. A phone call won’t cut it. And I won’t say that the thought of Quen showing up and killing Logan isn’t constantly pestering me, either.
“I should go,” I murmur reluctantly.
He nods and stands up. “Wait here.”
Looking around his apartment as he runs up the stairs, I note how immaculate it is. I’m such a slob compared to him. He is everything I’m not. Again, I wonder why he is doing this. Why does he say he wants me?
“Take this,” he says when he returns, holding a small black phone out to me. “It’s a burner. I’ll call you on it and message you several times a day to make sure you’re okay. If you ever need me, the number you can reach me on is in there. Don’t show it to anyone, not even Rue, okay, baby girl?”
“Okay,” I say, taking it and standing up. “When will I see you again?”
“Soon. I can’t stay away now that you’re so close, but there is a masked party on Saturday. Ask Rue to be her plus one, and I’ll see you there; in the meantime, I’ll find a way to see you.”
“I hate this sneaking around.”
“We will be together soon. I promise you.”
He leads me to the front door. Part of me wishes he’d protested and begged me to stay. It makes me insecure again that he wants me to leave. But when I look into his eyes and see them filled with such longing and sadness that we have to part, it washes all the doubt away.
“I’ll make sure you get home safe,” he murmurs.
I shake my head. “No, stay here. It’s okay. I’ll grab a cab. The last thing I want is Quen to find out about this. He will go ballistic. Fucker,” I add under my breath.
Logan laughs softly. “Not much longer, baby girl. You will be mine out in the open, your uncle and his threats be damned. But no, I’ll see you home.”
“Please, stay here. We’ve already risked too much.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking me.”
His intense gaze bores into mine, and I nearly give in, but his presence isn’t required.
“I’ll be fine,” I murmur and turn to the elevator before he has a chance to protest again, or I decide not to leave and throw myself at him to ravage as he sees fit.
As the door slides shut, I press the button for three floors down, and when they open, I see Rue pacing up and down outside an open apartment door, checking her phone impatiently.
I smile, knowing she’d come home to wait for me.
“Hey!” she practically shouts. “Fuck! What is going on?”
She doesn’t wait for me to answer, she just grabs my wrist and drags me into her apartment, closing the door quickly and quietly before she turns to me, demanding answers.