Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Autumn
I feel Ezra settle to the ground next to me. I'd yell at him, but there isn't anywhere else for him to sit. Besides, yelling at him would mean turning around to face him. And I can't do that. For the first time since my father died, my stupid eyes won't stop leaking.
Dad died, and for a month, I sobbed daily. I cried until there was no moisture left inside of my body to cry. I couldn’t muster another tear. My eyes were drier than dust.
Until now.
We sit in silence, listening to the rain and wind beat the shed outside. Ezra stirs while I pretend to sleep. Still, it’s cold, and while stripping myself of freezing wet clothes helped, my hair is one wet blob I can’t rid myself of. This blanket is too thin. And my dumb teeth won’t stop chattering.
I hear Ezra sit up and lean against the wall—I won’t look though. I can’t. Too many tears.
A sigh falls from his chest. And then, “You should have told me, Autumn.”
I turn just slightly, not enough to look at him. “Oh, yeah?” I say. “What would you have done? ”
“I would have stayed. I would have helped,” he says and a small dam breaks in my chest.
That’s all I ever wanted. Yet it’s the one thing I knew he couldn’t do.
He breathes out, tired and trembling from the cold. “I would have stayed,” he murmurs once more—more to himself than to me.
I lie flat, knowing he can see my face and my dumb watering eyes. I stare at the ceiling and ignore the fact that I’m endlessly leaking. “Which,” I say, my teeth starting up their chatter once more, “is exactly why I didn’t tell you.”
He groans and I blink over at him for the first time since finding my seat. “Will you come over here already? You’re going to chip a tooth chattering away like that.”
My logical brain tells me this is a very bad idea. A dangerous idea. But my heart and body are not in agreement at the moment. I’ll settle their argument later.
I push up on my elbows, then scoot back toward the wall, closer to him. Ezra wraps one arm around me and I lean into his side, embracing the heat from his body. I rest my head on his chest and I don’t push away when he holds me close. It only takes a minute for my teeth to calm their chatter.
He’s cold too, but naturally warmer than me, and with our bodies close, we fight away the chill together. I lie there, pretending it’s another time, another me, for just a moment before drifting off to sleep.
A bright light stabs me in the eyeball. Ouch .
A door creaks open, and while it’s the reason the light is assaulting me, I do my best to ignore it. I am much too warm and much too cozy living another life while drowning in musk and cedarwood to pay it any attention.
Until— “Geez Louise. Will you look at this, Dess? It’s high school all over again.”
High school.
Geez Louise is right.
That cedarwood musk, that soft pillow, that thing keeping me toasty warm and deliciously cozy—all Ezra. I am wrapped around that man like a pregnant woman wraps herself around a body pillow. And until Don said something, I was in my own oblivious heaven, forgetting that I don’t wrap myself around Ezra. Not anymore.
Dang you, Don.
“Is it morning?” stupid Ezra says.
Yep, I’m calling him stupid. I’m charging up all the preservation anger inside of me and turning it to high. Because I am feeling feelings I should not be feeling. But it’s okay. I will just evict that stupidly sexy kiss from my head… and give all those forbidden feelings the facts— he can’t stay .
“Well, that was quick,” Dessie says with a laugh. “Hello, you two.”
Quick ? Nothing was quick. Nothing happened! “The rain,” I mumble, finding my voice and pushing myself up—only to remember I don’t have pants on.
Fan-freaking-tastic.
I scramble to get my blanket back and wrap the thing around me. I have no choice. I can’t ditch it, not while sporting my polka-dotted panties that I won at my cousin Sarah’s bridal shower. I stumble to my feet and wrap that life-saver blanket tighter around myself. That blanket and I are becoming one.
Ezra sits up and yawns but doesn’t stand. He’s in no hurry. He might as well be snug in his bed.
“It was raining. And we were covering. And then— shed .” I manage to get every single word out of my mouth, complete and whole words. So, why is everyone looking at me like they don’t make any sense?
“Shed?” Don says, scratching at his temple.
Dessie lifts one eyebrow. “These yours, honey?” She picks up my inside out skinny jeans from the shed floor.
“Those are hers,” Ezra says.
“They were wet. And cold. And— shed .” My brows pinch. I hold out a hand for my jeans, but they’re still damp. Ooo, see? Proof ! The jeans go limp in my hand. What am I going to do, change in here with Don, Dessie, and Ezra all watching?
No thank you. Wet jeans plus an audience, I don’t think so. Besides, my blanket and I are one—remember?
“I’m not your father or your priest. You don’t have to lie to me, Autumn Pie.” Don gives me a wink—as if he’s on my side.
He’s not.
Because I am not lying.
That’s what happened.
I scoff and squeak. “ Shed —” Okay, I have got to stop saying that word. I swallow down my pride and nudge Ezra with my foot. “Tell them!”
He slowly gets to his feet. “ Meh . She left a few things out.”
“I thought so,” Dessie says.
I clamp my mouth closed and hug my blanket cape around my neck, holding my pants beneath one arm. I charge past Don and Dessie, out into the sunshine. “Nothing happened,” I growl on my way.
“Not exactly nothing,” Ezra says. Man, that guy is annoying.
I throw a glare back his way. “Will you be quiet? You’re so, so… stupid !”
“Autumn, that’s not nice,” Dessie tells me as if I were a child.
But remember? Don isn’t my priest or my father. And neither is Dessie.
“It’s not supposed to be nice! It’s simply true.” I make it outside only to remember that I walked here. Which is followed up with a chilly breeze fluffing my blanket and turning my legs into popsicles—yet another reminder: I don’t have pants on, or much of a shirt.
I cling to my blanket a little tighter and try to remember what I’ve done with my shoes. Or if they’re worth going back in that shed for.