Chapter 34
34
PIA
This was nuts.
Finally, after an agonizing night of staring at my phone, knowing Mason wasn’t going to text since I said I’d reach out to him, I got out of bed. Took a shower. Ate a banana. Picked up my phone, looked at it, started to text Mason and put it down.
Delaney thought I should march right down to the inn and simply talk to him. We’d gone out last night with Jules, who I liked a lot, and both women agreed it was being in limbo about our relationship that was driving me bonkers. They also thought avoiding Mason was probably not going to solve the problem.
But they didn’t know him like I did. If Mason had answers, he’d have given them to me. He honestly had no idea if he wanted to be a cop or an innkeeper. If he wanted to live in the big city or small-town Cedar Falls. One thing he did know for certain? He wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. So unless I was okay with status quo, or occasional hookups if he did go back, there was nothing much left to do except distance myself.
I’d been down heartbreak road already. It was a tangled, wild mess of a path that I was veering closer toward every day. Did we need to have a conversation? An official breakup? A “you were right, this was a bad idea from the start, let’s go back to being boss/employee” talk? I supposed, yes, and that was what I was avoiding.
I did everything you’re supposed to do when distracting yourself. Cleaned my apartment. Went for a long walk. Spent some time in nature, by the lake. But it all felt so hollow, visions of Mason and me together interfering every step of the way.
Still no text from Mason. As expected.
By the time I realized I’d skipped lunch, my stomach rumbled. I’d grab a hoagie at the deli, a bottle or two of wine from Emilio and go back to my apartment to watch movies about people falling in love. I might be a glutton for punishment, but romantic comedies always seemed to be the ultimate distractor for me.
Opening the door to the wine shop, I was immediately greeted with a smile. Usually Emilio’s cheerful “ Buongiorno ” would be enough to make me smile back. Instead, I was just reminded of my family, the home I’d left, the failed promotion, Mason’s rejection…
I tried to smile back, truly. But it must not have worked. Emilio came around from the counter and grabbed my shoulders as if he were my great-uncle, concern etched in every feature of his face.
“ Signora , where is your smile?”
I tried again. “Here?”
“No, no. That is not a smile.” He looked toward the door. “No boss today?”
That did it. Embarrassingly, tears formed in my eyes. I immediately wiped them away and then laughed, remembering the first time Delaney and I met. Emilio was not much more than a stranger to me, and here I was about to burst into tears because of a guy.
Shameful.
“ La mia povera ragazza ,” he said.
I had no idea what that meant.
“Tell me.” He guided me toward the register and went back to his seat. Thankfully there were no other customers at the moment. “Go on.”
“Mason is more than my boss. And may be going back to the city, back to his job and his real life. Even if he doesn’t…” I shook my head. “I shouldn’t be telling you this.”
“Why not? If not an old man who’s seen all of the good, and bad, life has to offer, who else?”
I laughed. “My mother. My sisters. My friends.”
He waved that away. “They are too close to you. Even if he doesn’t?” Emilio prompted.
“Even if he doesn’t, I’m worried I may have caught feelings for him.” Realizing at Emilio’s confused expression he didn’t understand, I added, “I may have fallen for him.”
The words “fallen in love” refused to come from my lips.
“This is troublesome, no?”
“Very much so. Either way, he’s still my boss. Which is exactly what Mason tried to warn me about. Turns out, he was right.”
“And you are certain he does not feel as you do, signorina ? I am an old man, and my eyes are not as sharp as they once were, but I’ve known Mason my whole life. And I would not presume to speak for him but…”
Emilio didn’t speak for Mason, at least not with words, but his face said it all. Trouble was, it didn’t matter. Even if there were feelings there—and I honestly believed there were, if just a little bit—he wouldn’t allow himself to follow in his father’s footsteps. Which I understood, or tried to. Mason made decisions based on calculation and risk, not emotion. It had kept him alive on probably more than one occasion. He’d opened up about at least one of those times—his Ranger life was something Mason was typically tight-lipped about.
“I am sorry to have burdened you,” I said, meaning it. And then I remembered Mason’s admonition about apologizing. That might work for him, but it didn’t for me. I truly hadn’t meant to make things awkward. Emilio knew Mason, as he’d said, his whole life. “I’m sure it will all be fine.”
Emilio might not have the sharp eyesight he once did, but judging from the way he looked at me, there was nothing lacking in his ability to read a situation. He didn’t believe me, rightly so. Nothing felt fine at the moment.
“The heart cannot be commanded, Pia. Do not judge yourself too harshly for attempting otherwise. My other advice, if you would have it?”
“Of course,” I said, not foolish enough to look a gift horse in the mouth. Emilio had much more life experience than me.
“Talk to him. And when you’ve finished the discussion, talk more. It is the only way, especially for two people still learning to love each other.”
“He doesn’t?—”
“Talk to him,” he interrupted. “ Capice? ”
I had a feeling Emilio wasn’t going to take any other response than my own, “ Capice .”
“You want wine to take to him?”
I hadn’t planned on taking wine to him. Or even seeing him. But one thing Emilio said had penetrated. Avoiding the discussion wasn’t going to solve anything. “Yes, please,” I said, and he scurried away.
Heading to Heritage Hill with the guys there, or at least Parker, not to mention the distraction of an inn full of guests, wasn’t going to cut it. Not for this talk. I pulled out my phone.
Plans tonight?
I was surprised to see text bubbles form immediately.
Nothing I can’t change. What are you thinking?
That sounded so much like Mason that it made me smile, despite everything.
My turn to cook.
He was avoiding me as much as I was avoiding him. Maybe he’d say no. Maybe this was the worst idea on the planet. It felt a little like I was laying the groundwork for my own heartbreak.
Talk to him .
Such simple, but wise, advice. And I hadn’t come to Cedar Falls to hide in a corner, professionally or otherwise.
What time?
Shit. He was coming. I fired off a quick text back just as Emilio reappeared.
“He’s coming for dinner,” I proclaimed proudly.
“ Molto bene .” He handed me a bottle of wine. “On the house. Just be sure to come back and tell me about your dinner.”
It was like having my own grandfather here in Cedar Falls. “ Grazie mille . I will,” I promised.
There was a lot to do between now and when Mason came for dinner, starting with the grocery store and making my apartment presentable.
Talk to him .
Emilio had made it sound so easy, as if everything didn’t ride on this discussion. My job. My heart. My peace of mind. No pressure at all.
With a deep belly breath, I put one foot in front of the other, heading toward the store. If nothing else, it was a start.