Chapter 2
FLYNN
My head is pounding. My mouth is fuzzy, like it’s stuffed with week-old socks.
Something heavy is on my chest. From how warm and solid it is, I’m guessing a person.
I don’t remember getting back to the farm, let alone with anyone.
I don’t remember much at all. From the awkward position I’m in, I think I’m lying on a sofa, my head, neck, and shoulders propped against the arm.
My left foot is on the floor. My right leg is pinned to the back of the sofa by the same heavy weight that’s on my chest. I open my eyes and snap them shut again.
The light hurts, and there’s too much of it. I'm going to throw up.
I take a few deep breaths and open my eyes. The light makes the pain in my head ten times worse. I was right. The weight on my chest is a person. A guy, to be precise, with dark blond hair and huge muscles. His face is hidden.
Footsteps pad past the open door before backtracking. A man with red hair, wearing pyjama bottoms, and a slice of toast in one hand, stops, stares at me, and uses his free hand to give me a thumbs up.
“Looks like you had a good night.” He grins and wanders off.
Which is when I realise I’m naked. The guy lying on top of me is naked. And a random stranger just saw us. Wonderful.
I nudge the naked guy on top of me.
He groans, smacks his lips, and wraps his arm around me. “Too early.”
I have no clue what time it is, but I can’t stay here, like this, with the door wide open. How many housemates does this guy have? Where am I? How did I get here?
I nudge him again, a bit more insistently.
He moans, pushes up, and lifts his head. Jimmy! How did that happen? The horror on his face reflects the gut-wrenching dread I’m feeling.
“What the fuck?” He gets off me, sits on the other side of the sofa, and stares.
I feel even more naked. More exposed. I glance around for my clothes.
How did my chinos end up on the TV? Why is one of my socks hanging over the light shade?
Where’s my underwear? I find my overshirt and hug it over my cock.
My chest and stomach are covered in white, crusty stuff. It’s all over his stomach, too.
“Oh. Fuck. Did we—?” No. No. We can’t have done. I can’t breathe.
I force myself into a more upright position—big mistake. The room spins. I clap my hand over my mouth and breathe through the nausea.
Don’t throw up.
I wait for the feeling to pass and then drag my hand through my hair, tugging so that the pain will bring me to my senses and help me remember.
“What the fuck happened last night?”
Jimmy shrugs. “I don’t remember. But we can’t have—”
“No. We can’t have. We wouldn’t have—” Oh, God, but from the feel of my arse, I’m pretty sure we did.
I groan and bury my face in my hands, breathing deeply and slowly.
I look up sharply. Pain lances through my skull.
“Did we—?” Wide-eyed, I glance around. I don’t see a condom anywhere.
His dick isn’t gloved up. “No. No. No. This isn’t happening. ”
“We didn’t.”
I narrow my eyes. “Are you sure?”
He gulps. “No. But I wouldn’t have. You’re— My brother’s— My twin’s— I wouldn’t.” He rubs his neck and then taps his temple, his face contorting. “Oh, shit. I think we did.”
Why is he sitting there with everything on show? I don’t even want to think about how ripped he’s got since I last saw him. He’s— No. I can’t go there. I can’t.
“It’s coming back to me,” he says.
It’s coming back to me, too. Only in bits and pieces, but enough to be certain we did have sex and that I was into it at the time.
I had sex with my ex-husband’s twin brother.
I’m a horrible, terrible, awful person. Yes, we were drunk, but is that an excuse?
And what does it even mean? Nothing. It means nothing.
We were drunk. I have a skull-splitting headache and parched throat to prove it.
“We didn’t use protection. Did we?” What the fuck did we use for lube? I stare around the room again, until I locate a bottle of baby oil.
Jimmy stands and searches the room. Under our scattered clothing, under the coffee table, and TV stand, he even gets on his hands and knees to peer under the sofa and chairs. He stops, rests his hands on his powerful thighs, and sighs.
“It doesn’t look like it.”
“Fuck.”
“We’ve already done that.”
I flip him off. I am not in the mood for jokes. If anything, I want to cry. I slept with my ex-husband’s twin brother. I’m an awful person.
“Sorry. That was a shitty thing to say,” Jimmy says.
I nod to accept his apology, draw my knees up to my chest, and cover my bottom half with my shirt.
“Look. It happened. We can’t take it back.”
“Jimmy…”
“What we can do is forget about it and move on.”
“Yeah. Yeah, we should.” Only there’s the not-so-little issue of us having unprotected sex. “I haven’t slept with anyone else since—” I bite my tongue.
“Since Billy.” The bitterness in his voice makes me pull back.
I nod. “And I got tested after we got divorced. Not that I thought there was any need to, but…” I sigh and hug my legs.
“Some guys like to see results, others don’t care,” Jimmy says in a matter-of-fact voice.
“Right.” Not that I’d know. Until last night, I’d only dated one guy and only kissed one guy. Only slept with one guy. Now Jimmy knows that, too.
He finds his underwear and pulls it on. It’s skimpy, tight, and white, and emphasises the size and shape of his cock. Not that I should be looking.
He sits on the sofa. “I’ve slept with lots of people.”
I hold my breath.
“I’ve got test results, too. For the record, I’m not in the habit of having drunk, unprotected sex with random people.”
Ouch. I flinch.
“But, we should get tested in a couple of weeks, just to be sure,” Jimmy says.
I nod and set a reminder on my phone.
“Last night… The way I remember it… It was consensual. And I’m not just saying that so you don’t call the police,” he says.
“Don’t worry. That’s how I remember it, too.”
My memory is still hazy and patchy. I’m not sure I want it to come into sharp focus or for all the blanks to be filled in.
I remember enough to know I wanted him, and that the sex was quick and clumsy.
I’m pretty sure we were as drunk as each other, probably one drink off paralytic.
If only we’d had another drink, this would never have happened.
“You’ve not slept with anyone since you got divorced?” he asks.
I shake my head.
“Why?”
“I’m not ready for another relationship.”
He laughs. “Sex and relationships are not the same thing.”
I lift my chin. “All right, I wasn’t ready to sleep with anyone else.” Except I did. I slept with him.
He whistles. “I don’t get it. Angus is on a dry spell, too. I like sex too much to abstain.”
I press my lips together.
“Too much information?”
“Yes.”
He smiles. I wish he wouldn’t, because his smile is disarming.
It always was. He and Billy are identical twins, but I’ve always been able to tell them apart.
Of course, now Jimmy has jacked up, pierced his ears, and shaved the sides of his head, so they’ll be easy for anyone to tell apart.
The rippling muscles suit him. I need to scrub my brain out.
We all used to be friends, but when Billy and I got together, Jimmy became distant and cold.
When Billy and I got married, a month after I turned eighteen, Jimmy stopped talking to me altogether.
Was he upset because he thought I was trying to take his brother away from him?
I wasn’t. I never meant to become the wedge between them.
“I should go.” I get dressed. It’s impossible to do so without revealing myself to him. Not that he and his housemate haven’t already seen it all.
“Do you want anything? Breakfast?” he asks.
The thought of food makes my stomach churn. I put my hand over my mouth.
“Water? We must be dehydrated.”
“Some water would be good. Do you have any paracetamol?”
“Good call. I’ll fetch some. Wait here.”
Where else am I going to go?
Jimmy returns a few moments later, juggling two pint glasses filled with water and a packet of paracetamol.
He hands me one glass and pops out two pills for each of us.
I take them, then gulp down the rest of the water.
It relieves my parched throat. I need to brush my teeth. My breath must stink of stale alcohol.
Jimmy downs his water, then refills our glasses. I drink the second pint slower.
“Why are you here?” Jimmy asks.
“Uh—”
“I don’t mean in my house. In Leeds. Why are you in Leeds? You knew I was here.”
“I didn’t think I was going to run into you.
Leeds is a big city. What were the chances you would be friends with my boss’s son?
I needed a job, and I got offered one. I couldn’t refuse on the off chance I might run into you.
Besides, you’re graduating soon, aren’t you?
I figured you might go home once you did.
We’d be more likely to run into each other there. ”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m being an arse. I didn’t expect to see you again, especially not here.”
“Don't worry, I won’t tag along on any more nights out with Angus.” Now I’m being a jerk. I finish my drink. “Thanks for the water. I’ll send for a taxi and get out of your way.”
We sit in awkward silence while I wait for the taxi. Jimmy gets us another refill of water. It’s helping a lot. So is the paracetamol, which must be starting to kick in, judging by how the pressure in my head is easing. My phone beeps, telling me the taxi is almost here.
“That’s my ride.”
Jimmy, who’s dressed now, escorts me to the door and waits until the taxi pulls up outside. He puts his hand on my shoulder, stopping me from leaving. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
He drops his hand to his side and nods. “Take care.”
“You too.”
With that, I get into the taxi. I resist the urge to gaze out the window at him as the taxi pulls away. Instead, I rest my head against the headrest, close my eyes, and do my best not to throw up during the journey to the farm.