20. Alex
Chapter 20
Alex
Alex woke, for the first time in his life, with an all-encompassing sense of peace. Talon clung to him, possessive even in sleep, with his legs curled behind Alex’s and his nose pressed into his short hair. His breaths were deep and slow—slower than a human, in fact. His bare chest was a furnace, the too-slow pulse of his heart a reassuring rhythm against Alex’s spine.
Thin strips of morning sunlight lit the floor in front of the window. The blinds kept most of it from coming in, leaving the room in hazy shadow. A perfectly dark den for a perfectly slumbering demon.
Alex smiled, thinking back on last night. The mozgoran was dead. He’d saved that family, and he felt… content. Settled. He’d finally done the one thing he’d always wanted. He’d avenged his family, and he finally felt like he could put that part of him to rest.
Which begged the question: what next? Did he keep fighting the good fight with the paladins? Or was it counterintuitive to work with the paladins while harboring feelings for one of the very things they professed to hate?
There was no denying he had feelings for Talon. Whatever Talon felt for him sounded remarkably like love, something he hadn’t even known a demon could feel, and if he was honest—which he always endeavored to be—he was treading perilously close to the same thing. It was hard not to fall when a beautiful man devoted himself to you and only you.
Talon would do anything for him. That was a heady feeling, and one he was quickly realizing he also felt for the demon. Was it dangerous to feel so consumed by a creature from Hell? It didn’t feel dangerous. It just felt right. Talon never coerced him into doing anything he didn’t want. He’d never tried to get Alex to compromise his morals. And that meant he had some choices to make. Did he stay with the guild, or should he consider doing what Talon wanted and leave them?
The guild would never accept it. He didn’t know what they would do if they found out he’d been working with Talon. If they found he’d also been sleeping with him… nothing good would come of it. Talon’s life would be in danger, and that wasn’t something Alex could risk. He would have to choose between the life he knew and the potential one he could have with Talon. Talon claimed he wanted him all to himself. Did that mean he wanted him forever? Could Alex grow old with an immortal demon by his side? Or would it be too hard, as he aged, to know Talon would have to go on without him?
He vowed to bring it up to Talon later that morning. They had plenty of time before Alex’s mortality became an issue, but it was an inevitability he knew they’d have to deal with eventually. It was better to know where they both stood on the issue now.
He slipped from the bed, casting one last fond smile at the sleeping demon, whose hand remained stretched out as though seeking Alex’s warmth, and crept from the room. He’d promised him breakfast after all, and he could debate morality and the greater good with himself just as well on his way to the coffee shop down the street.
His neck twinged when he pulled a T-shirt over his head, so he went to the bathroom to check on the bite wound. The teeth marks were scabbed, and there was some mild bruising around them. But seeing it—and standing where he’d received it—sent heat coiling in his belly. He touched it lightly, and the mild sparks of pain had him biting his lip, struggling not to focus on the needy swelling of his cock. There would be time for that, but he needed food first.
He left a note for Talon on the kitchen counter should he wake before Alex returned and quietly slipped from the apartment.
The sun was shining cheerfully, mirroring his good mood. The coffee shop wasn’t far, and it was too nice of a day to bother driving. He set off down the sidewalk, a pep to his step. He’d slept later than normal, and for the first time, he was grateful that the guild had suspended him from duty. He could spend two uninterrupted weeks in bed with Talon, and no one would be the wiser.
Or so he thought.
A black SUV squealed to a stop beside him, and familiar faces emerged from the vehicle, cold and determined.
“What—”
They rushed him. Two paladins grabbed his arms. Another threw a cloth bag over his head. He struggled, kicking blindly. A hand clamped down over his nose and mouth. He gasped, and something sweet and sharp hit his lungs. His head swirled, his body sagged, and everything went dark.
Alex woke on his stomach on a lumpy, uncomfortable surface. He blinked his eyes open, groaning, and the sight of bare, gray brick made his stomach drop. The last thing he remembered was the sunlit street, walking happily to get breakfast for him and Talon.
Oh God, Talon. He wouldn’t have any idea what happened to him. The note he left said he was going for breakfast. How long would it take for Talon to realize he wasn’t coming back? What would he do when he realized something was wrong?
He pushed himself into a sitting position. He was on a low cot in what looked like a jail cell. Sitting on the edge of the mattress, he tried not to panic. There were iron bars on his right. He’d seen these cells before, but only from the outside.
He was in the guild’s jail. This was unprecedented. For all his life, these cells had sat empty. At one time, they’d been used to hold possessed humans who needed exorcisms. The bars had been salted and blessed with holy oil. There were a handful of cases in history where paladins who’d broken their oaths were held while they awaited sentencing from the council, but the last case was decades ago. Why was he here now? Why had they grabbed him off the street? Was this about his disobedience with the mozgoran, or did they know about Talon?
He took deep breaths to calm his rabbiting heart. What if they went into his apartment and hurt Talon? What if they killed him? Alex couldn’t imagine his life without him. Panic clawed its way up his throat, and he struggled to keep quiet.
A door squealed open nearby before he could spiral any further. He lurched to his feet, grabbing the bars. They were gritty with old salt under his palms.
Nathan came to a stop in front of his cell, his gray-blue eyes soft with grief. There were shadows beneath them, and a defeated curve to his shoulders. “I’m sorry it’s come to this, Alex.”
“What’s happening? Why am I here?” he croaked.
Nathan straightened, as though preparing himself for something. “You can walk under your own power, or I can handcuff you. What’ll it be?”
Alex gaped. “Handcuff me? For what? Why am I here?”
Nathan shook his head. “That’s not a conversation we’re permitted to have here. As your captain, I’ve been instructed to bring you before the council.”
“The council?” Alex repeated faintly. “Why? Please just tell me why. I don’t understand what’s happening .”
Nathan sighed, bowing his head. When he met Alex’s eyes again, he wordlessly raised a finger to his own neck and tapped it. Alex reached up, his fingers finding the oval bite wound on his shoulder. His knees threatened to buckle.
They knew about Talon.
“You can’t escape what comes next, Alex,” Nathan said kindly. He keyed open the cell door and gestured for Alex to step out.
He was going to be sick. Or faint. Or both. His body shook, useless adrenaline coursing through his veins. How did they know? Had they been watching him? He’d been so focused on getting what he wanted, and so wrapped up in Talon, that he’d barely given the guild any thought at all. Now, both their lives were in danger because of his lapse in judgment. He should’ve covered his tracks better. Would they hunt Talon down? He had to warn him somehow. And what were they going to do with him ? No one had ever been caught with a demon like this, as far as he knew. Would they have him executed for cavorting with a demon? Did they still execute people these days? He didn’t think so, but there were no guidelines for this situation. He wasn’t sure a law even existed for this kind of betrayal.
He couldn’t believe this was happening. This morning he was floating, and somehow he’d found his way into a nightmare he couldn’t wake from.
The meeting chamber of the council was located in the administrative building. Frederic, a paladin, was waiting outside the double doors for them. Disdainful eyes tracked his steps down the hallway toward them.
“Are they ready?” Nathan asked Frederic.
“They are.” He knocked, and a voice from within called for them to enter. “The council will see you now.”
The council sat together at a long, raised bench, not unlike judges in a courtroom. They were the highest authority figures in the guild. Commander Sloan sat in the middle. Doctor Maxwell was beside him. Principal Barker was beside Maxwell, with Father Hawley and Diviner Rousseau on Sloan’s other side. A handful of witnesses from each division lined the room, standing at parade rest. Alex spied Ira, who shot him a quick wince. Nathan escorted him into the middle of the room, their steps seeming thunderous in the silence of the grand room.
“I present before the council for judgment, Paladin Alexander Hawk,” Nathan said deferentially, inclining his head toward the council.
Alex wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans, his throat clicking dryly. They were looking at him in disgust .
“Read for us the charges, Doctor Maxwell,” Sloan said, steepling his hands in front of him.
Doctor Maxwell, a dark-skinned man with short, white hair, lifted a sheet of paper and read through a pair of delicate reading glasses. “Two counts of disobeying direct orders, one count of vigilantism, and one count of…” He paused, glancing over the paper at Alex and then down again, “fraternizing with demonic entities.”
One. It was one entity , Alex thought mulishly.
“What have you to say for yourself?” Christina Rousseau asked, looking down her hawk-like nose at him.
Alex took a breath to speak, but he had no idea what to say.
“I think these charges speak for themselves, don’t you?” Sloan interrupted. “You were told to stand down and let another squad handle the demon. You refused. You were put on suspension for two weeks and ordered again to stand down. You refused. Not only that, but I had someone posted outside your building to make sure you didn’t do anything stupid. And do you know what they saw?”
“You had someone watching my apartment?” Alex asked furiously.
“For your own protection,” Sloan said. “So you would have backup if you tried to do something like go after the demon alone or go back to that club for information. But instead they saw this.”
He clicked a button on a small remote, and the projector behind the bench lit up.
It was a photograph of him and Talon in the parking lot of his apartment last night, right after they’d returned from killing the mozgoran. They were locked together in a passionate kiss beside Talon’s sleek sports car. From this angle, Alex could see the possessive way Talon’s fingers curled tightly into the back of his shirt.
Sloan clicked a button, and another photo appeared. In this one, Talon was biting him, pulling his shirt aside harshly. Alex’s back was bowed, his head hanging back in abandon. Talon’s arms seemed to be the only thing holding him upright—and one of his hands was obviously palming Alex’s ass.
Those were good pictures. Heat pooled in his gut, and he dropped his gaze quickly, certain that wasn’t the reaction they were hoping for.
“He helped me,” he said softly.
“Alex,” Nathan warned.
“What was that, Hawk?” Sloan asked.
“I said he helped me!” Alex said again. “This guild promised me years ago that I could hunt down the thing that killed my family, and when it finally resurfaced, I was told to let it go. Well I couldn’t do that, and it wasn’t fair for you to ask that of me. So yes, I went to In Extremis. I met a demon there who agreed to do what you wouldn’t—help me find and kill it. That demon helped me track down the monster that made me an orphan. We killed it last night. Those pictures you have there? That’s gratitude—for a man who showed me more respect and kindness than anyone in this guild ever has.”
The council exploded. Someone was screaming about how ungrateful he was. Someone else was calling him an abomination. Maxwell was the calmest one, but even he was saying something to Alex with his hands out in earnest confusion, gesturing to the photo behind him.
Sloan slammed his hands down on the bench and stood. “Enough! I’ve heard all I need to know.” The rest of the council went quiet, and Alex braced himself. “Alexander Hawk, you have broken your oath to protect the innocent by letting selfish desires for revenge rule your actions. You’ve endangered your soul by fornicating with a demon. You have allowed the darkness to tarnish your heart and are no longer worthy of bearing the insignia of the paladins. If any on the council oppose this judgment, let them speak now.”
Silence reigned. Alex squared his jaw. He would not let them see him shaken.
Sloan nodded, accepting the silence. “You are hereby stripped of your title and your rank. Remove your ring.”
Alex ripped it off so hard he nearly dislocated his own finger, slapping it into Nathan’s palm, who carried it over to Sloan.
“I will allow you to keep your weapons, only because I believe you’ll need them if you continue to associate with that demon, but all other effects belonging to the guild will be returned to us. You are no longer welcome at the guild or permitted within the boundary wall. This banishment is witnessed by all on the council and the representatives present for the hearing,” he gestured to the witnesses standing by the wall, “and effective immediately. May God have mercy on your soul.”
His shoulders hunched. This was the only home he’d ever known. Even if he’d begun considering leaving this morning, it was one thing to leave of his own accord and another to be banished and unable to ever return.
Nathan’s hand blanketed his shoulder. “Come, Alex,” he whispered urgently. “I’ll escort you to the gate.”
He raised his gaze, but instead of glaring at Sloan, he found himself staring at the photo on the wall, remembering how good Talon’s arms felt around his body. He wanted that feeling again. Wanted it right now.
Nathan led him from the room. When they were down the hallway, well out of earshot, he said quietly, “I’m sorry it came to this, Alex. You say the guild’s never done anything for you, but I’ve always liked you. I hope… I hope you’re safe out there. I don’t blame you for wanting to kill the monster that killed your family, but this business with the other one… I just hope you know what you’re doing.”
Guilt slithered through him. That statement was made in anger, and it wasn’t fair for Nathan to be lumped in with everyone else. Nathan had always been kind to him. But saying as much now felt pointless.
“I guess it doesn’t matter now, does it?” Alex said hollowly.
Nathan kept a hand on his shoulder as they strode through the administrative building. Everywhere they turned, people stopped and stared. Even after they made it outside, people walking on the pathways between the buildings gave them a wide berth, gaping at them as they passed. Word had spread quickly about him, it seemed. Even if they didn’t know yet that he’d been banished, they all likely knew he’d been held in the old jail for a while.
The sun was high and unfairly bright. He didn’t have a watch and had no idea where his phone was—it was paid for by the guild, so they’d probably confiscated it—but it looked like early afternoon. He’d been gone for hours. What would Talon be thinking? Would he still be waiting at Alex’s apartment?
The gate opened when they approached it, so he assumed someone had eyes on them.
“Listen,” Nathan said, pulling him to a stop. “Do you still have my number memorized?”
It was one of the first things they’d told him to do when he was placed in Nathan’s squad, as a precautionary measure if he ever got separated from the group and had to call for help.
He nodded dumbly.
“I know they said banished, but if you ever need anything, call me. Officially, I can’t help you, but unofficially, you’re still my friend.”
He wasn’t sure what to do with that information right now, but he was certain there would be time to process it later.
Slow steps carried him through the gate. A part of him didn’t want to turn around and look at what he was leaving behind, but he couldn’t resist. The gate was swinging shut, and Nathan was already walking away, his broad shoulders sagging. The red brick buildings stood tall and imposing, their windows gleaming in the sunlight. He’d grown up there. Learned the truth about the world and all its monsters there. It seemed surreal that he was never allowed to set foot beyond the gate again. As easily as a snap of Sloan’s fingers, everything Alex had was stripped away.
Setting his jaw, he turned away. There was nothing left for him there.
With no phone and no money to pay for a cab, he had no choice but to start walking. While he walked, he had plenty of time to think about how screwed he truly was. His car and phone were guild-issued. He received his paycheck from them. They even provided the laptop he kept at home, as it came with access to their encrypted servers. They would come for all of it, and when he couldn’t pay his bills, he would lose his apartment.
He had nothing. No job, no marketable skills except hunting monsters, no money. The guild had given him everything, and now, suddenly, he found himself orphaned once again.
His only hope now was to find Talon. All he had left was Talon. He didn’t know how he’d figure anything else out, but he was certain it would all seem less daunting when Talon was by his side once more. He needed to find him, and he hoped the paladins hadn’t hurt him.
It was going to be a very long walk back into the city.