16. Chapter Sixteen Christian
Chapter Sixteen
Christian
I stood unmoving, Fiona’s words ringing in my head, but not quite making sense. Of all the things I thought she would say, that was something that didn’t even make the list. I thought she was avoiding me because I had done something wrong, not because she liked me.
Fiona liked me.
My heart thumped in my chest, and I tried to understand what she said. I brought myself back into the moment. Fiona was no longer staring at me; she was looking past me, and a smile threatened to break on my face.
When she looked back at me, the smile passed and Fiona’s face fell immediately. She pulled her arm out of my hand and backed away. I took another step toward her, but she put an arm out, keeping me at the distance.
She let out a laugh, but there was no humor to it.
“I made a mistake,” she said, shaking her head. “Forget I said anything.”
Like that was possible. Those are the words I’ve spent nights wondering if I’d ever hear them from her lips, and she just offered them to me. There was no way I was going to let her walk out of the boardroom without confirming that she meant what she said.
I took another step towards her, “Fiona, listen.”
“Never mind. Don’t mind me. This never happened.”
She turned to walk out, but I grabbed her hand and pulled her back to me. I was definitely not going to let her go that easily.
“Christian, please,” she said, her voice breaking. “I get it already; you don’t feel the same way. Let me go.”
I scoffed at her. “Why would you think that?”
Fiona pulled her hand out of mine and walked further into the boardroom, maintaining distance between us.
“When did you start to feel this way?” I asked, following after her, but keeping a respectable distance. I wasn’t sure what was considered respectable, given the fact that what I really wanted to do was to pull her back into my arms and kiss her. Especially now that I knew I stood a chance of being kissed back.
“Are you trying to make fun of me?” Fiona asked, pacing the room. “Is this fun for you? Something for you to look back on later and laugh at?”
“Why would I laugh about this?”
She turned to look at me, and I could see the tears nestling in her eyes. I took a step forward, I didn’t want to see her cry, and I didn’t want to be the reason she was crying, either.
This was a woman who came into my life and offered me more than I bargained for. She came into my life and gave me friendship, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on… how could she think I would laugh at her?
“I know you think that it’s stupid that I like you,” Fiona lifted her hand up to stop my disagreement from leaving my mouth, before continuing, “I also don’t know what I was thinking of falling for you, but it happened, and there is nothing I can do about it.”
I told myself she felt the same way, trying not to grin again lest she gets the wrong idea.
“Don’t worry about it, though, I’ll make sure it doesn’t get between my job and I. So, really, we can just pretend that I never said that.”
“I don’t want to,” I said, and shook my head. “I don’t want to pretend you don’t like me because that would mean pretending I don’t feel the same way. And I feel the same way, too.”
Fiona was looking at me now, watching my face like it would reveal some bigger secret. I took a step towards her, watching to see how she was going to react. She didn’t back away, so I continued like that until I was standing right in front of her.
“You’re just saying that, right?”
I shook my head. “I wouldn’t think of lying like that. You have no idea how torturous the last months have been for me. I kept wondering how I would let you know that I can’t think of anything but you. I wondered if I gave myself away with that kiss, and that was why you didn’t want to be around me anymore.”
I considered it a win that she didn’t back away from me anymore, but I could still see the skepticism in her eyes.
“Fiona-”
“If you’re joking, pulling my legs, now would be a good time to stop.”
I wanted to take her in my arms, pull her closer, and reassure her, but at the same time, I didn’t want to scare her away by being too forward. I wanted her to believe me, every word.
“Fiona,” I said, lowering my voice, as if there were people other than us in the boardroom. I was grateful that we didn’t have one of those glass types of rooms because people would be looking at us and wondering what was going on. I wanted this moment to be between us, and I wanted to come clean to her.
She had jumped, and now, it was time for me to catch her.
“Christian.”
“I like you too.” Simplicity, sometimes, was better than any fancy words, and I wanted to get the point across as soon as possible without beating around the bush.
“I’ve liked you for a while now and wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to scare you away. I thought you’d never like someone like me. Someone who doesn’t have much control over their life, someone whose ex is still making life difficult for them, or whose family is making things worse. You make my life easier, and you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. You see me, and you take care of me. I want to be all the things you’ve been to me. I want to hold you, hug you, kiss you,” I took another step until we were a breath away.
“I want to love you.”
Fiona sucked in a deep breath. “Christian.”
The way my name fell out of her lips was all I needed to cup her face in my hands, and run my thumb on her cheek. Fiona shut her eyes and leaned into the touch, and my heart nearly burst out of my chest. I took a deep breath to steady myself. I couldn’t believe I was touching her like this; I couldn’t believe she felt the same way about me.
I braved myself and ran my thumb across her lips, and Fiona gasped at the contact. I wanted to press my lips to hers, but Fiona snapped out of it, shaking her head and pulling away from me. The emptiness I was left with almost felt like I was missing a limb.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, following after her. Now that I knew how she felt, I could say that I was desperate for her.
“Do you think this would work? Between your mother and every other thing? I don’t want to start something I can’t finish.”
And really, I did assume that it would come up at some point. It would be unfair of me to start something with her without handling these issues. Somehow, it was part of why I was reluctant to tell her how I felt. But now that I was sure, I was going to do everything possible to make sure that I didn’t lose her.
“I’ll fix it,” I said, reaching out for her. Fiona let me hold her and pull her back to me. “I promise.”
Her gaze was soft now when she looked at me, and my eyes zeroed in on her lips again. I pulled her closer to me until we were flushed together.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” I whispered, and Fiona nodded.
She closed her eyes, and I took a moment to admire her long lashes and the smoothness of her face. Just as I began to lean down slowly to kiss her, the door to the boardroom flew open, and Fiona and I moved away from each other like we’d been burnt.
I whipped my head around, ready to go off on the person who dared to interrupt the both of us, but instead of another staff member, I found my mom standing there.
She looked between me and Fiona, her eyes settling on the woman behind me. I knew my mom better than I would like to admit, and she was sharper than most when it came to such things. There was no denying that she knew what was going on before she interrupted.
I stepped forward to block her view of Fiona, who I was certain did not like the look Mom was sending her. Despite being Allison’s friend, Mom has never really liked her.
My mom’s attention returned back to me. “Is this how you run the company these days? Getting together with an employee?”
“Mom, what are you doing here?”
“I thought I would come over and see how you were doing, but you’re here kissing an employee when you have a reasonable girl waiting for you to come to your senses.”
“I’ll leave now,” Fiona said, and attempted to walk past the both of us with my mom standing in front of the door, unwilling to move to the side.
I took a hold of Fiona’s hand and pulled her back to me. When I said I was going to make things right, I meant it. If I had to start with my mom, I would do it. Not because I wanted to, but because I owe it to Fiona to defend her no matter how overwhelming I find dealing with my parents.
“She’s not just any employee; she’s Fiona. You need to stop pretending like you haven’t known her since she was a kid. And you need to stop treating her like that, especially since she’s the woman I love.”
Mom’s gaze stayed on me without blinking, as if waiting for me to take my words back. I squeezed Fiona’s hands without looking at her, wanting a way to tell her that I was with her.
Instead of saying something, my mom threw her head back and laughed. Loud. I winced at how loud her laughter was, and when she looked back at the both of us, she had tears in her eyes. Finally, after what felt like forever, she cleaned her eyes and cleared her throat.
“I don’t know what you’ve been feeding my son, but I suggest you give it a break now,” Mom said to Fiona, then turned to me, “the woman you love? Don’t make me laugh, Christian. What does that make Aurora?”
“I already told you I was done with her. I don’t love her.”
“You find that love for her because neither of you can be together. Think about Robust Technology for once in your life.”
Fiona tried to pull her hand away from mine, but I was determined to see this through. If not for her, then for myself. I had no idea why my parents were under the impression that I had to sacrifice myself to save the company. It was nice being the CEO of Robust Technology, but I didn’t even feel like the CEO with the way they were breathing down my neck.
“What has the company got to do with this?”
“That’s why you’re not going to make a good CEO. Everything you do is a reflection of the company, and you being with this girl-”
“You know her name. It’s Fiona.”
“Think of the company!” my Mom said again, and it dawned on me that this wasn’t an argument I could win just like that.
“I’m willing to step down as the CEO of Robust Technology if this will be a problem.”
“Christian,” Fiona said from behind me, but I kept my eyes on my Mom, who stood with eyes wide open and mouth slightly agape.