Chapter 14
Connor
I wake to blueberries in my nose and warmth cocooning my body. In that fleeting space between sleep and waking, there’s only tranquility. But as my mind clears, last night slams back in.
That profound, gut-wrenching sorrow.
Today is our last full day together.
Long after the movie ended, we laid there wide awake and silent. We didn’t kiss or fool around; we simply clung to each other while our limited hours ticked away. Sleep eventually claimed us both, and we never separated throughout the night.
Even in sleep, I held on like I was scared to lose the connection—like it’s already slipping away. That kind of desperate closeness hit me harder than I expected, because it doesn’t feel fair.
Life hasn’t been easy for me, but I’ve never harbored real anger over it. I never cursed the fates for the hand I’ve been dealt or screamed about how unfair it all was. I never felt like the universe cheated me. Not until this moment.
My lungs fill with a shaky breath as I steal one more minute of the warmth of his body pressed against me. Pins and needles shoot up the arm trapped beneath him. It has long since fallen asleep, but the pain is worth holding him like this.
Now that I’m awake, my mind is turbulent again. The energy inside me craves release, and eventually I heed its demand.
Tai lets out a soft snore as I carefully maneuver my way out of the bed, trying not to wake him while I hurry to pull on my workout clothes.
I soak in the sight of his serene, sleeping face one last time before I slip out the door and stab the elevator button for the lobby.
The now-familiar faces of the staff smile and wave as I rush past, but I ignore their greetings.
I need to channel these emotions far more than I need pleasantries.
Who cares if they think I’m an asshole anyway?
The clank of weights and the whir of treadmills greet me as I walk into the gym, but routine holds no appeal today. The grip of stress is so tight that my body is shaking, and I scan the room in search of an outlet.
The heavy bag hangs dusty and unused in the back corner. It’s smaller than the one I’m used to, and the first punch sends it swinging wildly. My knuckles burn from the friction, though it comes as no surprise that there are no wraps or gloves stocked for guests.
A place like this doesn’t keep a punching bag because serious athletes use it.
They have it because they’re catering to bored rich people looking for a thrill.
Some CEO will wander in once a month, slap at it a few times to feel tough, and then it waits for the next chump who needs an adrenaline rush.
Fuck that.
A rough shout slips free as I slam my fists into the bag.
Curious eyes follow my movements from around the gym, but I pay them no attention as I attack.
Jabs and crosses, high hooks and body punches, but still, there’s no relief.
The sting on my knuckles warns me that I’ll break the skin soon if I’m not careful.
Frustrated, I move to the bench and load the bar with a weight that borders on reckless. I swipe plates from other stations, reveling in the heavy metallic clunk as I stack them on. I only stop when the total is enough to force my muscles—and my brain—to focus on nothing else.
I push myself until my limbs tremble and my body is drenched in sweat, and then I push even harder. Exhaustion finally calls a ceasefire in my mind, and I drop onto the weight bench with my head sagging between my shoulders.
It’s fine.
I will be fine.
My throat is tight as I stop at the coffee shop on my way back up, grabbing our usual coffees and a box of blueberry muffins. By the time I step back into the room, my nerves are firing again.
Tai is wearing nothing but a pair of shorts as he paces the balcony outside.
He’s visibly agitated, his hair swirling wildly in the wind.
Waves crash against the shore below, heavier than they have been all week.
The rain that threatened last night never came, but the thick, dark clouds still hover overhead, ready to break open at any moment.
“Hey,” I say as I approach.
He startles as he turns to me, and he launches himself forward, wrapping his arms around me and tucking his face into my neck. “Hey… fuck, I thought…” He trails off as he pulls back with a cringe. “Oh dear god, you’re sweaty.”
A genuine laugh escapes, a sliver of tension dissipating at his horror-stricken expression. “Sorry,” I chuckle. “Long workout this morning. I brought breakfast.” It feels like a peace offering—both for the face full of sweat and for the awkwardness I’ve caused between us.
“You’re too good to me,” he says with a soft smile, grabbing my hand and squeezing it before we head back inside the room.
We eat in relative silence, and then I excuse myself to shower.
The day has already progressed to late morning, and the time to meet the rest of the wedding party is drawing near.
Tai stands in front of the mirror, running a brush through his long locks.
“Are you keeping your hair down today?” I ask.
“I was going to pull it back.”
I walk over, unable to keep my distance any longer. “Leave it down. I love you like this… wild and free.” My fingers rake through the raven strands, gripping them gently in a loose fist and tilting his head upward.
He licks his lips as he stares at me. “Please?” he whispers.
Our lips meet, and the rest of the world fades. This kiss is slow and sweet, unhurried, as we take our time learning each other again. My hands leave his hair, one wrapping around his waist while the other finds his chin, slanting his mouth so I can kiss him deeper.
We pour everything we can’t say into the kiss, our tongues sliding together in that same lazy, intimate rhythm. I lick into his mouth, mapping and memorizing every detail, from the faint taste of coffee to the sweet, happy hums that vibrate from his throat.
We break apart, and I rest my forehead against his. “We’ve got to head downstairs.”
“I know.” He tugs me back in and kisses me once more. “But I don’t want to go.”
“Me neither, sweetheart, but we have to.”
Heaviness settles deep in my gut at the two-layered conversation we’re having, and it takes every ounce of strength I possess to separate my body from his.
It’s quiet as we finish getting ready. We walk to the small building near the beachfront wedding venue, while distant storms rumble and roll.
Dark clouds billow overhead, but like last night they refuse to break.
We stop just outside the doors — one for the bridesmaids, the other for the groomsmen.
“I’ll see you on the other side,” I say, keeping my voice deliberately light, and then we’re apart again.
Preparations pass in a blur as I dress in my black suit, my mind busy imagining how Tai will look in his soft lilac one.
The thought brings a small smile to my face as I finish getting ready.
The group of groomsmen steps outside, positioning ourselves behind the rows of chairs where a few hundred guests are already seated.
Cho and Andrew have large families and even larger social circles, and I find myself wondering whether Tai’s parents are somewhere in that crowd.
How I would react if they were.
Would I thank them for creating such a beautiful, wonderful human being, or would I want to throw them to the ground for making him believe he is anything less than perfect?
The ceremony itself is lovely, though I have to bite back a smile when my glaring partner approaches. Teri clamps onto my arm with an unexpectedly firm grip as we make our way down the aisle.
Tai is stunning in his lilac suit, slim-fitted to his trim body with a crisp white shirt peeking out beneath the jacket. An ache spreads through my chest when I notice he’s left his hair down. Our eyes meet across the aisle, and the soft smile that flutters over his lips forces me to return it.
Every few minutes, our gazes find each other again, and it takes every ounce of my self-control not to react.
I’m restless, fighting the urge to shift my weight from foot to foot as the priest continues on…
and on… and on. Even with the clouds overhead, the afternoon sun beats down hot against the thick black material of my coat.
Beads of sweat trickle down my spine as I force the neutral smile to stay glued to my face.
I’m still weighing the pros and cons of locking my knees and hoping to faint when the music swells, signaling the end of the ceremony.
Cho and Andrew kiss then they’re introduced as husband and wife.
They walk hand in hand down the aisle with the rest of the bridal party following in rows.
The crowd is led to the reception, and I breathe a deep sigh of relief the moment the air conditioning washes over my overheated skin.
I sense a presence behind me and turn to find Tai approaching with a cautious smile. “You look hot,” he says, then grins wider. “I mean, you look hot… but also like you’re glad to be inside.”
“That was brutal,” I reply with a laugh, leaning lightly against him so our arms barely brush. “Want to grab a bite to eat?”
The required social obligations are finally over, much to my relief.
The newlyweds sit at the front of the room, snacking and chatting with the long line of guests waiting to congratulate them.
My stomach growls loudly as I stare at the buffet, and Tai laughs, placing his hand on the small of my back to guide me toward the line.
“We need to feed you before the hairy Hulk makes an appearance.”
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” I tease as I begin loading my plate. “I’m pretty sure this is a masterclass in wedding debauchery, but I’m fucking hungry.”
He stares at the growing mountain of food with barely suppressed laughter. “There’s plenty of food. I think you’re safe.”