16. Becca
SIXTEEN
BECCA
“Say night night, Ellie.”
A tiny body appears at my side while I’m washing the dinner dishes. She’s all pajama’d up with an octopus stuffy in her arms and a sad look on her face. I turn to her and dry my hands. “You going to bed, sweet girl?” She nods and I get down to her level to hug her. “Night night.”
Poor little sweetie’s still scowling when she pulls out of our hug. “Why do you look so sad?”
“I’m afraid I’ll have nightmares,” she whimpers. “I need a protector.”
I squeeze the head of the octopus tucked into her arms. “Is our octopus friend not a good protector?”
“Pussy’s scared too,” she says.
My eyes cut over to Tyler, who gives me big eyes and a single shake of his head to tell me to keep it together.
Tempting as it is to laugh at her stuffy’s name, I’d never do anything to make Ellie feel bad.
“Okay. Let’s see then.” I look over at Tyler again.
“I’ve got an idea, but let me ask your daddy something, okay? ”
Tyler goes rigid all over as I stand and walk his way, like I’m about to attack him or something. He stiffens even more when I rise on my toes and grip his bicep to pull his ear down to my mouth. “What about T-Bone?”
Tyler closes his eyes and growls quietly. “I don’t know.”
“T-Bone’s used to sleeping with me. She barely moves all night. She’s already up there keeping my bed warm. I’m willing to share.”
I realize what I’ve said when Tyler hits me with a look that could kill. Apparently “share” is our no-no word. I respond with the kind of face I’d use to get out of a traffic ticket. He sighs. “Fine.”
“Yay!” I throw my arms around his neck to hug him, and again, he turns solid as a piece of lumber. I groan. “You’re going to have to work on that.”
I turn to Ellie and extend my hand to her. “I know somebody who’s extra good at keeping nightmares away. Wanna come with me?”
Together, the three of us climb the stairs and I poke my head into my room. I whistle. “Come on, T. I’ve got a new sleeping spot for you.”
T-Bone perks up and stretches before leaping out of my bed and following us down the hall. We turn into Ellie’s room and Tyler helps Ellie into bed. He starts to tuck the covers around her shoulders and she protests. “Arms out! I need to pet T-Bone!”
“Right, of course, of course,” Tyler says, putting his hands up and letting her get in the position she wants.
His dimple is constantly showing as he looks down at her and my stomach dips over it.
I feel like this is some private moment, like I shouldn’t be here.
Tyler probably feels the same way, but Ellie is too excited for him to put up a fight.
“Tuck me in again!” Ellie says.
Tyler bends over her and tucks the sheets around her chest, legs, and ankles, telling her she’s snug as a bug in a rug.
Once she’s settled, I snap my fingers and point at the bed. “Up, T-Bone.”
She gives me a second look, like I’m not allowed in the other beds, Mom, but I snap again and she goes. She lies down as a little spoon to Ellie and it’s everything I can do to not take a picture. They’re so dang cute.
“Now Daddy,” Ellie instructs.
There’s about a half inch of bed space left, and Tyler looks at it doubtfully. “I don’t know, shug. I think maybe T-Bone’s taking my place.” Ellie looks like she’s about to pitch a fit and he changes his tune with a soft sigh. “But I’ll try.”
Watching a stubborn asshole completely cave for a three-year-old girl is incredibly satisfying.
He posts up on his side facing T-Bone, and T-Bone takes this as a game.
She pushes her paws forward to shove him, then starts aggressively licking his neck.
“No, nice doggie. No, no thank you, quit, quit it! God, your breath is awful.”
I could make her stop with a snap, but it’s fun to watch him suffer. I giggle, but relent after T-Bone licks all the way up Tyler’s face. I snap my fingers and she takes a break to look at me for a second.
Then she resumes tenderizing Tyler’s face.
“That’s it,” he says, jumping up. “I think you’ll just have to be with T-Bone, El.”
“Okay,” Ellie says, and her disappointment has me ready to fold too.
“Let me try?” I offer. “She might not lick me half to death. She was too pumped up about her new friends.”
Tyler shrugs and gestures to invite me to lie down. “Okay, Ellie? Can Miss Becca sit with you?”
“Yes, yes, yes!” Ellie cries.
I climb into bed and put on a funny voice to say, “Girl bed!”
“Grill bed!” Ellie echoes, apparently unable to say “girl.” “I’m a grill. T-Bone is a grill. Miss Becca is a grill.”
“Okay, girls gotta be quiet and still in girl bed,” I say, knowing time is ticking for me to get things done tonight.
Tyler stands by the bed with his hands in his pockets. “I guess I’ll just—” He looks around and ends up settling in the chair across the room.
“Sing Pussy’s song, Daddy,” Ellie demands.
Tyler clears his throat and shakes his head at me again. “I already sang it.”
“T-Bone needs to hear it,” Ellie insists.
“Shug—”
“Please, Daddy.”
A ragged sigh comes from his side of the room, and Tyler launches into a remixed version of “Octopus’s Garden” by The Beatles, but “octopus” becomes “Pussy-pus.”
I have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing, but it’s easier to hold back when I see how much Ellie loves it. In fact, it almost makes me want to cry. Tyler’s love for Ellie knows no bounds and it stirs up so much.
CJ’s missing all of this. Her daughter is an absolute doll, and her baby’s dad gives her the love every child deserves.
She must have been hurting pretty bad to think walking away from this was the better option, and that breaks my heart.
I would have been there for her. I wanted to be, but she didn’t give me the chance.
But I have a new chance now. I can be here for her daughter. I can put up with her dad’s grouchiness so she can thrive. I can be a good role model, even if I’m probably the least qualified person for the job.
I think about what Tyler said about not smoking in front of Ellie.
I never smoke in my house anyway, just on the porch.
But if Ellie will be living here long-term, I don’t even want to do that.
The likely-stale pack of Nicorette I bought around New Year’s will have to do for a fresh start until I can get a new pack in town.
Tyler is still singing, coming to the end of the song. I’m surprised that he’s able to carry a tune, but then I remember all the times he hummed along with whatever I was listening to in my room.
I pet T-Bone’s side while Tyler sings and Ellie joins me.
Her hand slows within a minute or so, coming to rest on top of my hand.
I look over to find Tyler chewing on the inside of his lip.
I meet his gaze and he presses his lips together, then stands to start messing with the long-range baby monitor.
When he gets it where he wants it, he flicks his head toward the door.
I whisper a gentle “stay” to T-Bone before I get up. By the time I get into the hall, Tyler’s bedroom door is closing.