Chapter 30
Theo
A manic grin spreads across my face as I glance around the living room, my whole body trembling with barely contained excitement while I wait for Dante to get home from his errands. He’s been stressed more than usual lately, even if he won’t admit it.
It’s the upcoming interviews that have him wound tight, though I can’t quite put my finger on what exactly he’s afraid of. Stuttering on camera? Too much glare off his bald head? Accidentally telling an interviewer to fuck off mid-sentence?
Actually, that last one feels plausible.
Whatever the reason, nothing I say or do seems to loosen the knot in his shoulders. He’s hell-bent on staying stressed until those damn interviews are behind us. Once they’re done, he’ll finally breathe again, and so will I.
In the meantime, though, his tension has created its own small opening. It’s an opportunity for me to pull him out of his head, and I’ve got the perfect idea.
He texted earlier that he’d be home around five with a surprise. With Dante, that could mean anything: a coffee from my favorite shop, a new miniature to paint that reminds him of me, or—my personal favorite—a slow, filthy blowjob that leaves me boneless.
Right now I’m betting everything on the last one.
If I can make him laugh hard enough to forget his worries for a minute while also giving him the chance to slide that thick cock into my ass… well, we’ll call it a double victory and settle in for one hell of a night.
I’ve nudged the coffee table aside and pushed the couch back far enough to clear a decent patch of floor, and now Horny sits puffed up and majestic in the center of the living room.
During our last tour, we stopped at Dmitri’s family estate for a quick visit.
Tai and I impulse-bought an enormous inflatable unicorn floatie that ended up buried in the back of my closet.
I forgot it existed until I was packing for my extended stay here at Dante’s and found it.
The moment I saw it again, I swear a choir of angels started singing and a beam of golden light hit me square in the face.
Destiny. It had been waiting for exactly this.
I glance out the window just in time to see Dante’s car rounding the corner, so I dart into position.
Ass toward the door, I plant one foot on the floatie’s side so the long, vibrant rainbow tail cascades down the backs of my legs.
Its base is attached to the thick metal buttplug seated snug inside me. I’m prepped and ready for a good time.
Other than my rainbow-striped thigh-high socks, I’m completely naked. My lips are slick with pink gloss, and giddy excitement bubbles through me as the key scrapes into the lock.
“Theo!” Dante shouts.
I glance over my shoulder, my smile nuclear-bright as he shoves the door open with enough force to send it crashing against the wall. He stumbles to a halt, arms loaded with bags from our favorite Chinese restaurant.
But the food isn’t what snags my attention—it’s who stands right behind him.
“No!” I yell as my brother lets out a shriek that could shatter glass.
“Oh, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, Theo!” Sam squeals, eyes glued to the floor while his hands flail like he’s trying to shake off something sticky.
“What the hell is going on?” another voice calls from beyond Sam.
I scramble behind Horny’s massive inflatable head, ducking low to shield my naked body as the nightmare escalates.
My other brother, Devon, cranes his neck for a better look, mischief dancing bright in his eyes the instant they lock on mine.
“For the love of everything holy, don’t look!” Sam screeches, flapping his hands wildly.
“Is that a unicorn?” Devon asks, sounding absolutely delighted.
“I don’t know!” Sam yells back. “All I saw was a tail sticking out of Theo’s naked ass! A fucking tail!”
Dante remains frozen in the doorway, still clutching the takeout bags, while I drag my gaze to his. “You didn’t tell me you were bringing company!” I whine, the words pitching higher as both brothers carry on like the apocalypse has arrived.
“I said I had a surprise…” Dante’s head shakes slowly, as though he’s still trying to process the scene in front of him.
“Last time it was that goddamned blowup doll, and I thought that was funny,” Sam argues. “I thought it was funny, Theo, but now it’s just weird! What other inflatables are there? Why are there so many?!”
I shoot a pleading glare at Dante, tuning out Sam entirely.
“I assumed you meant a sexy surprise! Now both of my brothers have seen… things!” I glance over just in time to catch Devon snapping a photo with his phone.
A parrot-like squawk rips out of me as I duck lower behind Horny. “He has blackmail!”
Dante’s face wavers between horror and amusement, caught in an indecisive tug-of-war that feels extraordinarily rude when I’m seconds away from spontaneous combustion.
“Close the door and let me pretend this never happened,” I whine.
Stoic as always, Dante turns to my brothers. “Do you guys mind waiting outside while we put the living room back together?”
“Hang on,” Devon says, sidestepping Sam and leaning into the doorframe. “Let me just snap another—”
“Devon Michael Wheeler, if you take another picture of me, I will—”
“What, baby brother? Ride your inflatable unicorn over here and whip me with your tail?”
Oh. So that’s the game we’re playing.
I reach back without breaking eye contact and yank the tail free before flinging the fuzzy rainbow straight at him.
Sam lets out a blood-curdling screech and bolts down the front steps, but Devon only cackles harder as the tail lands in front of him. He finally relents, backing onto the stoop so Dante can swing the door shut.
The instant the latch clicks, I stomp across the floor, snatch the discarded tail off the rug, and start swatting Dante with the soft fuzz. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me they were coming!”
His eyes widen as the tail makes soft thwacks against his shirt.
“I told you I was bringing a surprise,” he argues.
“How could I have anticipated this?” He gestures helplessly at the chaos—the displaced furniture, the majestic unicorn still looming in the center of the room, and the pink gloss still shining on my lips.
“Do you even know me?!” He bites his lip, clearly fighting laughter as I continue my assault with the tail. “I am so mad at you!” I hiss. “So mad!”
“Sunshine,” he purrs, closing the distance between us and catching my chin in his hand. “It is so terribly hard to take you seriously while you’re naked and throwing an adorable tantrum.”
My bottom lip juts out as he leans in and kisses me, and the fight drains out of me.
“Make sure Devon deletes the pictures he took.”
“On my honor,” he whispers against my mouth. “Now go put some clothes on, and I’ll reassemble the living room.”
“Did you at least love my surprise?” I ask, suddenly needy for reassurance after my asshole brothers stole the spotlight.
He smiles, dragging his fingertips over my gloss-slick lips before tracing the sharp angles of my cheekbones. “Put the stockings and tail away for later, sweet boy. And make sure you wear that lip gloss when we’re alone again. I want to see a nice shiny ring around my cock when I’m done with you.”
A long, loud groan rumbles out of me as I cling to him. “Can we just leave my brothers locked out there for a few minutes? You know I work at record speeds.”
He throws his head back in a laugh, clearly thinking it’s a joke.
It’s like he doesn’t know me at all.
“Oh, yeah,” I say, deadpan. “I was totally joking. Wasn’t at all serious.”
He only laughs harder, the sound so full of happiness that I finally give up resisting and melt against his chest in a hug.
“Fuck, I love you,” he says through the laughter, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes.
“I guess we need to rescue my brothers,” I mutter, dragging myself away from him and reaching into the drawer for a pair of sweatpants.
His chuckles trail behind him as he heads back into the living room, and I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face when I hear the slow hiss of air leaking from the unicorn. Maybe my plan didn’t backfire so terribly, after all.