Chapter 14 #3
"I-I-I want, want us, t-t-t," I groan. Damn it.
My usual stutter I can handle, but when those special ones come by, I cannot control them whatsoever.
I remember clear as day the few times it happened at work back in Minneapolis.
"You’re quiet today, Jack," they would say. Little did they know that I couldn’t open my mouth without sounding like a broken record.
She waits, a soft smile on her face, her little hand covered in scars pressing against her mug.
I fold my fist and rest it to my mouth, my elbow resting on my thigh, shutting my eyes for a second.
This kind of stutter can last minutes, hours, or sometimes days.
And then vanish all of a sudden. I always try to rationalize them.
Must be stress or fear or fatigue. Hell if I know.
When I open my eyes and meet hers, there are flames lighting in her pupils.
"Jack?" she murmurs. "Try again. It’s okay," she says, this time nodding, laser-focused on me. A metaphorical slap hits me in the face. Her respect floats in the air. Never thought a young woman, one I didn’t know a few weeks ago, would give me strength to try to get out of an episode.
"I want-want us t-t-to hike," I exhale loudly, knowing she’ll have to fill in the blanks. "Forest, uh, a trail I’ve dis-dis-discovered…want t-t-t-to show-" the you remains silent, so I motion my palm toward her, the little bit of dignity left being carried on her beautiful shoulders. "I’ll bring f-food… Anything you-you want, and…we-we’ll…lunch up there," I tell her, knowing I’ve already packed the bag in my house this morning, the equipment part, because I was too damned excited about it. My last question remains stuck in my throat and so I tilt my head to the side, wondering what she thinks about it. She looks at me, a pink blush on her cheeks, biting her lip as if to contain her excitement. Alaska and I speak the same language. One where we don’t always need to talk to know what the other thinks.
One where there’s far more kindness and respect than judgment.
"Good," I grin, a knot untwisting in my gut. The block of ice coursing through my shoulders melts away and with it, the intense stutter. She doesn’t comment on it, but I notice a corner of her lips lifting knowingly.
"How are you feeling since yesterday? Did you get much sleep?" she asks, frowning her beautiful, wild brows with worry.
"You-you worry about me?" I say, my voice hoarse and raspier than I wanted it to be. The crimson doesn’t wait long before flushing her cheeks, and she nods.
"I do, yes," she boldly admits.
"I slept twelve hours and then I g-g-got to the station this morning and, um, an old lady had brought cinnamon rolls t-t-to the sta-station, said we saved her house. I-I-I don’t know, felt g-good.
Wish I-I could have done more, b-b-but still, I was proud to be, to be a part of the folks who helped," I confess.
"You’re a true local now," Alaska giggles gently.
"Nah, it’s…t-temporary." The thought of going back to the city doesn’t seem so appealing to me anymore.
I never thought I’d think this way, but it’s the truth.
Her smile shivers at the word temporary and I hate it.
I shove the thought away, putting it back once again.
Not now. I can’t think about going back now.
My phone rings and I apologize, having to take it if it’s an emergency.
"Sorry, I-I have to take this." She smiles at me as I stand and go near the window.
"Parkson."
"Captain." The gruff voice of Captain Raines from Minneapolis makes me grind my teeth. It’s never good news when he calls me, even if he does sound chummy.
"Heard you had distinguished yourself this week, good job, son," he congratulates me loudly.
"Thanks, s-sir," I deadpan, waiting for the low blow that always happens with him.
"Well, you keep on with the good work and perhaps I’ll think about getting you back in Minneapolis sooner," he rasps with joy, and all blood drains from my face.
"S-sooner?" I say lower, hoping Alaska won’t hear me.
"What? Found yourself a lady? In a month or two, perhaps. We got lots of work here and could use extra hands," he chatters, not hearing the shift in my tone. The wind gets knocked out of me, and I can’t even find the words.
"I-I, I’ll await your orders," I tell him blankly, like a good officer should, even if the thought of leaving this town makes my insides twist in a way I never thought they would.
"That’s what I wanna hear. Call you back with more news soon, Parkson," he shouts before ending the call.
I look outside. People are coming in and out of the bakery with tools to help, walking down Main Street with smiles on their faces, taking branches off the concrete and all the other things that flew everywhere during the storm.
Lakeside has more to offer than I thought.
A community. A sense of belonging, and most of all…
Alaska. I glance at my girl, her back facing me, her hair falling on her shoulders like a cascade.
As if she felt my gaze on her, she peeks to the side.
"Everything’s okay?" she asks with her sweet voice that I’d love to hear on repeat every day of my life.
"My-my old job. N-n-nothing…nothing serious," I tell her, clenching my jaw. She nods, saunters to me, and then rises on her tiptoes to kiss me in front of the window where anyone could see us. My eyes stay open as I watch her drop a feather-like kiss on me. I hiss in a breath before kissing her back with more force than I should, despair taking over me. Once we break apart, she’s panting, staring at me with her big blue eyes. My heart twists, and I look away.
What am I going to do when it's time to come home?