Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
Lizette
“ S hould I even ask why you look so fucking forlorn?”
I shoot a look of resentment Dante’s way. He’s lounging against the bar upstairs, and I’m washing endless glasses from the night before.
“Do you care?”
The impassive expression is all I need to tell me he doesn’t as he takes a seat and opens his tablet that has a flip out keyboard.
I’ve been here a week, and it’s been excruciating.
I’m lost in this giant new world, even if it starts and ends with the walls of Pandora’s.
He hasn’t told me what he expects me to do. He hasn’t outlined the rest of his rules for work in exchange for protection.
And I know it’s not just this. He told me as much.
It’s excruciating and lonely.
Knight is busy. Reaper keeps his distance when he’s here. I don’t think it’s me because he’s like that with everyone that I can see. Besides, he’s hardly around, which I don’t know if it’s normal or not.
And why should I?
I don’t, when I think about it, know these men, no matter what’s happened with them.
But it doesn’t stop me from thinking, it doesn’t stop me wondering and wanting something intangible.
It’s not intangible.
The thing I want is comfort.
When Dante doesn’t answer, I say, “What else do you get up to?”
“Criminal things, Lizette. Why? Second guessing our arrangement? Thinking you’ll be better off with your mate-to-be?”
His brow lifts as he goes back to the tablet he’s typing on, the little keyboard softly clicking.
“Hardly.” I try to sound heartless, a brazen, hardened criminal, but I just sound pathetic to my ears.
I catch the half smile that flashes on his mouth. “Well, I’ll make sure to come to you next time we pull a heist.”
“And here I thought you worked in kidnappings.”
Now he looks at me, humor dark and sparking in his eyes. “Oh, we do, but only the girls who come to us and get themselves marked. It’s niche.”
I glance down at the fluorescent light under the bar turning the edges of the bubbles blue as I dip two more glasses onto the whirring brushes.
“When are you going to trust me?” I ask.
“It isn’t about trust.”
“Sure. I know you keep Knight from me. And Reaper.”
The words hang, and he just stares at me. Then he starts laughing. “Fuck, you’re a comedian, too. What other secret talents do you have?” Slamming the glasses down, he goes back to whatever he’s doing. “Contrary to what you might think your magic pussy can do, along with my powers to order around the other two alphas in this pack, they’re busy.”
Dante’s definitely the one even his equals bow to. He’s got that edge to him, a dynamic. Hell, I bet if there were a god, even he or she would bow to him.
I’m no god, and I don’t want to do that, even if the urge to bow to him, to obey him like he ordered, beats in my veins. It’s almost overwhelming and it feeds my resentment.
I lick my lips. “But?—”
“I issued you a warning. Gave you a rule. Not them. Knight’s got a lot going on, and Reaper… It’s important.”
“A mission?”
Dante doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to.
One night, Reaper came back, blood on him. His face was thunderous clouds and my heart flipped and squeezed because he looked like he gave away a piece of his soul. Or lost it.
Then again, I’m out of my depths. This is a part of the world I’m not used to.
I just… I want that thing I’ve been missing ever since Dad died. The connection with someone. Deep, without trying to be anything but what it is.
And Knight? I shiver with longing. He’s so sweet, and I want those dreamy, bone melting kisses.
I want it all. Any time I’m near any of them a dull throb starts in me, feeding unwanted filth dipped thoughts to my head. I’m not sure if it’s better or worse than the loneliness or a different version of the same thing.
I grab another two glasses and wash them. And yes, the dull throb is in me now, sending whispering vibrations along my nerves, because Dante, the man I hate, the devil himself, is sitting near.
Because of Dante and his threat. Promise, whatever it was.
He had me so turned on, I spent my entire first shift in a throb of need, an ache from not being fulfilled, not finding release.
Similar to now.
“Did you hear me?”
I dip two glasses into the treated water and down on the whirring brushes, rinsing them in the next sink. “I wasn’t listening.”
“Thinking about fucking someone?”
I press my thighs together. “Why do you care?”
“I don’t.” He shrugs, that wicked darkness dancing in his eyes. “I’m just making sure you’re keeping up your end of the bargain.”
There’s no bargain, he just told me he’d punish me if I came, broke those first set of rules.
I hate him. Loathe him.
“Like I have a choice,” I snap.
His eyes meet mine, sending a shaft of heat through me. “We all have choices, Lizette. I was letting you know we might keep you on the lower floor.”
“Why?” I frown.
“Precautions.” He reaches down and pulls up a bag, handing it to me. “Got you something.”
I wipe my hands on my apron and stare at it.
“It won’t bite.”
“No, something from you is going to be far worse.” But I open it, and almost throw it at him. It’s a vibrator.
“For when I let you come.” He takes the bag, leaving me with the box that announces what’s in it. “Or maybe it’s temptation personified; I haven’t decided.”
The devil gives me a nasty, feral smile that makes my needy insides quiver. Whether I hate him or not, I want him. More and more with every passing minute.
Never in my life could I have imagined wanting three men in different, sexual ways with the same intensity .
I take off my black apron and wrap the toy up in it and put it on the bar.
“What do you say?” he asks.
The words fuck you come to mind, but the insult’s exactly what I want to do to him so I don’t answer. Luckily, I’m saved by the buzz of his phone. He snatches it up and presses the answer icon as he stands.
“Talk,” he says as he walks out of the bar area.
Shit. He’s trouble. The devil’s always trouble. Charming and desirable in ways he shouldn’t be.
To slow down my racing thoughts that like to tie themselves in knots, I think about my situation.
I haven’t left here. Yet. I know they have a place elsewhere, but I’m never left here alone, and there’s even a kitchenette down on the third floor.
They’re here at night and there’s something both thrilling and comforting about one of the alphas or even all three staying in the building until the sun rises.
Reaper told me they’re preparing a place for me at their main residence. But it’s safer here for now.
Safer, I’m guessing, and easier for Dante.
When I finish the glasses, I start to wipe the bar and then the tables.
It’s not until I turn that I realize I was singing because my voice stops.
Dante stands there again, statue still, staring at me. His eyes are wide in disbelief.
“Oh, fuck me,” he breathes. “You sound like an angel. Why didn’t you tell me you could sing like that?”
“You said you knew.” I shrug. “I didn’t think it mattered. Does it? Should I stop?”
“No.”
The ‘no’ sends everything into a flurry. Does he mean it doesn’t matter or that he doesn’t want me to stop singing? His expression is no help. It reminds me of the blankest look of Reaper’s. Except…I think I understand his, the ones I’ve read. But Dante’s?
It’s there to turn me away from whatever he is or isn’t feeling. So, I can’t get a handle on it, and worse, control over my own emotions slips away. It feels as if I’m pinned to the spot, just like I would be with his hand wrapped around my throat, holding me there.
“I’m not that good,” I say, suddenly nervous. “Nothing Grammy worthy.”
He continues to look at me, the pressure of this endless moment rising, and my stomach flips.
Then it ends as Julien appears and catches his attention. “What?
“I need you, Dante.”
He nods, gives me one last look, before crossing to Julien. For a moment, I thought I saw a flash of something, like warmth in his gaze, along with the surprise, but I probably imagined it. And I remind myself not to soften towards him, that I hate him.
I throw myself into work.
I’m about to start setting out candles for tonight when suddenly my senses prick all over. Dante’s there, hovering close and staring at me, a frown on his face. “Go downstairs. Now.”
“But—”
“Now.”
I start for the stairs, disappearing just as voices reach me. He’s talking to someone, and I want to stay, listen.
This isn’t just nosiness. If it’s to do with me in any way, I’d like to know. But I don’t hover. There was something in his face, beneath his bored tone.
Almost like a plea… But that’s fanciful thinking.
Still, I go into my room. It’s not the same one they put me in for when I was in heat. This is bigger, the bedroom nicer, and there’s also a little living room. I stand, at a loss, and decide maybe I could freshen up.
I go to undo my apron, and I freeze.
Oh, good lord, I left it upstairs, wrapped around the vibrator.
I run to the door and pull it open, running into a warm mess of welcoming scents. Lavender, leather, honey, and the heat and strength of a male form wrapped in something snuggly soft.
“Knight,” I whisper, looking up at his smiling face and the caramel curls. “I need to?—”
“You can’t go up there.” He walks me into my room and closes the door, snipping the lock behind him.
My heart beats fast.
“Sit.” He steps away and motions to the sofa, and I get why he’s so damn soft. He’s got a throw, and it’s big.
“What’s going on? Are you…” I have to stop myself.
He looks like a rich college boy with those curls. The soft, welcoming smile’s enough to make me want to run to his arms. Before I met these men, before I went into heat, I hadn’t thought about sex. Now? It’s on my mind all the time. I’m basically a fiend.
“Just stay here.” He puts the blanket down. And a part of me sinks.
“First, Dante bosses me around, now you.” I don’t look at him, even as my fingers itch to touch the super bouncy material of the throw. It’s a pretty deep rose, and?—
I swallow down the tight, hot lump in my throat. Along with the sting of tears that hits the back of my nose.
“Why am I even here? No one wants me except when I’m in heat, and I can’t help that.” I look up at his frowning face. “You want to know why I came here instead of running off?”
“Me? ”
A small laugh breaks free.
“It seemed smart. I-I figured Dad would want me safe.” I look down at the black trousers I’m wearing for my bussing and cleaning. “That’s why I came here.”
“Dang, you mean you didn’t come so you could jump me?”
He’s not playing his Daddy-master role. He’s flirty, funny, and to my horror, I sob.
An ugly sob that makes me drop my head to my hands in shame.
“Hey, Liz?”
I shake my head and utter a squeak, the only sound I can make. Hell, I’m like some sex-starved idiot, lusting after these men, sobbing because…because…because he hasn’t touched me since I got here.
“Liz, please don’t cry.” Knight leans in, mouth brushing my hairline. “Breaks my heart.”
I sob a little louder as I try to get myself under control. “I don’t really cry.” I try to breathe, try and get my shaky voice back in order. “I know you’ll keep me safe, you and Reaper. Dante too. I just wish the loneliness didn’t eat at me.”
He sighs softly and kisses my forehead again, pulling me in against him. I close my eyes.
This is nothing like Dad, nothing like anything I’ve experienced.
To me, it’s a little like the start of something…romantic, the sort of thing I never had and it only makes me ache more.
He likes me. He wants me. I’m not sure if it’s the same thing, but I snuggle in a moment, breathing him in, losing myself.
“Liz?”
I push away. “I’m okay.”
“I didn’t ask you to move. You feel good.”
But I look at him. Those eyes of his are chameleon. Right now, they’re like shadows in the woods, muted green-brown, hazel. But when he kissed me, touched me, bit me, a flash of emerald hits. I remember.
Breathing gets hard again. “But you won’t touch me.”
“I am.”
“No, I mean…” I suck in air. Then I shake my head. “Dante said no…no men.”
“Dante isn’t the boss of me.” He takes back his arm and pushes his hair back. “Fuck, he’s an ass, but there’s more to him. And there’s more to feelings, closeness, than sex. I like you. You. I like the rest, too, but…I marked you. Shit.”
He stands.
“Everything isn’t just sex, no matter how much I want you.”
Then he picks something up and my heart sinks.
“Oh.”
He unwraps the apron. “Oh, indeed. Dante gave it to me, said you left it?”
The tears are gone now. Rage and heat streak through me as I snatch it and throw it.
“No, he gave it to me to taunt me.”
“Taunt?”
I nod. “He told me not to jump any of you.”
Knight looks at the vibrator then back at me. “And he gave you that?” He pauses. “Well.”
That wasn’t what he was going to say.
“He’s horrible.”
“Right now, he’s up there dealing with the Council,” he finally says. “Dante’s a lot of things, but you wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t going to protect you. We all will.”
“The Council found me?” The world shifts.
“The Council are doing their rounds. Why are you so important to them? They don’t usually venture into Unholy Trinity territory.”
“I’m nothing. No one. I should go.” I start looking for my backpack. I spy my case that wasn’t there that morning. “ Dante doesn’t want me here, and…I wouldn’t even mind his nasty little rule. I know he can’t possibly force me to not have any orgasms, not really.”
“I’m not sure. Dante is… Well, he’s insane in a different way than the rest of us.” He comes up, brushes a kiss of such tenderness, a kiss full of promises, across my lips that I almost cry. Again. “He can try.”
Then he lets me go.
“Knight, I…I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Your life is all upside down. Thing is, I’m betting he’s got a fucking hard on for you. And he hates it.”
“He does, but not like that. Not out of want and need and lust that’s based in any real emotion. And Dante hates it and me.”
“But, Liz, he’s out there right now fucking doing something dangerous, risking a full-on sanction on us. They won’t, because I know how to retaliate, but the Council? They’re powerful cowards hiding under the guise of order and civility. Fuck them.”
“You sound like my father.”
“No, I’m Daddy, not a relative. So just hang out, and I’ll get you something to eat.” He kisses me again, making my heart surge, and then he’s gone.
I go and stroke the softness of the throw. A second one, the other I got during heat, and I don’t know where from, but I think now I do. That other one is a dark leaf green.
My heart spins this time and a sweet warmth spreads.
I wrap the throw around me, even though I’m not cold, and it smells both new and like Knight. It smells perfect.
My suitcase catches my gaze, and I cross to it and unzip the top. It’s full of everything I left behind, I suspect, as I pull out the sleeve of a top I left.
Reaper. He must have gone back, packed, brought it here. That makes me get a little warmer. I drag it into the bedroom and leave it near the bed, so I can unpack later. I’m about to leave when a glint of metal catches my eye.
Heart beating fast, I go to the side table.
There, on a black piece of material, is my necklace. From the apartment.
Reaper went in and got it.
I really, really want to cry.