Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Lexi
I’d managed to miss the entire move. I missed the awkward exchange, instead working extra hours and insisting on helping Sutton with classes I have no idea how to teach. I don’t dance, yet there I was straightening tutus and helping little ladies slip on their jazz shoes.
I should go home, but it feels weird there.
Adley is gone and the room that was once hers now has a twin size bed with matching dresser. A purple comforter, pictures of princesses on the walls, and a toy box full of things I thought Camryn would enjoy.
I hide the game console in the living room hutch, thinking maybe a caseworker would frown upon it. But I remember Camryn talking about Minecraft, Lego Land, and a few other games she loved playing.
The home visit is set for anytime next week, a surprise visit, to catch me off guard I guess.
But in the meantime, I go in early and stay late. I avoid phone calls and decided to skip the get-together at Sutton’s a few nights ago and took myself to a movie instead. Yes, alone!
I stand from my desk, grabbing my things when my phone rings from inside my bag. Seeing Bennett’s name light up the screen I know I need to face the bear, but what do I say?
How’s life with Adley? Do you both hang out in your underwear together and drink beers?
I’m such a mess, I know this already.
Exiting my office I flip off the light and start to walk down the hallway just as the girls’ group session is exiting.
I see Camryn walking with her head down and I hurry to catch up so I can say hello. We don’t talk much since she was switched to a different counselor, but I had to do it that way. It was a conflict of interest, and I didn’t want to create any hiccups in the process of being approved.
Reaching her, I tug on the back of her shirt just enough to gain her attention. She pauses, looks back over her shoulder and I notice the way her mouth turns into a frown.
“Hey you.” My entire body feels her frown.
When she shrugs me off and attempts to hurry away, I jog a little to catch up and slip around in front of her blocking her path.
“Are you okay?”
She only shakes her head and I am reminded of the girl that first came to see me.
“Can we talk about it?” I ask her.
“Why, you already left.” She takes a step back to create a little more space between her and I.
“What do you mean I left?” I literally feel like my heart is cracking.
“I heard others talking and they said you told your boss you didn’t want to talk to me anymore.”
“Oh sweetheart,” I want to reach out and hug her, “that’s not true. That’s not even close to being true.”
“Then why don’t I see you anymore?”
The sadness in her eyes is killing me.
“Can we move over here and talk, is that okay with you?”
Again, she nods and I lead her over to a bench away from the others.
“I’d like to be completely honest with you.
” I turn my body to face her, yet she continues to look down at her lap instead of at me.
“I have something to tell you that I wasn’t going to tell you until I knew for sure.
But I feel like right now, you need to hear it.
Then at least if it’s not something you want, I’ll know now, instead of later, right? ”
Camryn peeks up at me and nods, and the fact that she still can’t hold my stare makes me feel like I’m slowly crumbling on the inside.
“I can’t be your counselor anymore.”
“Why?” Her voice shudders and my throat feels like it’s on fire.
“Because if I want to foster you, I can’t be both.
” Her brows furrow in confusion but she locks her eyes with mine.
“And Camryn I would so much rather have you living with me. That doesn’t mean we can’t talk, honestly it means that we can share more and I’m not violating any set rules.
It means that you and I can heal together, we can remember and feel sad or happy whenever we’d like.
And we can have as many bonfires as we want and get sick on s’mores and the best part is I’ll get to see you more than twice a week. Would you like that?”
I hold my breath, waiting for her to respond. The longer she makes me wait the more I feel like maybe I just ruined everything.
That is until she lunges forward and wraps her arms around me.
“Do you mean it?”
“I do.” I can finally breathe. “I need a little more time. I’ve been doing everything they’ve asked of me. I’ve been taking classes and getting a room ready for you. But I think it’s close. I think we’re almost there.” She hugs me tighter.
“Can you give me a little more time?”
“Yes,” she says, her voice no longer feeling sad.
“What’s your favorite color?” She pulls back and looks up at me.
“Purple.” And relief washes over me.
“Perfect,” I tell her. “That’s perfect!”