Chapter 20
Twenty
JOE
I check my reflection in the mirror one more time. I’m wearing my dress uniform to the Tribute tonight. All the veterans invited have been asked to wear them as a visible tribute to the fallen. The uniform fits me just like it did when I wore it in the past, but it feels so different to me that I do a double-take when I see myself.
My first thought is that I hope Jackie likes it. I have to correct myself; I should be hoping that Maia likes it. But I keep coming back to the thought that I really want Jackie to like me in my dress uniform. We’ve been working so hard on this Tribute together, and we’ve have had so many ups and downs, that tonight I just really want to see her happy.
“What do you think?” I ask Gidget. My dog barks happily at me. Even though I haven’t had the chance to call the shelter yet, I’ve made my decision. I’m going to make it official: Gidget is meant to be my dog. Jackie helped me realize that.
“Thanks,” I tell my pup.
Maia’s coming with me tonight as my date, but since I need to be at Violet’s home early, she’s going to meet me there. I’m nervous about the night. I’m going to need to make some remarks, and I haven’t been able to think of anything to say. Sabina is also going to share her experience, and I hope that it goes well for her.
My mind is a jumble of thoughts, as I drive across Cranberry Creek. I never thought of myself as spearheading something like this Tribute, but I know how important the program is to the hospital. And I know that this Tribute, although it started out as a way to help Sabina and others to cope with the losses in their lives, has grown to be about so much more.
I ease my car into the driveway of Violet’s home, mansion really, and drive through the gate. I assume that this gate is normally shut, and I’ll have to ring to be let in, but for tonight’s Tribute, everything is wide open. I wonder how many people bought tickets to the Tribute just to see the inside of this house. They’ll be disappointed when they find out that everything is taking place in tents on the lawn. It’s a massively impressive lawn nonetheless. From what I understand, Violet’s husband, Robert, is an avid botanist, with a specialty for roses.
Parking my car by the side of the house, I climb out and look around. I have no idea where I should go, so I send a quick text to Jackie. She doesn’t respond right away, and I wonder if I got the time wrong. We had agreed to meet early, to make sure that everything is exactly as it should be.
“Joe!”
I turn at the sound of my voice and see Jackie floating across the lawn toward me. She literally looks like she’s floating. I’m not even kidding. She’s wearing a flowy pale purple dress that swirls around her as she walks. Her short brown hair is held back with a matching headband.
“You look beautiful,” I say, my breath taken away at the sight of her.
She flushes. I’m not used to seeing her blush. “Thanks,” she says shyly. “You look very handsome, too, Joe.”
I feel my own cheeks get warm. Her compliment feels better than any I’ve ever received, and I have to remind myself that I’m looking forward to seeing Maia later. I don’t question why the thought feels more like a chore; just chalking it up to the fact that I’m nervous about my opening remarks tonight.
“So, what do you need me to do?” I ask.
Jackie laughs. “Violet has everything under control, trust me. And Addie, Ella, Marissa, and Kaylee are already here, too. We have so much help, I don’t think we need to do anything at all.”
“Wow, this really has become something, hasn’t it?” I say.
“It sure has,” Jackie says. “Sabina is really nervous, but I’m so proud of her for agreeing to say a few words about her experience. You’re all ready to introduce her, right?”
“Uh, yeah,” I say, even though that clearly isn’t the truth. Jackie narrows her eyes at me for a moment, but then must decide to let it go.
“Awesome,” she says. “I know you’ll both do great.”
Having Jackie believe I’m going to do a great job makes me think that I am going to do a great job. And without any effort, I suddenly know exactly what I’m going to say to introduce Sabina. It was sitting right in front of me all along, so all I need to do is put this feeling into words.
“Do you want to see the tents?” Jackie asks. “They’re amazing.”
“Absolutely,” I agree.
Following Jackie across the driveway and down a small hill to the tents set up on the lawn, I can see the caterers are busy setting up in one of the three tents. The speeches and the rest of the program will happen in one tent, dinner will happen in another, and dancing will happen in still another. I don’t quite understand why we need three separate tents, but apparently Violet insisted.
I’m not an event planner, so I feel fine leaving the details of things like this up to the people who know what they’re doing. All the different aspects of this Tribute could not have come together if I decided I needed to do it all on my own.
“Isn’t this amazing?” Jackie asks as we walk through all three tents. When we get to the third one, she says, “All the roses are from Robert’s gardens here.”
“This is incredible,” I say in complete awe, and I mean it. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. Every color imaginable seems represented in living color. It’s arranged in such a way that the colors seem to fade from one color to the next naturally, like a living rainbow. I can’t even imagine all that Robert must know about roses to have grown all these different colors and kinds!
I look out onto the dance floor and try to imagine dancing with Maia later. Instead, I grab Jackie’s hand, and I twirl her around onto the parquet tile. She laughs, but goes along with it. I tell myself I’m just practicing for later, but I get distracted by the sound of Jackie’s laughter. By the time we’re done spinning around the dance floor, we are both laughing and breathless.
“That was fun,” I say. “Maybe we can do it later. Save me a dance?”
Something that looks a lot like sadness flickers across Jackie’s face. She takes a step back out of my arms. “Sure,” she says, not looking up at me.
Here we are again. Jackie seems mad at me, but I have to remember that she might not be. It might be something else entirely. If there’s an opportunity tonight, I think I’ll try to actually ask her what’s going on. Note to self: The entire world does not revolve around me. The moment might have gotten awkward, but there is a loud crash from the dinner tent that distracts us. We hurry back into the second tent, relieved to find that it’s only a dropped lid. Nothing like a disaster averted to put us back on the right track.
The rest of the afternoon passes by in a blur of activity. I don’t have time to think about what might be bothering Jackie, although I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that she pops into my head more often than not. I find myself looking for her, even as I’m greeting people coming to the Tribute. By the time guests start to arrive, I’m feeling pretty relaxed.
Violet has arranged everything down to the last detail, so it isn’t until right before the Tribute is set to start, that I’m informed I will be seated on the raised platform next to Sabina. I had hoped that I could linger by the door of the tent to wait for Maia. She still isn’t here, but I have no choice. I climb the few stairs and sit down next to Sabina.
“Hey,” I say to her. Her gaze flickers to me, and I can see pure fear in her eyes. I reach out and take her hand. Giving it a squeeze, I ask, “How are you doing?”
She lets out a stuttery sigh. “Fine. Terrible. Terrified!”
“Is there anything I can do?” I ask.
Sabina shakes her head. Like me, she’s wearing her dress uniform, but unlike me, she’s swimming in hers. Now that I really look at her, she seems gaunt. I wonder how she’s eating, sleeping, and all the regular things that civilians take for granted. It’s hard for non-military people to realize how much of what you see in battle comes home with you. I realize yet again just how important this Tribute is.
“Listen, Sabina, I know that getting up in front of all these people is going to take a lot of effort,” I say. “So, if you need to be done at any point, just give me a nod and I’ll jump in. I’m sure I can babble for a few minutes.”
Sabina cracks a smile and gives me a surprised gasp of a laugh. “Thanks,” she says softly.
The opening comments start, and before I know it, it’s my turn to talk. I step up to the podium and gaze out at a crowd of people. I spot Jackie in the front row, and I decide to focus on her. I’m not nervous now.
“Thanks again for coming, folks,” I begin. “I’m honored to introduce our speaker tonight. I’ve known this young woman since she was just a kid, and I can honestly say that she is one of the kindest people I have ever met. Her empathy toward all creatures has always made her an easy friend to confide in. As adults, we followed similar paths into the military. Given our next speaker’s gentle soul, I can’t imagine how active service affected her, but I’m looking forward to hearing from her now. Ladies and gentlemen, Sabina Moretti.”
I sit back down, pleased with what I said, but wishing that I had said more. Sabina was always the steadiest of all the Moretti sisters. Gentle, quiet, kind. I really can’t imagine how she survived all she did in military life.
“Hi,” Sabina says. “First, I want to thank my sister, Jackie, for convincing me to be here tonight. And to the rest of my family for not giving up on me. Like Joe alluded to, I’ve been through a lot. And coming home hasn’t been easy. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I was still overseas.” She takes a deep breath.
“When I was on active duty, I was able to compartmentalize all the things going on around me. I could tell myself that I was part of a peace-keeping force, so I was doing what I had set out to do. I joined the military, because I wanted to help people around the world be safe from tyrannical governments. And when I was doing my job, I could believe in that mission.”
“Getting back stateside, though, has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I have nightmares and panic attacks all the time. Things I saw in combat and for a short time as a POW are constantly hovering around me. Memories of friends that were killed are never far away. So I sank into the blackness. It’s a very comforting place to be. And I would sink deeper every time I lost another friend to war or suicide. I have lost seven friends in the last year alone.”
“That’s why I’m grateful to the people at Cranberry Creek Hospital for putting this program together. They have helped things seem less bleak, more gray than black these days. I have a long way to go, but I know that, with their support, I will be able to continue to heal. Thank you for supporting this great cause.”
Sabina comes and sits down next to me. Her cheeks are flushed, and she has tears in her eyes, but she seems happy. “That was amazing,” I whisper to her.
“Thanks,” she says, looking a bit shell-shocked.
The rest of the program goes equally as well. I scan the audience a few times but don’t see Maia. She must have decided to sit in the back, since there are very few seats available in the front. My gaze does keep finding Jackie, though, and I swear every time I look at her, she’s looking back at me. Every time our eyes connect, a zip of electricity shoots along my spine. I’ve never felt anything like this before with anyone.
When the program ends and everyone heads to the dinner tent, I look around for Maia. She’s nowhere to be found. That’s when I decide to check my phone. I had it on Do Not Disturb mode when I was on the platform. Sure enough, I have three missed calls from Maia. No voicemails or texts.
I pull up her number and hit call. “Hey, Maia,” I say when the call connects. “Where are you?”
“That’s what I was calling you about,” Maia says. “I can’t come.”
“Oh? Why not?” I ask, waiting for the flood of disappointment that never comes. In fact, in a way, I’m surprised to feel something very different: relief.
“I just got an offer to write an article for a national news agency, but it’s due by midnight,” Maia says. “It’s too big of an opportunity to pass up.”
“Wow, congrats. That’s great, Maia,” I say. I mean it, too. That is a huge career step for her. I know that she’s wanted to be a journalist since she was a kid. I just didn’t know that she was still pursuing it. We haven’t really talked that much about anything substantial, I realize. I also realize that Jackie and I know a whole lot more about each other now. Jackie is the one I should be spending the Tribute with anyway. “No worries. I’ve got Jackie.”
“You do,” Maia says.
There is something in her tone that makes something else click into place in my brain; a realization, an epiphany. “Maia,” I say slowly. “I think I’m in love with your sister.”
Maia laughs. “Duh,” she says. “Anyone could have told you that. It’s been obvious since you got back.”
“It has?” I say. “That’s news to me.”
“Another ‘duh’,” Maia says with a laugh. “No offense, Joe, but you’ve never been the most perceptive person. I’ll give you a third ‘duh,’ so you don’t have to wonder. Jackie is clearly in love with you, too, so if I were you, I would go for it.”
“Seriously? She is, Maia? You’re not kidding me? You really think I should go for it?” I sputter, shocked at this whole turn of the conversation.
“Oh my gosh, yes, Joe! Get off the phone and go find Jackie already!” Maia commands, with an exasperated laugh.
So I do. Jackie’s standing on the edge of the dinner tent, watching the activity unfolding in front of her. She looks beautiful, and I feel my breath hitch in my chest. How could I have not seen this until now? All the signs were there, pointing me in this direction, but I was so busy living in the past, that I couldn’t see them. I’ve wasted too much time. Now, I’m going to act.
I stride over to her. She smiles when she sees me; actually, her whole being seems to light up. That’s for me. How could I not have seen this? “You were so great, Joe,” she says.
“Jackie?” I say.
Her brow knits with concern. “Yes, Joe?”
“I love you,” I say.
“You…what did you just say?” she asks.
I take a step closer. “I love you,” I repeat. “It’s been right in front of me this whole time, but I was too dumb to realize it. I’m in love with you.”
Jackie gasps. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my whole life,” I say.
“Oh, Joe, I love you too,” she says, her eyes shining. “I have, really, since the day I met you, way back when.”
I gape at her in disbelief, but I don’t wait for long before I close the gap between us and pull her in close for a kiss. As our lips meet, I realize that this is exactly where I am meant to be.