10. Alex
Chapter 10
Alex
One of the benefits of being a paladin was that he didn’t have a strict schedule. Some did, such as the administrators and teachers in the boarding school. But for field agents like Alex, as long as he did the required drills with his squad each week, showed up for patrols, and kept up with his paperwork, his hours were his own.
It was especially convenient when he slept an extra three hours longer than usual, his body boneless and sated in a way he’d never experienced before.
He woke with a shock, blinking in the cheery morning sunlight. Did Talon really appear in his bedroom and get him off, or was last night just another one of his inexplicable dreams of the demon? He remembered hungry dark eyes, slick kisses, sucking heat, and a strange, hot fullness he’d never known before. It wasn’t so different from some of the dreams he’d been having, but the mornings after didn’t usually leave him feeling so wrung out.
He was naked, his boxer briefs on the floor across the room. He felt distinctly different as he rose and dressed. There was a mild soreness in his ass. His legs and abs were sore in an unfamiliar way. It wasn’t until he got to the bathroom that he found the irrefutable proof.
There were teeth marks in the curve of his neck. They hadn’t broken the skin, but there was no denying that was what they were, bruised, curving lines in an oval shape.
His lips parted in shock as the reality of what happened hit him.
Talon didn’t just come into his apartment last night. No, Alex remembered dreaming about his childhood home. Talon had appeared there, yanking him from the dream and sending him hurtling into his own bed. He’d seen Talon in his dreams, acting out exactly what was happening for real, and when he’d woken, Talon was there. How could he enter Alex’s dreams? Halflings couldn’t do that.
Anxiety lurched through him. Maybe they could, and the guild just had no record of it. They knew the black-eyed ones were stronger than the red-eyed ones. Maybe they had special powers that allowed them to dreamwalk. He couldn’t know for sure without… asking Talon himself. And he wasn’t sure he could trust the demon’s word. If he’d been entering his dreams all this time, it meant everything Alex had experienced there was real .
Oh, God, it was all real.
‘I’ll keep you safe,’ he’d said. In both Alex’s dreams and reality. And he had, hadn’t he?
His head swirled, and he staggered from the bathroom. He needed to get a grip. He blindly grabbed some clothes from the dresser and went into the kitchen to make coffee. Caffeine would help.
What was Talon’s angle? He was a demon. They manipulated people into doing what they wanted. What did Talon want with him ? Was it just about the thrill of corrupting a paladin? Was it just a game for him?
‘I had to see you, couldn’t let you walk away for good.’
‘I want to take you apart, little bird. I want to make you feel so good you can’t think about anything but me.’
He shivered. That didn’t sound like someone playing a game, but he couldn’t figure out why Talon would take an interest in him in the first place. Alex was nothing, nobody, in the grand scheme of things.
And what about what he’d said right before Alex dropped off into the first dreamless sleep he’d had in weeks? He’d offered to help Alex find the mozgoran. ‘Come to my apartment,’ he’d said. It didn’t seem wise to let a paladin know where he laid his head, if he was truly playing with him.
While the coffeemaker gurgled, Alex fetched his phone. Enough with the endless questions and wonderings. He had Talon’s number. He could confront him.
When he unlocked the screen, he was surprised to find a text waiting for him.
I know you’ll have questions when you wake. I’ll answer.
Well, good . He did have questions. Starting with this one:
Have you just been playing me this whole time?
He set the phone down hard and pulled a coffee mug from the cabinet, shaking his head in frustration. He focused on the anger, letting it burn under his skin, rather than the betrayal and hurt that tried to form. Talon was a demon. Of course he was just playing with him. Alex might’ve been a nobody, but it was probably still fun for a demon like him to tempt a holy warrior to sin, wasn’t it? And that was exactly what happened last night. He’d let himself get complacent because he’d thought the dreams were just idle fantasies. The subconscious curiosities of a lonely mind.
His phone chimed. He scowled at it. It didn’t really matter what Talon said. Alex was done with him. But against his better judgment, he tilted his head to glance at the screen.
Ten minutes.
Alex scoffed. Ten minutes until what? He left his phone in the kitchen and strode to the living room, hitting the power button on his rarely used television and turning it to a random news station, and sat down heavily on the sofa.
He screwed up. He let a demon… do things to him. His mouth went dry at the memory, at the remembered burst of pleasure when he’d come down Talon’s throat.
He couldn’t even go to confession about this. He couldn’t guarantee Father Hawley wouldn’t report him, and he couldn’t afford to be suspended. Steam rose from his forgotten coffee. The liquid was almost as dark as Talon’s eyes.
Why protect Alex from the nightmares? Why hide him from Michael? Why, why, why?
“Most people look more relaxed after the kind of night you had, little bird.”
Alex jolted, spilling hot coffee in his lap. With a yelp and a hiss, he abandoned the mug on the coffee table and leaped to his feet. “What the hell are you doing here? How do you keep getting in? I have wards on the door!”
Talon looked remarkably… soft . In black sweats and a plain black T-shirt, he was without the leather jacket for the first time. His raven’s-feather hair was mussed, and—was that a pillow crease on his cheek? His expression softened with amusement at Alex’s outburst.
“You do. They’re cute, little bird.”
He gaped furiously. “I—I’m going to change, and when I get back, you’re not going to be here anymore.”
“You asked me a question. I came here to answer. I figured coming here would be easier than talking over text. I’m sure you have a lot to say.”
Alex balled his hands into fists. “Oh, I have a lot I’d like to say. But the main thing is that you need to leave . We’re done, you and I. I don’t know what game you’re playing, but it’s over.” He strode past Talon and into the bedroom.
“Why?” Talon followed. “Because you enjoyed yourself? Because you realized it wasn’t all conjured up by your imagination?”
“Because you’re a demon!” He yanked open one of the dresser drawers and pulled out a clean pair of heather gray sweats. The coffee was now thoroughly soaked into his current ones. “Get out! I have to change.”
Talon leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms haughtily. “I had a finger in your ass last night, but this is where you draw the line?”
Alex flushed from root to tip, burning under Talon’s knowing gaze. “That shouldn’t have happened.”
“I asked you if you wanted me to stop. You very explicitly said ‘no, don’t stop.’ Remember?”
Humiliation cut through him, and he sagged. He had, hadn’t he?
“I didn’t…” Despair rushed through him, clogging his throat. “I thought it was a dream .”
Talon was quiet for a long moment—long enough for Alex to wonder what his face was doing, but he couldn’t bring himself to raise his gaze.
“Did you really?” Talon finally asked, his tone carefully blank.
“Yes.” Hadn’t he? One moment Talon had yanked him from his usual nightmares and taken him to his room, and the next he’d been awake and he really was . Last night had lacked all the other qualities of his usual dreams. Everything had felt visceral in a way the fuzzy, muted dreams never did. He’d told himself it was a dream, told himself there was no way Talon could’ve gotten past his wards, that it had to be a dream… but it wasn’t.
He sat down on the foot of the bed, coffee-soaked sweats forgotten. “No,” he confessed. His eyes burned with frustrated tears, and he twisted the fabric of the clean sweats between his hands. “No, I didn’t really think it was a dream. But that means I should’ve put a stop to it. It was wrong. It shouldn’t have happened. Whatever you’re doing to me, whatever the reason, it has to end now.” He closed his eyes, bowing his head in defeat. It didn’t matter how good it felt or how pretty Talon’s words sounded. Alex wasn’t safe with Talon. He couldn’t be.
He was a demon.
Gentle hands on his thighs shocked him from his thoughts. He sucked in a sharp breath as his eyes sprang open. Talon was right in front of him, on his knees.
“I am truly sorry for causing you this stress, for what it’s worth,” Talon said kindly. “The truth is, I don’t know why I’m doing this. I don’t know why I can’t seem to stop thinking about you. You awoke something in me I didn’t even know was there. You’re so full of life. You’re my antithesis. I had been dormant for centuries before you arrived like a beam of light in the darkness. And I knew I would do anything to have you be mine. A part of you has burrowed inside me, and I can’t get you out. I’m not going anywhere. You can send me away, if you want, but I’ll be there when you fall asleep.”
“ Why ?” He didn’t understand. What was Talon saying? That he was stuck with him from now on? Talon was going to be his unfairly attractive shadow for the rest of his life?
“I don’t know why,” Talon said again. “I just know you’re mine.”
Alex stared. Talon gave a little shrug, like it was a foregone conclusion.
Alex swallowed hard. “Don’t I get a choice in this?”
“Of course,” Talon breathed. “You could walk away. I would hate it, but I would let you. Your dreams could be the only place we see each other, if you won’t have me in reality. I have the power to force what I want from you, but where would the fun be in that? I want you to surrender to me, little bird. I want you to be as desperate for me as I am for you. I want mine to be the only name you cry out in need.”
Before he could formulate a response, Talon was hooking his hands in the coffee-stained sweats and tugging. Alex sputtered, trying to move away, and that was enough for Talon to get them down his thighs. He hastily grabbed at his boxers to keep them from sliding down, too.
“What are you?—”
“Well, there’s no point in you sitting here in sullied clothing, is there?” Talon murmured, taking the clean sweats from him and threading one foot at a time through them.
Alex’s face burned anew. He couldn’t remember anyone in his life ever dressing him. He lifted his weight enough for Talon to pull the waistband up past his rear, leaning all the way between his legs to do so. And once he was there, he didn’t move away, resting his elbows on either side of Alex’s legs and fitting his hands around Alex’s hips. It wasn’t an overtly sexual touch, but it still felt unusually intimate. His head tilted, midnight eyes staring up at Alex as though waiting for his next refrain.
He searched for the anger that had fizzled out. “You said halflings can’t dreamwalk. There’s nothing in our archives about that being possible. I didn’t think…”
Talon looked almost pitying. “Oh, little bird, I’m not a halfling.”
Ice slipped down his spine. “What?”
“You paladins think every demon that looks human is a halfling. We haven’t dissuaded you of the notion because it keeps you in the dark about what some of us can do. Those of us with black eyes aren’t halflings at all. I’ve never been human. I was born in Hell long before humans discovered the New World.”
Alex tried to draw away, but Talon’s grip tightened on his hips.
“You’re in no danger from me. That hasn’t changed.”
“You’ve been lying to me this whole time! I can’t trust anything you say!”
“I never outright told you I was a halfling. I just let you believe it.”
“That’s not better!” He tried to pry Talon’s hands off him, but his grip was like steel. Finally, he twisted a leg between them and kicked Talon in the chest, sending him sprawling onto his rear. “What the hell are you, then?”
Talon straightened, his hands braced on the floor behind him, looking irritated but otherwise unruffled. “I’m a leviathan.”
“What the hell is that?” He’d never even heard of a leviathan demon. There might’ve been something in the guild’s archives, but he’d have to do a deep dive. They learned about the most common demons in demonology classes as students, and if a leviathan was mentioned, he couldn’t remember it.
Talon smiled smugly. “Exactly.”
Alex leveled an unamused glare at him. “Okay, this is insane. You have to go.”
Talon pounced, grabbing Alex by the hips again so fast he barely had time to flinch. “I told you, little bird, you’re safe with me. I’d never do anything to harm you. In fact, I took great pleasure in taking you apart last night. It thrilled me. You’re so perfect.”
Alex covered Talon’s mouth, his eyes wide and his face burning. “No.”
He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to respond to any of the information he’d been given. Talon wasn’t a halfling. He’d been visiting Alex’s dreams—and would continue to do so, by the sound of it. He wasn’t going to leave Alex alone.
But did Alex really want him to?
Talon didn’t seem bothered by the hand over his mouth. In fact, he covered it with his own, tangling their fingers together. The weight of his gaze burned into Alex, and he ducked his head, carding his fingers through his hair in order to avoid Talon’s eyes.
He thought back to his dreams. To that moment on the beach from his childhood, his hands cradling Talon’s face. How his eyelids had fluttered like he’d been entranced by Alex’s touch.
‘You’re not alone, little bird,’ he’d said. ‘You’ve got me. Even when you don’t know it. Even when you feel alone. I’m here.’
It had felt like such a relief in that moment. Of course, he’d thought the whole thing was a fantasy. He’d never imagined a demon would say such sweet things to him. Hell, he’d never imagined anyone would say those things to him. His family was killed by a demon, and he’d held himself apart from everyone else for the rest of his life because of it. No one had ever bullied their way into his life whether he liked it or not and stayed .
And as the dream faded away, ‘No, don’t wake up yet.’ He pleaded with Alex to stay. To come and find the real him. Like he’d… wanted to see him. At every turn, Talon had been promising him safety, help, companionship, and Alex’s lonely heart yearned for it.
Talon’s free hand encircled his wrist, stroking gently, as though he was in no hurry to shake Alex from whatever trance he’d fallen into.
Alex blinked, coming back to himself. He drew his hand away from Talon’s mouth. “You omitted things. Important things.”
Talon lowered his gaze, looking forlorn. “I did. Nothing I thought would endanger you. None of the truths I omitted were intended to cause you pain. I thought you would push me away if you learned I wasn’t a halfling, and I wanted to know you. I wanted to see you, so I entered your dreams, where I knew you’d treat me with less suspicion.”
A pang of guilt went through Alex. He was certainly treating Talon with suspicion now , but he deserved it, didn’t he?
“The things you said, though, in my dreams. Did you mean them?”
“Every word. All of it.” Talon leaned in, curling around Alex once more. “Don’t send me away. Your dreams will be a poor substitute now that I know what the real thing feels like.”
Alex remembered the muted sensation of their kisses on the beach and found himself reaching for Talon, cradling his head just as he had in the dream. And this time, Talon groaned like the touch burned , leaning into it as his eyes drifted shut and his brow furrowed.
“You can’t expect this to go on forever,” Alex said. “The guild won’t allow it.”
“They don’t scare me, little bird.”
“They should. If they find out you’re—circling one of their people, or whatever, they’ll kill you.”
Talon smiled, slow and smug.
“What?” Alex asked. “Why are you smiling?”
“You said ‘they.’”
“Yeah, and?”
“Not ‘we.’ You’re not threatening to kill me. You don’t want me to go.”
Why was Alex’s mouth so dry?
Talon shifted as though making himself comfortable. “If the only thing keeping us apart is the guild, I can handle that. Organizations like that are fluid. Nothing lasts forever.”
Alex balked. “What? The guild’s been around for centuries.”
“Bah.” He waved a dismissive hand. When his gaze met Alex’s, he was ensnared by the warmth in those dark depths. “Everything that happened in your dreams was real. Everything I said, I meant. Everything you—everything we both felt there was real.” His eyes went heavy-lidded, and he leaned in, pressing their foreheads together. “You make me feel things I didn’t think were possible,” he whispered. “Don’t throw this away just because they tell you to.”
Everywhere they touched, Alex burned. His body tingled with need, an ache swelling within him as strong as the tide. He tilted his head, succumbing, and sealed their mouths together in a deep, drugging kiss. Talon’s tongue invaded his mouth at once, strong fingers curling around the back of his neck as though to stop him from escaping. His other hand remained on Alex’s hip, gripping firmly. Alex felt as though he needed the grounding touch, like he might fly apart without it.
All too soon, he forced himself to back away. Talon chased his lips with a low, inhuman growl, and a shiver went down Alex’s spine as he let himself be captured. Talon rose, pressing him down onto the bed, and a breathy sound escaped Alex’s mouth as their bodies lined up. It felt far too good.
And in his experience, good things didn’t last.
He pushed Talon away, his lungs seizing with panic. This was bad. This was wrong. He couldn’t let this happen.
“Little bird—” Talon’s protests ground to a halt when he looked at Alex’s face. He’d never seen him look genuinely concerned before. “Alex.” The sound of his name from Talon’s mouth snagged in his mind. “Breathe.”
Air wheezed into his lungs. It wasn’t enough.
“Okay, close your eyes.”
He obeyed, forgetting for a moment that he wasn’t supposed to be trusting the demon like this, and Talon’s weight disappeared. Alex couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or not.
“Picture yourself someplace calm and safe. Somewhere that makes you happy.”
The beach sprung to mind. He imagined himself standing there with Talon beside him, just out of sight, staring at the sunset. The pressure in his chest eased, and he took a deep breath, swearing he could taste the saltwater.
When he blinked his eyes open, he turned his head to look at Talon, propped up on an elbow and gazing down at him warmly.
“I suppose it could be overwhelming to hear that an immortal demon plans to keep you company for the rest of your life whether you like it or not,” he said lightly.
Alex covered his face with both hands. “Don’t say things like that.”
“I’m willing to take things slower, if it would ease your mind.”
Take things slower ? What was this, a relationship? Alex sat up sharply. “Talon.” He stopped, not sure what he could say to sway the demon. Nothing had worked so far.
Talon sat up beside him, smiling easily. “Fine. I’ll go. I’ll give you space. You’ll see things my way soon enough.”
Alex shot him a halfhearted scowl. He was too tired to argue any more. “Why are you so confident?”
“Because I’m old, little bird.” He stood, guiding Alex’s face up and bestowing a fond kiss to his forehead. “I know inevitability when I see it.”
He disappeared before Alex’s eyes, leaving him with uncertainty and a strange longing that he didn’t want to examine too closely.