28. Chapter 27
Chapter 27
Esmerelda – Two Weeks Later
I look at the paper in my hand and can’t bring myself to smile even though I should be celebrating, jumping for joy.
I passed.
I’m ready to take over the bakery. I have just received full points in my business class and only last week I had found out I passed my culinary class with flying colors after my final Mississippi pie before…
I swallow hard. I’m ready to go, or well, I should be but I’m not and I don’t know if I ever will be after…
I was raped, or nearly I guess? Sexually assaulted?
He thrusted twice, he tore my walls, so is it rape?
I blink a few times to stop the tears wanting to fall. I don’t know what it was but what I do know is that I was attacked outside my own bakery by someone Bethany sent. The same Bethany who threatened to kill me if I didn’t end things with Damian, and now I can’t even celebrate this milestone, something I have worked so hard for, something I wanted to complete to make my parents proud.
I sniffle and wipe the lone tear that has fallen as I slowly descend the steps, dodging students rushing past me. After I woke in the hospital, my dad and Damian were by my side, and honestly, it took me a few minutes to figure out where I was and what had happened.
My side hurt, my head was pounding, I couldn’t see out of my left eye, and in between my legs, it felt like I was cut in two. Then everything came back, and unfortunately, I couldn’t stop my reaction even if I wanted to.
I bent over the bed and vomited, and then I panicked when sharp shooting pains rushed through my stomach and cramps begun in my lower stomach.
The baby came straight back to me.
Dr. Hammond said everything looked good, the heartbeat was strong, but apparently, I had to be sedated, not that I remember, and now all I feel is dirty and out of balance and I’m scared that any little movement will cause me to miscarry.
I should be jumping up and down now, but I’m not. It’s like I’m not myself anymore, and even though the hospital’s sexually assaulted specialist said it’ll take time to be me again after a traumatic event, it doesn’t feel like it will. I mean I can’t even look in the mirror, the bruises too much of a reminder to what had happened.
Getting attacked will do that to you, I guess.
Sighing, I walk out of the dean’s office building and down the slope, not really paying attention to my surroundings. I missed yesterday's graduation. When I emailed the dean, he called to tell me that I had to be apart of the walk, that I’d regret not doing it until I half-explained that I was in an accident and that I was pregnant, so he said I could pick my diploma up today instead.
I’m glad no one knows about graduation, so no fuss can be made. With everything that had happened and the fact that I was still processing it, I didn’t want a fuss. Damian thinks I’ve just gone for a walk, and that is how it needs to stay, well, until I feel like me again, anyway.
I gently place my hand over my stomach. Damian hasn’t let me out of his sight since I was discharged. Honestly, I don’t like being away from him. I just didn’t want him to make a big deal out of this, too much has happened.
I hear a wolf whistle, which makes me look up and I pause my step as I make eye contact with the man sitting astride his bike, and my eyes tear up as a little smile forms.
Of course….
“My sexy little graduate, get your ass over here,” Damian calls, and I chuckle and do as I’m told, slowly.
I can feel my stitches pull with my movement, but I try and ignore them, as well as the twinge in my side, and walk over to my boyfriend.
I can feel eyes on us, and I know it is because he’s wearing his patch again, the same patch he put on the night I was attacked but I ignore them all, my sole focus on him.
He became Jokester to avenge me, or so Dad says. Apparently, crazy Bethany decided trying to stab me wouldn’t go her way and wanted me to suffer as revenge for Damian loving me and not her. She had me attacked and now because of her actions, she has to fend for herself and is being watched twenty-four-seven, no longer allowed on club property.
I can’t imagine being in Butcher's place or Bullet’s place. That is their daughter and sister, yet they must punish her. According to my dad, if she was anyone else, she would have been killed, though I think he’s just being dramatic.
The club doesn’t kill people, or at least I don’t think they do, do they?
Come to think of it, I haven’t heard from the police since my attack.
“How’d you know?” I ask as I stop near my man trying to clear my head of my silly thoughts.
He shrugs and admits, “I got worried when you said you were going for a walk, so I had a prospect follow you.” He tilts his head, “You missed your graduation, angel.”
I look behind me and admit, “I wouldn’t have been able to cope with it, Damian. You know it, and I know it.” I look back at him and hold the paper up with a small smile and say, “I passed with one of the highest grades, though.”
He grins wide and proudly states, “I never had any doubt,” and I grin back until he says, “Come for a ride with me…”
My grin fades because I know it was a question, it was a demand, and I say, “I uh don’t think that is a good idea,” which it isn’t, and not just because of my ribs.
The baby, I can’t risk anything happening to our baby.
“I promise I’ll go slow, angel. Come on,” he replies and holds his hand out and I eye it for a moment before looking at his face and I sigh at the pout he’s got going on, knowing full well I can’t say no to that look. I walk over to his saddle and put my bag as well as my diploma into it before grabbing his hand and as carefully as I can, I climb on the back gasping when my ribs pull and my thighs rub on the seat.
“Okay, hold on tight,” he says as he gently guides my arm around his waist. I follow with my other arm, lay my head on his back, and ignore all the eyes on us. I close mine as he starts his bike, feeling safe like always when he’s in my orbit before he pulls away from the curb.
“I’m proud of you,” Damian whispers in my ear, and I smile a little, keeping my eyes on the lake and the sunshine bouncing off it.
We’re at his thinking spot, and I’m sat astride his bike, my back leaning against his front, my legs dangling over the handlebars, which is shockingly comfortable.
“To be honest, I thought I may have failed because, damn, that class was hard,” I admit. He chuckles and then gently runs his lips against my ear.
“I never had any doubts, Essy. Everything you do, you put one hundred and ten percent in. Tomorrow night, with your dad, little brother, Cody, and unfortunately his girlfriend, whom he needs to dump sooner or later, we’re going out for a meal to celebrate this because baby, this is something to celebrate. I need you to get that in your head, okay?” he murmurs, and I nod as my eyes fill with unshed tears.
“I love you, stranger,” I reply, and I feel his lips curve into a smile as he says, “I love you too.”
Peace fills me, being in his arms, hearing the birds chirp.
He’s my special place, my home, and honestly, wherever he goes, I’ll willingly follow.
“The club wants me to move back on club land,” he whispers a few minutes later, “I have a house built near Bullet’s behind the clubhouse, and they want me back there, but I just, I don’t know, angel.”
Sadness fills me at the hurt and confusion in his voice and I say, “If you don’t know, then maybe you haven’t gotten what you needed from them yet. Maybe you need to speak to them and open up to them, I don’t know, but until you get the urge that you need to be back on club property, then don’t go. Don’t allow them to demand it or pressure you. You do you, Damian and I’ll stand beside you every step of the way.”
He hums and kisses my neck, and I sigh and ask, “If I asked you a question, would you answer it truthfully no matter what it was?”
“With you, I am an open book,” he replies truthfully, and I swallow hard while keeping my eyes on the lake. I’m nervous about his answer, but I need to know, so I ask, “What happened to the man who attacked me?”
The police have not been in contact since the hospital, and I have seen a couple of glimpses of Bethany with a prospect following her. Her neck is purple, and half of her hair has been shaved.
“I killed him,” Damian says, and I still, and he gently rubs his hand over my stomach, ignoring my reaction. He continues, “I knocked him out after getting him off you, then the club waited by the doors of the hospital with my cut while you were sedated. I killed him, angel, as soon as he admitted Bethany lied about you and convinced him to attack you, I took Acid’s knife, and I killed him before I went after Bethany.”
I swallow hard to clear the lump in my throat as he admits, “I grabbed her throat and lifted her off the ground, and honestly, it wasn’t because she was a girl that I hesitated in snapping her neck. Something she was well aware I was capable of, it was because deep down, I knew I couldn’t do that to Butcher, Louise and Bullet. Despite everything, they are my family, and I couldn’t hurt them that way, so instead, I did to her what that guy did to you and smashed her head on the concrete, she only needed stitches, and I don’t regret any of it.”
He gently cups my cheek as my tears fall and gets me to look at him over my shoulder. Fear shines back at me as he asks, “Are you scared of me now?”
My eyes race between his. I know I should be. I’m carrying his baby, and he’s just admitted to being a murderer, meaning everything Dad said the other day about the club was the truth, but I’ve seen a side to him that no one else gets to see.
I’m in this man’s world, and I know without a doubt that I’ll never be afraid of him. Even if I hadn’t gotten to know him as well as I have, I still would put all my trust in him because my heart knows him. He’s the other half of my soul.
“I love you,” I say, and he softens. I continue, “I know you, I know your heart, and I know that guy was most likely going to kill me for her, and I don’t know if it makes me evil, but I’m glad he’s not roaming the streets. I could never be afraid of you, stranger.”
He nods and confirms, “There isn’t an evil bone in your body.” Then he gently kisses my lips before rasping, “I love you too, angel.” I smile against his lips before kissing him again, my tongue instantly tangling with his before he pulls back, smiling.
Shaking my head, I turn back to the lake, sucking in the gasp that wants to escape from the pains that hit me from my side and legs before I lean back against my man’s chest not wanting to worry him as his hands come to my stomach again, gently cupping it.
“Twelve weeks, angel,” he says, gently rubbing my small bump, and I hum. He asks, “Have you finally made your decision?”
“You knew I’d never have a termination, didn’t you?” I accuse and he chuckles as he gently cups my stomach.
“I did, but I needed you to realize it as well,” he replies, kissing underneath my ear. He continues, “Even though this baby was unplanned and a surprise, you loved it instantly. You were just scared, and I saw that, and it also gave me relief because, yes, I want this baby. It’s a part of you and me, and I’ve seen how amazing you are with Aiden. Being a mom is who you are meant to be, I’m just a lucky fucker that it's my child you are having.”
My tears fall, and I admit out loud for the first time, “I really do want this baby,” and he wraps his arms around my waist, holding me tightly as the first sob releases, all the pain and heartache over the past few months that was overwhelming me finally coming out, the pain I wanted to unleash a few weeks ago at mom’s grave with dad and then at Aiden’s birthday dinner, all coming out in big sobs that shake my body.
“Just let it all out baby, I’ve got you,” he promises as he holds me tight, and I do as I’m told.
My emotions fall out of me as the attack, Bethany, mom, the bakery, Trina, and the baby hit me at once, the strength to stay strong leaving my body, and I struggle to catch my breath all while the love of my life holds me close, repeatedly telling me that he’s got me…