14. Chapter Fourteen ~ Mia
Chapter Fourteen ~ Mia
After Brayden and I had sex, I stayed away from the cabin the next day. I was emotional, in my thoughts about getting pregnant and how oblivious he was to the fact. My mind was everywhere. Everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
“Did I enjoy the sex, hell yeah,” I told Tasha over the phone. “But I don’t know Tash, I think we might’ve made a mistake here. I mean, we haven’t even gotten over everything with Trent just yet and here we are having sex.”
“I knew you would,” she laughed. “I’m just being honest here; I knew there was no way you’d be able to stay away from a fine man like that. It makes it even harder because you guys have history. Shit, turn it into another love story.”
It was tempting. A love story about my relationship with Brayden was a story like many others. It would have been nice to give the women who followed me a story to relate to, but I had bigger fish to fry.
“Whose side are you on here?” I laughed. “You are not supposed to be encouraging this.”
When I thought about just how fine Brayden was and how good our sex was, even if we were limited to one position, it made me feel warm down there.
“He is fine though,” I continued. “And man, does he know what he’s doing with it. If you know what I mean.”
Tasha and I laughed about my rendezvous with Brayden until I made it back to the cabin. I thought he’d be in bed when I got back, but he was still awake and apparently waiting for me to return. The first thought that came to mind was great, now he’s becoming possessive. But I was wrong.
“I found Trent.”
I immediately dropped my bag to the floor and my mouth fell open in awe. I had waited so long to hear those words; they sounded like a dream.
“What? How?” I questioned. “Did you talk to him?”
“No, not yet.” He said. “I was doing some thinking today and got a funny thought about Florida. Remember how Trent always said he would like to move to Florida someday? Well, I made a list of all the prisons and camps down there and started calling. Luckily, I ran into the warden who has him. The guy sounds like a real jackass, but at least we know where he is now. We can do something for him.”
I was so filled with joy I started sobbing. I wanted to book a flight that very same night and do whatever I had to do to see him, but Brayden said it was no use. There were a lot of hoops to jump through before Trent was able to get a visit.
“You don’t want to make a trip all the way out there just to be turned away,” he said. “There’s paperwork and a background check that has to be processed before you’re able to go on his visitors list. And by the sound of the warden, I'm willing to bet they’ll drag their feet processing it.”
“Can’t Uncle Joe put a word in?” I rushed. “He knows people in Florida.”
“Yeah, yeah. Uncle Joe said let him know what needs to be done and he’ll get it done. No worries.”
We were both ecstatic. Too ecstatic to sit inside for the night. So, after assuring me he’d be fine to take a ride in the car, Brayden and I went to our favorite little diner near one of our favorite drop offs.
It was a brunch diner that sold breakfast and lunch all day, and all night. I loved going there because they had the best pancakes in town, while Brayden always opted for their steak. He said even though it was a small mom and pops diner, they put the most love into their food.
“I can’t believe you found him,” I said, as we sat in our booth waiting for our food. “I thought it would take months, maybe even years before we heard a word from him.”
“I know right. I made so many phone calls today, I don't even want to look at my phone for a long time.”
I appreciated Brayden for all the work he put in to find Trent. I had the same idea at one point in time, but I gave up after being turned away so much. Trent being in Florida never even crossed my mind. He always talked about going when we were younger, but I never thought he would be sent there to prison.
“I haven’t been here at this diner since you and I last came,” Brayden said.
“Oh yeah?’ I blushed. “How come?”
“I don’t know. Too many memories,” he shrugged.
When our food came and he was preoccupied with cutting his steak into tiny pieces like always, I took a moment to admire him. His dark lashes and fluffy eyebrows. His cheekbones and strong facial structure; they were all the things that made him, him. He was a big sexy bear of a man, but still had a gentle heart underneath it all. I missed having him close.
“The minute they say it’s okay to see him, I'm going to fly out there,” I said.
“It’s a long flight.”
“I don’t care how long it is. It's been even longer since I've heard from Trent.”
Flight time didn’t matter to me. I would travel the widest ocean if it meant getting to talk to my brother again. Seven years was a long time to go without speaking to someone you loved dearly; someone you saw every day of your life.
When Trent got taken away, a part of me died. And even though there was nothing I could do to get him out; to bring him home, I knew seeing his face again, or hearing his voice would bring me some kind of closure by knowing he was alive and okay.
“What do you think he looks like now?” I asked. “Do you think he put on some muscle like a real prisoner?”
“I hope so,” Brayden laughed. “He was always tall and scrawny. He'd be surprised to see what I look like now.”
He wasn’t lying. I was surprised to see how much Brayden had grown in size over the years. His arms were so full and thick with muscle. His legs and stomach too. The man was a walking, talking muscle machine.
“You look really good,” I said. “Good job keeping up with yourself even though you were in a dark place.”
He nodded his head and continued eating his steak. Steak was his thing. He'd take me out for steak at least once a week when we were younger. I remembered going on my first date with Brayden. It was really romantic and cute; before I even knew what romantic and cute was.
“How come you haven't dated anyone new?” Brayden blurted out. “I thought celebrities had their pick of the litter. Every guy should be throwing themselves at your mercy.”
“At my mercy,” I chuckled. “Who’s to say they haven’t? I just haven’t been interested in dating. My career is very demanding, and I don’t want someone in my life who stresses me out. Then I won’t be able to write.”
Brayden knew how much writing meant to me. It saved my life. If it weren’t for writing, I probably would have ended up in some mental institute because I couldn’t cope with all the stress in my life. It was funny; writing was a trait I picked up from my mom, but she couldn’t stand the fact that I was more dedicated to it than she was.
“How come you haven't dated anyone new?” I asked. “I’m sure there was a trail of women on your coattail the minute I left. All the girls wanted you.”
Brayden laughed and set down his fork like he was about to give me a real specialty on who wanted him. We both knew he was the talk of the town amongst the girls. I'd even gotten into a few fights because of him.
“All the girls may want me,” he said. “But I'm a one woman man. And I just haven’t found anyone who makes me feel the way you used to. So, I stay to myself because commitments aren’t really my thing these days. Unless it’s for my job.”
His honesty gave me butterflies. I couldn’t help but shy away and drop the conversation of dating for a moment. I was sure that if we kept talking about it, we’d end up talking about us dating and that was a touchy subject that I didn’t know how to have after having sex with him again.
Our little outing went well. We had food, dessert, played a few games of I spy, and then we headed back to the cabin. On our way back, Brayden suggested we stop at our favorite drop off and talk for a while like we used to. I had nothing planned for the rest of the night, or the next morning, so I was all in. Besides, I enjoyed hearing what he had to say.
“What do you think it’s like in Florida?” he asked.
“I’ve traveled to Florida a few times,” I said. “It's hot, I'll tell you that. Busier in certain areas than others. The beaches are beautiful out there.”
“I've heard that before. Maybe I'll take a trip one of these days,” he said. “I haven’t gone anywhere outside of California in a long time. I used to dream about traveling the world, seeing all kinds of things. Trent and I planned a few trips before the accident.”
Brayden and Trent planned a lot of things when we were young. Some of those things they accomplished, but a lot of them flew away in the wind. It was mostly because they were too busy partying and hanging out all night to really commit to their goals.
Brayden and I fought about that a lot at the end of our relationship. I wanted him to get serious about life. It sucked that it took something so tragic for him to see that.
“If you could go back in time and change the events of that night, would you?”
I looked him square in the eye for an honest answer. Even if he said no, I wanted to know why. There was no pressure on him to say yes. I was aware that there were things in his life that happened after the accident that might’ve been affected if he could have gone back in time, but I still needed an answer.
“In a heartbeat,” he said. “Nothing in my life is too important to change. If I could go back in time and talk some sense into Trent about that night, we would have ended the night drinking at the cabin instead of joyriding. Nothing good came after that.”
His truth was a relief and a disappointment. The fact that he didn’t see all the good in his life after the accident felt dark. I wondered how he slept at night not being appreciative that he walked away with his life, and his freedom. He had a job that he loved, an uncle who loved him to pieces and made sure he was okay no matter what. Those were all things I considered amazing.
“I appreciate your honesty,” I said. “I wish you’d see the joy in life though. I was sad and angry about Trent for a long time but I'm slowly starting to see that we can’t live our lives in the dumps. Trent wouldn’t want that. There are so many things, and people, to be proud about and to feel joy in every day. It's all about perspective and being appreciative.”
Brayden hung onto my every word as we sat and watched the moon, and the stars twinkle by. We talked for a good hour or so before taking it in. All in all, it was a great night. I silently craved more from him at the drop off, but I forgot about his legs.