Chapter Eleven
Kinsley
My phone beeps from an incoming text. I nearly ignore it, but something drives me to check. I’m due for a break anyhow. I exhale, pushing away from my built-in desk and hit save on my manuscript before shutting my laptop and standing. I move to the kitchen counter, grabbing my phone.
JJ: I’m here. Please come unlock the gate.
My heart instantly flutters, my stomach twisting in anticipation and anxiety.
I don’t reply to his text, just hurry and set the phone down, sliding my feet into some flip flops.
I manage to squeeze out the door, leaving the dogs inside with the cool air.
Texas is at the miserable part of the year where you break a sweat the moment you’re in the heat, and I don’t want to leave JJ stuck out here in the blistering sun.
I can’t wait for it to start cooling down a bit at the end of September.
My stomach flips with nerves, more and more the closer I get to the fence surrounding my place.
I can easily see JJ’s head over the pickets.
He meets my stare, offering me a pleased smile.
He’s right about our size difference, and seeing him on the other side of my six-foot privacy fence looking over like it’s nothing makes his height glaringly obvious.
How I didn’t automatically think of him as the size of a football player versus a mountain man before is beyond me, especially with how much I love the game.
It’s all I see now when I look at him, a big, sexy baller.
Hmm, maybe it’s because he’s a bit lean, fitting perfectly into that quarterback body type.
And those arms, God. I understand now why they’re so perfect; they’d have to be with him launching balls all day and working out.
I Googled him last night after he left. I tried, but I couldn’t hold myself back.
Once he was gone, I could think of nothing else but him and the talk we had.
How mature and accepting he’d been, warm even.
I can’t help but wonder if others would’ve been so accepting if I’d made the decision to tell them.
It’d taken a long time before I’d admitted the truth to my ex, but I was also much younger then and scared no one would ever love me because of my diagnosis.
My ex didn’t react the same way JJ did; we barely spoke once I’d told him, and I’d cried for days from the never-ending shame and embarrassment I’d felt.
Eventually, he’d claimed he didn’t care, so I would have sex with him.
Deep down, however, I knew it was a lie.
The man had an uncanny way of making me feel like shit.
A narcissist who liked to gaslight me on the regular, while making others think he was a good husband.
One thing my Google search showed me was how big into charities and giving back JJ is, especially to our state.
It was apparent per the articles that he’s very much loved by fellow Texans, and it’s easy for me to understand why.
Part of me wants to love him, too, but I’m scared.
I don’t want to be hurt after already having dealt with so much heartache and disappointment in my life, where people are concerned, especially men.
“Hi,” he greets as soon as I’m close enough to reach the lock.
“Hi,” I return his smile and insert my key into the lock. I flick my gaze to him, then back at the lock, momentarily removing it so I can push the lever down on the hinge. “You’re tall,” I comment absentmindedly, and he chuckles.
“Just noticed it, huh? It didn’t hit me how much of a difference we have until last night. I feel like some of the blinders were removed and now we’re seeing all of each other.”
I let him in, stopping to stare for a beat like a weirdo. I can’t help it, though; he always manages to say things that take me off guard. My respect for him somehow goes up another notch on the proverbial board.
“What?”
“You’re just different from any man I’ve ever met before, and it throws me off my game a bit.”
“A good thing, I hope.” He threads his fingers with mine once I’ve closed the gate and placed the lock back in the hinge, leading us to the RV.
The touch is reassuring; he hasn’t ghosted me or kept his distance.
I wasn’t expecting to see him so soon, but I’m glad I am because somehow in the short span of time between when he left here last night and today, I’ve missed him.
I’m a sucker. I’ve got it bad, and I may as well wave the white flag and agree to all the kinky shit his young mind comes up with.
How am I going to keep up? I bet he has the stamina of a bull, ready and rearing to go at the drop of a hat, when I need so much more to get me that hot and bothered.
On normal days, it’s the Sahara Desert down south, and I don’t want to chafe his poor cock if the time for us ever comes and he goes deep diving in my pussy.
“It’s absolutely a good thing,” I respond, openly.
While silently reprimanding myself for having my head in the gutter at the moment.
I’ve already bared my soul to him; there’s basically no going back now.
He'd better hold on for the ride if he’s planning on sticking around for the long haul, which I hope he is.
He leans in, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips. “How is it the more I see you, the more I miss you?”
JJ’s question throws me for a loop, because he’s right and he’s feeling the same way I am.
He keeps showing up, and I find myself wanting him around me whenever he’s gone.
I don’t only think of him, I miss his literal presence being near me.
Like a bone-deep ache disappearing whenever he’s next to me.
In the past, men seemed to annoy me if they were all over me too much.
I like having my space, but with JJ, I don’t get the same sensation.
“It’ll only get harder with you living in Dallas and me living here,” I admit, walking up the stairs first, to head inside.
The moment we’ve both gotten into the cool air and the door’s closed, his hands are on me, tugging me to him.
His palms move to my face, cupping my jaw, only to shift to the back of my head.
He threads his fingers into my hair, holding my head in his wide palms. He leans in, carefully brushing his nose against the tip of my nose, before pressing his mouth to mine.
Holy shit. He’s intense. And addictive.
His lips slant over mine, his tongue diving inside, and I’m suddenly dizzy. My mind’s all mixed up from his taste and warmth. My stomach fills with a new round of butterflies, the flutters swarming around and around as he continues to kiss me.
He’s here.
He’s touching me.
And kissing me like I’ve never been kissed before.
He must’ve thought about things like I asked him to, and now he’s reassuring me he’s still all in on us. I pull away, panting, my palms flat against his muscular chest. He feels good, smells good, and tastes good, to the point I know I’m hooked.
“You came back,” I manage to whisper, my eyes pinned on his.
He’s sorta beautiful, and knowing the type of man he is on the inside also only makes him more attractive in my opinion.
I’m in the era where if you’re not a good human, then I don’t want you in my space, and JJ is steadily ticking all my boxes as we come to them.
He nods, gently resting his forehead to mine. “I want to keep coming back, too, if you’ll let me.”
“I didn’t scare you off after all?”
He shakes his head, fingers still stroking me affectionately. “No way. The opposite, I can’t stop thinking of you, Kinsley. You’re all I want.”
“Same,” I admit, stepping away a moment later so he can give my pups the pets they’re not so patiently waiting for.
He loves on both, telling them he has someone for them to meet too.
A new friend. And I swear I catch him whispering or a new sibling afterwards, but I can’t be certain.
Regardless, I don’t call him on it because I like the thought of my pups having another dog sibling in their future.
“So what’s the verdict? Are we doing this? ”
“Without a doubt,” He murmurs seriously, quick enough to make me not second-guess him for even a moment.
Then, his lips are back on mine, and I’m wrapped up in his strong hold, making me feel safe and cared for.
He whispers, “I’m all in with you, Kinsley.
I promise to be careful with your heart and never hurt you like those in the past have. ”
The organ in my chest squeezes with warmth and satisfaction from his words, and everything in me wants to believe him. There are doubts, of course, given my past experience with men. However, I like him too much to push him away and close myself off again.
I gently tug at the hem of his shirt, silently inviting him to follow me. He complies without hesitation, quick to thread his fingers with mine. I’m not a touchy-feely kind of girl, yet I like how he’s always reaching for me, making me feel like he can’t stand to be apart.
Leading him back to my bedroom in the cozy confines of my RV, my heart quickens with anticipation.
It’s been a long time, and I’ve been fantasizing about him from the moment I saw him standing in the store.
His big frame over me, warm and rough. Or me on top of his lap, holding on to his shoulders as I rocked back and forth.
Yes, please.
The air is thick with desire once we stop next to my bed, and I find myself seeing it through new eyes, wondering what JJ thinks of it.
My thoughts are broken up as his finger turns my chin until I’m gazing into his eyes once more.
Our hands grab for each other’s clothes simultaneously, fumbling with the fabric holding us back.
A silent agreement seems to pass between us; it’s filled with acceptance and excitement.
He’s just as eager as I am as his fingers stumble, trying to touch me everywhere all at once.
I want his big hands on me, gliding across my skin so I can feel those calluses on his palms again.
Reminding me, he’s not just a sexy man but a gorgeous football player, and he wants me.
As we undress each other, the warmth of his skin against mine sends the best sort of shivers down my spine.
His touch is addicting, spurring newfound desire within me that I thought had long been abandoned.
In this moment, there is only him and me.
The rest of the world simply fades away into obscurity, as we succumb to the undeniable pull between us.
I feel safe, accepted, and cherished. More so than I ever have in my past, and I know deep down this is what I want with him.
The soft glow of the sun shining around the curtains and blinds illuminates the room, casting shadows that dance across his impressive body.
His face reminds me of a prominent statue, but I know his beauty extends beyond his flesh into so much more.
My fingertips eagerly trace the lines of his strong jaw, his lips, then move to his broad shoulders.
I’m learning every inch of him, committing this moment to memory so I can look back on it whenever I need to remember the moment I gave my heart away to another, because that’s exactly what this is.
His sweet, minty breath against my skin is an aphrodisiac in its own as he leans in, gently kissing me all over.
Each touch of his perfectly lush lips sends a wave of building need through my body.
And after each spot he eagerly caresses, I arch toward him instinctively, wanting him to touch me there again.
This sensation of wanting to be touched is different than before; other times, it’d felt as if it was expected of me. Not because I wanted it, like I do now.
His hands move to my back, eagerly finding the clasp to open my bra. I allow it to fall to the floor with my shirt as he explores the bareness. He glides his fingertips over every curve and dip with a reverence that leaves me breathless, as if it’s his sole life purpose to worship me.
His mouth lands on my neck, his lips trailing a path of warmth down to my collarbone.
I moan with the exquisite sensation. There’s an undeniable line of tenderness and hunger fighting to tip the balance and win.
My hands reach for his soft locks, always wanting to play and wind the silky strands between my digits.
My hold on him grows impatient. I pull, urging him closer, still not close enough even though we’re nearly on top of each other, thrust against each other.
I can’t help but lose myself in the undeniable chemistry our bodies effortlessly weave together, as if I was meant to be here all along and everything in the world is suddenly right.
He pushes my cotton shorts down, leaving me in only a pair of black panties with a bit of lace trim around the top.
They’re not anywhere near as sexy as I wish they were for a moment like this, but something inside tells me he doesn’t care about frivolous things like clothing, only what’s underneath.
Not that I can blame him, as I feel the same way now that I’ve caught a glimpse of the impressive dips and planes of his muscular body.
I want to explore, and he has the type of muscles I could get lost in for days.
First, my hands, then my lips, and finally, I want to take him for the ride of a lifetime as I finally mount his glorious cock.
How do I know it’s glorious? A man like this, well, he’s got to be blessed in other places too.
I’m not one to shy away from seeing more of him; it’s the opposite, in fact. I want every magnificent inch of JJ on display for my eyes to feast on. I reach for the button on his shorts, flicking it open and lowering the zipper.