20. Emma
Emma
The stack of books I hid away for Penny is right where I left it in the sorting room. I carry them into the main library, where Carson and Penny are waiting for me. She gasps, eyes lighting up. “These look amazing.”
“Have you read the Cupcake Diaries? They’ll hold you over until that Paris book comes in, I think.”
“Not yet.” Penny flips through the stack. “Can I take all of them?”
“Sure.” The glow permeates me, filling every crevice with that sense of accomplishment that follows anytime I make the right recommendation to the right person. I glance at Carson, surprised to find his smile on me. My warm feeling only radiates.
“Dad, can you hold them? I want to find Molly.”
“Molly?” I ask. “Is this the girl who sat by you at lunch?”
Penny practically bounces, her energy buzzing. “Yes! I asked her if I could play with her at recess and now we’re friends.”
“I knew you could do it.” I raise my hand in a tall high-five, and she jumps to hit it, beaming.
“Can I go now, Dad?”
“Sure thing.”
Penny runs off, leaving us with her stack of books, blonde hair trailing behind her in a long, tangled wave. I think about the request I made to Sloan this morning and swallow my reservations. We’re friends. It’s not weird for friends to want to help each other out.
“What’s this about the lunch thing?” Carson asks, his eyes pinned on me like the fate of the world rests on my answer.
“Oh, it was that first few days of school. How Penny was struggling to make friends?” I wait to continue, but he keeps watching me. “But Molly—I guess—asked to sit by her at lunch. I offered advice about how to extend that into playing at recess. It was nothing.”
Carson swallows, making the column of his throat move with the motion. “She said nothing about that to me.”
“I was fishing for information.”
He nods softly. “Thanks for helping her.”
My neck goes hot. He’s acting like I did this huge thing for him, and I can’t take it. “How is your booth going? I saw Barb manning it when you guys came to story time.”
“I think it’s going to bring in a fair amount of people.” He looks through the library, spotting his daughter. “I was talking to Molly’s mom earlier and she told me they’ve pre-scheduled appointments for their six-month check up. I probably need to worry less and let the practice grow on its own.”
“If it’s a slow start, it’s only because of how busy these weeks are. Did you see the crowds? We have so many tourists right now.”
“True.” He agrees, but his expression isn’t as quick to relax. The guy is stressed.
“How is Penny settling in?”
“Apparently she has a friend, which is a relief. I’m glad she told you about it.” He shoots me a sad smile. “I guess my ex has been texting her, and she didn’t mention that, either. We’re entering the stage where she doesn’t tell me every single thing that happens in her day, and I don’t like it.”
“Is nine considered a pre-teen? Because that all feels normal for pre-teens.”
He gives a self-deprecating laugh. “I know nothing about parenting or girls or pre-teens.”
I don’t join in, and his laughter dies. “None of that is true, though, is it? You’re doing a fantastic job with Penny, so clearly you know enough. You don’t have to put yourself down.”
“Yeah, I mean…I don’t know, Emma. I don’t feel like I know anything.”
“Does any parent think they’re nailing it?
I’m not one yet, but I don’t know anyone who looks at their children and is positive they’re a parenting pro.
It’s human nature to second-guess yourself.
I imagine when it’s something as important as being a dad, that only amplifies things.
From where I’m standing, you’re doing a great job with that little girl.
She’s happy and confident, and that’s after making a huge move. Cut yourself some slack.”
Carson’s eyes remain serious.
He’s blocked from saying anything, though, when an arm slides around my shoulders and Seth’s familiar spicy scent invades the space. “How’s it going over here? Finding everything you need?”
Carson straightens. “Yeah, man. Emma found a whole stack of books for my daughter.”
“Right on.” Seth nods, his hand tightening possessively over my shoulder.
Carson’s eyes dip to the hand curled there, and I want to sink into the ground. Seth could not be more obvious about staking his claim unless he pulled out a club and started caveman dancing around me. It’s so archaic and cheesy.
Then there’s part of me that notices I’m enveloped in Seth’s spicy cologne, so it means I can’t smell whatever nectar of the gods Carson is wearing. Seth is actively shielding me, even though he doesn’t know it.
Ugh. Why is it so hard to get over this guy? Why is it even harder to give this other guy a chance?
“I should find Penny. It was good to see you, Emma.” Carson smiles tightly at both of us. “Catch you later.”
“Sure,” Seth says lightly.
I wait for Carson to be totally out of earshot before slipping free of Seth’s hold. “Okay, so that wasn’t work-appropriate.”
“Yet flirting with some dad while you’re on shift is?”
“I’m going to assume you didn’t really mean that.”
Seth shuts his eyes, letting out a sigh. “Sorry. You’re right. I was jealous, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“There’s nothing to be jealous about,” I remind him. “First off, we aren’t together, Seth. We won’t ever be together if you get that way anytime I talk to a man.”
“It’s not just a man, though. You’ve made out with him.”
I hate that Seth was there, that he saw us together. That every time I think about Carson’s hands gripping my waist, I melt inside.
It’s not even fair to tell him it meant nothing, because despite what I’ve been trying to make myself believe, it meant everything. The better I get to know Carson and what an incredible person he is, the more it comes to mean.
Neither of us are the meaningless hook-up type, so it feels more like kismet than chance that we’d end up in the right place at the right time with the right mood for everything to come together and both of us to drop our inhibitions.
Maybe I should be more embarrassed and less empowered, but Carson unlocked something deep within me.
“Second,” I say, “he’s my friend. If this is going to be a problem, we can stay friends, too.”
I’ve kissed Seth, too. Our first relationship started because we felt the vibes at that library conference and made out under the lights of karaoke.
I’m karaoke cursed.
Sheesh, maybe I am the type for meaningless kissing.
At least when there’s an off-key sing-along involved.
At the time, though, I’d thought it meant something.
But we went on a few dates, and he didn’t call or text me for weeks.
We still had to see each other all the time at work.
Watching him flirt with patrons was a cold bucket of water to my expectations.
Maybe I’m not meant to find someone yet. The thought is a punch to my gut, swift and forceful. When I look back up at Seth, the furrow in his brow and warmth in his eyes nearly pulls me under.
“Sorry, Emma.”
It’s so simple, yet so powerful. “We need to have work boundaries.”
“You’re right. That was out of line. I’ll do better.”
Hello, green flag. I can’t fault him if he’s going to be humble enough to admit wrongdoing so quickly.
“I know I didn’t take us seriously the last time we tried to go out, but I’m not that guy anymore. I want to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, and I want us to give this a real shot.”
I do a quick inventory in my head.
Seth Pros: he’s nice, can be a gentleman, good kisser, attractive, and likes to read.
Seth Cons: he’s not Carson.
Fine, that’s not fair. It’s reason enough to dash a mental line through the cons list entirely. Especially when the rest of the list is composed of things he did last year, things I shouldn’t hold against him if I really am giving him another shot.
“Okay,” I hear myself say.
“Movie tonight?” he asks.
“I have too much to do for Kiss the Pig. Maybe once this week is over and I can breathe again.”
He nods. “Okay.”
I hold his gaze for a moment, and it doesn’t feel terrible. Maybe this can work.
He clears his throat, and his boss demeanor pops into place. “Can you man the front desk for a bit? Maggie’s due for her break.”
“Sure.” I pick up a stack of discarded books from a table to set on the take-backs cart.
Penny and Molly are huddled over a book in the children’s section while Carson chats with Katie, who’s bouncing her sleeping baby in her carrier wrap.
Maggie doesn’t really need me to relieve her, but I don’t mind stepping in.
We have a computer that allows people to check out their own books, but many of our patrons are old school and like having a person do it for them.
I step behind the desk. “Seth mentioned it’s time for your break.”
“Finally,” she mutters. “Oh hey, there was a delivery with your name on it this morning.”
I lift the small box as she slips away, noting the return address, and my smile grows. My stickers are here.
The doors open and a tall man walks through, wearing a plaid long-sleeved shirt over a heathered green tee. Once the sunlight isn’t shining in his face, I can see it’s James Carver, the third contestant for Kiss the Pig. “Your smile looks dangerous,” he says. “Did you already count the money?”
“No. Those jugs are open until we close today. I got a delivery.” I open the box and pull out a stack of shrink-wrapped oval stickers, the same shape and size as the I Voted ones we get every November, only these don’t sport the American flag.
They’re pink, with a heart where the O should be.
I think they’re cute, if I do say so myself.
Who wouldn’t want to cast their vote about the mayor’s love life and sport an adorable pink sticker?
Have I lost my mind? Is this too small-town? I’m pretty sure if the bigwigs from Burlington cared enough about our branch to stop in, they’d put a kibosh on it right away. Like Seth, they would find it cheesy and weird. But I can see the townspeople finding it fun. That’s all it’s meant to be: fun.
I lift my gaze to James and show him the stickers. “They’re for people who vote on my bulletin board.”
His brow lifts. “They’re very pink.”
“It’s romance-themed.”
James laughs, glancing over at the board. “Oh, wow. I bet Mr. Monroe loves that.”
“I don’t know if he knows about it yet. But Juliet gave her approval.” I nod down to the jugs. “Those look awfully close.”
“Too close.” He pulls out his wallet and makes a donation in each of the other jugs.
Carson walks up, holding a stack of books, and Penny is looking through one just behind him. “Saw that,” he says.
James gives a hearty laugh. “Whoops. Caught.”
“Hey, man.” Carson shakes his hand. “It’s been a while. I thought you lived off the grid somewhere.”
James eyes Penny. “Who’s this?”
“Penny Price, my nine-year-old.”
She glances up. “Hi. Who are you?”
“I’m going against your dad in Kiss the Pig tomorrow.”
Penny cracks a grin that shows her missing tooth. “I hope he wins.”
“You and me both, kid.” James folds his arms over his broad chest.
“On behalf of the library, I want to thank both of you for putting your lips on the line for the sake of our kids.” They look at me in time to catch my blush. “By tomorrow night, it’ll all be over.”
“Thank heavens,” Carson mutters, but his expression is amused. He shifts his attention to James. “How’s it going?”
“Good. I heard you moved home.”
“I took over Vance Dental.” He points to the logo on his shirt. “We’re still trying to figure out if it was a good move or not.”
“I’m sure it’ll be great.”
“How’s your mom doing?” Carson asks.
I feel weird eavesdropping, so I snap a picture of the stickers and send them to Juliet, our mayor’s daughter. She’s helping my sister run the entire festival this week, so I imagine she’s swamped.
Emma
Too much?
Juliet
So pink and so perfect!
Emma
I have a feeling we’ll see a lot of pink stickers walking around the festival
Juliet
Everyone’s gonna want one. I’ll come by soon for mine.
She sends a picture of herself beside a scarecrow for the photo op on Main Street, her long brown hair back in a braid and a slightly manic expression.
There’s a piece of straw in her hair, too, so I’m guessing she was wrestling with the scarecrow a minute ago.
I’m so glad my sister has someone like Juliet on her side.
Emma
Only five more days and then you’re off the hook! You’ve got this!
There’s a slight tapping on my desk, so I put the phone down. Carson absently taps the counter next to his stack of books. “See you tomorrow, man,” he says.
James lifts his hand in a wave to both of us, and I wave back.
“Ready to check out?” I ask. “I’ll just need your card.”
He slides it over, and I scan it before putting in each of the books Penny chose. She’s engrossed in the one she’s currently reading, so I pull out the scanner and reach over the desk to beep the barcode on the back.
Penny looks up, laughter dancing in her eyes. “It’s too good to put down.”
“A girl after my own heart.”
This makes her beam even more before her attention drops back to her book.
Carson leans against the counter. “It looks like things are going well with Mr. Librarian.”
“They’re going,” I say noncommittally.
“Don’t let him step in and tile your bathroom, okay? That’s my job.”
The ownership and territorial nature of his statement vibrates through me. I’m not sure I’ve heard a more attractive thing in my entire life. I swallow, my mouth dry. “You have to pay your debts.”
“Exactly.” He taps the counter lightly with his fist, his green eyes boring into me. “I need to get back to my practice. See you later.”
“Bye, Emma!” Penny says, skipping toward the door.
Carson smiles with admiration, then follows her, carrying her stack of books.
Has a man ever looked better?