7. Chapter 7
Chapter 7
Three weeks later
Curling up against Bear, Valentine didn’t want to be anywhere else. She had to leave soon, had to be at the community center a few hours before the play started, but she could steal a few more minutes in bed.
“Come away with me next weekend,” Bear murmured into the pleasant quiet.
“What? Why?” She pushed up slightly so she could look at him.
He looked perfect in her bed, taking up all the space and giving her all the warmth she could ever want. He’d grown a little scruff in the last few days and she loved the look on him. Though to be fair, she loved everything about him. That was a slightly sobering thought, so she shoved it aside and tucked it away.
His mouth quirked up slightly. “Because that’s what people do.”
“People?”
“Uh, yeah, couples. And it’s Valentine’s weekend. It’d be nice to get out of the city.”
He was right, the city tended to get nuts around Valentine’s Day, but that was partially because it fell near Fat Tuesday, and oh my god, not the point! “Couples?” she parroted again. Jeez, what was wrong with her?
Frowning, he pushed up against the sheets and pillows so that he was now sitting. “Yeah. Couples.”
It took her brain a moment to catch up once again because she was still recovering from another orgasm. One of what felt like a billion in the last three weeks. Other than to work, they’d barely left her bed or his. But usually they ended up in hers, mainly because he didn’t like her taking public transportation. She’d discovered that he was ridiculously overprotective.
And she didn’t hate it.
His frown grew slightly. “What are we?”
“What do you mean?”
He pointed between the two of them. “You and me? What is happening between us? Because I just asked you to go away for a fun weekend and you look like I asked you to bake kittens. So what are we?”
Talons of panic emerged, sank deep in her chest. “We’re having fun.” So much fun.
“Yeah, we are. But I want more than just fun, Valentine. I want something real.”
“What we’re doing is real!” And so much fun. Wait, why was he getting out of bed, putting his clothes on? Her throat tightened in panic as she tried to find the right words, but nothing would come.
“Valentine, I really, really like you.” He paused, his jaw tight as if he wanted to say more, then he shoved out a sigh. “But anytime I ask you to go out on a date or to do something outside of the bedroom, we just end up in here. And it’s amazing,” he added. “But I want a future with you. And I’m starting to realize we’re not on the same page.” Now he simply looked sad.
Full-blown panicking now, she jumped out of bed, stood in front of him and the door, as if she could somehow stop him. “I don’t understand why things have to change.”
He sighed, still looking sad as he sidestepped her. “I want more with you, Valentine. I want to date you, to be exclusive, to take you out on dates and maybe one day move in together. Aand, by the panic on your face, I have my answer where you stand.” He gently kissed her forehead before quietly leaving her room.
The voice in her head screamed at her to stop him but she couldn’t move as old, familiar emotions swelled up inside her. She’d almost made a mistake once and it would have ruined her life.
But Bear wasn’t her ex. She knew that on the most fundamental level.
Still, why did he have to want more when right now was incredible?
When she heard the front door shut, the automatic lock clicking into place, it was like a blast of cold water in her face. Her home had always been her safe haven, her happy place. Without Bear in it…
She sank back onto the bed as a heavy weight settled on her chest.
***
Valentine clapped from the wings as the curtains went down for the third and probably final time. The play had been a success and now all the kids were racing off the stage and would be waiting for their parents to come get them.
Anabelle, one of her best art students, gave Valentine a high five as she passed with two of her friends, all their energy and wild laughter infectious.
Even with her bruised heart, she could feel the joy rolling off all of them after completing something they’d been working toward for months. “You were amazing,” she said to Benny, a quieter kid who’d had a much smaller role than Anabelle. He grinned as he stomped past her into the wings.
Jade appeared from behind her, slung an arm around her shoulders. “Oh my god, we did it. I know we’re going to bring in so many donations, but I don’t even care. Well, that much. The kids are so happy.” Her grin was big and genuine as she leaned into Valentine. “Thank you for all your help.”
She hugged her friend back, pushing down the array of emotions that had been threatening to bubble up all night. She just needed to make it through the night, then she could go home and have a good cry. She was so angry at herself and knew she needed to make things right with Bear. But…she didn’t know how. Relationships were not her strong point. She hadn’t talked to him since he’d left this morning. He hadn’t texted or called and she’d been too chicken to.
“You want to go out after the cocktail party? Because I think you need a drink,” Jade murmured into her hair.
Stepping back, she looked at her friend. “What?”
“No one else would be able to tell,” Jade rushed out, “but I think maybe something’s wrong?”
“Yeah, my stupidity.” She couldn’t believe she’d let Bear walk out like that. Couldn’t believe she’d let her baggage threaten a future with the most amazing man she’d ever met. “I lied about Bear being in a relationship. He was single. Then he was with me, then I screwed up and I don’t know what we are now,” she blurted out the truth in a few short sentences.
Jade blinked, then barked out a laugh, and pulled her into a big hug again. “Okay, we’re going to grab drinks after the cocktail hour because I’m sure you didn’t screw anything up. That man would be a fool to let you go.”
“I can do drinks,” she murmured. The play had started at six and it was almost eight now. Which meant the cocktail hour for the patrons, and hopefully donors, would be an hour or two max.
She could deal with her emotions until then.
“Oh, I’ll meet up with you in a bit,” Jade murmured, sidestepping her as she looked at someone over Valentine’s shoulder.
She turned, and that was when she saw Bear talking to someone, one of the single moms. The woman had her hand resting gently on his forearm, and oh no, that was not happening.
Barely aware that she was moving, Valentine pasted on a smile as she reached Bear and Annie—Annabelle’s mom.
Bear’s expression was unreadable as she approached, but Annie smiled. “Oh my goodness, Valentine! My girl has been raving about this for weeks and she was right, it was amazing. Thank you for all you’ve done.”
“It was all Jade, I swear.” She moved a little closer to Bear, feeling the ridiculous urge to stake her claim.
Annie shook her head, laughing and looking annoying and effortlessly gorgeous in a formfitting dark blue dress the color of Bear’s eyes.
Valentine hated that she noticed that. And that the other woman looked so much better next to him. Tall, lithe, gorgeous. Ugh . And fine, she was nice too.
“Oh, you lie. I know how much you did for the music.” She air-kissed Valentine, then turned to Bear, pointed a flirty finger. “We’re going to catch up later, Arthur.”
Bear sort of grunted as the woman left in a cloud of Chanel No. 5. Then it was just the two of them as kids milled about, all looking for their parents.
Valentine didn’t like that the woman was calling him by his first name. She cleared her throat, feeling foolish now that Annie was gone. What had she been thinking, coming over here? “Did you see the whole play?” What a stupid question, of course he had. Could the ground just swallow her up now, please.
He nodded. “Yeah, the kids were great. Everything was amazing.” His voice was subdued, neutral, and she hated that he sounded like a stranger when they’d literally been naked together that morning.
She needed to get the hell out of here before her face started leaking. Because he was just looking down at her with no expression. Clearly she’d blown it; he didn’t even want to talk to her. “Okay, well…I guess I’ll see you around.”
Now his expression darkened and he tugged her behind a fall of thick curtains. “That’s it? You’ll see me around?” He kept his voice pitched low.
“Did you used to date Annie?” she blurted, because apparently she’d lost the ability to talk like a normal human. She should be apologizing, but nope, this was the direction she’d decided to go.
He blinked in surprise, likely at the abrupt change in topic. Jesus, what was wrong with her? “Why does it even matter?”
“Because everything you do matters!” Oh god, her eyes were burning now. She had to get out of here like ten minutes ago. Because she wouldn’t cry in front of him. Or the kids. She needed—
Bear grasped her wrist, his hold gentle as he suddenly pulled her close, cupped her cheek, and oh, she was totally crying, she realized as he swiped at the wetness on her cheeks.
“I’m not crying.”
“I can see that. Talk to me, Valentine,” he murmured, one hand possessively on her hip as he held her close. “Why are you crying?”
“Because I ruined everything between us.”
“You didn’t ruin anything.”
“Of course I did, and now you’re going to start dating that tall, really sweet blonde bombshell, get married and have eighteen kids—”
“I think you’re spiraling.” His voice was gentle as he cupped both cheeks. “Focus on me.”
She shook her head, feeling frantic and ridiculous and out of control and oh so horribly vulnerable she could shake apart at any moment. “Years ago I walked in on my fiancé cheating on me with my cousin. My friend, more than just a cousin. I grew up in a really religious household.” The words had started to spill from her and she knew they wouldn’t stop until she got it all out. “I’d been so sheltered, something I didn’t fully understand until I was kicked out of my house.”
His expression darkened, but he didn’t interrupt, something she was thankful for.
Because if she was going to get all her baggage out in the open, she needed to do it fast. Before she changed her mind. “My parents expected me to forgive him, to sweep it under the rug and basically ‘know my place.’ Our families had been friends for years and I’d been more or less ‘promised’ to him, which is as gross as it sounds. He wanted a sweet, virgin wife, but expected me to look the other way while he screwed around, something I also didn’t realize until later. When I pushed back, told everyone the engagement was off, my family lost it. They kicked me out and I was shunned from our whole community. It ended up being a blessing in disguise, but at the time it was terrifying. I also found out that my dad had opened up credit cards in my name, completely destroying my credit. Eventually I got that handled, but it was a long, exhausting road to get to where I am. I value my independence and I have trust issues. And, frankly, wanting you so much has me terrified.” She whispered the last part, as if it was a dark confession. “You’re everything I never knew I wanted and now I’m scared that if I give in to this, to us, you’ll go away. I’m not worried you’ll cheat, just…that you’ll get bored of me once you see the real me.”
He nodded slowly in understanding. “I’m not going anywhere and I think it would be impossible to get bored with you. And I’m not trying to clip your wings. I want to create something real between us, something official. Because apparently I’m more traditional than I thought. I can’t just casually date you. I want more than that—I need to know that we’re exclusive.” His grip on her hip flexed possessively, sending a thrill down her spine. “I’m not sharing you and I would never stray. I don’t want anyone but you.”
Relief swamped her so hard and fast she felt dizzy. Opening herself up to him had been utterly terrifying. But he was still here. Still wanting her. “I love it when you talk like that,” she rasped out, glad that the noise from the stage and wings had died down. It sounded like everyone had gone on to the party.
“No more running, okay?”
She nodded. “No more running. But…I might freak out again.”
“I’ll be here to catch you.”
His words were exactly what she needed. And more than that, she felt the truth of them to her bones. Bear was a man of action, someone who showed up when he said he would. And even though it terrified her, she found she trusted him more than anyone she’d ever known. She slid into his arms, wrapping her arms around his broad back. “If the offer is still open, I’d like to go away next weekend.”
“It’s definitely still open. I already booked the place. I got us the Valentine’s Day package.” She blinked up at him. “I wasn’t letting this thing between us just die.”
“Were you planning on kidnapping me?”
He grinned down at her, his expression just a bit wicked. “The thought had crossed my mind.”
Heat surged through her, her nipples tightening against her bra cups. “I shouldn’t like the thought of that as much as I do.”
“I wasn’t letting my Valentine get away on Valentine’s Day.”
Her snicker turned into a full blown laugh. “That’s cheesy, but I love it.” And she was pretty sure she loved him, but she kept that to herself. For now. She could only be so vulnerable in one day.