Chapter 48
48
Monday, July 7th
A t the station, my mind is anywhere but present.
It keeps replaying what happened yesterday.
What could I have done better?
What should I have done?
What can I do now?
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and a smile grows on my face, hoping it’s Claire calling me back.
Seeing the name on my screen, it’s not hers.
It’s my brother, Jeremy, and I tap to answer.
“Hey, sorry to call you while you’re at the station,” he says.
“It’s slow. All good.”
“What did I do?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, unsure of his tone.
“Usually you keep me up to date about girls, and Mom called saying you found the one .”
I shake my head.
“It’s complicated.” I sigh, still unsure what I should do about yesterday.
“How so?”
“She isn’t talking to me at the moment.”
“What did you do?”
I loudly exhale, reliving yesterday afternoon.
“Her ex is a dick. And she’s scared of letting someone in now.”
Jeremy hums.
“If she’s the one. It will work itself out.”
“I wish I knew what to do,” I say, running my hand through my hair.
“My gut is telling me that if I do something it’s only going to push her away.”
“Trust your gut. It’s never failed you.”
I shake off a memory from Iran, telling my guys to turn around.
I don’t want to think about how our tank was the only one that made it through that day.
“Look how long Tess and I dated long distance before the stars aligned,” he says into the silence.
“Be patient.”
Years.
I don’t want to wait years, but who knows how Claire feels at this point?
I consider his relationship for a moment, then confess, “Patience is hard.”
“You don’t have to tell me. No one believed me when I said I found love at a Vegas pool party. But here we are. Expecting."
“What?!”
“Yeah. That’s really why I called.”
“Congrats!”
Shit. I need to check in with Nicolas and Chris. I’ve been so lost in my thoughts about Claire since she kicked me out of her house.
Two weeks later
Sunday, July 20th
It’s safe to say she ghosted me. My last two calls went straight to voicemail. No texts. Just silence.
I know she’s scared—scared of something real, scared of what this means for her life, scared of the drama with her ex. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. Because if I let myself believe she didn’t feel the same way, I don’t know how I’ll handle that. The time we spent together was life changing, and I don’t want to imagine never seeing her again.
I’m desperate at this point. I’ve thought about showing up at High Five. I’ve thought about leaving her notes on her front step. I don’t want to push her further away, but I also don’t know how to let go.
Frustrated, I pull into the grocery store, hoping the routine of picking up my essentials will get her out of my mind for a few minutes. Pushing my cart, I nod at the familiar faces. I rarely buy cookies, but I feel like eating my feelings today. Turning my cart into the aisle, I spot Claire and Gabby. A smile immediately grows as my heart starts to race.
We were bound to run into each other at some point.
“Claire,” I call out, and she looks over. She smiles, but then it looks like she is tightening her face trying to hide it. “How are you?”
“Fine.” Her tone is tight, but her eyes flick down my body.
I’ll call that progress.
I turn to Gabby, my voice lighter. “Which cookies are your favorite?”
“These!” she squeals and points to a brightly wrapped package. She’s cute .
“Those look good. I’m hoping they will make me feel better,” I say, grabbing the pack.
Gabby also takes a package from the shelf and drops them in their cart. Claire groans, and I see how that situation isn’t great. “Let me get them,” I say, opening my wallet.
“No.”
I grumble, then an idea strikes. I remove the cookies from their cart and look at Gabby, then at Claire. I want to spend time with them. “I’d love to have you both over before these expire. I can make dinner, and we can have these for dessert.”
Gabby smiles, then looks at her mom.
“Maybe,” Claire says.
Maybe. That’s actual progress. I celebrate by overtly checking her out.
Before I can stop myself, I say, “If you ever need help completing a mission, call me.”
The tight smile on her lips. There were two opportunities for her to say no, and she didn’t. Yeah, I’ll take that progress.