Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ever
Despite the chaos around me, I was still grappling with the embarrassment of Jesse’s behavior, replaying the scene in my mind like a broken record. Why had I thought bringing him to the club was a good idea? He had never acted like that before, and it left a bitter taste in my mouth.
Just then, a woman with bold purple hair swung down onto the couch beside me, breaking my spiral of self-doubt.
“My turn,” she said, her voice bright and welcoming.
I blinked at her, confusion evident. “Uh, for what?”
She leaned closer, her smile warm and infectious. “I’m Meg. You don’t know me, but I know you because you were me years ago. I could say how many years ago, but then I’d just feel old, and I’m not ready for that.”
I tilted my head, trying to place her. She pointed across the room to an older biker standing by the pool table, lost in conversation with Wrecker. “He’s mine,” she added proudly.
“Uh, that’s nice,” I offered, my attempts at conversation feeling weak.
Meg chuckled, a sound that felt like sunshine breaking through the clouds.
“God, you are so me, girl. But like me years ago.” She gestured toward Jude, leaning casually against the doorframe, his presence magnetic and somehow reassuring, even from a distance.
“That is Lo many years ago. You are us.” As she patted my leg, a strange warmth spread through me.
“You’re going to be okay, doll. Just let that man love you.
” With that, she stood up and disappeared out the door, leaving me with a blend of confusion and curiosity.
Penny, noticing my bewilderment, flopped down in Meg’s empty spot. “What’s wrong?”
I pointed toward the exit, struggling to make sense of my night. “I don’t really know what just happened. Meg just said I am her, and then…” I shook my head, trying to figure out what she had just said. “I think maybe someone should check on her.”
“Most people are confused after they talk to Meg. It’s part of her charm,” Penny laughed, seemingly unbothered by my turmoil.
“She told me that I was her, and Jude was Bo.”
“Lo,” Penny corrected, her laughter bubbling again. “His name is Lo, though everyone calls him King. He’s the Prez of the Devil’s Knights. Alice met her a few years ago at some car convention, and they’ve kept in touch. Honestly, they’re so much alike that it’s freaky.”
I processed this information, still feeling dizzy.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, genuine concern in her eyes.
“Still embarrassed,” I sighed.
“You are not the one who should be embarrassed. That tool Jesse should be the embarrassed one.”
“Yeah,” I sighed, sinking further into the couch. “But I’m the idiot who brought him here. I swear he never acted like that before. It was just so weird. It was like once we got here, something in him just flipped.”
“Men,” Penny muttered, rolling her eyes. “I know my mom and aunts found good guys, but seriously, I am more than okay with being single for the rest of my life. Adopt a couple of dogs and just go live by the river.”
“In a van?” I joked, wanting to lighten the mood.
“More like an RV so I can just travel around with my dogs,” she replied, her expression serious yet playful.
I watched her, admiration swelling in my chest. “Seriously?”
“Yeah,” she said, a distant look in her eyes. “I love this life, but there has to be more out there, ya know?”
Looking around, I saw a group of people gathered, all sharing stories, laughter, and warmth, and I felt an unexpected pang of envy. Penny should feel lucky to be a part of this, and yet, here I was, lost and confused.
“Penny!” Bell called from across the room. “Come dance with me!”
Penny looked at me, her expression questioning. “You coming? Eden has the hugest crush on the singer Alice hired.”
I shook my head. “I’m good right here.”
“I’ll be just outside if you need me,” she said before hopping up and joining the others, laughter trailing behind her.
I was left alone, the vibrant energy of the club fading as I took a deep breath. My thoughts drifted back to Jude, who remained by the door just a few feet away, his gaze lingering on me. As if sensing my need for connection, he hitched his chin, silently inviting me to follow him outside.
My heart raced at the idea, a mix of excitement and apprehension coursing through me. I had embarrassed myself enough tonight; was I really ready to risk more? But the magnetic pull I felt toward him was undeniable, and with a deep breath, I stepped out into the chilly night air.
The parking lot was dimly lit, the soft glow from the backyard spilling into the night.
I spotted Jude leaning against his motorcycle, a flicker of a lighter illuminating his face as he lit a cigarette.
Everything about him was intoxicating, from the way he held himself to the way the smoke curled around him.
I approached him cautiously, a mix of nervousness and determination guiding my steps. “Cold?” he asked, his voice low and smooth.
“I’m fine,” I replied, wrapping my arms around myself, though the chill in the air was beginning to seep in.
He chuckled, shaking his head lightly. The warmth of his laughter wrapped around me, momentarily easing my tension. We stood in silence for a moment, the world around us fading into the background.
“I’m sorry about Jesse,” I finally said, breaking the stillness.
He looked at me, taking a long drag from his cigarette before letting it out. “I never want to hear you apologize again for that fuckstick.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Shh,” he interrupted, shaking his head. “I’d rather never hear another word about him, too.”
I snapped my mouth shut, swallowing hard.
The intensity of his gaze pierced through me, leaving me momentarily speechless.
As he finished his cigarette and ground it out beneath his boot, he stepped closer, invading my personal space.
I instinctively took a step back, my back bumping into a parked bike.
“Easy, beautiful,” he said, reaching out to steady me, his hands firm on my waist.
I looked up at him, my heart pounding fiercely. “Don’t say that,” I whispered, the vulnerability in my voice surprising even me.
“Say what?”
“Don’t call me beautiful. I know what I am, Jude, and it isn’t that.”
He wrinkled his brow, confusion evident. “Who the fuck made you think you aren’t beautiful?”
“The world,” I replied flatly, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. I tried to pull away, but his grip was unyielding. “Please let me go, Jude. I’ve been embarrassed enough tonight.”
He didn’t release me; instead, he held me firmly. My breath caught in my throat as I struggled to decipher the emotions swirling around us.
“Ever,” he said softly, brushing my hair behind my ear. “You are beautiful.”
A rush of warmth flooded through me, yet doubt still lingered. “You don’t have to say that,” I said, shaking my head.
“I mean it,” he insisted, his voice low and steady. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You deserve to be treated like the incredible woman you are.”
His words washed over me like a balm, soothing my insecurities. But before I could respond, he leaned in, capturing my lips with his.
The kiss was electric, igniting a fire within me I hadn’t known existed. It wasn’t just a kiss; it was a promise, a connection that transcended all the confusion and hurt of the night. I melted against him, feeling every tension dissolve away as I kissed him back, my heart racing wildly.
When we finally broke apart, our foreheads touched, and he murmured, “Holy fuck.”
“Is that good?” I asked, my voice trembling.
He chuckled, pressing his lips against mine again, a teasing brush that sent shivers down my spine. “Way better than good.”
He pulled me flush against his body, wrapping his arms around me tightly.
I felt safe and wanted in a way I had never experienced before.
Confusion swirled within me; this was not at all how I thought my day and night would go.
Jude had kissed me, and my mind was a jumble of thoughts and feelings that I couldn’t quite process. I needed to go home.
“You can stay here tonight,” he finally said.
I leaned back, searching his eyes. “Were you reading my mind?” I asked, a hint of disbelief creeping into my tone.
He chuckled, shaking his head. “Were you thinking about staying here?”
“I was thinking I need to go home,” I replied, feeling a twinge of anxiety.
He shook his head adamantly. “Nah.” He stepped back and threaded his fingers with mine, pulling me toward the clubhouse. “I drank too much, and so has everyone else. I’ll take you home in the morning.”
“No, I can—”
But my protest died on my lips as I realized I didn’t really have anyone to call. I was stuck, and as much as I wanted to resist, there was a part of me that craved the comfort of his presence.
“Stay with me,” he said, looking back at me with a sincerity that took my breath away.
I hesitated, uncertainty gnawing at me. “I don’t want to inconvenience you,” I blurted, but the words felt hollow even as I spoke them.
“Inconvenience is the last word I would ever put together with you,” he replied, the warmth in his tone making my heart flutter.
The sounds of the band and the singer drifted from the backyard, but I couldn’t focus on anything but Jude. “Uh, maybe we should go check out the band. I heard Eden really likes them,” I suggested, trying to shift my thoughts away from the uncertainty.
He stopped and looked at me, his expression curious. “Is that what you want?”
“I’d rather just go to your room,” I said before I could think twice about it.
He didn’t respond, merely turned back toward the clubhouse and pulled me behind him. I followed willingly, my heart racing at the thought of being alone with him.