Chapter 22
Dante
Curious eyes track my every move as the band loads the bus and we pull out onto the road, but my lips stay sealed until Theo and I can speak alone. Whenever I glance in the rearview mirror, his pensive gaze is already fixed on me.
It would be a complete lie to say I’m not terrified, but I couldn’t stand watching that guy make a move on Theo any longer. In that moment, it didn’t matter that Sayid is a peer, or that I was risking shattering a professional relationship. All that mattered was that I finally staked my claim.
Monica called after the show, shouting praises as both our album and two of our singles climbed several slots on the charts. The news boosted the high everyone was already riding, so the bus is full of animated chatter as we head home.
When we’re about an hour outside Charlotte, conversation fades and it gets quiet. I glance in the rearview mirror and find everyone passed out in their seats.
Eric and Dmitri are curled up together, Eric’s head resting on Dmitri’s shoulder with his mouth hanging open. Tai leans against the window with his jacket tucked under his head as a makeshift pillow. At the sight of Theo’s small body nestled on the seat, a smile unconsciously tugs at my lips.
“You’ve got it bad, my friend,” Dmitri whispers. He smiles and leans down to press a kiss to the top of Eric’s blond curls. “I should know.”
“How do you do it?” I ask.
He tilts his head, waiting for me to clarify.
“Go through life without being absolutely terrified that you’ll do something wrong?” I continue, glancing toward Theo’s sleeping form again. “How are you not paralyzed by the fear that you might lose him one day?”
A moment of silence passes as he considers the question. “How long have you been in love with Theo, Dante?”
“As long as I’ve known him,” I joke with a rueful laugh. “Four years.”
“I was in love with Eric for seven years,” Dmitri says quietly, “but we didn’t exchange a single word for six of them.
Do you think I wasn’t scared to death that I was going to lose him all over again?
Even now, there are mornings I wake up with that nagging voice in the back of my mind, convinced it could all be ripped away again. ”
“How do you deal with it?”
He shrugs and presses another kiss to the top of Eric’s head. “I realized I had a choice. Either I could let fear dictate my life, or I could believe him when he said he loved me. I chose the second.” His eyes meet mine in the mirror. “You deserve to be happy, Dante.”
I huff a humorless laugh. “You sound like Theo.”
“Trust him.”
“It’s not him I don’t trust, it’s me… and learning to do that is easier said than done.”
“You’ll learn.” The quiet confidence in his voice makes me want to believe him.
I’m captivated by the way his eyelids flutter closed as he leans more fully against Eric.
They make it look so effortless. As he drifts off to sleep, a small smile curves his lips and he mumbles, “He’s strong enough to make you learn. ”
Everyone is snoozing when we pull into the studio. I sit for a moment, staring at how peaceful they look, then leave the bus running and climb out to unload the equipment on my own, letting my thoughts wander.
“When did you become such a big softie?”
I turn to find Tai standing behind me, eyes heavy with sleep as he stretches, arching his back like a cat. Without a word, he steps in to help me unload.
When the equipment is finally stored and exhaustion has sunk its claws deep, I climb back onto the bus and gently shake Dmitri and Eric awake. “Fuck,” Eric groans, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Let’s get this shit done so we can go get some sleep.”
“Bus is already unloaded,” I whisper.
He shoots me a strange look, then follows my gaze to Theo before understanding softens his expression.
“You looked so peaceful,” I say sheepishly. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
He doesn’t say anything more, only claps me on the shoulder as the two of them climb off the bus and pile into Dmitri’s truck. Tai murmurs a quiet goodnight and drives off, leaving only me and a sleeping Theo.
I twist the keys in the ignition, and the sudden silence rings loud in my ears.
After hanging the keyring inside the studio, I lock up and head back to the bus.
Theo barely stirs as I scoop him from his seat and settle him into the passenger side of my SUV.
As I drive us home, I can’t stop stealing glances at him, wondering if I’m really ready for this.
Wondering if I have what it takes.
We pull into my townhouse, and I take a moment to study his face under the soft glow of the moon.
He whimpers softly and nuzzles into my neck as I gather him into my arms. Once we get inside, I carry him straight to my bedroom and ease him onto the mattress, then slide off his shoes and socks.
As I work his jeans down his legs, he finally stirs and blinks his eyes open.
“Dante?”
I lean over him, brushing his hair back from his forehead. “Shh… I’m just putting you to bed. Go back to sleep.”
“I stink,” he mumbles.
“You smell like a man,” I whisper, pressing a kiss to his temple.
He lets out another quiet grunt. “Don’t wanna be a man… wanna be a cookie.”
“You can smell like a bakery again in the morning. Get some rest.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?” I ask.
He grabs the front of my shirt and tugs me closer. “Who’s going to make sure you rest?”
I lean down and kiss him, cherishing his sleepy smile. “Give me five minutes and I’ll be right beside you.”
“Promise?” he murmurs.
“Cross my heart.”
My five minutes turn into two, because I’m in too much of a rush to return to him. I move quickly through the house, locking the doors and closing the blinds before changing into a fresh pair of boxers. I step back into the room and stare at him there, already half asleep on the gray sheets.
He’s a beautiful, colorful thing against a monochrome canvas.
As I slide in beside him, Theo instinctively gravitates toward me and curls into my bare chest. I hate the brief flicker of insecurity that makes me want to pull away and put on a shirt. Instead, I wrap my arms around him and hold him close as he draws in a deep, contented breath.
“Dante?”
“Hmm?”
His mouth opens in a long, drawn-out yawn before he snuggles back in. “You really smell like a man.”
A surprised laugh escapes me as his lips curve into a sleepy smile. I settle deeper into the pillow as exhaustion washes over me, and drift into a deep, tranquil sleep.