Four
I replayed my time riding with Nixon in my head around a million times and when Amy suggested we go to the pool, I jumped at the chance. The thought of running into him being the catalyst for my decision.
I had texted Nixon later that evening after our time at Kiplings. I enjoyed our date. And he had replied.
It wasn’t a date, Jenna. I’d rolled my eyes at the screen. God, he was stubborn.
It was a hot day and Amy wanted to take me swimming. She was worried about my moonlit visits to paddle in the river when I couldn’t swim and was desperate that I should learn. She’d even attempted to convince me to go to the Lakeside Swimming Pool in Swaffham, but I’d explained that I wouldn’t have felt comfortable with so many people watching. The place was usually heaving . Especially in the summer. It had one of those lazy rivers that wrapped around part of the building and went outside.
We had dumped our bags on the embankment near the pool and Amy had just removed her dress. She had her bikini on underneath and it was extremely revealing. I was more of a one-piece girl.
I was just about to remove my clothing when an unwanted distraction set it. Nixon’s past words about me being there reverberated through the following words, “For God’s sake. Amy Taylor-Joy, don’t you ever fucking listen? The truce is over,” a not-so-charming voice said.
I tramped down that swell of nerves, my back must have been stiffer than a flagpole. The voice belonged to Nixon’s brother, Mason and his tone dripped with disbelief and another ingredient I couldn’t identify. Boyd was also there and I specifically kept my gaze on Mason. Adrenaline kicked in through my chest, and I could feel Nixon’s eyes drilling into me. Would he be surprised that I’d ignored his warning, probably?
Mason shouldn’t have been surprised that Amy was there, she spent most of her childhood on their land. And by that, I meant their officially owned bit. Not this section everyone fought over. I remember she used to hide under their last house and send messages back to my brother about what they were up to. Naughty really.
Talking of my sister, she then turned to Mason, her tense body language screaming her annoyance. My sister was a hothead, what could you do?
She took a few steps forward and I shuffled closer to her as nervous knots twisted in my tummy, she was standing there so stiffly, and before she could reply, Mason added, “I suggest you both do one,” he snapped out with a flick of his head toward our house. I noticed he shot a brief glance in the direction of Nixon, almost as if he wanted to gauge his brother’s reaction to our presence and how he had decided to handle it.
Amy glanced briefly to where he’d motioned before turning her head back, and rolling her narrow, bare shoulders. Amy did not make a move to grab her dress and cover herself, “Still barking out orders I see,” she sneered. To protect herself, my sister would always attack first.
Amy wound Mason up by calling him a dog all the time. Her barb hit its mark as he straightened, appearing even taller and he scowled. I saw Nixon roll his eyes and Boyd grinned, jabbing at his brother with his elbow. Mason shot him a bleak look and his face dropped. I wondered where Seth was.
The atmosphere was prickly and unpleasant, like standing on a pine cone in bare feet.
They had stopped in a cluster, a short distance away. It made me think of that game British Bulldog where everyone held hands and members of the opposite team had to break through your arms. If that were the case, there would be no competition against these boys. We’d probably end up breaking our ribs or something.
All the McKenna boys were of a similar height as they stood there, glaring across the section of grass that divided us. At least they were a safe distance away. These lads liked getting in people's faces and didn’t care about the rules on personal space.
They had appeared from a gathering of trees and were on what I would have classed as our side of the river.
Nixon, Mason, and Boyd stood rooted to the spot like they had every right to be there. The tension didn’t leave my body, if anything it increased when I noticed Nixon was still watching me. Was it a total fluke that they were there or had they seen us from their house? I could feel a storm brewing and I didn’t like it. Confrontational situations were not me. Amy however, embraced them wholeheartedly.
They were all handsome in their own way and solidly built. Without even trying, they were an aggressive bunch, but I had never felt afraid of any of them. Not really. Not physically anyway. Amy had said that Mason had threatened to give her a hiding in the past, but that he had never gone through with it. My dad always said that a man who raised a hand against a woman was not a man, and would lower himself beneath her feet if he hurt her. I agreed with him.
Nixon’s interrogative eyes dove into mine, as accurate as laser beams. The message written across his face was easy to read. He wasn’t happy I was there. That softness I had seen in him at the stables was gone. I had been caught on what he thought was his property again and had ignored his warning. Oh dear, I wondered what the consequences would be. I didn’t care if he was cross, I welcomed it.
“Are you deaf? You need to get both your arses out of here,” Mason repeated in a stroppy voice that matched my sisters. I wrinkled my nose, why the heck were they there anyway, they didn’t appear to have any swimming stuff with them.
She wasn’t in the mood to listen, “We could say the same to you, dog boy. This is our side of the river.” Amy shot back, standing her ground. She really was quite feisty. I would love to have been born with that type of fire.
Mason didn’t care for that comment as they all shuffled closer, their body language suggesting some type of attack was imminent.
Mason then delivered Amy one of those bloodthirsty types of smiles I’d seen on his face before.
Even though my heart was hammering in my chest, I came to stand on the other side of my sister, a united front and shielded my eyes from the sun with my hand. I attempted to appear taller. Although I doubt, I added any menace to the scare factor. The three McKenna boys’ side by side were a sight to behold. They were all probably what most men wanted to look like.
My sister stood there in the tiniest pink bikini, not worried in the slightest that she was so scantily dressed in front of three sexual predators. She oozed confidence, on the outside. Inside I knew she had a variety of insecurities. Amy put on the tough girl act to protect herself. She could be quite sensitive. Whereas I was a delicate soul, full stop. I didn’t like arguments or loudness in general, I preferred to surround myself with silence.
I dropped my hand as the sun went behind some clouds. Thank goodness I still had my dress on over my swimsuit. It was one of my favourites. My father had brought it back from a shop in Paris during a conference trip he’d been on. It was pale blue, in a gipsy style and fell off one shoulder. The print was unique and I felt pretty wearing it.
As Mason’s eyes roamed over my sister, I could clearly see he was interested in what he saw. You’d have to be dead not to notice Amy. Any red-blooded male would. She was only seventeen but had filled out in all the right places and had a cracking figure. When I had suggested that Mason probably fancied her, Amy told me firmly that it wasn’t like that between them. I had said this after seeing them head off together at the party. But she’d said that she’d rather swallow bleach than go near Mason in that way. I’d thought that a bit extreme and wasn’t sure I believed her. The way Mason was looking at her now, was not platonic or brotherly either. He tried to hide it, but I could see he was affected by her. At least his libido was.
Nixon who had been strangely silent shot a look between them both before locking eyes with mine again. It was a brief interaction as his phone went off and he turned away to take the call. Showing us his broad back, moving towards the trees where they had materialised from.
Mason glanced briefly toward Nixon with a frown. I wondered who was calling him. Maybe it was a girl? The thought sent a jet of jealousy through me.
“Fuck me Amy, I didn’t realise you have tits now,” Boyd McKenna put in crudely before Mason elbowed him in the ribs. That was interesting, the look that flashed in Mason’s eyes suggested he hadn’t cared for his brother’s observation. I didn’t like Boyd; he was too much of a lad’s lad. Always pranking people and making jokes. He was also quite lazy. He and Amy were the same age and hated each other with a vengeance.
I forced a deep breath in, and my eyes roamed over Nixon’s broad shoulders, they were tense and I wondered if it was bad news. Maybe something to do with his father? I hoped he wasn’t hurting, it made me want to fold my arms around him.
“You’re such a pig, Boyd,” Amy snapped, crossing her arms over her chest.
He totally ignored her exasperated outburst. It appeared he also had a thick hide, “Suck my dick,” Boyd shot back with a sneer.
“She’d probably freeze your dick off before you got anywhere near her Boyd,” Mason snorted.
Amy sighed dramatically, “I can’t imagine there’s much to brag about in that department so I wouldn’t draw our attention to it.” My sister was all over the snappy comebacks. I would never have been quick enough to think of something like that. I saw Mason attempt to hide his smile as he placed a hand over his mouth and scratched an imaginary itch.
Amy’s cutting comment worked as Boyd then turned his attention toward me. My spirits dipped. I had no idea how to speak to someone who had absolutely no filter.
“And what about you Angel? I take it you do speak?” Boyd cut in again. His brother shot him what I took as a warning look. I suddenly felt like a fish on a hook.
Amy dropped her arms to her sides and felt for my hand, “Not to morons,” my sister said, covering for me. I shot her a smile of thanks. What I knew about verbally sparring with boys could have been written on a napkin. She pulled me closer to her side and then released my hand. It was a protective gesture, she did it all the time. Whenever we were out and a boy became interested, they had to get past my sister first which was no easy feat.
“You are so punching above your weight with us Boyd,” Amy added, glancing to the side, and giving me a wink.
Amy was a pro at producing insults; she even bested our Mattie who could roast even the toughest and cockiest of characters.
“I wasn’t talking to you. I was speaking to the pretty sister,” he snickered. If Amy was offended, she didn’t show it.
Boyd’s eyes ran over me greedily and it made me feel uncomfortable, “Fuck me but you’re gorgeous. How are you at sucking dick? Probably shit, you have that un-fucked vibe going on.”
“Drop dead Boyd and get the hell off our property,” Amy bit back. Her body was tense, fury now bouncing off her in waves. Our relationship was so backward really, it was like I was the younger sister. Like the roles had always been reversed. I needed to embrace that confident side of myself like I had at the BBQ. And I also needed to start calling her out for borrowing my stuff without asking. I shook off the thought, now was not the time.
“And as usual, that’s where you’re wrong. We own the meadow, the pool and about fifty yards around the river,” Boyd cut out. There was no mistaking the scorn in his tone.
“Says who?” Amy questioned, twisting her head toward him.
Mason, who appeared to have been made temporarily mute by Amy in a bikini, suddenly entered the battleground. “Err, the fucking deeds,” Mason batted back, talking to her like she was stupid. I scrunched my nose, suddenly feeling like I was invisible. There was a definite heat between Amy and Mason and I wondered if she’d noticed. Probably not as she was so fired up. She had one of those hair-trigger tempers. Luckily, she had never directed it at me.
My eyes roamed over Mason’s features. He was watching her with a look of fascination.
I swallowed and turned my back on the group, looking out across the river over at the McKenna house. I suddenly felt exposed and uneasy.
“Ah, don’t turn away sunshine. Why don’t you and me go for a little walk?”
I twisted back again, my eyes on Boyd’s, “No thank you.”
Boyd grinned and dimples appeared on his face. He was very good-looking. As I said, they all were, “Such prim politeness, I like it.”
He folded his huge arms over his chest, “And so, fucking sweet. I’d bet you’d taste that way too.”
“I wouldn’t let Nixon hear you say that Boyd,” Mason said which snatched everyone’s attention.
Amy turned to glance at me with one of her deep, assessing stares. She was so stubborn and determined.
“Let Nixon hear what?” the giant that was the elder McKenna put in, appearing from out of the trees. He had obviously finished his call and approached his brothers whilst pocketing his phone. He looked mildly annoyed with a frost in his eyes.
Nixon’s jaw hardened impatiently. Boyd cleared his throat nervously and Mason shot me a look. I couldn’t read his expression. Kind almost? It forced me to smile back at him and I felt instantly connected to him. Not in a sexual way. Like we were allies for a split second. It felt refreshing.
Nixon’s eyes were on mine and he must have seen the exchange as his lip curled into a sneer and he gave both Amy and me one of those dirty looks people talked about. His gaze held me in a grip so powerful that I could hardly breathe. The masks he wore were so changeable it was hard to keep up.
“Well, share the fucking wealth?” he shot back at his brothers. He wanted to know what we had been discussing. His face was unyielding. This wasn’t the same Nixon who had taken me riding, this was the meaner version. And he appeared to be putting on an even tougher front before his brothers.
I studied Nixon’s face as Amy threw Boyd straight under the bus, “Your pig of a brother was making lewd suggestions to our Jenna. Now that must be a punch-in-the-nuts type of punishment,” she barked out with a chuckle. Boyd shot his brother a wary look.
“Shut the fuck up Amy,” Mason growled and made a move toward us. It appeared Mason was protective of his younger brother. Nixon shot out an arm and blocked him.
“Easy brother . I got this,” The biggest, most intimidating McKenna boomed with his eyes locked on my face.
There was a slight pause as his gaze skated over my body. After he’d looked his fill, he then twisted his head toward the youngest McKenna, “Boyd, go back to the house, Seth can’t find Mitchell’s pills and is having a fucking meltdown.”
Boyd grunted, obviously not happy at being dismissed but he recovered well when he saw I was watching him. After a cheeky wink in my direction, he turned away and sauntered off back to where he had appeared. I was relieved as I found him rude and abrasive. The boy had a tongue that was pure poison.
“I must say, you’re extremely brave standing in front of us with pretty much nothing on, Amy. What’s the actual point? It looks like fucking underwear.”
“Why, like what you see big boy?” she flaunted recklessly.
Nixon gave a snort of distaste, “No thanks, I wouldn’t touch you with someone else’s dick.”
I opened my mouth to defend my sister, I could see she was rattled. When it came to Mason, she was all over that but with Nixon, she was more careful and I suppose she would be, she knew him the least.
“Screw you,” she shot back, her voice slightly cracking which drew Mason’s attention. He looked back and forth between her and Nixon. My eyes narrowed; he didn’t like the way his brother had spoken to her. Interesting.
“I don’t think so. You act so grown up but you’re still a fucking child and about as attractive as someone’s grandmother.”
His barb hit its mark and she turned to look down at me. I could see the hurt in her eyes and I wanted to hug her, either that or scream at Nixon for upsetting her but I did neither of course. Amy outwardly appeared to recover quickly.
“Come on Jenna, let’s go back to the house. We can’t swim with these two perverts here.” She said, in a full-on strop. She then walked away, leaving me alone with Mason and Nixon.
“I’ll grab our shit,” she muttered, walking over to where our bags were. She started to drag her clothing on.
Mason looked slightly uncomfortable before he stretched his arms over his head and flexed his shoulders, he then turned and went over to her, muttering, “fuck this shit,” under his breath.
I looked over to where they were standing. They were just out of earshot and so I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but it looked like he was telling her off. She dragged her sweater over her head and if looks could kill. I turned my attention back to my own nightmare, who was now standing so close to me.
“So,” Nixon said from right in front of me as he stepped in to block my view. I could make out raised voices. They were now obviously having a full-on row. Amy stood before Mason, shouting up at him with her hands on her hips and I was forgotten about.
My eyes came to rest on the glory that was Nixon. He wore faded jeans and a tank top, highlighting his tanned tattooed muscled arms and he looked like anger encapsulated. I felt so tiny under his gaze and severely pathetic. Like a bug, he could squash, but I wasn’t. I was a woman and an attractive one if I listened to what everyone constantly told me. The ‘beauty of the village’ I’d been called. Maybe I should listen to what they said and use it to my advantage. It was difficult as his nearness made it hard for me to concentrate.
Relaxing my face, I dashed a hand across my hair and raised my eyes to Nixon’s, adding a warm smile. A woman’s weapon against an aggressive entity. What had I said, kill it with kindness?
Nixon’s eyes darkened as he stared down his strong nose at me; his expression unreadable now, shadowed .
“So, you’ve decided to ignore my warning?”
I shrugged, the material of my dress sliding further down my arm, exposing one finely boned shoulder. I was so pale and you could see the veins through my skin. Nixon’s gaze danced over that area and I saw that flash of desire in his eyes. He wanted to place his mouth there just as much as I wanted him to. I had a vision of Dracula as he fed on one of his women and something in my stomach stirred.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Nixon sighed noisily. His breath was warm and slightly spicy. The entire scent of him was alluring. He was so masculine, and mature, and of course, he would be at twenty-seven. He was a man and I was a woman, even though he made me feel like a little girl .
I arched an eyebrow, “I don’t care. So, you’ve warned me to stay away, but I know you don’t want that. Not really. You feel something for me Nixon. Ever since that day at the pool. We had a connection and it’s still there.” Nervous knots twisted in my gut. What if he laughed in my face, I’d be mortified.
My words aroused the beast in him and he shot back with a head tilt, “That was before your family torched my fucking house.”
Again, that annoying excuse. Yes, he’d been upset at the time but it was four years ago.
Annoyance crept into my tone, “We didn’t do that and you know it. You’re just looking for an excuse not to be with me because of how I affect you.”
He shot me a cocky look that made me curl my fingers into fists, “And how the fuck do you affect me, Jenna?” If he threw my words back in my face I’d die with embarrassment. To claw in some more confidence, I conjured up that memory of our first kiss and how it had affected both of us.
Drawing in a deep breath, I placed my hands on my hips. I had seen Amy do this when she was in attack mode, “You care about me, I can see it when you look at me.” I was impressed by how confident my voice sounded. Less breathy and more direct.
A sexually suggestive expression tugged at his features, “That’s called hormones sweetheart. That’s the way a guy looks at a girl when he wants to get into her knickers.” I hated that he again tried to cheapen things between us. Typical man.
I grappled with my weakening patience, “I don’t believe you.”
His mouth tightened before he said, “If you want the fucking fairy tale, Jenna, you’ll have to look elsewhere. I’m much too depraved for what you need. I’ve told you. I don’t do romance and flowers and all that sappy shit. Fuck me, I don’t do emotion full stop.”
The army had hardened him but he was lying, he did feel something. It wasn’t just about the attraction/sex thing; it was more than that, I was sure .
Nixon was standing so close to me, that I was struggling to concentrate, “You’re lying. There’s more to it than that. You don’t need to see it as a weakness.”
He snorted and shifted from one foot to the other, “Oh, I feel the opposite of weak around you. I’m a walking hard-on sunshine,” Nixon said, grabbing his crotch. I didn’t glance down or focus on that. His actions proved that he had an utter disregard for courtesy. The same rules that applied to others did not apply to Nixon, clearly.
On an exhale I pointed out, “And now you sound like Boyd.”
Tension entered his frame. He didn’t like that, “ Do I?” he growled in a deep throaty voice before shooting a glance over his shoulder to where Amy and Mason were still arguing. “You appear to know my brothers quite well. What the fuck was that look between you and Mason?” Nixon questioned as he folded his arms across his chest. His shoulders were massive . Big enough to hold the weight of the world on them. Which they did. I wondered again fleetingly what had happened to make him so much harder than before. The army had messed him up, it had to be that. Or maybe a love affair gone wrong, had he been hurt in the past?
“Well?” he prompted rudely. Clearly, he intended to get an answer to his unexpected question. He was watching me with a spark of irritation.
“There, err… wasn’t a look.” Why did I suddenly feel guilty?
“Stop babbling and answer the question and don’t ever lie to me. I saw it. You smiled at him, adoringly ?”
I wrinkled my nose, “So, I’d smile at you more if you were nicer to me,” I blurted, his closeness was doing strange things to my ability to speak.
Nixon slanted me a look of challenge, “So, Mason’s been nice to you, has he? Believe me when I say he probably has an ulterior motive. Mason is about as nice as the fucking clap. ”
A dangerous light flickered in his eyes; I could see he was suggesting something sexual.
“He was just being nice and not in that way,” I replied in a firmer tone before jutting my chin at him, “I’d say he has something going with my sister looking at them.”
“I doubt it, Mason can’t stand the little bitch. He’d rather chew his own dick off. But with you, maybe he wants the whole package.”
“There is nothing between me and Mason.”
His eyebrows rose, “I should hope not, otherwise you’ll be responsible for me having to rearrange my little brother's face.” Menace and danger radiated from him.
The horrible exchange between us was giving me whiplash and I wasn’t enjoying it. His words reeked of a possessive boyfriend and so I couldn’t understand why he was trying to deny he felt anything.
Dashing away my feeling of misery, I shot him a hesitant, told-you-so look and pointed out, “So, you do care about me, otherwise you wouldn’t be acting jealous by me giving attention to one of your brothers.”
That fired him up even more and I immediately wanted to snatch those words back, “You can have all my brother's sunshine, at the same time for all I care, but I’d be the first,” he drawled in that conceited way of his.
“The first?”
His lip curled, “The first to fuck you.”
And BOOM. Something inside me snapped and my hand flew up.
CRACK. I slapped Nixon across the face, hard . His head rocked to the side and he lowered his arms, one hand climbing to move his jaw from side to side, testing the area. Had I hurt him? The thought sent a jet of horror through me.
The fact that I had physically harmed another person thrummed through me, the noise must have alerted Amy and Mason as they were now staring our way with open mouths .
“Go, Jennifer!” Amy belted from behind her hand. Using my full name, something she never did.
Nixon took a minute to recover and as he twisted his head back, his expression was mixed. He was partly angry but I was certain there was a hint of something else in there. Almost like he was mildly proud of me.
My breath snagged in my lungs, “I’m sorry, I didn’t…”
That look then changed to one coloured with retribution, “Someone needs to cool off,” Nixon bit in, getting into my face, and becoming physical, blocking the others out.
I frowned, not understanding his intentions and then real fear jetted into me as he leaned down and swung me up into his arms. A new wave of anger gripped him.
My breath was trapped in my throat. Being literally swept off my feet shocked me as did the heat that coursed through my frame as he held me in those strong arms. My hands automatically gripped his shoulders in fear of being dropped on the grass and my mouth fell open. I attempted to compute what he was about and then I heard Amy yelling .
Nison was taking me toward the deepest part of the pool. The section of the river where it opened out into a large bend.
Panic bled into me and I could hear my sister shouting as my eyes sought her out. I needed her help. Struggling slightly, I could see Mason's arm wrapped around her middle and one hand was over her mouth. She was trying to stop Nixon, he didn’t know. How could he? Her hands were clawing at Mason’s fingers. Mason’s intention was to stop her from involving herself in his brother’s business.
I knew I needed to speak but the words were not forming. I needed to scream. I was small but I usually had the lung capacity of an elephant. He needed to know.
I can’t swim! That revelation was in my head but never made the surface .
Struggling in his arms, I only managed to pant, “Nixon, no, don’t I can’t…”
SPLASH!
Nixon threw me into the pool, my arms flailed wildly in the air. I hit the surface and under I went. The coldness of the water forced my mouth open in a gasp and I swallowed a mouthful of stream which made me gag. My arms and legs flapped wildly to reach the surface and I did, just . I couldn’t see anything but could hear screams and shouts as I went under again, my feet feeling for the bottom but it wasn’t there.
I was going to die, drown in my favourite place. And Nixon was the one to have been the cause of it. A million thoughts orbited my head as I reached the surface again and managed to draw a portion of air before being dragged back down.
As my body started to weaken, two large hands suddenly slid under my arms and I was tugged back against a hard chest. My stomach flipped wildly.
Dragging air into my deprived lungs forced a jet of relief through me. I was safe.
“Jenna, my God, hold still, I’ve got you,” Nixon panted out from behind me, he had me pulled, almost half laid back against his chest, one firm arm under my breasts keeping me afloat.
“I’m so sorry baby, I didn’t know.” I could hear him breathing heavily in my ear. That lancing fear started to fade as I felt the heat from his body sink into my own. Warming me, reassuring me.
My entire head was swimming which was ironic bearing in mind that my body couldn’t. Nixon swam on his back over to the shallower section and pulled me from the water. My favourite dress clung to my skin and the only thought at that moment was how it was ruined. Tears ran down my face, but they had nothing to do with my near-death experience. My best dress from Paris was gone. My priorities were as jumbled as my feelings for Nixon .
Amy and Mason, both ran over, shock on their faces as Nixon carried me out of the water and up the embankment. My body felt numb and I wound my arms around his strong neck.
“Move back, give us some space,” Nixon barked, water dripping from his body.
Mason was also shocked, “What the fuck bro?”
“I said she couldn’t swim!” Amy yelled at Nixon. “I will never fucking forgive you for this. Jenna, are you OK ? Let her go, don’t touch her!”
A chill ran through my body as Nixon laid me gently on the grass. “She’s in shock and you’re not helping, Amy. Mason, take her the fuck home, by force if necessary. I’ll bring Jenna once she’s gotten some of her colour back. Go.”
“ You’re the one who did this to her! If you think I’m leaving her here with you, you’re fucking more insane than I thought.” My sister was like a lioness protecting their cub but her voice was shrill against my head.
My eyes twinged, “Please Amy, I’m fine and please, don’t shout. It was an accident.”
“Accident my…”
“ For fucks sake Amy, move ! Grab you’re shit and let’s go,” Mason raged, dragging my sister back towards the stuff she had dropped. “Do as you’re told for once. Enough with the fucking drama.”
She dragged her arm away and stomped off, shouting back, “If you don’t have her back at ours in ten minutes, I’m going to get Daniel,” she threatened, turning to make her way across the field with an annoyed Mason hot on her heels. Oh dear, if she did get Daniel, things would not go down well. I needed to recover and fast.
As I started to come around more, I noticed Nixon had dived in after me fully dressed. Water was running down his face and his top clung to his sculptured chest. He’d removed his boots .
That look of concern in his eyes almost broke me as well as that other emotion stamped there, flagrant, naked guilt .
He was kneeling by my side and helped me up into a sitting position. He pushed my hair back from my face and ran his hands all over my body, but in a protective way, not sexually. He was checking I was uninjured. I should have been angry at the danger he’d put me in but I wasn’t a grudge bearer. I could see from the way he held himself that he was deeply sorry.
“Did you swallow much water? Or hit anything when you went under?” Nixon questioned with concern, running one strong hand over my head, checking for bumps.
I shook my head, “I swallowed a bit of water,” I coughed. I must have looked like a drowned rat.
“I’m so sorry Jenna. I didn’t know. Please, please forgive me.”
He was horrified, “I know, it was an accident. I should have said when you lifted me up. It’s my fault, I’m sorry I hit you,” I replied, checking his face for a bruise, there was of course nothing.
“For fucks sake, I almost drowned you and you’re apologising for that tap. I hardly felt a thing. I was more shocked, to be honest. And partly impressed.”
“Impressed?”
“Yes, you fought back for a change.”
I smiled
Nixon returned it, but it was half-hearted and his face switched back to a look of annoyance. My goodness, his moods were changeable.
“How the hell do you not swim?” he said, his voice now raised. I pushed to move to my feet and he curled an arm around my elbow to help me.
“I just never learned,” I replied feeling a bit pathetic.
“But that day in the pool. You were in the water,” Nixon pointed out with a deep frown as he now towered over me.
“I know the parts I can stand up. I stay away from the deep bit. ”
This rankled him more and he dashed a frustrated hand down his jaw, closing his eyes for a second before casting me a glare.
“You enter the water when you can’t fucking swim? Are you mental?” Nixon was now shouting at me.
I nodded weakly and glanced down at my dress. Some unshed tears remained behind my eyes and he must have seen them as his annoyance dipped.
“Please don’t cry. It’s just you put yourself at risk by going in there at all. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be upsetting you right now.”
Sniffing, I looked up into his face, “You’re not upsetting me. I’m just sad about my dress.”
Nixon’s eyes flickered down to my clothing, his expression now confused, “I almost kill you and you’re upset about a dress.”
“It’s from La Samaritaine in Paris, my favourite shop. My father brought it back for me.”
There was a moment's silence as he digested my grief.
“I see,” Nixon replied, clearly not really understanding how a dress would be that important.
“Look, I should go. If Daniel appears, things will just get nasty and I don’t want that to happen.”
Nixon’s eyes searched my face and he suddenly looked pained.
“So, you can’t ride and you can’t swim. It seems there’s something else I need to teach you,” he stated, deep in thought. I didn’t really process what he was saying.
“Come on, let’s get you home,” he added.
He then wrapped his hand around mine and walked me across the fields to my house. Even as we made our way through the gates and over the cattle grids, he didn’t let me go. I felt safe and connected to him. We didn’t speak. We just walked and it felt amazing. Like another temporary truce had been set between us .
As we got to the main fence that surrounded our farmhouse, Nixon let go of my hand and I turned to look up at him.
His face was now a mask, giving nothing away. I imagined there wasn’t a soul on the planet who could read this man. He really was dark to my light.
Doing what he did best, Nixon kissed me on the nose and then gave me my instructions, “Go and have a bath, wash the river off and make it a warm one.”
Luckily there was no sign of my sister or an enraged Daniel.
“Yes sir,” I said with a salute.
And Nixon McKenna grinned. An actual smile. It coated my insides with heat.
“You see, we could be friends.” My words were supposed to encourage that friendly atmosphere but his expression twisted.
“I don’t think so, Jenna. Please, just leave it alone.”
His gaze roamed over my face and I saw the sadness in his eyes.
Something had really screwed him up and he needed a soul to torture, like a punching bag, to let out his frustration and pain. Was that what I was?
I stood glued to the spot as he turned and walked away. His broad shoulders flexed with each step.
It didn’t make any difference how mean or indifferent he acted towards me. I was hooked on Nixon McKenna.