Chapter 17 #2
“Thank you so much for coming,” she says, barely audible. We make our way to her kitchen, where she grabs a cup of tea. “Do you want one?”
“Sure,” I say mindlessly, focused on her words and the perfect bow of her lips.
Once we’ve both got mugs in hand, she walks out of the kitchen and I follow her, naturally, like any normal couple, until we reach the stairs leading to her bedroom.
My heart skips a bit as I enter the small space.
There isn't much: a bed, a dresser, and an armchair. But she got curtains and pillows and all the stuff my sisters used to like too. Things like candles and peach-colored rugs that make you want to stay in bed all day with a good book. She turns on her night lamp and puts her mug on the night table. Sitting in her bed, she pulls the covers up to her waist. I’m standing there, in my black sweatpants and sweatshirt, holding a freaking pink mug, my height almost touching the ceiling.
I’m an elephant in a china shop. She doesn’t say a word, just pats her side of the bed, inviting me to join, like this is normal, even though my ears are pumping with white noise right now.
“Tell me,” I say, my voice strained in a tone I don’t recognize, as I sit next to her. Our bodies are so close it’s hard to focus.
“I… I was in a foreign place, with mist around me and…you were there,” she explains, folding her knees close to her.
“But I was trying to reach you, and the more I walked toward you, the more you disappeared. It was... It was dark and terrifying, and I was all alone,” she confesses.
This time, I slid under the covers, grabbing her waist and pulling her into my arms, her petite figure fitting so perfectly it hurts.
“It’s over. I’m-I’m here now,” I murmur into her chocolate locks. “You c-called and I came, see? I d-d-didn’t disappear,” I tell her as softly as I can, despite my usual stutter. Alaska doesn’t seem to mind. Sometimes, I wonder if she even hears it. Her hands fold over mine, resting on her belly.
“But you might,” she whispers with a faltering voice.
I pause and take in the fact that yes, theoretically, I might.
At the end of the day, I guess it’s up to me.
I could always lose this promotion. I’ve never envisioned it, since I’ve worked years for it, but perhaps there could be a way to stay here. For us to have a shot.
“P-p-perhaps I could find a way… to stay,” I mutter, holding my heart in my throat, right above the cliff, ready to jump without a parachute.
She squeezes my hands so hard it’s more of a clutch than a hold.
We may not have said it out loud, but Alaska and I are pretty close to what a couple could be.
Could I imagine her with another man? No… I can’t.
Alaska is mine now. And I’m hers too. So what are we going to do about it?
There’s so much I still don’t know about her, and about my own future.
Yet all the pieces of the puzzle are starting to make sense.
Her past, my issues, our lives, and why we were brought together.
Still, some blank spaces remain. Invisible threads of warning telling me I’m missing something. That this is too good to be true.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” she murmurs, and I hear it, tears falling from her cheeks, soaking the pillow.
A little sniff escapes her. Instinct takes over and my arms move up, pulling her into my body like a second skin, holding her the way she needs to be held.
I don’t even know why I came here, other than to be with her, not because I needed to touch her, but simply because I wanted to share the same air.
Some things in life can’t be explained.
Alaska is one of them.
“I—I—I mean it. If…if you want me to…stay.” I take a deep breath, her nape right beneath my lips.
“J-just say the word, Alaska...and I’ll stay.
” A second stretches. My chest tightens, threatening to combust if she pushes me away.
What’s a promotion worth when she’s at stake?
Nothing. It isn’t worth a damn thing. She turns in my arms, fidgeting until she’s fully facing me on her side, our bodies so close and yet desperately too far.
Her blue pools lock with mine and she murmurs, “Stay.” The dim orange light falls on her skin like a morning glow.
“Please, Jack…stay,” she repeats, and all I can do is nod as I register her words.
There’s so much I still don’t know, and I have no idea how I’m going to pull this off with my Captain, but nothing can take me away from her.
Not when she’s asking, no, begging me to stay in Lakeside.
“Then I’ll…” I pause. “I’ll stay,” I promise her, even without knowing the intricacies of it all. Her body relaxes against mine as I fall onto my back and she nestles into my side, my arm above her.
“Can you sleep here tonight?” her little voice asks, and even though I wasn’t sure about it, or about taking a new step in our relationship, there’s no place I’d rather be than with my girl, in her home, keeping her safe from her nightmares.
“Yeah,” I murmur. “What time d-do you have to b-be up?”
“Eight. You?”
“Seven.”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay. There’s no place I’d rather be.
” Losing an hour of sleep to be here with her doesn’t matter.
I’d do it a thousand times over if I had to.
She snuggles next to me, pulling the covers up, and we stay like this all night, close enough that I can count her breaths.
Without thinking about the future, or anything that could ever come between us.
All I want is for her to know that I’m here. That I’ve got her.
“Goodnight,” I whisper, leaving a light kiss on her throat as she drifts into sleep.
Reality can wait for tomorrow.