Dmitri
It’s been a week since Dante brought me over and introduced me to the band. Seven days since Eric got thrust back into my life, angry and unapologetic as ever. He hasn’t spoken a word to me since that first practice, except for the bare minimum needed to get through rehearsal.
It’s killing me.
Tonight, we have a small gig at a bar a few towns over. It’s a smaller venue than they normally bother with, but they organized it a few months back as a favor for one of Tai’s friends. Everyone's comfortable enough with me to proceed with the performance.
No one is calling it a trial run out loud, but that’s what it is.
My final test.
Dante called me months ago to scope my interest in joining Falling Absent, but I was torn. I followed their progress closely over the years, and I was aware of their rising success. And of course, I knew Eric was the front man and can't pretend otherwise.
Denial is a bad look on anyone, much less a man on the verge of being obsessed.
When Dante first contacted me, I was damn rusty on the drums. My last band broke up years ago, and I hadn’t touched them since, but it was nothing I couldn’t fix.
The possibility of being in the same room with Eric again had me dedicating hours a day to practice.
I spent every night for two months banging away in my garage to make sure I was at the top of my game.
It was pitiful, really.
Even after everything I did to prepare, every borderline neurotic move I made across this chess board, the band was an obligation I wasn’t sure I had time for. Hell, I’m still not sure I have time for it.
Like everything in my life that ever surrounded Eric, I was full of doubts. Even when I agreed to show up for a practice, my mind wasn’t made up that I was in this for the long haul. I wasn’t sure I could handle being that close to him.
And then he walked in, brooding and beautiful like he’s always been. Every excuse I’d made, every argument I’d had with myself about how unhealthy this is… poof. They flew out the window in a heartbeat, and he was all I could see.
Fucking kismet.
For years, I've tried to pinpoint the cause of the sudden change between us, but I could never come up with an answer. He won’t talk to me and refuses to discuss our past. Most days, he doesn’t even acknowledge my existence, but his presence in the band is what made me decide to stay.
Glutton for punishment, guilty as charged.
All I know is I can’t fucking breathe when he’s around, just like I couldn’t all those years ago.
My focus is awful, because my thoughts are constantly circling back to Eric—replaying our friendship from college and the intensity of the feelings I had for him.
Remembering the searing pain when he shut me out.
Reliving the memory of the knife straight through my heart when I returned to our dorm room to find he’d left without a word.
And now?
I want to know where he is and what he’s doing, and who crosses his mind as he falls asleep at night.
Hell, at this point I want to know what he ate for fucking breakfast, because his flavor of Cheerios is somehow the most interesting thing in the world to me.
I can’t fucking stop thinking about him.
“Sticks?” Theo’s voice breaks through my mental clutter, and I give my head a small shake as I focus on him. “Lost you for a second there.”
“Sorry,” I say with an apologetic smile. “What were you saying?”
“I was just asking if you wanted to carpool to the show tonight. It’s not that far of a drive, but there's no sense in wasting gas if we don’t need to.” His expression is calm and his body language relaxed, but something about Theo makes me uncomfortable.
It's ironic, considering I’m more than a foot taller than him. Hell, he probably weighs less than my left leg, but even still, he tends to invade my personal space and touch me more than what’s considered casual.
His hand drapes over my forearm as he offers me a tentative smile.
Eric’s eyes meet mine from across the room before darting to Theo’s hand plastered to me.
Even from here, I can see the flare of his nostrils and the movement of his tongue behind his lips as he rolls it over his teeth.
Irritation radiates off him in waves, but all he does is stare until he spins and storms in the opposite direction.
I give Theo's hand an awkward pat before pulling away, trying not to be rude. I’ve never been good at rejecting people… unlike Golden Boy over there.
“Thanks for the invite,” I say gently, “but I’m not sure what my plans will be after.”
That’s complete and utter bullshit, because who in their right mind plans anything after a late-night concert?
Crazy people, that’s who.
“A few of us are going to hit the bar after the show,” he presses. “You should come.”
“Oh?” I ask, interest piqued. “Who, uh, who normally tags along?”
Theo gestures around the room at the others getting ready for the night. “Dante and I usually go, but Tai sometimes makes an appearance.”
“Not Eric?” I ask, trying to make my voice as casual as possible.
Theo rolls his eyes. “Please. You’ve apparently known him longer than the rest of us. Have you ever seen him relax and socialize?”
My mind flips to when I was convinced Eric had feelings for me.
The night of the Kappa Sigma party, when we sat outside until the wee hours of the morning in the chilly spring air, talking and laughing.
Back when his guard was down, and he was so open with me it felt like we could talk about anything.
The sudden need to defend him makes my hackles rise, and protective instincts take over. “Yeah, actually, I have.” I lean back, putting distance between us and crossing my arms over my chest.
His hands shoot up in surrender. “Hey, whoa, I didn’t mean anything by it. Eric’s a good guy. It’s just that… in the time I’ve known him, he’s been a bit of a loner. At first, I thought it was because of Chelsea, but—”
“Who the hell is Chelsea?” I demand.
His eyebrows fly up, and I cringe inwardly at my kneejerk reaction. I’m giving myself away, and the way Theo looks at me lets me know I’m doing a shit job of hiding my agitation.
I force myself to take a few deep breaths. I can't fall apart like this.
Not again.
Theo purses his lips, studying me before he slowly says, “His fiancée—”
My stupid heart betrays me again, causing my mouth to move before I can rein it in. “His what? How did I not know… how…” My lips are flapping like a fish out of water as I climb out of my seat, and the self-control that's already hanging by a threadbare rope completely snaps.
Theo calls after me, but his voice fades into the background as my focus narrows on the singular target before me. I have blinders on as my feet carry me faster, every synapse in my brain firing on overdrive.
Eric stands with his back facing me as he works on a checklist. He glances back and forth between it and the stack of equipment, no doubt getting ready to pack his SUV with his portion of the load.
He yelps as I grip the back of his neck, and he tries to jerk away. “What… what the fuck, Dmitri?!”
I rip the clipboard from his hand and fling it to the ground as I steer him toward the door. Silent and seething, I squeeze him harder, refusing to let go as he wriggles in my grasp. Fury rolls through my body, and my hands shake with my sudden anger.
The door crashes against the bricks with a bang, and dust explodes from the impact. The afternoon sun stings my eyes before I whirl on him and shove. He grunts as his back slams into the wall, and a furious sneer contorts his face.
“What is your fucking problem?” he demands.
My hands land on my hips as I turn my face toward the sky.
A scornful, angry laugh rolls from between my lips before I snap every ounce of my attention to him and charge forward.
He’s taken a single step off the wall, but I grip his shoulders and push him again, fingers digging into his muscles as my body quakes.
“You’re engaged?” I finally get out, my voice a full octave lower than usual.
He sputters in surprise. “Fucking what?”
“Answer the question,” I shout, shoving him again and forcing myself closer. “Who the fuck is Chelsea?”
A smug grin washes over his face as he challenges me with his eyes. In the afternoon sun, they shine as green as emeralds, a wildfire of fury behind the facets.
“Why, Dmitri? Are you jealous?”
I push once more, despite there being nowhere for his body to go. “Just answer the question.”
“Fuck you.” He spits the words at me, full of venom, and tries to break free.
I slam the front of my body against his, pinning him against the sun-warmed bricks like a feral animal, and he bares his teeth at me, just as vicious.
“Answer my fucking question, Eric.” My hand slides up his neck, cupping his chin and holding him in place as I lean closer. “Tell me,” I beg.
His pupils dilate as his eyes flicker around my face, and for a second, time stands still with our breath hot against each other’s skin. Indecision wars in Eric’s eyes, but when they harden, I brace for impact.
“Fuck you.” His cheeks redden as his hands meet my chest to shove me back another step.
“Fuck you for coming in here and crashing back into my life after what you did. You don’t get to come in here like a goddamned wrecking ball and demand anything from me!
” He spins around with a violent energy, then storms away.
I'm gasping for breath and rooted in place, desperately watching him go.
His hand sits on the handle as he freezes, and his jaw flexes as he grits his teeth.
When he finally speaks, he doesn't bother to look my direction.
“No, I’m not engaged. Turns out I'm too stuck on someone from my past to offer anything to a relationship.”
Before I can say another word, he charges inside and slams the door behind him.
“Thanks for coming out tonight, everyone. We’re Falling Absent, and you’ve been amazing!”