16. Chloe
SIXTEEN
CHLOE
THEN
I’m living the dream. I really am, and every day that I wake up in the same tiny room as my best friend, I can’t help but pinch my arm to see if it’s real.
This isn’t just her room where I’m crashing, or even my room at her house in Ojai; this is our room, our little home.
We’ve been living here for a couple of months and already have decorated the walls with drawings and paintings I’ve done, along with a few photos of us.
Annika is taking an elective photography class, and despite her grouchiness toward it, I think she secretly loves it.
I caught her obsessively editing the photos she had taken in the wee hours.
I spin around in my bed so my comforter will cocoon me in plush warmth.
Even though I love living in San Diego, nothing beats lounging in my bed.
It is my safe place. I can hear Annika clanking around in the shared bathroom as she follows her regimented morning routine.
My mind drifts to Dane, as it usually does these days.
Ever since that day he gave me his number, we’ve been inseparable.
It feels like a whirlwind, but I cannot go a minute without thinking about him.
If I’m not with Annika, the girls from our dorm, or in class, I’m with Dane.
He is so sweet to me and likes all the same things I do.
He is my favorite person to be around, aside from Anni.
Dane remembers little things I’ve told him and will surprise me with them.
Most often, it’s my drink order. He knows hazelnut lattes are my favorite and will bring me one from the café whenever we hang out.
He gives me little gifts, such as mini canvases to paint or flowers he picked on the way to see me.
Never in my life have I been with someone who only wants to see me.
Who wants to be with me completely. He doesn’t want to change me or make me fit into a mold he’s made up; he wants to be with me for who I am.
My favorite thing to do is watch Dane surf at the beach.
I bring my sketchbook and trace out the waves and his surfing.
Drawing movement is something new I’ve been experimenting with.
In my current painting class, I decided my theme will be love.
I’ve been sketching any moment of love I see.
Whether it’s an old couple holding hands, a dad carrying his son on his shoulders, or a dog looking up at its owner while they go for a walk.
Love shows itself in many forms, and I want to capture it all.
And seeing Dane move through the water is a form of love.
I can tell it’s his favorite thing to do.
Before watching him surf, I never really saw him smile.
A smirk here or there, but never a full-on, every-tooth-on-display smile.
When we came to the beach one early morning, his face lit up as he ran into the water.
For a moment, I was envious of the ocean.
“I can’t decide what to wear!” I shriek to Annika, throwing different dress options on my bed. They range from bright florals to subdued checkered prints.
“Wear the blue-and-yellow one.” Annika stands up, grabs the dress from under the pile, and holds it up to me.
It’s a tiered maxi dress with a milkmaid-style top.
It has a pretty blue-and-yellow flower print.
I remember the day I found this at a vintage shop and stepped out of the dressing room wearing it.
Annika’s jaw dropped, and she said she’d buy it for me if I didn’t buy it.
It really puts my chest on full display, and I feel like the hottest girl on the planet when I wear it.
“It’s not too sexy?” I ask, pressing the dress up against me.
Annika rolls her eyes. “You guys have been dating for weeks now and aren’t shy to make out in public. You two were basically humping each other on the couch at that frat party.”
I stop spinning. “Speaking of,” I say, raising my eyebrows. “Reid’s been texting you all the time since, hasn’t he?” I ask her.
“I do not have it in me to talk about Reid right now. I’m overwhelmed by the whole thing. Can we focus on your date right now, and then we can deal with my boy drama tomorrow?”
“Boy drama? If he hurts you, I swear I will crush him!” I say, and Annika laughs.
“I don’t think Reid is capable of hurting my feelings. Tomorrow, I’ll catch you up on everything.”
I am tempted to text Dane right now to cancel so that I can engulf my evening into learning more about Annika and Reid.
Annika had the biggest crush on him in middle school, and they were on the brink of dating until his dad moved them in the middle of the year for his job.
Annika was heartbroken and never really let herself crush on anyone else in the same way.
Reid and her stumbling upon each other at Isaac’s party was so serendipitous.
However, by the sounds of it, Anni is on the verge of self-sabotage, like she is whenever a good thing comes her way.
I wish I could tell her this without her shutting me out.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk right now? I can reschedule with Dane.”
“Chloe, you are crazy! Go out with your boyfriend.”
I roll my eyes. “He’s not my boyfriend. He hasn’t even asked me officially yet.”
“But he always calls you his ‘girl’ and ‘lady.’ Is that not the same thing?”
“Not to me! I want him to ask me like I’ve always dreamed a boy would.”
“You’ve had loads of boyfriends—they never asked you in the way you dreamed they would?”
“No, and I’m very upset about it! These boys want to date me without the strings of commitment. If Dane doesn’t ask me, I’m going to ask him.”
“Atta girl. Now put on this dress so Dane can take it off.”
We are parked in front of the Pacific Ocean, watching the sun set behind the water.
The waves are calm this evening. We’ve had the most romantic night.
My cheeks are sore from smiling so much.
I am afraid I’ve fallen in love with him.
I am actually terrified about it for so many reasons.
The last time I felt like this was with Christian.
I look over to the boy sitting next to me, and instead of looking at the ocean, his eyes are on me.
He’s gazing at me like no boy has ever done before.
He blinks softly, his head angled on the headrest as he gazes at me.
I blush under his watch. I can feel him caressing my body without laying a finger on me.
In this dress, he can see clearly how his attention affects me.
I can’t take the waiting game anymore.
“Hey, is this seat taken?” I ask as I climb onto his lap. He turns to me, showing that big, bright smile—the one he only gives to the ocean. I finally got it. He reaches up and gently brushes the hair out of my face.
“Chloe, I’m wild about you.” He begins kissing a trail on my chest and up to my neck. I close my eyes and lean my head back. His mouth feels warm and soft against mine. My entire body tingles. Just before he kisses my mouth, he pulls back. “Open your eyes,” he says.
I do and look down on him. His eyes are filled with pure lust, as if he could shred my dress with just one glance. Then, with a blink, his expression softens.
“The thought of anyone else with you wrecks me. Be my girlfriend?” he asks, and my heart tumbles.
“There’s no one else for me,” I reply, and then we come together like untamed beasts.
Afterward, he pants against my back. “Chloe, it feels like you’ve taken everything from me.
I have nothing left to offer.” At some point, we moved to the back seat.
The windows are fogged, with handprints as evidence of the past hour’s events.
He grips my waist and turns us around so that he lies back on the seat while I’m draped across him.
We lay there, sweaty and sticky, and I am in heaven.
The whirlwind hasn’t stopped. If anything, I’m in the center of it, swirling around in a daze, and I can only focus on Dane.
And all he can focus on is me. And we are the only two people in the entire world.
This is the feeling I’ve been chasing from romance books I’ve read and rom-com movies I’ve watched.
This is the feeling I pictured love to be like. This is all I’ve ever wanted.