Chapter Seventeen
Clove
I lay on my side in the bed, staring at the couch across the room.
Ender was sprawled out on it with one arm slung over his eyes, chest bare, and jeans riding low on his hips. He’d taken the couch every night since I’d been here, never once acting like it was a sacrifice. Just… his place.
Knowing he was there did something to me.
It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t loud. It was subtle and steady, like my nervous system finally exhaled when my brain registered him in the room. Like my body had learned a new rule: Ender close equals safe.
I didn’t question it. It just made sense.
Before all of this, I’d always thought Ender was handsome. That was easy. Safe. He was tall and broad-shouldered, calm in a way that made people gravitate toward him without even realizing why. His presence filled a space without demanding it.
He was off-limits.
I’d told myself that so many times it had become fact.
Now?
Now there was no going back.
Something had changed the moment he wrapped his arms around me on the side of the road. When he whispered that I was safe and I believed him without question. When he stayed without being asked, without being told, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
I didn’t just feel protected by Ender.
I felt chosen.
And that terrified me just as much as it thrilled me.
I wondered if he felt it too.
Or if this was all in my head. If he just saw me as Carnie and Freak’s daughter. Basil’s annoying sister. A girl he’d grown up around. Someone he felt responsible for because he’d been the one to find me.
The thought twisted in my chest.
“You’re thinking so loud you woke me up,” Ender groaned from the couch.
I startled, my heart jumping before I could stop it.
He hadn’t moved much. One arm still over his eyes and his voice rough with sleep.
“How can you hear me thinking?” I asked.
He cracked one eye open. “I just do.”
I frowned. “Then what am I thinking?”
He huffed out a quiet laugh. “Not a damn clue. But I can hear the wheels in your head turning.”
I smiled despite myself. “I’ll try to think quieter.”
“At least wait until after breakfast,” he said.
I laughed softly and lay my head back on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling.
Silence settled between us. Not awkward—comfortable.
“What day is it?” I asked after a moment.
“Hell if I know,” Ender chuckled. “Friday. Maybe Saturday.”
I hummed. “That sounds about right.”
Another pause.
“What’s going on with the guys who took me?” I asked quietly.
His voice changed immediately. Sharper. Certain. “We’re gonna find them. And they’re going to pay.”
I quirked my lips. “What happens if you can’t find them?”
I knew how this worked. Once they realized I was back with the Fallen Lords, those guys would scatter. Hide. Disappear.
“There is no can’t, baby,” he said firmly. “We’re going to find them.”
I sighed.
I knew what that meant. And I was okay with it.
They’d hurt Star. Then they’d hurt me. They didn’t get to keep breathing like nothing happened.
I heard Ender move and turned my head.
He was standing now.
Shirtless. Jeans still on. Barefoot.
Sunlight from the window cut across his chest, highlighting every line of muscle and every scar that told a story I didn’t know yet. He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back, and for a moment, I forgot how to breathe.
He was just… unfairly handsome.
“You got anything you want to do today?” he asked, heading toward the bathroom. He stopped in the doorway and looked back at me. “Earth to Clove.”
I blinked rapidly. “Uh, well, nothing really comes to mind.” I thought for a second. “Dairy Bar?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “You are definitely one of the Fallen Lords girls. You all love that place.” He stepped into the bathroom and closed the door.
And panic slammed into me.
It was stupid. I knew it was stupid. He wasn’t gone. He was literally ten feet away. But my chest tightened anyway, and my breath caught like my body didn’t care about logic.
“You’re being ridiculous, Clove,” I whispered.
I closed my eyes and started counting backward from one hundred.
Ninety-nine.
Ninety-eight.
Ninety-seven.
The door opened when I hit forty-nine.
“Were you counting?” Ender asked.
My eyes snapped open. “Uh, who?”
He raised an eyebrow. “You, baby. Were you counting?”
I pushed up on my elbows. “Counting? Me?”
He leaned against the doorframe, arms folded, and his smirk firmly in place. “Uh-huh.”
I sighed. Might as well tell the truth. “Yeah,” I admitted. “It helps calm me.”
He pushed off the frame immediately. “Calm you? You’re upset right now?”
Oh God. “Not anymore,” I said quickly. Which was true. He was back, and the panic had already faded.
“Clove,” he said, voice firm now. “What the hell is going on?”
“Nothing,” I said, trying to wave it off.
He moved to the side of the bed, looming just enough to make my stomach flip. Even irritated, he was devastating. “What. Is. Going. On?”
I groaned and threw my hand over my face. If I was going to say this out loud, I didn’t want to see his reaction. “You went to the bathroom,” I said quietly. “And I just got… anxious. I was alone in that camper, and—”
The mattress dipped.
Suddenly, Ender was in bed with me.
His arm wrapped around me, pulling me against his chest like it was instinct, like it was the only possible response.
I froze.
Then melted.
This was what I wanted. Him close. Solid. Real.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured. “You’re not alone anymore.”
My throat burned. “I know,” I whispered. “I just… sometimes my body forgets.”
He held me tighter. “Then we’ll remind it.”
I took a shaky breath. “You might have to sing when you leave the room. Maybe that will trick my mind.”
He laughed softly. “You just like my singing.”
I tilted my head back to look at him. For a second, everything else disappeared.
Then he cleared his throat and pulled back just enough to break the moment. “We should probably get dressed and see what’s for breakfast.”
I smiled. “Ice cream later?”
“Absolutely.”
He rolled out of bed and grabbed his clothes, and I watched him like a lovesick fool.
Oh boy.