7. Chapter SevenFiona
Chapter Seven
Fiona
M y mind had traveled so far that I was more or less detached from my actual environment. I felt it was rather impossible to hold back my feelings for him any longer.
I knew I had almost betrayed myself tonight. I doubted if he didn’t notice how my eyes conspicuously displayed how I felt for him.
Perhaps I hadn’t thought it through when I accepted the job offer. Maybe I had underestimated my feelings and the spontaneity associated with love.
I loved Christian, and it was only a matter of time before everyone, including him, knew. What would happen then, I had never dared to imagine.
But now, pictures began to emerge in the most obscure corner of my heart.
I saw Allison.
How would she react when she discovered that I had long since been in love with her brother? I didn’t think it was proper to tell her, and I kept it to myself for so long.
But I wasn’t totally to blame.
I didn’t know my crush on him would graduate to overwhelming feelings such as these. About ten years back, it had been unimaginable.
Christian was going to be out of town for three days.
I knew I would definitely feel his absence, but I wanted to use the opportunity to reflect on what to do.
I felt this palpable ugly feeling that consistently spoke ill to my mind; that I was breaching some kind of law on relationships and I wasn’t truthful to my friends.
Perhaps, if I took time to think about it, I would find peace in my resolution.
*****
The following morning would have broken out fresh and clear, but my sound sleep was disturbed by the continuous revving of someone’s bike.
I was forced to open my window in order to find out who the offender was.
In the sunlight outside, I could see a teen on his bike in front of another duplex that shared her fence with me.
An older man with a bushy mustache was carrying boxes inside from a truck, and it looked like they were just moving in.
The mother, a petite blonde in a flowy dress, appeared at the entrance, yelling at the boy to go inside.
At last, he dashed inside, sparing me an earache.
Glancing at the alarm clock on my bedside table, I realized I might just have woken up in time to prepare for Christian’s departure.
I slipped down the bed, and I got myself cleaned up. I ran the entire way to Christian’s house, hovering outside to calm my breath. I called Liam and asked how close he was to the house.
Christian was already up and ready to go when I stepped in. He was reading the papers and didn’t look up when I came in.
“Liam said he would be here in five minutes,” I said by way of hello.
“Good.”
If I could read people, I could swear he was anxious, at the very least.
“Is there anything else you’d like for me to arrange?” I asked.
“No,” he curtly replied, and the entire house slipped into silence.
When Liam arrived, and had put his suitcase in the trunk of the car, we drove out onto the road and headed to the airport.
And as much as I tried to refrain from looking at him, I stole forbidden glances at him, though I might not have successfully been covert with them.
It worried me that his beautiful eyes were as cold as ice and as distant as the sky from the earth. But I couldn’t bring myself to ask him what was wrong.
I swallowed up my plethora of questions as I watched him move farther and farther away from me. It was as though we were being separated again.
“Shall we leave?” Liam’s impatient voice jolted me out of my thoughts.
Without looking back, I entered the car, and he drove away.
*****
There wasn’t a lot of communication between us the entire day. I had no idea how much it affected my mood until my mother called late in the afternoon while I was having my lunch break, and asked why I sounded so low.
“Is this about Christian?” She ultimately asked.
“No,” I lied.
“What is it then?” She persisted.
My mind was so blank that I couldn’t conjure up a lie that Christian would not appear in, so I chose to keep quiet.
“Is this about your father?” She solemnly queried. I felt a pang of fresh sorrow hit through my body. I recalled the depth of pain I had felt upon the news of his death, and I thought I was going to relive it.
“I know you miss him, and living in Laketown must be hard on you,” she said, and I could hear the concern in her voice.
I have been trying to not think about it. In my head, my father was dead, and there was nothing I could do but accept it. The emotion started a thought in my mind. My father was buried here, in Laketown, so I could definitely visit his grave.
“I’m fine,” I replied. “Work was just stressful today.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Tell me how the bakery is fairing these days that your favorite attraction isn’t there to help you bring in customers.”
My mother laughed, loud and happy. And launched into tales about her customers. It made me smile, and I considered it a perfect way to spend my lunch break.
When I was about to leave work late in the afternoon, I saw a woman lashing out at Mason in front of the building.
She looked furious, and in the car behind them, a young girl of about eight was peering innocently out of the window.
Apparently, he had felt eyes were on him, and as soon our eyes locked, I fled from the scene.
Throughout my ride home, I kept thinking about him and the woman who looked like she could raise hell from the slightest provocation.
As I joined the pieces together, I recalled I might have seen the woman before.
Yes! She was the next-door neighbor who had just moved in the previous day.
But then, how was she related to Mason? I was greatly puzzled, and it seemed like if I was able to decipher the situation, I would be able to demystify Mason as a person.
I couldn’t possibly ignore the creeps I got whenever he glared at me.
Obviously, I was not his person, but I didn’t know the reason. Yet, he was not friendlier with the other female staff members.
********
On the day Christian was to return to town, I saw the woman again when I stepped out to tend to the cactus plants on my porch.
This time, she was not yelling at anybody; she only saw off the man she was living with.
Then, the young girl from the other day proceeded out of the house, staring blankly at them.
She looked so morose and aloof that you could take her for one of Michelangelo’s statues, save for the fact that she was well-dressed.
When the man had driven out of the house, the woman turned to the girl.
“You can go to your father’s today.” She said and walked in.
Decidedly, I concluded that the girl was Mason’s daughter.
Although I had cause to be excited knowing that I would see Christian again, knowing that I would not have cause to continue staring at his pictures since he would be returning. I would see him physically, but I was not excited.
I perceived it to be a strange feeling. When a report came in that the CEO was already outside the building, I was reluctant to receive him, though I was meant to be present.
However, I couldn’t let these strange feelings overwhelm my salaried duties, so I braced myself and went ahead and welcomed him.
He was pleased to see me, he told me when the bevy of staff members had withdrawn from behind us, and we were then in the elevator that would take us up to his office.
“Liam told me you were pretty occupied with work, so you could not accompany him.” He said as soon as we entered the elevator.
Yes! I had told Liam exactly that.
“Yes.”
“Hm,” he nodded agreeably.
“Japan has changed quite a lot since I visited last.” He kept the conversation going.
“Oh,” I only whispered, terrified I might say something out of place.
“Yeah.”
And a grave silence fell between us. I could almost hear him breathe. I tried to stand as far away as I could. When the elevator opened, I let him go out before me.
After I dropped off his things in the office, I immediately prepared to leave, but he stopped me.
“Are you okay?” he asked, leaning against his desk.
“Yes,” I managed to respond despite the turbulence in my heart. He couldn’t actually see it, but I was sure it had begun to manifest.
“Did Mason perhaps give you a hard time when I was out of the country?” He persisted.
Mason? We had not come in contact since the evening he caught me watching him and that woman argue outside the company.
“No.”
“What then is troubling you?” He hissed, strolling towards me.
He stopped at a respectable distance away from me, but I was still able to admire his piercing eyes.
During the short time of his absence, he had restyled his sleek brown hair in a way that highlighted his facial features. He had this healthy glow I had not seen in him during my first few weeks as his personal assistant. I longed to trace his contours with my fingertips.
“It’s really nothing. I think I should return to my desk now. Please, buzz me when you need anything.” I quickly said and briskly walked out of the room.
While at my desk, I knew he could see me well, so I tried to act as composed as I would usually be before these strange reactions began.
I decided to bury myself with work in order to barricade my mind from whimsically wandering to thoughts of him.
However, the intercom buzzed no sooner had I settled in my seat. I looked in his direction through the see-through glass door.
Very confidently, he beckoned to me, and I had no choice but to go back to him.
“You called for me, sir?”
“I want us to have lunch.” He said, but it appeared he intentionally wanted me to be around him.
I shouldn’t have come to such a conclusion, but I could hardly think of any other reason.
“Okay. What would you like to have?”
“Caesar salad.” He answered with a knowing smile that suggested mischief.
“Very well, I’ll have it ordered.”
“I think you are too far away…” he expressed.
I panicked.
“You appear sort of rigid as well.” He added.
“Well-”
“Is something bothering you?” He asked, again, crossing his arms against his broad chest.
I couldn’t possibly tell him he was the cause of my sudden withdrawal.
I couldn’t possibly tell him I didn’t want to get too close to him to avoid making a stupid mistake.
Or, that it was rather best to stay away as much as possible as my growing feelings seemed to possess an interminable spurt.
“I do not intend to bother you, I’m sorry, but I’m fine.” I sensibly replied.
“I am responsible for your well-being; you should know that, Fiona.”
“But-”
“Are you perhaps upset with me?”
Oh my goodness! How could I possibly be upset with him?
“No, that’s impossible.” I countered.
“I’m glad you are not, but-”
His phone must have vibrated in his pocket, for he quickly retrieved it and answered a call, beckoning me not to leave.
So, I stood there, staring from his chiseled jawlines to his biceps and to the entirety of his figure.
I swallowed over and over again, and I would not be aware of the tension that was tragically worming its way into the conversation until moments later.
By then, he was already rigid on the spot, and his brows furrowed.
I thought his body language, as he threw a few glances at me, suggested some dreadful kind of alertness. He spoke in short, sparse sentences.
Who in the heavens was he speaking with?
I began to feel helpless, standing there without being able to help in any way.
Momentarily, he raised his voice at the caller, but he immediately regretted it as a look of despair crawled on his face.
The call would soon end, and he would slump on the sofa, quite unlike him.
The room bore a tangible silence that I feared could not be penetrated.
Christian had his head in his hands; he was down. Something shifted in me, but I could not bring myself to talk to him. Knowing that I was trying so hard to repress my personal feelings, I might just explode.