Chapter 38
38
KAISEN
M onday morning hit me like a freight train. I hadn’t slept much—couldn’t sleep much—not after spending a night without Dorie. It was ridiculous, really. I’d gone my whole life without her, and now one night apart felt like torture. My mind was racing, my chest tight with a determination I hadn’t felt in… well, ever. I didn’t want to spend another night without her. I didn’t want to spend another day without her. And that realization had me doing something I hadn’t done in over a decade.
This was not me. I was not the guy that got sprung. I didn’t fall head over heels in love. I wasn’t the kind of guy who spent nights tossing and turning over someone. I wasn’t the kind of guy who felt his chest tighten at the thought of being apart from someone for even a day. Love—real love—had always seemed like something that happened to other people. It was for guys like Cullen, who wore their hearts on their sleeves and talked about forever like it was a given. Not for me.
The way I thought about her baffled me. I had never really analyzed people before. I met them and either liked them or I didn’t. Simple.
But not with Dorie. It wasn’t just her smile or the way her laugh could light up a room—though those things were enough to make my chest ache in the best way. It was her . The way she carried herself with this quiet strength, like she’d faced the world head on and come out stronger for it. The way she poured everything into that bakery, like it wasn’t just a business but a part of her soul. The way she didn’t take crap from anyone, especially not from me. And the way she acted like she wasn’t amazing. She was humble and kind and so real.
Then there was the way she looked at me. She didn’t try to fix me or change me. She just accepted me. That made me want to be better. For her. For us.
It wasn’t even seven o’clock, but I knew what I had to do. I threw off the blankets and headed for the shower. I didn’t even bother taking the time to make myself coffee. I rushed out of the penthouse, phone to my ear as I called the bank manager.
Twenty minutes later, I found myself at the bank, standing in front of the vault where my family kept their lockboxes. I hadn’t been here since my mom died. Not once. But today, I was spurred by something I couldn’t quite name. Maybe it was love. Maybe it was desperation. Either way, I wasn’t leaving without what I came for.
The attendant led me into the vault, the heavy door closing behind us with a soft click . I hesitated for a moment, staring at the small box that held my mom’s things. This was basically my mausoleum. Not mine, but my mom’s. I put her things here and always expected to come back for a visit but never did. To be here now felt strange. My fingers brushed over the cold metal before I finally opened it. Feelings washed over me. Nostalgia. Sadness. Hurt.
I took a deep breath and looked into the box. Inside were pictures, letters, and a few pieces of jewelry. My mom’s jewelry. I sifted through the items, smiling to myself as memories of her flooded back. She’d always been so full of life, so full of love. I could almost feel her arms around me. I took a second and closed my eyes, leaning into that feeling.
I opened my eyes and pulled out a small stack of photographs. The first one was of her and me on my fifth birthday. She was crouched beside me, her arms wrapped around my little body, both of us grinning at the camera. I could almost hear her laugh. The sound always made me feel like everything was going to be okay.
“My little man,” she’d called me. “You’re going to do big things, Kaisen. Big, amazing things.”
I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. She had always believed in me. Even when I pushed her away, rolled my eyes at her pep talks, or told her to stop fussing over me. She never stopped. Not once.
If I ever met a genie, I would ask for one day with her. Just one day. I wanted her to see my success. All those pep talks paid off. I supposed if I could have any wish, I would wish she never got sick, but that was a lot to ask.
I put the pictures away and reached into the box to get what I had come for. She’d left me something special—a pair of diamond earrings. They were beautiful, timeless, and special. I picked them up and smiled, remembering her wearing them. There was something else that caught my eye. Her engagement ring. It was simple but elegant, just like my mom.
After she died, shit got messy, thanks to my dad. They were still married when she died. Most of her things were tied to the family estate, AKA my dad. But she had managed to leave me some things in a direct gift. Her jewelry box. She didn’t give me all the bullshit jewelry my father had given her over the years. Just a couple of pieces that meant something to her. And a letter.
I reached for the letter that I had read only one time. I put it in the safety deposit box with the other mementos.
I opened the letter and smiled at her unmistakable handwriting.
“For my son,” it began. “One day, when you find the person who makes your heart feel full, give them these earrings. And if you’re ready, give them this ring. Love is the greatest gift we can give, and I know you’ll find it. Love, Mom.”
I read the letter twice, my throat tightening. Dorie was the one. I’d never been more sure of anything in my life. I used to think there was no chance I would ever find someone to give the jewelry to. Hell, I went out of my way to make sure I never found someone.
Once again, my mom was right.
If I ever did get that one day with her, I would tell her she was right. She’d smile, that knowing smile that said she already knew that. But she would never say she told me so.
Damn, I wished like hell she could meet Dorie. I knew my mother would love her. And Dorie would love her.
Giving Dorie the earrings would be a way to “introduce” them to one another. Dorie was the first woman that I had met that was worthy of the earrings and the connection to my mother. I slipped the ring into my pocket and held the earrings in my hand as I closed the box on my childhood memories.
“Kaisen?”
I turned, my heart sinking as I came face to face with my father. He looked older, his hair more gray than I remembered, but his eyes were the same—sharp, calculating, and always a little cold.
“Dad,” I said, my voice flat. “What are you doing here?”
The fucking bank manager. I should have known he would call my father and tell him I was coming in.
He raised an eyebrow, stepping closer. “I could ask you the same thing. It’s been years since you’ve been here. What are you after?”
I hesitated, then held up the earrings. “Mom’s earrings. I’m giving them to someone.”
His eyes narrowed, and I could see the gears turning in his head. “Someone special, I take it?”
“Yes,” I said. “My girlfriend. The woman I plan to marry one day.”
My dad’s expression didn’t change, but I could see the skepticism in his eyes. “And who is this woman?”
“Her name’s Dorie,” I said, trying to sound casual. “She’s a baker. Lives in Cape May.”
My dad’s lips twitched. I braced myself for whatever was coming next. “A baker,” he repeated, his tone dripping with condescension. “In Cape May. And you think she’s ready for… all of this?” He gestured vaguely, as if “all of this” encompassed everything about my life—the money, my reputation, him.
“Do you know who you are?”
“Yeah, I think I do,” I answered sarcastically. “Do you know me? Don’t answer that because we both know you don’t.”
“You have a reputation. You said she’s a baker. I’m guessing it’s not a five-star bakery. She’s not going to be ready for your life. For the public scrutiny.”
“She’s strong,” I said. “She can handle it.”
“Can she?” my dad asked, his voice sharp. “Do you even know what you’re asking of her? Her life would be public, Kaisen. Every move she makes, every mistake she makes, will be under a microscope. And the money—yes, she’ll have it, but it comes with a price. The stress, the expectations, the people who will try to use her. Are you sure she’s ready for that?”
I opened my mouth to argue, but the words caught in my throat. He wasn’t wrong. I hadn’t thought about any of that. I’d been so caught up in how I felt about Dorie that I hadn’t stopped to consider what being with me would mean for her.
My dad must have seen the doubt in my eyes because he pressed on. “And what about you? Are you ready for this? You’ve spent your entire life avoiding commitment, avoiding love. What makes you think you’re any different from me?”
I flinched, his words hitting harder than I wanted to admit. I’d spent years trying not to be like him, but standing here now, I couldn’t ignore the similarities—the way we both made decisions, the way we both shut people out. Was I setting Dorie up for the same pain my mom had gone through?
“I’m not you,” I said. “And Dorie’s not Mom.”
My dad studied me for a moment, then nodded. “Maybe not. But think about what you’re asking of her. And think about what you’re asking of yourself. You’ve hated me all these years because of what you think I did to your mother.”
“I don’t think, I know,” I shot back.
“Fine. You know. And now you’re going to put another woman through that?”
I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. Instead, I closed the lockbox and turned to leave. “It was nice seeing you, Dad,” I said. “Always a pleasure. Take care.”
He didn’t try to stop me. I didn’t look back. But as I left the bank, the earrings felt heavier than they had before. Was I making the right decision? Could Dorie handle this? Or was I setting us both up for failure?
Leave it to my dad to fuck up my happiness once again.
I headed into the office for the meeting I had to attend. My head was not in the game. As soon as it was possible, I left the office and went back to the airport.
By the time I arrived in Cape May, I was feeling better. I’d been texting with Dorie all day, and hearing her voice—even through text—had a way of calming me down. I was looking forward to taking her out tonight, to seeing her smile, to holding her in my arms.
Fuck my dad. He didn’t know me or Dorie. He didn’t know what either of us could handle.
Liam and Marcus left a message earlier that they had decided to stay in New York another day. That was fine with me. I wasn’t used to roommates, and quite frankly, I didn’t like feeling like I lived in a frat house.
My phone rang while I was shaving. I glanced at the screen and saw it was Dorie.
“Hey,” I answered with a smile. “I was just thinking about you.”
“Kaisen, the ovens at the shop are officially, horribly broken,” she blurted out. “I need to bake Eliza’s cakes tonight, or I won’t have time to ice them this week. I have no other options. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to take a raincheck. I’m going to be up all night and then I have to work in the morning.”
I could hear the panic in her voice. “Hey, it’s okay,” I said, trying to sound calm. “Come over to my house. I’ll help you bake some cakes. We’ve got the double ovens. It’ll go twice as fast.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line. “You’ll help me bake?”
“Yeah,” I said, smiling despite the situation. “I’m not a baker, but I can follow instructions. And you’re an expert. You’ll tell me what to do. We’ll figure it out.”
She let out a shaky breath. “Okay. Okay, I’ll be there soon.”
“Good,” I said. “And Dorie? It’s going to be okay. I promise.”
“Thank you, Kaisen.”
I hung up the phone, already mentally preparing for a long night of baking. I couldn’t help but smile. This wasn’t how I’d planned to spend the evening, but if it meant being with Dorie, I didn’t mind. In fact, I was looking forward to it.