Chapter 15 Richard
RICHARD
We chat, sing, and talk about the gorgeous scenery throughout the drive to the cottage, and it is terrific.
I’ve never known a journey go by so quickly.
We collect the keys and then let ourselves in.
The cottage is small, quaint, and cosy. It takes all of five minutes to look around.
We finish our mini tour by testing out how comfortable the bed is. It’s soft and springy.
“Perfect!” Angus flops onto his bed, arms above his head, smiling contentedly.
I lay on my side next to him and stroke his cheek. “I’m glad you approve.”
He grabs my shirt and pulls me down for a kiss. “It’s just you and me for two whole weeks, Professor.”
“You, me, marking, and revision.”
“And long walks along the beach. Cooking together. Maybe a few pub lunches. Exploring the area. We could nip across the border into Scotland and hunt down some haggis.”
I grimace. “Haggis has never appealed to me.”
“I’ve never tried it, but there’s got to be a first time for everything, right? I mean, I didn’t know I liked sucking cock until I tried it.” He winks.
“They’re not the same thing at all.”
“Okay, no haggis. But how about the rest of my ideas?”
I nuzzle his lips and nose. “They sounded great.”
“Really?” He raises his eyebrows. “You and me out in public?”
“We’re a long way from Leeds.”
“True, but while the probability of seeing, or being seen by anyone we know is slim, there is still a chance. I bet you could work it out, Professor.”
I snort. “Maybe, if I were so inclined and had all the necessary data, but I’m not and I don’t.”
“Meaning you’re willing to take the risk?”
“Yes.”
Angus grins, although it fades. “Either you’re not as certain as you sound, or something else is worrying you. What’s wrong?”
I sigh. “Our entire relationship has revolved around sneaking around. What if that’s the reason we’re good together?”
He shrugs. “I guess we’ll find out over the next two weeks.”
“You don’t sound worried.”
“I’m not. You’re amazing. I love being with you. Sure, sneaking around is fun and adds a little bit of excitement, but we’re more than that.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” He runs his fingers over my side. “We’re hot sex, lazy cuddles, and fun conversations. If the only thing keeping us together was the secrecy, we’d have got bored by now. We fit together, you and I.” He blushes. “But what do I know? This is the first relationship I’ve ever had.”
“You know a lot.”
He takes my hand and lays it over his heart.
“I know what I feel in here. I know I started falling for you the moment you got into Elle for the first time. I know that, when I think about you and me, all I can see are possibilities, rather than an ending. I wouldn’t be here with you now if the only thing I got out of being with you was a high from sneaking around. Believe me?”
“I do.” And my heart is melting and trembling in response to his words.
“And I know you’ve probably been in this head-over-heels phase before. I know things went wrong. But I’m not Ashley. I’m me. So stop looking for things that could go wrong, and enjoy everything that’s going right.” He tugs at me, encouraging me to lie over him, with my legs between his.
“There’s a lot going right, isn’t there?”
“So much.” He slides his hands into the back pockets of my jeans and squeezes my arse. “What do you say to testing our bed for the fortnight, and then going for a walk?”
I purse my lips. “Or, revision first, then walk, then test out the bed.”
He pouts. “But I’ve been driving for hours and need to work out some kinks.”
“Where?”
“Everywhere. And the only remedy for driving stiffness is sex.”
I laugh. “Are you sure about that?”
“Positive. I’ll be a good student and revise tomorrow. But for the rest of the day, I want to enjoy being here with you. Please, Professor?” He looks at me with huge puppy eyes.
I sigh. “How am I meant to resist you?”
He grins. “You’re not, that’s the point.”
“Fine. Sex.” I kiss him softly. “Walk.” I peck his lips again. “Dinner somewhere nice.”
I kiss him deeply, my concerns slipping away as I lose myself in him. He’s right, there’s no point in worrying about what might be. All we need to do is focus on what we have now, which is what I’ll do from now on. Focus on how much I adore him, want him, and how happy we are when we’re together.
We walk over sand banks covered in coarse tufts of grass to the long, thin strip of beach near the cottage.
The bracing wind messes up our hair and tries to sneak inside our coats to chill us.
Our entwined hands are the warmest part of our bodies.
Only a few brave souls are on the beach, mainly dog walkers.
In another month, when the weather improves and holidaymakers arrive, dogs will be banned.
“Do you want a dog?” Angus asks.
“I’ve never thought about it. Mum is allergic to fur, so most pets were off the cards when I was growing up. We had a tank full of tropical fish.”
“Nice.”
“How about you?”
He shakes his head.
“But you live on a farm.”
“A cow farm. Which, to be fair, doesn’t mean we wouldn’t have dogs. They can be useful for herding cows as well as sheep.”
“But—?”
“I dunno. We’ve never had a dog. I think it’s because Granddad didn’t use them. Which probably means his dad didn’t, either.”
“Your family is very traditional?”
He sighs. “The men are. At least, they were until I came along. I’m the odd one out.”
I squeeze his hand. “Does that bother you?”
“Sometimes. It bothers Dad. I hate that I can’t make him proud, but I’d be miserable if I took on the farm. It’s not the life I want.”
“I’m sure you do make him proud.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t. He makes that pretty clear. Enough of my woes. We’re here to have fun.”
I stop, pulling him around to face me, and hook my thumbs through his belt loops. “No, we’re here to get to know each other better. The good and the bad.”
He tilts his head and purses his lips. “Does that mean you want to know all of my bad habits?”
I chuckle and kiss the tip of his nose. “It means I want to know everything about you, including the things that make you upset or sad.”
“And my bad habits?”
I laugh louder. “Yes, and your bad habits. I mean, how terrible can they be?”
“I eat my toenail clippings.”
My jaw drops, and I gape at him.
He cracks up laughing, wheezing and doubling over. He points at me, laughs harder, and then clutches his stomach until he’s able to control himself enough to talk between joyous bursts of laughter. “You believed me!”
“I—” I breathe a sigh of relief.
Angus straightens. His eyes are still sparkling as he continues to giggle. “I’m a really early riser—the joys of working on a farm. I’m used to getting up before dawn. It’ll take a while to break that habit.”
“I can handle that.”
“Better than a guy who eats his toenail clippings?”
I curl my top lip in disgust. “That would be a deal breaker.”
“Yeah, it would be for me, too.” He points at me. “You don’t eat your toenail clippings, do you?”
“Ugh, no. I used to bite my nails when I was a kid, but I haven’t in a long time.”
“Eh, I wouldn’t mind that if your nails weren’t scratchy. That would be a dealbreaker. No scratchy nails are going there.” He winks at me.
“You already know my nails aren’t scratchy.”
He grins. “I do.”
We turn towards the grey waves. It’s a little choppy out at sea, clouds are gathering in the sky, and the wind is picking up. Salt makes the air tangy.
“It’s going to rain,” I say.
“Probably.” Angus rests his head on my shoulder, which can’t be entirely comfortable. Is he bending his knees a little? “It’s nice here. Peaceful.”
“I bet it’s not in summer.”
“Lucky for us, it isn’t summer.”
I take a breath and stare at the ocean, vast and endless. “But it will be, soon. Your finals will be over before you know it—”
“Are you trying to scare me or convince me to get some revision in tonight?”
I chuckle. “Neither. You’ll be graduating soon.”
“Yes.”
“Which means we wouldn’t need to hide anymore. Assuming we’re still together.” I wipe my hand over my face and look everywhere but at Angus.
He puts his hand on my cheek, forcing my stare to crash into his. “I hope we are.”
“Really?”
“Yes, Professor.” He leans close, kisses me, and then stares into my eyes.
“I think— I think I might be falling in love with you.” His face glows pink.
“Not that I know what that feels like, but I know you make me happy and that my heart races whenever I think about you, and that when I’m not with you, I’m looking forward to the next time I’ll see you.
And I really, really look forward to your kisses. ”
I raise my brows. “Just my kisses.”
“All of you. You make my toes curl.”
I laugh, pull him close, wrap my arms around him, and kiss him deeply.
Being so close to him makes me warm and fuzzy inside.
My heart patters wildly. Am I in love with him?
Is it possible to fall in love with someone else so quickly?
My divorce is still weeks off being finalised.
Not so long ago, I thought I was deeply in love with my wife.
I was deeply in love with her. Those feelings didn’t disappear when I caught her with another man, but they did change, like a peach left out in the sun too long.
“Are you okay?” Angus asks, concern pinching his face.
“Yes. I was just trying to figure out how I feel.”
“About me?”
“You. Ashley.” I sigh.
“And?”
I slump my shoulders. “I think part of me will always be a little bit in love with Ashley. I’m sorry, that’s not what you want to hear.”
Angus tugs me onto the sand, so we’re sitting side by side. “I want to hear the truth. You and Ashley were together for a long time.”
I smile sadly. “We were.”
“You can’t flick your feelings on and off like a light switch, no matter what’s happened.”
I rub my arms. I’m colder now that we’re stationary. “I wish I could. It would make everything easier, including moving on.”
“Do you feel guilty because you are starting to move on?”
I press my lips together and ponder his question for several moments. “Maybe. At least a little. Shouldn’t it have taken longer?”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t plan on falling in love again.”
Angus knocks his shoulder against mine playfully. “We were having fun.”
“We were. We are. And then I fell for you.”
The corners of his lips quiver upwards, as though he’s trying not to smile or grin. His eyes are bright and full of hope. “Meaning—?”
“What I feel for you is different to what I felt for Ashley. But that doesn’t make it less real or less strong. I am falling in love with you, Angus.”
“Well, that’s handy, Professor. Because the feeling is most definitely mutual.” He grins and kisses me. “But, uh, I’ve never had a relationship before. I’ve definitely never fallen in love before. What do we do now?”
I stroke his cheek. “What we’ve been doing all along.”
“Fuck like rabbits?”
I laugh. “Be honest with one another about how we’re feeling and what we want. Everything else will follow.”
“Well, right now, I want to take a stroll with my professor, find something to eat, and then enjoy a very lazy evening together.”
“No revising?” I tease.
“Not tonight. I’m taking the day off. Is that allowed?”
“I’m not the boss of you.”
“No, but you promised to keep me on task and I expect you to do that, just not this evening.”
I cup his cheek and we kiss each other for several minutes, oblivious to everything around us, until waves lap the toes of our shoes.
We burst out laughing.
“We should go before we get soaked,” Angus says.
Water splashes on my face from above. “From two directions.”
Holding hands, we scramble to our feet and dash off the beach. We arrive at the cottage just as the rain starts to set in. The darkening sky has turned an oppressive shade of grey, and massive splatters of rain thunder on the tiled roof and pound against the windows.
“Take away?” Angus suggests.
“In front of the fire. Assuming you know how to light it.”
Angus chuckles. “I’m a farm boy. Of course, I know how to set and light a fire. You order food, I’ll get the fire going.”
“Deal.”