Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Kash
My dick is rock fucking hard, and all I want is to kiss her and run my hands across her body and slide into her, but I have to hold back.
She smells so good, like vanilla and sugar.
Fuck, I want to devour her. When I saw the best night of the meteor shower was going to be tonight, I knew I had to take a chance and bring her.
She doesn’t open tomorrow, and I don’t have clients until later in the day, so I don’t feel bad about keeping her up late.
Even though it’s cold as shit outside, and I hate the cold, if I have a chance to snuggle with my girl under the guise of star watching, I’m taking it.
Curling my body closer to her, I put my arm around her. I can’t have my Mila getting cold. “FW is just a nickname. Like, Sunshine or Sweetheart.”
She pins me with a disbelieving look. I’m not telling her that FW means future wife because there’s a high chance she’ll flip us both out of this hammock in her haste to flee.
“Look.” I point toward the sky. “You can see Ursa Major and Gemini tonight. The meteors are just a bonus.” I plan on wishing on every single one I see.
One wish for her to love me back. Another for her to let me hold her and kiss her.
Maybe even one for her to move in with me next week.
Quietly lying back, I face the night sky.
For the first time in a very long time, I feel peace.
We lie in silence side by side for a while.
I take a quick peek at Mila and find her just watching the sky.
I’m so curious as to what she’s thinking, but I don’t want to ruin the moment.
I’m so in love with her already, I don’t know what to do with myself.
There’s something about her that calls to me.
That makes all the noise just go away. I don’t understand how I went from being anti-relationship to in love, but I’m not mad at it.
The universe just had other plans for me.
Sometimes the things we never see coming can be the best surprises. Mila is proof of that.
It’s uncharted territory for me. Being my usual, push-forward self wasn’t working with her, so now I’m trying soft Kash.
The one who’s a complete liar and says he’s okay with just friendship.
I need Mila to want me the way I want her.
I need to consume her every waking thought during the day, and every sexy dream at night.
When she’s baking, I want her to wonder if I’ll like what she makes. Spoiler. I will.
I want her to try to figure out new flavor combinations and use me as her willing guinea pig. I’ll eat anything she gives me.
I want her to wonder if I’m going to fuck her from behind, my hands leaving marks on her curves, or if I’ll stare into her eyes as I take her. Fuck it, why not both?
I need her to wonder if she’s ever going to find anyone who will love her the way that I do. Not fucking likely. So, for now, I’ll be patient, even if it kills me.
“Kash?”
Her voice breaks me from my thoughts. Not trusting myself to look at her, I respond, “Sweetheart?”
“Why do you like the stars and stuff so much?”
Taking a deep breath, I decide to give her a piece of myself. She told me about her and Mara, so I feel like I owe her something. It’s a scary thought, opening up to someone, but when that someone is her, it’s not scary at all. I want her to know all sides of me.
“My dad loved the stars.”
“Really?”
“Yep. He would take me camping and tell me stories about how early travelers used the sky to guide them. He believed that anyone we ever lost would be there too. Watching over us, guiding us along the way.”
She’s quiet for a moment, then lays her head on my shoulder. Pulling her closer, I sigh but continue. “He died when I was eleven. Worst fucking day of my life.”
Her sharp inhale of breath kills me. Don’t feel sorry for me, pretty girl. “I’m so sorry, Kash.”
“Thanks, Sunshine. He was an amazing man.”
“Can I ask what happened? We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“It’s okay,” I tell her, and I mean it. Having Mila in my arms gives me a calming strength I didn’t know I needed.
“My dad was killed in a freak accident on a construction job site. It felt like any other day. I remember talking to my mom about when he’d be home because we were waiting on him for dinner, and then the police showed up and our whole world imploded. ”
“I’m so sorry, Kash. Truly.”
“I appreciate that. He was convinced that there was nothing a glance at the sky couldn’t fix.”
Mila grows quiet for a moment, then asks, “So, how did you end up with Emma?”
A scoff escapes me before I can stop it. “My mom decided losing my dad wasn’t as bad as I thought. She was remarried and moved on before the first year was over.”
“You’re joking?”
“Nope.” I pop the word.
“But that still doesn’t explain Emma.”
“Well, when she decided she wanted to move on, she moved all the way on. After serial dating for a few months, she landed with this one guy, Michael, and decided to move out with him.”
“When you say move out...”
“Yep. Without me. I didn’t have any other family that would take me in, and after I tried to hide it for a few weeks, the counselor at school picked up on my odd behavior.
I had lost some weight, and my clothes weren’t exactly clean.
I was still on their radar because of losing Dad, so they were paying more attention than I thought. ”
“And Emma?”
“Emma was friends with the counselor and was just starting in foster care. I think I’m the luckiest out of the four of us. I got three brothers but didn’t have to go through what they did.”
Mila’s quiet for so long, I start to panic when she pulls from my arms. Even in the moonlight, I can see the anger on her face.
“That’s such bullshit, Kash. Your dad died, and the one person who was supposed to help you through that abandoned you.
Don’t tell me you didn’t suffer, Kash. God, what a fucking bitch. ”
Laughing, I stare at Mila in shocked surprise. “Ma’am. That is not appropriate language to be using.”
“Oh please, Kash. I have no doubt you’ve said worse.” She rolls her eyes, balancing her weight so we don’t topple over.
“It’s fine, Mila. I’m okay now.” I don’t say it out loud, but I’m okay because I have her. She’s healing pieces of me I didn’t realize were still hurt.
My dad once told me that I’d find someone I would need the way the earth needs the sun.
My whole life would revolve around that person.
Like the earth to the sun, I wouldn’t be able to pull away.
I’d be drawn into their gravity and not be the least bit mad about it.
I wish he was here to see just how right he was.
Lying back down, she resumes her original position in the crook of my arm.
“Is this why—”
“No more questions tonight, Sweetheart,” I cut her off.
I have no doubt she was about to ask if it’s why I haven’t had relationships, and I’m not ready to answer her.
Mila doesn’t realize the power she holds over me.
I don’t know what I’d do if one day she woke up and decided she really couldn’t be with me at all.
I mean, I’d probably cuff myself to her until she got over that feeling, but I never want her to have a reason to doubt me, or how I feel for her. To doubt us.
We lie in silence for another hour or so, staring at the stars.
We take turns pointing out different constellations and meteors as they cut through the night sky.
I make a wish on every single one. It’s cold as fuck, and I don’t want her to get sick, but I’m not ready to give her up yet.
Turning my head, I get ready to ask if she wants any of the cocoa from the thermos, but I find her asleep on my arm.
It would be crazy to sleep outside with her, right? It’s November, and maybe thirty degrees out, but we have blankets. Damn it. I hate the cold, but I want tonight with her. Cataloging her features, I note the way her brow furrows in her sleep, as if she’s fighting some internal battle.
I watch in fascination as her nose scrunches up, and then she sighs in contentment. The most important thing I focus on is how she feels in my arms. The way her body weighs nothing at all against mine. She’s all comfort and curves.
Under a blanket of stars, I gently pull my glove from one hand and skim my fingertips across her cheek, marveling at how warm and smooth her skin is.
Her lips call to me as I breathe her scent in.
They look so soft and full, begging for my touch.
I just want a little morsel. As I press my lips to hers, stealing our first kiss, I know I’d give anything to have her kiss me back, but she’s still fighting us.
My cock twitches at the contact, and I’m dying to tug off her cap, thread my fingers through her hair and hold her in place as I devour her mouth, but I can’t. Not yet.
I hope after tonight I’ve proven to her that I’m more than the playful, carefree guy I show everyone. More than the man who goes through women and discards them. I know I have more I can offer her.
Quickly pulling back, I softly whisper her name, “Mila. Wake up, Sweetheart.” Tilting her face toward mine, I freeze when her eyes open and find mine.
Blinking away the sleepiness, Mila realizes how close we are and shuffles back a bit. I clear my throat and give her one of my patented Kash grins. “You ready to head out? I think we’ve seen all the meteors we will tonight.”
Nodding her head, she avoids my eyes, fixing her hat. When she attempts to sit up, I stop her.
“Wait here. Let me get out first.”
Gently sitting up, I swing my legs over the side of the hammock and attempt to stand up.
“Hey, Kash.” I turn at the sound of her voice, and my legs get caught in the blanket. Before I know it, I’ve lost my balance, falling out. Mila shouts in surprise, so I can only assume she’s tumbling out too because of me.
Quickly grabbing a hold of her, I pull her to the side, taking the brunt of the fall onto the cold ground. When I land, I must let out a groan or grunt because she looks at me with worry.
“Oh my God, Kash. Are you okay?” Mila is straddling my waist, leaning over me with concern marring her features. Even in the dark, I can see her eyes roaming over me. Our blankets are tangled around her back; I can feel her heat through her pants and now I’m fucking hard.
The image of her in the same position but naked in my bed flits through my mind. My hands move to her hips to hold her in place. “Oh, I’m perfectly fine, Sweetheart.”
Rolling her eyes, Mila stands up, and brushes against my dick. She levels me with a dirty look as she shakes her head. “You are something else, Kash.”
“A good something, I hope,” I retort with a wink.
I watch as she grabs the blankets and folds them quickly. Shrugging, she starts to walk away, leaving me on the ground.
“That remains to be seen,” she hollers over her shoulder.
It’s not the only thing remaining to be seen, but I’ll let her have it for now.