Chapter 23
23
A m I really about to be Jake’s girlfriend?
The thought loops in my mind as the finale of the fireworks explodes across the sky.
The red, white, and blue colors of the fireworks reflect in the lake, but I can barely focus.
Jake is great—more than great.
But this is fast.
Too fast.
I’ve done fast before, and it’s always led to heartbreak.
I need to slow down.
I lean closer into him.
God, he feels good.
And I know that’s part of the problem.
It’s easy to get lost in him.
His big arms and strong chest.
The way his arm is around me, holding me like I’m something precious, in the way his kisses leave me breathless.
But he hasn’t seen my real life yet.
He hasn’t seen me juggling work shifts, daycare pickups, and exhaustion.
Does he really know what he’s asking?
“We’re not rushing,” I whisper, looking up at him, smoke from the fireworks illuminated by the stars.
He leans down, kissing my forehead.
As the boat joins a slow procession heading back toward the pier, my mind races.
Am I ready for a boyfriend?
Do I want a boyfriend?
Jake is incredible.
But …
my life.
When we dock, I step off the boat and wave to the others before Jake and I walk together toward my car.
I am flirting with a lot of things right now.
It will be good to have a “me day” tomorrow to be with all of my thoughts.
The sound of the water lapping against the shore fades behind us, replaced by the dull hum of crickets and distant laughter from the crowd still lingering by the pier.
We walk in silence for a few moments until I find the courage to say it.
“I really like you, Jake.”
“I know.”
I swat his arm, but I’m already smiling.
“I don’t want to rush into a relationship,” I admit.
“That’s my move. That’s what I typically do, and I can’t do that anymore.”
Jake nods.
“I get it. You know where I stand. When you’re ready, I’m ready.”
Why does that make me want him more?
I hesitate, biting my lip, wanting to invite him back to my place—to stretch out this night, to keep feeling his hands on me, his lips tracing my skin.
“Come back to my place?”
“Not tonight.”
I arch a brow.
“Are you withholding sex until I’m your girlfriend?”
Jake doesn’t answer with words.
Instead, he steps closer, crowding me against the car.
His hand slides along my jaw, tilting my face up toward him.
And then he kisses me—deep, slow, consuming.
His force presses me back against the door.
I’m lost in this moment.
Completely lost in the way his tongue traces against mine, in the way his body feels solid and unmovable against me.
He pulls back just enough to murmur against my lips, “We’re not rushing. I’m respecting your wishes.”
I groan, hating and loving his restraint all at once.
Jake smirks, brushing one last kiss against my forehead.
“Goodnight, Sparky. Enjoy your ‘me day’ tomorrow.”
I watch as he walks away, my heart pounding in my chest.
I should feel relieved that he’s giving me space.
But all I feel is the ache of wanting more.