Chapter 29
29
DORIE
I watched Kaisen leave the room, his jaw tight, his shoulders stiff. My chest ached, but I forced myself to sit down and focus on the conversation around me. Eliza was laughing with the bridesmaids about something trivial—something about the floral arrangements for the ceremony. I tried to smile, to nod along, but my mind was elsewhere.
A woman came by and asked what I wanted to drink. I glanced around the table and noticed the women were all drinking martinis.
“Martini, please. Dirty.”
“I ordered you the chicken,” Eliza said.
“Thank you. Sorry I’m so late.”
“No worries. Cullen had just toasted Kaisen before you walked in.”
“For what?” I asked.
Eliza laughed. “For the hotel. The dinner. The private jet and all the other things he’s been doing for our wedding.”
Of course.
Why did I feel like this? Why did I care so much about him walking away? It wasn’t like we were anything more than what? Friends? Acquaintances? I wasn’t even sure anymore. All I knew was that seeing Samantha draped over him like that had felt like a slap. And the way he hadn’t exactly pushed her away? It shouldn’t have bothered me. But it did.
“Dorie, you okay?” Eliza asked.
“Yeah,” I lied, forcing a smile. “Just tired. Long day.”
Dinner was served shortly after. The conversation at the table buzzed around me, but I barely registered any of it. The martini arrived. I took a long sip, letting the sharp, salty taste wash over me. The chicken looked perfectly roasted, but I had no appetite. I poked at it with my fork, pretending to eat while my mind raced.
I was going to pretend like seeing Eliza’s friend practically draped over Kaisen’s lap didn’t affect me. I was going to act like it didn’t sting, like it didn’t make my chest tighten and my stomach churn.
But in the back of my mind, I knew Samantha was more his speed. They could attend the swanky parties in New York and pose for pictures on magazine covers. They were more suited for one another. He could buy her Escalades and whisk her away to a tropical beach and watch her parade around in a tiny bikini.
There was no way I was going to wear a piece of string and two tiny scraps of fabric. At least not in public.
I did my best to participate in the conversation. Eliza was carrying on about her dress.
“It’s everything I ever dreamed of and more. The fabric is this gorgeous satin that just cascades like water.”
I nodded along as I ate. In the back of my mind, I was thinking about Kaisen. Where did he go? I glanced down toward the other end of the table to make sure Samantha was still there. It wouldn’t surprise me to discover she had snuck off to be with him.
Kaisen never returned to the dinner.
“Okay, everyone!” Eliza stood after the dishes had been cleared. “It’s time to hit the club! Kaisen reserved the VIP section for us. And since it’s all in the same area, we can walk. No Ubers.”
The group erupted in cheers.
We walked through the casino toward the nightclub. I felt like I was walking through a fog. Eliza and the girls were chattering excitedly, their heels clicking against the polished floors, but I couldn’t focus on anything they were saying. All I could think about was Kaisen—his smirk, his hands, the way he’d looked at me before I left him standing on the sidewalk in the rain.
The girls were headed to one club, while the guys were going to another. I didn’t care where Kaisen was. Or at least, that was what I kept telling myself.
This wasn’t about me. I had to do this for Eliza. So, I pasted on a smile and did my best to look excited for the night.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Eliza said and squeezed my hand. “We never got to do stuff like this when we were younger. It’s nice to have you here, you know?”
I nodded. “Yeah, it’s nice.”
The VIP section was a blur of neon lights, thumping bass, and clinking glasses. I sat on the edge of a plush velvet couch, sipping my second martini, trying to blend into the background. The women around me were laughing, their voices rising above the music as they leaned in to share secrets and gossip. Eliza was in the center of it all, radiant and glowing with the smile of a bride-to-be.
“So,” Samantha said, her voice cutting through the noise as she leaned back in her seat, her dress riding up just enough to be deliberate. “Who’s making the first move on Kaisen tonight?”
The women laughed, some of them glancing around as if sizing up the competition. My stomach twisted, but I kept my face neutral, my fingers tightening around my glass.
“I mean, he does look like he would be really, really good in bed,” another one said. “Just a lot of fun.” She giggled, her eyes darting to Samantha, who smirked like a cat who’d already claimed the cream.
“Single and very generous with his billions,” Samantha added, swirling her drink lazily. “He’s the kind of man who knows how to treat a woman.”
My jaw tightened, but I kept my gaze fixed on my martini, watching the olive bob in the glass.
Samantha set her glass down on the table, her red lips curling into a sly smile.
“Okay, ladies,” she began, her tone dripping with mischief. “Let’s be honest. We’re all thinking the same thing. That club they’re at? It’s where the real fun is happening. And I, for one, don’t plan on sitting here all night while they’re over there living it up. Don’t you want to see what your fiancé is up to?”
Eliza raised an eyebrow but didn’t protest as Samantha continued.
“Here’s the plan,” Samantha said, leaning forward and lowering her voice even further. “We wait until they’re good and buzzed—maybe even drunk if we’re lucky—then we ‘accidentally’ show up. We play it cool, like we just wandered in because we heard the music was better. Flirt a little, dance a lot, and see where the night takes us.”
I didn’t want to be anywhere near Kaisen right then. I didn’t want to see him, to hear his voice, to smell that stupid cologne that always seemed to linger in the air around him.
“I trust Cullen,” Eliza said.
“But you’re going to end up in bed together at the end of the night,” Samantha said. “Some of us would like to get a little action, too. I mean, Atlantic City is basically our Vegas.”
The conversation dissolved into a flurry of laughter and dirty jokes.
“Come on,” Samantha said. “We’re all adults here. Who’s actually going to make a move tonight? Be honest.”
One of the women rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide her grin. “Oh, please. Like any of us could compete with you, Samantha. You’ve already got your claws in Kaisen.”
Samantha pretended to inspect her nails, feigning nonchalance. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll let someone else have a turn. I mean, it’s only fair.”
“Yeah, right. You’re not the sharing type.”
I started coming up with excuses in my head, trying to figure out how to bow out gracefully.
“Kaisen, is the kind of man who just commands attention, you know? Like, you can’t help but look at him when he walks into a room. And those eyes?” She paused for effect, her lips curling into a sly smile. “God, they’re dangerous. One look and you feel like he’s already undressing you.”
The women around her laughed, some of them nodding in agreement. I stared down at my drink. I thought guys talked a lot of shit.
“And let’s not even talk about his hands,” Samantha continued, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Have you seen them? Big, strong, like he could just—” She made a gesture that sent another wave of laughter rippling through the group. “Let’s just say I wouldn’t mind finding out what he can do with them.”
My stomach churned at the thought of his hands on her. I wasn’t even sure it was jealousy. I told myself I didn’t have a right to be jealous, but I could be sad that he was going to be with someone else. Maybe he already was. He was probably at the club, dancing with someone. Not just someone. A beautiful woman that he would take back to his room while I stayed alone in my room thinking about him.
I finished my martini and turned to Eliza. “I’m really tired after the drive,” I said quietly. “I think I’m just going to go to my room and sink into a bubble bath.”
Eliza pouted, her lower lip jutting out in that way she’d perfected as a child. “No, Dorie, you can’t leave! This is your weekend too. Come on, stay with us!”
I shook my head. “Eliza, I?—”
But she cut me off, her tone pleading. “Please, Dorie. Just for a little while. You never let loose. You’re always working, always taking care of everyone else. Let us take care of you for once.”
Tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn’t hold it together much longer. “Eliza,” I said, my voice breaking. “I’m having a really hard time right now. I just need to be alone for a minute.”
She blinked at me, clearly confused. “What? Dorie, what’s wrong?”
I shook my head and offered a small smile. “Nothing. It’s fine. I’ll see you in the morning for the spa day, okay? Just enjoy your night. Don’t let them get you into any trouble.”
I stood up and hugged Eliza quickly before slipping away from the table. The pounding music was giving me a migraine. I hated the club scene and being in a shitty mood didn’t make it any better.
I weaved through the crowded casino. My vision blurred with tears as it all weighed down on me. Why couldn’t I have it all? The hot guy. The money. Success. What was so wrong with me that I always seemed to fall short? I was tired of busting my ass day in and day out and never getting even a fraction of the success of my sister and her friends.
I barely noticed when I slammed into someone. The guy stepped out of my way, muttering an apology, but I didn’t look up. I couldn’t. I was on the verge of bursting into tears, and I didn’t want anyone to see.
Why did this hurt so much? Why did I care so much when Kaisen was the reason I might lose everything? It made my chest ache in a way that went beyond physical pain.
I pushed through the casino and walked through the lobby. I couldn’t cry about losing a man I never had. But I could mourn the loss of the way he’d looked at me, the way he touched me, the way he’d made me feel like I mattered. Knowing he was going to be with another woman, giving her the attention I longed for, felt like a knife to the heart.
I made it to my room, the luxurious suite that was likely paid for by Kaisen himself. I slammed the door behind me. A bath did sound like a good plan, but I couldn’t stop moving. I was pacing, torn between wanting to hate him and realizing that I was falling head over heels for him. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t just turn it off.
There was a knock on the door. I stopped and stared at it. Eliza had come to check on me. I did not want her to miss her bachelorette party because of me.
I jerked open the door to find Kaisen standing there.
For a moment, we just stared at each other, the air between us thick with tension. He stood there looking all hot and sexy. That was the last thing I needed to see.
“Dorie, we need to talk.”