24. Becca
TWENTY-FOUR
BECCA
With my fingers crossed behind my back, I open my banking website.
This fall season is building up to one final fest after Halloween weekend with a different attraction: punkin’ chunkin’, or throwing rotten pumpkins as far as you can.
Yesterday, I had to put down the deposit on the carnival rides and extra bounce houses.
I knew funds were going to be tight, but I hoped it wouldn’t all come crashing in at once.
It has.
Today’s also the day that Ernest’s nursing home payment hits. It’s a matter of hours before I’m in overdraft—and that’s before I have to pay the folks coming in this weekend.
I don’t have a ton of choices. Crying about it certainly isn’t a choice. I need to move.
Tyler and I need to find out if this whole arrangement is even worth it.
If we can’t get a loan, we might as well abandon the effort.
They say there are two types of stress, positive and negative.
It’s good for us to break routines, to have some hope for the future.
It’s bad for us when Ellie can’t handle the changes and is afraid of losing her daddy.
I’m dedicated to making her feel as secure as we can, but there’s no point in getting on this rollercoaster ride if it amounts to nothing.
It feels like more than nothing, though. It’s not nothing when she holds my hand with confidence. It’s not nothing when she stops crying in my arms. It’s not nothing when Tyler kisses me like he fucking means it.
It’s early still, and if I leave now, Tyler and I can catch the loan guy at the bank before I have to go pick up Ellie. I grab two Red Bulls from the fridge as a bribe and head for my truck.
Tyler already looks stressed when I get to the garage. Guess it’s a club now. He’s talking to a customer while he makes notes on a ticket. A strange feeling washes over me as I realize I’m excited to see him. Also, he looks adorable when he’s in customer service mode.
But I feel completely stripped bare when he catches sight of me, and his face lights up, his ears turning pink. He glances at the clock. “Hey. What are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you.” I put my hands out. “Just when you get a second. I don’t want to interrupt.”
He takes a longer, more serious look at me. He turns to the woman in front of me. “Sorry. Give me one second. Dad?”
Mr. Davis wanders over and Tyler explains where he’s leaving off. “Need to talk to Becca for a minute.”
Tyler beckons me behind the counter, his hand tapping my lower back as he ushers me to his desk. “Is it private?”
“Um, yeah.”
He nods. “We’ll go upstairs.”
He gestures for me to walk ahead of him and I’m reminded of a time about a week ago when we did this same dance. We sit at the table in his eat-in kitchen and he turns his chair so he’s facing me directly, our knees almost touching.
I pull his Red Bull out of my purse. “Here. Thought I’d at least bring you something.”
“Okay. Thanks.” He looks concerned, and I’m struck by how these same eyes were full of heat just two nights ago. How absolutely delicious his body felt against mine. “What’s going on?”
I sniff in a breath. “We need to take care of the money stuff, quick if we can. I had to pre-pay for some rides later this month, and there’s something I didn’t tell you about.”
His eyes flit over my face and he visibly deflates, but he waits for me to go on.
“Part of my deal with taking the land is that I pay for Ernest at the nursing home. I should have told you sooner that I do that, because it’s not a small amount.”
He bobs his head. “That makes sense.”
“Well, that charge is pending and the deposits came out right away so I’m really close to going into the negative and—” I breathe out through tight lips, “we probably need to hurry up with the marriage thing. I know you’re busy this morning and I hate to bother you, but we should at least go see if they’re going to give us a loan or if this is all some ridiculous fantasy. ”
Tyler hangs his head, poking his tongue into his cheek. He sits taller and puts his hands on his thighs. “Stay here.”
My stomach drops as he leaves the room. He jogs downstairs and I hear his voice and Mr. Davis’s. Then his feet thump on the stairs again. He has a small Tiffany blue box in his hand that makes my heart pound.
He sits in the chair and leans forward, letting the box roll from hand to hand. I note his long fingers, the veins on his hands, the grease around his nails that is part of every work day for him.
“Let’s go see if we can get some money. We’ll do this part now,” he holds up the box, “and if the guy at the bank says yes, we go out tonight to announce it to everybody. I’ll lend you some money so you don’t hit bottom. Then we can go to the courthouse tomorrow to make it official.”
I worry my bottom lip. “Don’t you have to work?”
Tyler looks at me seriously. “This is important.”
My voice comes out all froggy. “It’s not too soon? You’ve only been at the farm for a few days.”
“It is soon,” he admits. “But I believe in this. What we’re doing. In you.”
“No more Tyler-Rebeccian war?” I joke, though it still sounds feeble.
He snorts. “No more war.”
I bob my head and my hands start to shake. We’re really doing this. “And if we can’t get the money?”
Tyler’s tongue runs over his teeth and his eyes train on the floor between us. “Cross that bridge when we get there.”
He stands and offers his hand to pull me up with him. His hand slots into my waist and I look up at him, finding him looking uncertainly at me.
“Sorry I’m not dressed fancier,” he says.
“I like you like this. I’m not fancy either,” I say and instead of my usual confidence, I feel like I’m a feather in the wind.
His lips curve upward and his eyes crinkle, his voice secretive and gravelly. “I like you like this too.”
We laugh, something that’s just for us, here, alone, on the edge of something terrifying and hopeful and amazing. Tyler’s long fingers fumble over the blue box, sliding the ribbon aside before he takes out the velvet box within. “Hope I’m doing this right.”
I chuckle. “You are as far as I know.”
He pops the lid of the box to reveal a sparkling stone. He mumbles a soft “dammit” and pulls out the wedding ring in the set. “Sorry. That’s for later.”
“It’s okay.” I squeeze his hand and he takes a moment to hold it and look at me.
His brow wrinkles. “You good? Ready?”
I blow out a breath. “Yeah. Just soaking it in. Might be the only proposal I ever get.”
A man is asking me to marry him, and even though this one isn’t for love, it’s from a loving man.
For now, that’s good enough.
This man loves his daughter and puts her first without exception. He’s always been there for me in his quiet way, sometimes in the shadows, sometimes peeking in from the doorway, waiting to be called into action.
He lowers to one knee and takes my hand.
“Rebecca Jean.”
My throat tightens when he uses my middle name. Of course, he knows it from years of being around me and being Dusty’s best friend, but it’s weird to have that fact thrown in my face.
Tyler swallows hard and goes on, eyes earnest. “Will you do me the honor of being my wife?”
I didn’t know he was going to be sweet about it. I thought maybe he’d just chuck a ring at me and tell me to meet him at the bank. I didn’t know he was going to do a real proposal, that he’d say something nice like “do me the honor.”
My face feels hot, and he’s waiting for my response. He already knows it’s yes. I’m the one who came here to tell him to hurry it up on the financing.
But like always, Tyler waits.
I squeeze his hand and nod with a broad smile. “Yes. And I think the honor is mine.”
Tyler looks awkward. “Do you think I put the ring on while I’m down here?”
I laugh and tug on his arms. “I honestly don’t know. But get up so I can give you a hug.”
Tyler stands and I slide my arms around his waist. He returns my hug, wrapping himself securely around me.
“We’ve lost our minds, haven’t we?” he asks.
“Probably so, but at least we’re going all in on it.”
He chuckles, the sound warm against my ear. “I think that’s how you do everything, Reba.”
I step back and together we watch him slide the ring onto my finger. His permafrown returns. “Sorry I got the smaller stone.”
“No, no,” I wave him off, noting how my now-heavier left hand catches the gray fall morning light. “You’re right. If we went too big, it’d be unbelievable.” I hesitate. “Thanks for being willing to speed up the timeline.”
Tyler shakes his head and purses his lips. “What’s the point of doing it at all if we don’t do it when we need it? We need to find out if it’s even worth all the noise.”
I smirk at him. “Noise?”
He chuckles and steers me toward the stairs. “If you think our families won’t completely lose their shit over this, I think you’re in for a surprise. I’ll be down in a second. I’m just going to change so I look worthy of a loan.”
I struggle going down the steps, my knees almost knocking.
For the moment, I’m engaged.