Chapter 20 Flynn
FLYNN
I’m regretting my decision to be around when Billy shows up, but I’m not going to go back on it. Tony let me leave the farm a bit early, so I would get to Jimmy’s before Billy. He doesn’t know the ins and outs of the situation, just that I’ve been a nervous wreck for days.
Jimmy was successful in his application for the flat and will move in next Saturday.
Not quite in time to show his parents around it.
We spent Wednesday tidying up and cleaning his student house, which is bizarrely empty now he’s the only one in it.
His housemates took all their stuff when they moved out, but didn’t clean, nor did they offer to chip in for a cleaner.
It seemed unfair for them to leave it all to Jimmy. They all made the mess.
We’re on the sofa, watching anime, trying to stay calm—well, I am, I can’t speak for Jimmy—when the doorbell rings.
“That’ll be Billy.” He pauses the TV.
I inhale sharply.
Jimmy hugs me. “It’s not too late to vanish upstairs. Or sneak out the back, if you want. I can handle Billy alone.”
“You shouldn’t have to. I said I’d be here, and I meant it.”
He kisses me. “You don’t have to.”
“I do.”
The doorbell rings again. I swear it sounds more impatient this time.
“Wait here,” Jimmy says.
I nod, happy to follow his request. I curl up, my pulse racing as Jimmy’s footsteps get softer, before the front door clicks open.
“Took you long enough,” Billy’s muffled voice grumbles.
“Sorry. I was in the middle of something. Didn’t Mum and Dad stay to say hi?”
“Eh, they’ll see you tomorrow. Are you going to invite me in, or leave me standing on the doorstep all evening?”
The sound of his voice makes my skin crawl.
“Come in.” Jimmy’s voice is much warmer, though there’s a note of tension in it.
The door closes with a louder-than-normal bang.
“So this is where you’ve been living for the last three years. It’s a bit of a dive, isn’t it?” Billy asks.
They must still be in the hallway, but his voice is closer now.
“It’s pretty typical for student accommodation.”
“I wouldn’t know." Billy's voice is smug. “Waste of money, if you ask me. You should have stayed at home.”
I bite my lower lip.
“I’m not alone,” Jimmy says.
“Got a boyfriend?”
“Yes.”
Every muscle in my body is tense and aching. I should have taken the chance to run away. I hadn’t realised how little I want to see Billy, especially since Angus opened my eyes to how coercive and controlling he had been. Will my ex still have power over me?
“About time. I thought you’d still be hung up on Flynn,” Billy says, his words taunting.
I frown. What does he mean still hung up on me?
“Shut up,” Jimmy hisses.
“Where is this boyfriend of yours?”
“In the sitting room. It’s Flynn.”
Billy laughs. “I might have known you’d pick up my sloppy seconds. What’s he doing in Leeds?”
I’ve had enough. I clench my teeth and my hands and stride to the door, flinging it open. Billy has a haughty look on his face, which turns bitter as he focuses his glare on me.
“Look what the cat dragged in.”
“Don’t you dare,” Jimmy says.
Despite being less muscular than Jimmy, Billy pushes him in the chest. “Fuck off.”
“I’m here for work,” I say, fighting to keep my voice calm.
“Given up on being a country bumpkin?”
“You need to shut up,” Jimmy mutters.
“On a farm,” I retort. Jimmy’s presence is emboldening.
“So you finally got the boy,” Billy says to Jimmy. “Took you long enough.”
“Shut up,” Jimmy says, his voice low and dangerous.
My head is spinning.
“He didn’t tell you, did he?” Billy seems to have no intention of staying quiet.
“Tell me what?” My voice is shaking.
“How he wanted you when we were teens. How he wouldn’t fight for you. How he let me have you.” He moves into my personal space as he speaks, making me shrink against the wall.
Jimmy yanks him back and propels him into the opposite wall with a thud. “Why are you doing this?”
“What? Telling him the truth?” Billy looks past Jimmy. “He’s fancied you for years. Fuck knows why, it’s not as if you’re good in bed.”
My face flushes with heat, and anger flashes through me.
“He was pining over you. It was oh so sweet. Only you didn't notice.”
“So, what? You decided to beat him to it?” I ask.
Billy smirks. “Yes.”
That one word is like a gut punch to the stomach. The air whooshes out of my lungs, leaving me lightheaded. Tears sting my eyes.
“He should have fought for you,” Billy carries on, either oblivious to my distress or not caring. “It should have been a competition: me versus him. But he made it too easy, so I won. It’s a shame you turned out to be the booby prize,” he sneers.
Jimmy balls his hand into a fist and raises his arm, like he’s got every intention of punching Billy in the face. His arm shakes. “Stop.”
“Don’t you think Flynn deserves the truth?
Or are you scared he won’t want you anymore if he does?
You didn’t want him enough to fight for him.
You only want him now because it’s easy.
And maybe to get back at me.” Billy turns his steely stare on me again.
“He doesn’t want you. He’s just living out his teen crush. He’ll get bored.”
“Like you did?” I whisper.
Billy flicks his gaze up and down me. “Anyone would.”
I bite my lip to stop myself from sobbing out loud.
“Why you—” Jimmy draws his arm back.
I move faster, tackle him, and catch hold of his arm. “Don’t. He’s not worth it. He was never worth it.” I don’t let go until Jimmy lowers his arm.
I square up to Billy. “You like hurting people, don’t you?
You don’t care who you stamp on as long as it makes you feel good, and big, and important.
Well, you’re not. You’re nothing but a bully.
A controlling, vindictive bully. Why didn't I see it early? Why did I waste four years of my life on you?” Tears flow down my cheeks.
“You didn’t waste four years,” Billy hisses. “I did. At least you got good sex out of it. I got nothing.”
“Except hurting your brother,” I retort. I look at Jimmy. “I’m sorry, I need to go.”
“Don’t be sorry, baby. Besides, you don’t need to go anywhere. Billy’s leaving.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You are if you don’t want a broken nose.”
Billy tuts. “What would Mum and Dad say if they knew you were threatening me?”
“Honestly? I don’t care. I want you out of my house.”
“Do they know about the two of you? They won’t be happy.”
Any bravado I was feeling vanishes, leaving me deflated.
“All that matters is that we’re happy.” Jimmy’s voice is trembling. Is there a tremor of doubt beneath his bold words? “Now get out.”
“And go where?”
“Back to your hotel?”
“How?”
“Call a taxi.”
“Why should I pay when you’re throwing me out?” Billy whines.
“Because you walked in here and decided to hurt us,” Jimmy replies calmly.
“So, yeah, I’m throwing you out. And yeah, where you go and how you get there is your problem.
And don’t even think about showing up to the meal tomorrow night.
You’re not welcome.” Jimmy strides to the front door and opens it. “Now leave.”
“He didn’t fight for you,” Billy says, spitting the words in my face. “He let me have you.” He leaves, slamming the door behind him.
I lean against the wall and wipe my hands over my face. I’m shaking.
Jimmy stands in front of me, one trembling hand on my shoulder. “Flynn?”
I look up into his fearful eyes. “Is it true?”
Jimmy’s chin trembles. “Kind of.” He gestures to the sitting room. “We’d be more comfortable in there.” His eyes are filling with tears.
I shake my head.
Jimmy blows out a breath and backsteps until his back hits the wall.
He sinks to the floor, his arms looped around his raised knees.
“Yes, I fancied you. Yes, Billy knew. And he turned it into a competition, and I—I couldn’t do that to you, Flynn.
You didn’t deserve to be some prize. So I backed off.
I thought Billy would lose interest in you the moment he realised I wasn’t willing to play his game, but he didn’t.
And then you got together, and you seemed happy. You loved him. You married him.”
“And that’s why you left?” I whisper.
Jimmy nods. “Yes. It wasn’t your fault; it was Billy’s. I hated him for using you as a playing piece in a game. And mine. I was jealous. Do you hate me?”
“Hate you?”
He nods.
I crawl across to him and hug him. “I’m feeling a lot of things, but I don’t hate you.” I press my face against his knees. “My entire relationship with Billy was a lie.”
Jimmy rubs my back. “I’m sorry.”
I look up. “I loved him.”
“I know.”
“But he only wanted me because you did. Why?” I’m sobbing uncontrollably now.
Jimmy lowers his legs and pulls me into his arms and onto his lap. He cradles me and kisses my hair, crying himself. “I should have told you.”
“I was a kid. I’m not sure I’d have listened. I’d have thought you were trying to come between us. That’s how Billy would have spun it. Why? Why did he say all that stuff? What could he have to gain from hurting us like that?”
“My guess? He wanted to tear us apart.”
“Why? He doesn’t want me anymore. He was never satisfied with me. I was never enough for him. He broke up with me.”
Jimmy puts his fingers under my chin and tilts my face up so he can kiss me on the lips. “You are enough, Flynn. I love you.”
I stroke his face. “I love you, too. Your brother is an arsehole.”
He chokes out a laugh. “Yeah, he is.”
“Why did it take me so long to realise that?”
Because I was young and Billy trapped me in his narcissistic web. I didn’t see how one-sided and unhealthy our relationship was until Angus opened my eyes.
“I just don’t get it,” I whisper. “He must have realised his revelation made him look worse than you?”
Jimmy shrugs. “He wants to be the hero of his own story. I think he believes what he said will make you hate me, not him. I didn’t fight for you, remember?”
I nod. “Thank you for not playing his games.”
Jimmy sighs. “Did I do the right thing? If I’d have known—”
I put my fingers over his lips. “You didn’t know what kind of boyfriend or husband he'd be. You had no way of knowing we’d stay together so long. He manipulated us both, Jimmy. In different ways, and at different times. It’s who he is.”
“A controlling, narcissistic bully?”
“Yes.”
“Are we okay?”
I nod and snuggle against his chest. “Yes. If this were a test, I think we passed.”
“Yeah, we did. But the biggest test of our relationship is still to come.”
I frown. “What?”
“Putting flat pack furniture together.”
I laugh and kiss him. “Oh, we’ll pass that test.”
“You think?”
“I do.” I cradle his cheek and kiss him. “What now?”
Jimmy holds me. “I need to call my parents.”
“Before Billy gives them his version of events?”
Jimmy nods.
My stomach quivers with nerves. “Okay.”
“I’ll suggest dinner. Somewhere neutral. Unlike Billy, they won’t make a scene.”
“Okay.”
“We can do this, Flynn. My brother isn’t going to control the narrative of our lives ever again.”
I smile, buoyed by his confident words. “We can do this. Call them.”