Chapter 5
Autumn
TWO WEEKS LATER
“Okay, pretty girl. Mommy’s about to feed you very soon. We’re home now,” I stated, looking into the mirror that hung over Auburn’s car seat.
Her chubby little cheeks were turning red as she hollered at the top of her lungs. I had gone back to the doctor’s office today, because of some severe cramping that I was experiencing in my abdomen.
Dr. Callaway said that it was normal. Because I was breastfeeding Auburn, it stimulated the release of oxytocin, which caused my uterus to contract.
The pain had gotten so severe, which was why I had gone back to the doctor.
She had recommended acetaminophen and using a heating pad to soothe me and bring comfort.
I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and then at Cozy Fusions to pick up an online order I had placed.
There was an accident on the way that shut down the normal route I took.
I had to turn all the way around and take a much longer route.
With all that, I was twenty minutes behind on my baby’s feeding time.
I jumped out of the car and rushed to her side. Opening the door, I heard October’s door open behind me, but kept my focus trained on Auburn.
“It’s okay, sweet girl. Mommy’s got you now,” I declared, unstrapping her from her seat.
I cradled her to me and saw that her pacifier had fallen into the bottom of her seat. As I reached for her pacifier, she turned her face into my boob, trying to feed.
“I know, munchkin. Any minute, we’ll be in the house, and you can nurse your heart out,” I declared.
“Hey, let me help you with those bags,” October suggested in that deep, gravelly voice.
I looked up to see that October had come to stand behind me.
“Oh, you startled me. Where are you coming from?” I asked and turned around to face him.
“I was coming to take the trash can to the front when I saw you. I heard the princess screaming, so I decided to see if I could help.”
I laughed. “She does have a set of lungs on her.”
“Yeah, she does.”
“Does she disturb you?”
“Nah. I don’t hear her. I’m talking about when she was born. Li’l mama let the world know she was here,” he stated with a teasing chuckle as he moved behind me to look at my baby.
“And she still lets the world know,” I replied and patted Auburn’s back to soothe her.
She didn’t stop crying, but she did quiet down a little once she was in my arms and resting against my shoulder.
“She’s beautiful.”
“Thank you.” I moved out of his way so that he could grab my bags.
I took the opportunity to check him out, not for the first time.
He was six feet, two inches of caramel fineness wrapped in a muscular package.
His arms and neck were covered in tattoos.
I knew that his legs were, too, because he often wore shorts in the summer.
He was a thick zaddy who slightly resembled Shemar Moore.
His face was lightly sprinkled with freckles, and long lashes curled away from chestnut-brown bedroom eyes that were very observant.
A raven-colored beard, mustache, and soul patch surrounded heart-shaped lips.
He wore a heavy gold chain around his neck and onyx earrings in his ears.
Despite the beautiful, gleaming dark hair on his face, there was none on his head. He always wore his head bald, but he kept it covered with a grey, black, blue, or white beanie in the fall and winter, like he did at the moment.
I often noticed him jogging in the mornings or sometimes at the park on the weekends. I wasn’t sure what else he paired with his workout routine, but the man was fine and toned. His ass was just beautiful and made me want to bite it.
“Is she hungry?” October asked and broke me from my scrutiny of his body.
“Uhm, . . . yes. It’s past her feeding time. I was running a little late because I stopped to get something to eat. I hadn’t eaten all day, and I ran into an accident on the way.”
“Hey, why don’t you go eat, and I can feed her if you don’t mind,” he declared and followed me into my house with my bags.
“Uhm, . . . I breastfeed her.”
“Oh. That would be a problem then, huh?” he asked as he scratched his head.
I giggled. “Kind of.”
No one had fed Auburn yet. I planned to pump, and I had bought some bottles, but I hadn’t allowed myself to feed her from the bottle yet. Breastfeeding her was a special time for Auburn and me. It was our time of bonding.
“Well, I can put your groceries away, if you’d like.”
“Sure, you can do that, but you don’t know where my things are situated.”
“I’ll figure it out. I really don’t mind.”
“Sure. I’ll be in the nursery. Just knock when you’re done.”
October nodded and smiled at me as I headed into the nursery to feed Auburn. Prior to turning it into her nursery, it had been my office. It was the place where I worked on my MixTube videos and other business for my channel.
Now, I did those things in my bedroom. My father had moved my desk into my bedroom, and we had transitioned my office into Auburn’s nursery.
I laid Auburn down and prepared to feed her. “It’s okay, sweet mama.” I cooed as she cried. Once I was prepared to feed her, I lifted her into my arms and sat in the rocker with her.
She whimpered a little, but once she was fastened to my breast, she settled in pretty well.
I dragged my finger down the curve of her cheek and kissed the top of her head.
“I love you so much. You’re the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life.
My love for you makes my heart want to explode. ”
A tear fell down my cheek as her little plump jaws moved slowly up and down. Wilson had no idea what he was missing out on, but it was his loss. It hurt my heart that she wouldn’t have her father in her life. I believed every child deserved to have one.
She drifted off to sleep after she finished feeding. A soft knock sounded at the door.
“Come in,” I called after covering myself.
Hesitantly, October peered inside before he walked into the room.
“She’s asleep?” he whispered.
“Yeah.”
“She’s a blessing.”
“I’m thankful for her.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, do you have a support system . . . outside of your family, I mean?” he asked when he sat in the armchair opposite me.
“If you’re asking about her father, then no.”
“I can’t imagine why a man wouldn’t want to be in her life, or any child’s life.”
I told him the story of how I met Wilson up to the day that I learned he was married with a son.
“Is that the day I saw you coming home?”
“Yes.”
“Does he know about her?”
“Yeah,” I replied softly, thinking back to the day I gave in and called Wilson.
“I wasn’t going to tell him, but I knew that wasn’t fair to him or our child.
He called me a few days after the incident, and I ignored his call.
He kept calling and texting his apologies and regrets on my phone.
It wasn’t until I had gone to the doctor and confirmed that I was nine weeks pregnant that I finally gave in and called him. ”
“Baby, I swear that we’re getting a divorce. I don’t love her, and I haven’t for a long time. The only reason that we’re still married is because of my son. Please don’t give up on our love, Mesha. I love you, girl. Just give me another chance, and I swear that I won’t disappoint you.”
“Love doesn’t hurt, Wilson. You hurt me so badly that night, not to mention how you humiliated me. She was on her phone calling me every name in the book, and not once did you take up for me as your girlfriend. In fact, you denied me. Do you not know how badly that hurt?”
“Listen, I know that I wasn’t at my best that night. I was caught off guard by her appearance. Not to mention, she pulled that bullshit by bringing my son down there. That was foul, and I let her know that later.”
“You left with her, Wilson, and left me behind. Not once did you concern yourself with how I would get home or anything. You must still love her.”
“Baby, I don’t. We’ve been going through problems for a while. That’s why I stepped outside of the marriage.”
“You should’ve handled your shit before you involved someone else in it, Wilson.
Did you ever consider my feelings? No! You were involved with me for nine whole months without uttering a single word about a damn wife or son.
How could you? You didn’t even claim your child, Wilson.
That’s how I know you won’t be shit for me.
It shouldn’t have surprised me that you didn’t claim me that night if you hadn’t even told me about your child. ”
“I told you I fucked up. I was just messed up in the head with what was going on.”
“How many other chicks had you taken through your love nest? Was that something you purchased on the side to have affairs?”
“No, baby. You saw that there was never any evidence of another woman there. It’s because you were the only one who had been there.
The only reason I chose to get that place was because we were separated.
I wasn’t even living at home anymore. We had already been talking about a divorce.
Eniya knew that. She just wanted to show her ass. ”
“You denied me, Wilson.”
“I just didn’t want to miss seeing my son. She threatened me with that shit, and that little boy is my whole world.”
“Well, your world just got a little bigger.”
“What’re you talking ’bout, Mesha?”
“I’m pregnant, Wilson. You’re about to have another baby.”
“You’re shitting me.”
“I wouldn’t lie about something like that.”
“Aww, baby. You got me over here tearing up. How far along are you? Do you know what we’re having?”
“I’m nine weeks and not yet.”
“We’ve got to work through things, Mesha. We’re about to be a family.”
“We’ll see.”
“When is your first appointment?”
“In a week and a half.”
“I’m gonna be there. Send me all the details, baby.”
“He didn’t make it for that appointment or the next one. His involvement had been sporadic at best in the beginning, until it had petered out altogether in the last four months. He changed his number, and I haven’t heard hide nor hair from him since.”
“That’s his loss. Have you tried going by his place?”
“I did, but he moved out, and someone else is living there.”
We talked for an hour before October finally said his goodbyes and went home. He told me to call him if I needed anything. Although he put his number in my phone, I doubted that I would need him. I was pleasantly surprised later to discover he figured out where everything belonged in my cabinets.