Chapter 2
Clare
He Still Loves Her
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
How could I have let myself believe for one second that Wes Ward would be interested in me. But for one brief moment, I swore I had seen something other than annoyance in his green eyes.
“Stupid,” I whispered as I picked up a gold plate that said happy anniversary on it.
“I agree.”
Letting out a small cry of surprise, I spun around to see Wes.
He frowned. “What is wrong with you?”
“You scared me.”
“How?” Wes asked. Without waiting for me to reply, he went on. “My parents aren’t going to want all these stupid decorations. They’ll simply want all of us together celebrating their love. I don’t know why we have to have decorations.”
I folded my arms over my chest. “You just don’t want to be here.”
“You’re right. I don’t.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m sorry if shopping for your parents’ anniversary party interfered with your fuck fest.”
“My fuck fest? That would be if I had more than one woman in my bed.”
Snarling my lip up at him, I said, “Gross. Manwhore.”
Wes laughed. “I’ve never had a threesome in my life and don’t plan on it.”
I hated to admit how that made me relieved somehow.
“I think we should keep the decorations simple,” I said as I picked up another gold-colored decoration. “These anniversary decorations look so cheesy.”
“Agreed,” Wes said, holding up a gold plastic champagne glass.
“What is your mom’s favorite color?” I asked as we started to the other side of the store.
“Blue and red.”
“Your dad’s?”
Wes shrugged. “I don’t think he has a favorite color.”
I tapped my chin as we walked down one of the aisles then stopped. “Your mom and dad are all about family, and their anniversary is only a couple weeks before Christmas. So why not make it about family with a Christmas theme? We could do a wall that has photos of them when they were dating, married, with the birth of each of you kids. Then some photos of the four kids throughout the years. The grandbabies as well.”
Wes smiled, clearly liking where I was going.
“We can do a red and white color theme. White plates with red napkins. The centerpiece can be beautiful flowers with white candles and berries used in the decorations.”
“Berries?” Wes asked.
Reaching for his hand, I pulled him toward the exit. “Where are we going?” Wes asked.
“We need to go to Hobby Lobby!”
“What in the hell is Hobby Lobby?”
With a squeal of delight, I said, “Just wait and see!”
Four hours later we were filling the backseat of Wes’s car with bags. “I can’t believe we got all this stuff.”
With a giggle, I said, “I never dreamed you would like Hobby Lobby.”
Wes slid into the driver’s seat of his BMW. “That place was amazing. I got that Christmas tree for my mother at half off! It was like a Christmas paradise!”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m glad you liked it. I haven’t been since I sold my car. I forgot how much I missed that store.”
“That place could be dangerous.”
“That place is dangerous, and the back seat of your car and trunk is proof. I cannot believe you talked that kid into delivering the Christmas tree to your condo.”
Wes chuckled. “Trust me, I am paying him handsomely to deliver it. That’s the only downside of having a smaller car, no room for a ten-foot tree.”
“It will look beautiful in your place though.”
He nodded. “I think so.”
I’ll get with Angie, Harmony, and Rory to plan on getting together to make the decorations.”
“What about me, Finn, and Preston?”
Looking at Wes, I said, “If you think they’ll want to help with it all.”
“I know they will. Plus, Finn and Preston can’t stand to be away from their wives for longer than an hour. It’s sickening.”
Sighing, I said, “What it would be like to be loved like that.”
The feel of Wes’s gaze on me made me look in his direction. “What?”
“Have you ever been in love?”
Laughing, I shook my head. “No. What about you?”
He gripped the steering wheel a bit harder. “Once.”
I quickly remembered last year Wes leaving a club with a woman. Rory had mentioned something about an old girlfriend. I instantly wanted to know who the woman was. “Who was it?”
“We dated through high school and college. I asked her to marry me before I moved to New York, and she turned me down.”
To say I was stunned by his admission was an understatement.
“I’m sorry, Wes.”
He gave a one-shoulder shrug.
“Why did she say no, if you don’t mind talking about it?”
“She wanted a life here in Boston.”
I turned and stared out the front window of his car as he pulled out of the parking lot. “I think if I ever found someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, that one person who was my soul mate, I’d follow them to the ends of the Earth if it meant we would stay together.”
Wes didn’t say anything at first, then asked, “What if it meant leaving behind your dreams?”
It was my turn to shrug. “Dreams can be made anywhere. But love, the kind of love that only comes along once in a lifetime, that kind of love is worth fighting for. Or at least, I think it is. I’ve never experienced it before, but I’ve seen it.”
“You believe in soul mates?”
Smiling, I reached for the locket around my neck. “I do. I’ve seen it firsthand with my own parents. When I was six, I couldn’t sleep one night and snuck out of bed, thinking I could go to the kitchen and get some of the chocolate chip cookies I’d made with my mom earlier that day. When I got to the second landing of the steps, I heard music. It was Elvis Presley’s ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ playing. My father and mother were dancing in the middle of the living room.”
I closed my eyes and smiled at the memory.
“The way my father looked at my mother with so much love. God, I remember you could almost feel it in the air. And she looked at him the same way. They still look at one another the same way to this day.”
Turning to look at Wes, I said, “I made a promise to myself that night that the man I married would have to look at me the way my father looked at my mother. That’s the only kind of love I want.”
He smiled and nodded his head. “That’s my folks too.”
“Your brothers look at Harmony and Rory that way as well. So, I really do believe in it.”
We drove on in silence for a few minutes before Wes spoke again.
“She’s getting married.”
“Who?” I asked.
“Mandy. My ex-girlfriend. That’s why I moved back to Boston.”
Confused, I shook my head slightly. “Wait, your ex-girlfriend, the one person you were in love with, is getting married and that’s why you moved back to Boston? That doesn’t make any sense,” I said with a soft laugh.
“I’m going to stop it.”
My heart dropped. “Wh-what?”
“The wedding. I’m going to stop the wedding.”
I was positive I was staring at him with a shocked expression on my face. I covered my mouth with my hand before letting out a humorless laugh. “Wait. You’re planning on trying to stop Mandy from getting married. How? Why? I mean, why would you do that?”
“I haven’t figured that part out yet, the how. The why part is to show her she’s making a mistake.”
A feeling of sickness rolled through my stomach, and I softly whispered, “You still love her?”
He didn’t look at me as he replied, “I never stopped loving her. She doesn’t want to marry him.”
“What? If she didn’t want to marry him, why in the world is she doing it then, Wes?”
“She’s…confused.”
“Wes, you have to stop and think about this, it’s insane.”
“I have thought about it, Clare!” he shouted.
I quickly turned and stared out the window.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.”
“It’s fine. I just can’t figure out why in the world you would want to do that to her. If she’s happy and moved on, what in the world would possess you to want to interfere with that?”
“She slept with me when she was with him.”
I sucked in a breath. “She cheated on the guy she’s marrying … with you?”
“Yeah, I guess…if that’s how you want to label it.”
“There is no labeling shit, Wes. She cheated on him. And now you think that means she wants you back?”
“She might.”
A rush of anger swept over me. “You stupid, dumbass, male species, idiot. She cheated on him with you and that’s who you label as your soul mate?”
He snapped his head and glared at me. “What did you just call me?”
“You heard me. Why in the world would you want this woman back? She broke your heart, then proceeded to toy with you by sleeping with you when she was in a relationship with another man whom she is planning on marrying. What kind of woman does that?”
“Don’t talk about Mandy like that. You don’t know her at all.”
“No, I don’t. But what I do know is she scratched an itch. She’s getting married and she wanted to see what it would be like sleeping with you again. The fact that she is still getting married—and not to you—should tell you that!”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Clare. You’ve never been in love, so you don’t know.”
I snapped my mouth shut and went back to staring out the window, wishing I had never shared that bit of information with him.
After what felt like forever, I saw the familiar buildings of downtown Boston.
“Um, I don’t know where you live, Clare.”
Clearing my throat I said, “1260 Boylston Street.”
“Near Fenway Park,” he said with a smile.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“Do you have a parking spot we can use to unload all of this?”
“I don’t have a car, remember?”
“Right.”
Luck would have it, though, that there was an open spot right in front of the building. Wes pulled in and parked.
“Looks like it’s our lucky day.”
Without a word I got out of his BMW and shut the door. I made my way to the backseat and started to take out the bags.
I tried to grab all the bags so that I could just walk away and not have to be around Wes any longer than needed. Unfortunately, he was fast and took half of them.
We walked toward the building and Lenard, the doorman, opened the door for us.
“You lucked out, Ms. Monroe, with a parking spot.”
Smiling, I replied, “Lucky us!”
I headed toward the elevator and glanced back at Wes. He was looking all around.
“This place is great. The lobby is killer.”
Hitting the up button with my elbow, I said, “Yeah. It’s a great place.”
“Is there a workout room?”
“There is. A yoga room, a dining hall, workspaces, laundry, a roof terrace, you name it.”
“Nice. I bet the roof terrace has a nice view of Fenway.”
“Yep, it does.”
The elevator opened and we both stepped in. I hit the button for floor fifteen.
“All the way to the top, huh?”
I turned and looked at him with an expression that said I didn’t feel like talking.
Wes sighed. “Listen, I’m really sorry I said that about you not ever being in love. That was a shitty thing to do.”
“It’s true,” I replied as I willed the elevator to go faster.
“That still doesn’t mean what I said wasn’t cruel.”
Turning to face him, I plastered on a fake smile. “I guess we all can’t be fools in love now, can we?”
The elevator dinged and opened the doors. I stormed out with Wes on my heels.
“Why did you emphasize fools?”
I walked to my apartment and dropped the bags onto the floor so that I could dig through my purse for the keys.
“Just leave the bags, I can get it from here.”
Wes didn’t move, and I could feel his eyes on me. Turning, I glared at him. “You know you want to leave, so just leave.”
“Why did you call me a fool?”
Turning to face him, I fought the urge to slap him. “God, you’re so damn annoying. Wes, you’re chasing after a woman who is getting married. She made it clear to you twice she didn’t want you. Now you’re planning on ruining her wedding. If that isn’t the literal definition of a fool, then I don’t know what is.”
He swallowed hard. “You don’t know what it’s like to be in love with someone.”
I pressed my mouth in a tight line and nodded. “Right. Right. We’re back to me not knowing what love is.”
I turned the key and pushed my door open and fought the urge to kick all the bags inside my apartment. Instead, I leaned down and gathered them all up and walked in, ignoring him completely.
It wasn’t a big place, like the fancy ass condo Wes lived in, but it was my home and I loved it. When you walked in, the galley-style kitchen was to the left, the bathroom to the right. Straight ahead was my living and dining areas. A sofa, two end tables were on one side of the small room, and across from it a console with my TV over it. By the large picture window was a round table with two chairs.
The bedroom was small, with enough room for my bed and the end table. A small wardrobe cabinet was in the room as well.
“I’m sorry I said that Clare. It’s just…let’s just move on.”
I shot him a dirty look. I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, but I needed to not let his words make me feel this way.
“Fine. We’re moving on. You can leave,” I got this.
“Not so fast, I need to use the restroom. This place is nice,” Wes stated as he walked in and set the bags on the sofa. “Mind if I use your bathroom…oh my God. Oh my God. You have a view of Fenway Park from your place, and not just the roof?”
I had walked into the bedroom to put my bags on the bed. I walked back out to see Wes near the window staring out.
“I do. You should see the view from the terrace, it’s even better.”
He spun around. “Holy shit.”
I shrugged. “I pay a fortune for this place, but it’s close to work and it comes with a view.”
Laughing, he turned back to said view. “Why have we never come to your place to watch the games?”
“Well,” I said as I leaned against the door frame of my bedroom, “I just assumed you went to the games, so why would you need to come here?”
“My parents are the ones with season tickets, not me. And when they don’t go, fighting between my two brothers for those tickets is not fun.”
“Did you need to use the bathroom, Wes?”
Wes turned and looked at me. His smile faded. “I really don’t want you to be mad at me, Clare.”
My heart started to beat a bit faster, and I could feel my cheeks burn slightly. Did he just look at my mouth?
“Rory would kill me if she knew I hurt your feelings.”
And just like that, it felt like someone splashed cold water on me. How could I even think he would care about my feelings?
“Don’t worry about it. The bathroom is right there.”
Wes walked past me and to the bathroom. I sighed and grabbed the rest of the bags and brought them to my room. Dropping them onto the floor, I sat down on the bed and thought back to what Wes had said.
“You don’t know what it’s like to be in love with someone.”
“How wrong you are,” I whispered.
I heard the bathroom door open, so I stood and made my way out to see Wes standing there awkwardly.
“Well, I guess I should be heading out.”
Nodding, I said, “Sounds good. Thank you for driving and helping me get everything. I sent Rory and Harmony a text about getting together to make the decorations and plan out everything.”
“Sounds good,” he said as he glanced around again. “How big is this place?”
“About six-hundred square feet. A lot smaller than your place.”
“The view is killer compared to mine, though.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “You have a harbor view, Wes.”
He motioned to the window. “You have a Fenway view, Clare.”
My head turned to look out the window. “I guess it’s a pretty nice view.”
When I faced him again, he had been looking at me but turned his gaze back to the window.
“Thanks again, Wes,” I said as I moved past him and to the door.
“Right. I guess I’ll see you around then.”
Forcing a smile as I opened the door, I replied, “I’m sure you will.”
He walked past me and out the door. Turning around, he said, “If you don’t mind keeping what I told you to yourself. About Mandy.”
I brought my hand up to my lips and motioned like I was locking a key.
Wes gave a single nod then started toward the elevators. Shutting the door, I leaned against it and forced myself not to cry.
Wes was in love with his ex-girlfriend.