Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Clove
I sat on the edge of the bed, my hands folded in my lap, watching Ender check his weapons like he’d done a hundred times before.
Like it was just another night.
The metallic click of a magazine sliding into place made my stomach knot.
I opened my mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. I wanted to tell him to stay. I wanted to tell him that this wasn’t worth it, that the club could wait, that these men didn’t deserve his life or his blood or even another second of his time.
But I didn’t.
Because I knew better.
This was the Fallen Lords.
This was how they lived.
You didn’t get to hurt one of theirs and walk away. You didn’t get to take a woman and terrorize her and think there wouldn’t be consequences. You didn’t get to leave scars and expect mercy.
Those three men had sealed their own fate the second they laid hands on me.
Ender adjusted the holster at his side, then reached for his jacket. The movement was smooth. Controlled.
I hated how calm he looked.
“Ender,” I said quietly.
He stopped immediately and turned to me. All that sharp focus softened the second his eyes met mine.
He crossed the room in three long steps and crouched in front of me, his hands coming to rest on my knees.
“Hey,” he said gently. “You okay?”
The question almost broke me.
Okay?
He was leaving, and I wasn’t going with him. And there was a very real chance he could get hurt.
Okay wasn’t even in the same universe as how I felt.
I swallowed hard. “You’re leaving.”
It wasn’t an accusation. Just a fact.
His thumb brushed slow, soothing circles over my knee. “Yeah.”
“And I’m staying.”
“Yes.”
I looked at his chest. “I don’t feel okay,” I admitted.
He nodded once. “I know.”
He reached up and brushed my hair back from my face, tucking it behind my ear with a tenderness that felt unfair given what he was about to do.
“I know I promised I wouldn’t leave you,” he said quietly. “And I meant that. I still mean it. But I need to do this, baby. I have to.”
I closed my eyes for a second and breathed through the tightness in my chest.
I understood.
That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
“I get it,” I said. “I do. I know why you have to go. I just…” My voice wobbled despite my best effort. “I just don’t like it.” I opened my eyes and looked at him. Really looked.
A faint smile touched his mouth. “I don’t like it either.”
This man who’d been part of my life for as long as I could remember. Who’d gone from a boy on a dirt bike to a man with blood on his knuckles and loyalty in his bones.
This man who made me feel safe just by being close.
“Just promise me you won’t be gone too long,” I said.
He chuckled softly, leaning in until his forehead rested against mine. “I’ll be as quick as I can.”
I nodded. I knew he would be.
He slid his arms around me and pulled me into his chest, holding me like he was trying to memorize the feel of me.
I wrapped my arms around him just as tightly.
“I’ll be okay here,” I said, more for him than for myself.
His jaw tightened slightly against my hair. “I know you will be, baby.” He pulled back just enough to look at me. And then he kissed me.
Not soft. Not tentative.
Passionate. Desperate. Like he was pouring everything he couldn’t say into the press of his mouth against mine.
I kissed him back just as hard, my hands gripping his jacket like it was the only thing keeping him tethered to me.
For a split second, panic flared.
I had just gotten him.
Just figured out what we were.
I didn’t think I could handle it if he didn’t come back.
He must have felt it because he broke the kiss and cupped my face, his thumbs brushing under my eyes.
“Hey,” he said firmly. “Look at me.”
I did.
“I’m coming back,” he said. “To you.”
My throat tightened. “Come home to me, Ender.”
His mouth curved into that soft, sure smile that always undid me. “Always,” he promised.
He kissed me one last time. Slower this time, lingering, and then stood.
I watched him grab his keys.
Watched him walk to the door.
Watched him pause, just for a second, like it cost him something to leave.
Then he was gone.
And all I could do was sit on the bed, wrap my arms around myself, and pray that promises meant something tonight.