Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
Bennett
“What was that all about?” Finn asks as he sits down on the couch next to me. Kicking his feet up, he props them on the table and waits.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Seriously.” He scoffs. “That’s how you’re playing this?”
“It was nothing,” I say, knowing I won’t be able to shut him up if I don’t give him something. “Just me trying to make up for all the shit choices I’ve made and hoping that Lexi can forgive me.”
“You’re not still blaming yourself for the Derrick thing, are you?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” I stand and walk away, pausing at the French doors that open onto a large patio.
Looking over the lake about fifty feet out front the back of my brother’s house I see the appeal of the location.
He bought it right after returning home from the Marines, already deciding that it would be the place he built his forever home.
Maybe it was the timing, but then I couldn’t see it, but now, it all feels different.
Brant already had plans for a large play area out back, with a swing set and a climbing wall. He talks of seeing his kids outside running around while him and Sutton chase them and laugh. He has his whole life visualized.
“You ready to take ownership of the other side of the lake?” Brantley steps up next to me offering a beer.
“Mom and Dad are only a few miles down the road that way, work is fifteen minute drive in that direction.” He points east and west. “The lake is large enough that we still have our privacy, but with a quick ride around the perimeter on the UTV we can be at each other’s back doors anytime we want to visit. ”
“What makes you think I’d want to visit you?”
He smiles, leaning against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m talking about Sutton and Lexi, or our kids when they grow up together.” The idea makes me smile but then it quickly fades.
“She hates me.” Or she wants to. I’m not sure how to take her words.
“She’s hurt, but believe me brother, Lexi doesn’t hate you.”
Easy for him to say, he isn’t part of our conversations. He doesn’t see the way she looks at me. The way she ensures there is always a safe distance remaining between us.
Brantley places his hand on my shoulder offering me a squeeze before walking away, leaving me with my thoughts.
For the next hour I listen to the guys hassle each other, playing pool and darts. I stand back, nursing a beer, continuing to look toward the stairway like by some miracle Lexi will come for me.
At some point after several shots and a sad tournament of darts to which Finn and I were deemed champions, we all crashed around the room. Besides Brant who went upstairs to join his wife.
The basement is quiet, besides Aaron snoring from his place on the recliner. We’ve all tried about everything we could think of to shut him up; pinching his nose, throwing a pillow at his head, nothing works. Well, it doesn’t work for long, once he gets settled it all starts up again.
Staring up at the ceiling fan, my eyes start to grow heavy.
There’s the sound of feet shuffling against the floor just before a shadow casts over me as the moonlight from the back door is blocked and then unblocked.
Lexi’s blonde hair falls forward and she leans over me. I’m momentarily frozen, not wanting to move. One reason is if it’s a dream I didn’t want to wake up and if I’m awake I didn’t want to scare her away.
“You're awake.”
“Am I?” I ask, making her smile as she lowers herself to her knees. I start to move, and she places her hand on my chest, shaking her head.
“Stay.” I do as she says, still unsure of what is happening. “I’m gonna do this now, because I won’t have the nerve to do it tomorrow. Also, if you reject me again, I’m buzzed and I can pretend it was nothing more than a drunk illusion.”
Before I have the chance to say anything Lexi leans closer, pressing her lips to mine.
I’m completely taken off guard, my entire body frozen.
Everything hits me when she starts to pull away, and I lift my hand, cupping the back of her head, holding her closer.
Deepening the kiss, Lexi lets out a whimper, and I drag my tongue over her lips as they part.
She tastes sweet, like the fruity drink they’d all been consuming throughout the night.
“I want to hate you, Bennett,” she whispers. “I really do.”
“But?” I repeat the same word I asked her earlier, not expecting her to give me an answer. I’m surprised when she does.
“I’ve tried to, but it all leads back to the same place, no matter how hard I try.”
“Where’s that?”
“Loving you.” My chest grows tight. “And I don’t want to love you, Bennett. I don’t want to.”
With those words, she stands and starts to back up as I reach out for her. “Goodnight, Bennett.” She leaves the way she came, and I’m left as confused as I was when she first knelt beside me.
My chest is so tight I feel like I can barely breathe.
“Did that really just happen?” someone whispers in the dark, and I glance over once Lexi disappears back upstairs to find Rory. He has the same confused look on his face that I assume I have on mine.
“I have no fucking idea, man.” It seriously feels like I dreamt the entire thing.