Chapter 43
Serena
“Excuse me?” Logan mutters.
Rue gives me a thoughtful stare and then slowly nods her head. “Interesting, and it makes sense.”
“How long have you known this?”
Meeting Logan’s gaze, I sigh. “I don’t actually know for sure. It’s an educated guess. The way he came in so hard about you and me, the whole forbidding thing, the fact that I look more like him than my parents. It all sort of fell into place, but like I said, I don’t know for sure.”
“It does make sense,” he mutters. “It explains a whole lot, really.” He chuckles softly. “I guess I was going up against Daddy and not Uncle. No wonder he smashed the living daylights out of my face.”
“I’m so sorry,” I cry, stroking his face, which has mostly healed up now. “I can’t believe this.”
“I guess you need to confirm it.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to speak to my mom-aunt-whatever. I mean, where do I start? And no, I’m not talking to Quen. He can get fucked. If this is true, he gave me away to his sister to raise me as her own. Who does that? And why?”
“This aside,” Rue says carefully. “Can we trust you with our secret?”
“Obviously,” I scoff. “Who am I going to tell? No one would believe me anyway.”
Rue nods and stands up. “I’ll leave you two to talk. But Logan, my parents need an answer about last night.”
“Tell them I was protecting Serena. If they want me, they can come for me.”
What does that mean?
“Fair enough,” she mutters, and then, with a quick wave, she’s gone.
“There are severe repercussions,” Logan says, carrying on the conversation. “You aren’t safe right now.”
“Why, because you’ve just told me all this?
I won’t say anything, I swear.” I’m deadly serious about this.
I won’t utter a word because it’s ludicrous, for a start.
I can’t really process it properly, though, with first Rue and then Logan hovering over me.
I need a minute to think, to have a quiet calm so I can go over it and just think.
There’s so much to unpack here, John’s death only the least of it.
But I suppose there’s the whole deal that Logan won’t get into trouble for it.
“No, I think the cleaner heard you on the phone last night,” Logan mutters.
“What?” I ask, confused. I don’t really remember too much about what happened after I saw Logan kill John. It’s a bit of a blur.
“When I was on the phone, you spoke, and I think he heard you. So he knows someone else was there. You need to stay here for your safety.”
“What about Quentin?”
He blows out a breath and says, “There’s a lot still going on.
Viktor and Francesca offered me a higher position last night.
Higher than Quen. It means I can deal with him however I see fit.
But now that you think he’s your dad, well, that kind of puts a wrench in the works. I can’t just kill him now.”
“Why not?”
My serious question gets laughed at.
“I’m not going to kill your father.”
“Even if I don’t care?”
“Especially if you don’t care. Because maybe you will care in a year, or when we get married, or there’s some other milestone, and you want to share it with him.”
“Blergh. You think we’ll get married?”
He chuckles. “Absolutely, baby girl.”
Grinning, I feel sort of detached from the rest of the stuff.
Like it’s real, and some part of me cares, but the part that lights up when Logan smiles at me with that sexy curve of his lips, yeah, that part doesn’t give a flying fuck about anything except him.
I’d already come to the conclusion that I would say and do anything to be with him.
He’s the hero of my story. The older man who has swooped in and taken responsibility for me in a way that my soul was crying out for.
I didn’t realize how low I was until he picked me up and cradled me in his arms.
But a sad smile creeps over my face, knowing I have to tell him the whole truth and hope he doesn’t back out.
“I don’t want kids.”
Biting my bottom lip as I wait for him to take that in and process it, I wring my hands in nervousness.
“No?”
I shake my head. “Sorry, I’m just...I don’t think it’s ever been part of my plans. I’m not stable enough, I may never be. I’m sorry.”
Logan grabs my hands and kisses them, holding them tightly between his own. “Look at me.”
Forcing my gaze to meet his, I let out a soft sob at the love and warmth in his eyes.
“It was never part of my plans, either, baby girl. I’m too jaded, too selfish.
My conscience is murky gray at best, and I’ve seen how vile this world can be.
You and me together is all I need to be happy, Serena.
Don’t ever feel bad over the things you want.
No one has a right to tell you what you can and can’t do or feel. No one. Do you hear me? You decide.”
Overwhelming emotions bubble up and pour out in the form of relieved tears.
He is perfect for me. He understands me on a level that no one else ever has.
My ex was so dead set on having kids, a house, a dog, and maybe a cat.
I can barely look after myself, so how can I even begin to think about bringing children into my shitshow.
As much as being with Logan is right for me, I’m not whole.
If I ever do become whole, and it’s a goal I want to achieve someday in the far future when it’s possible, it will be something I want to hold onto and celebrate, to find the freedom that I’ve never had from being a child to growing up.
But right now, I’m still that lost little girl, seeking a reprieve from the demon who haunts me.
Logan gives me that. I only need him.
My angel.
Reaching out, he gently strokes my face and rubs his thumb over my lip. “Let me show you something.”
He helps me to my feet while curiosity gets the better of me. “What is it?”
Leading me to the closet, he opens the door and steps inside, pulling me in with him. “There is a panic room built into the back of the closet.” He shoves his suits aside to show me a small panel.
Blinking rapidly, I peer closer at it. “What’s it for?”
Punching in a number, he steps to the side as we hear a click, and he shoves open a door that appeared to be the back wall of the closet.
“Oh,” I exclaim.
“The number is 1125. Can you remember that?”
Nodding, I repeat to him. “1125. Why are you showing me this?”
“In case they come for you, Serena. I’m deadly serious about this. You need to hide in here if anyone breaks in. Anyone at all. Can you do that?”
Sweat beads my upper lip as I glare into the tiny box room. “It’s very small.”
“It is, but it will keep you safe, and that’s all I care about.”
“I have claustrophobia issues.”
“I know, that’s why I’m asking you if you can do this.”
“How do I get out?”
“Same panel and number on the other side.”
Nodding slowly, I inhale and then breathe out. “Okay, I can do that.”
“Good girl. Thank you. I know it will take so much courage for you to put your fears aside, but I can’t let anything happen to you, Serena.”
Buoyed by his praise, I beam. “I will do it for you.”
His sad smile confuses me momentarily. “You should do it for yourself, Serena, but I’ll take it.”
“My life is nothing without you.”
He grabs my hand again as he closes the secret door. “Mine is nothing without you, which is why I need you safe.”
“Are you really in the clear for John’s death?” This needs reinforcing. I will die if anyone takes him away from me, and I will kill anyone who tries.
“Yes, baby girl. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“Okay, now we are going to go downstairs and eat that magnificent meal that Rose has got cooking, seeing as I’m starving, and later you are going to tell me everything I need to do to get accepted into this Society. I won’t be sitting on the outside looking in. It’s how I’ve lived my whole life.”
“Not anymore,” Logan says, drawing me to him. “I’ll tell you anything you need to know, and I will facilitate your acceptance however I can, but know it won’t be easy.”
“Nothing worth it ever is.”
His blue eyes catch mine, and he gazes at me with such love that I nearly start crying again. “Truer words were never spoken.”