Chapter 21 #2
‘Oh, just a little dicky bird,’ Kendra said innocently. ‘Don’t look so shocked. You do realise you’re living in Kelsea Sands, right? Your every move and word is scrutinised and analysed here. Even Emmy knew you needed a tissue before you did, and she’s busy serving people at the counter.’
She nodded over to where Emmy was occupied taking an order from a couple of middle-aged women who were anxiously scanning the cafe for a free table.
‘It’s a shame that the pub’s for sale,’ Kendra added.
‘Did I tell you Niall and I saw it advertised in an estate agent’s window in Millensea yesterday?
We’d gone out for fish and chips, and as we were walking to the shop we had a little look in the window, as we always do – just daydreaming obviously – and there it was.
So it seems Seb’s really made up his mind. ’
‘He has,’ Jenna said sadly. ‘He’s making a big mistake, I’m sure of it. He helped out in the bar last night and he looked so at home.’
‘He helped out in the bar?’ Kendra looked delighted. ‘Well, that’s progress, isn’t it?’
‘He was with Stella and she said she fancied a lemonade, so he decided to come down and pour it for her himself,’ Jenna told her.
‘I was kind of hoping there was more to it than that. The customers were clearly delighted to see him back. Mum, Mac, and your in-laws popped in for an hour and they all think he’s barmy to let The North Star go.
Stella does too. She told him that the pub could be a goldmine, but he just shrugged and said good luck to whoever took it over, then. ’
‘Well, I suppose if his heart’s not in it any longer, what can he do?
’ Kendra said with a sigh. ‘I have to admit, I can’t imagine ever getting over it if anything happened to Niall.
God, it doesn’t bear thinking about. Poor Seb.
And poor Sam. He gave it his best shot, though.
He has nothing to reproach himself for.’ She brightened suddenly. ‘Anyway, you were saying. About Sam…?’
‘The thing is,’ Jenna said, her voice dropping to little more than a whisper, ‘I do like Sam. A lot. And I think… I mean, there’s nothing definite been said, but there have been a couple of moments.’
‘Ooh.’ Kendra looked thrilled. ‘Moments!’
‘But I don’t know,’ Jenna explained. ‘I don’t know what it is I feel for him, let alone what he feels for me. What if I’m just latching on to him because my husband’s rejected me? This could be one of those classic rebound cases. I do have form,’ she added, embarrassed.
‘Do you?’ Kendra’s eyebrows betrayed her once again, to Jenna’s amusement.
‘You’d have to torture me to make me tell you about that,’ Jenna said. ‘Wild horses wouldn’t make me reveal that secret.’
‘What about if I gave you half my scone?’
Jenna smiled. ‘Deal.’
Not that she really wanted Kendra’s scone. She wasn’t sure she’d manage her own. But she did feel that she wanted to talk – to tell Kendra everything. Because if a vicar’s wife and, er, debt counsellor couldn’t understand her, who could?
‘There was this man. At work…’
By the time she’d finished telling Kendra about yet another humiliating chapter in her life, she realised Kendra had eaten her entire scone as well as draining the pot of tea. So much for her bribe then.
‘You poor thing,’ Kendra said at last. She wiped her buttery fingers on her napkin then said slowly, ‘If you don’t mind me asking, where did you get the basque?’
‘Kendra!’
‘Sorry!’ Kendra held up her hands. ‘I know I’m supposed to be offering advice and guidance, but I mean, a basque! Get you! I’ve never had the nerve, but I do think it might make a nice birthday present for Niall in October.’
Jenna laughed. ‘I really don’t think it would suit him. Actually, mine’s at home buried at the bottom of my sock drawer. Only wore it once. You can have it if you like.’
Kendra gave her a doubtful look. ‘It’s not going to fit me if it fits you, is it? You’re tiny. Niall would probably die of shock if I came to bed in one of those, anyway. Although he does like me to wear stockings,’ she mused.
‘Oh, Kendra, please!’ Jenna covered her ears. ‘He’s my mum’s cousin! I’ve seen him in his cassock and surplice! I can’t think about that.’
Kendra giggled. ‘Sorry. Where were we? Oh yes, Sam.’
‘We weren’t talking about Sam,’ Jenna pointed out, all too aware of Kendra’s tricks. ‘We were talking about my almost indiscretion, remember?’
‘Hmm. And did this almost indiscretion make you have butterflies and feel all safe and contented while at the same time thrilled and madly horny?’
‘Kendra!’
‘Well,’ Kendra said with a helpless shrug, ‘I don’t know how else to describe it. That’s how I feel when I see Niall. Especially when he’s standing in the pulpit, being all vicarish and sexy.’
‘I give up,’ Jenna said.
‘I’m sorry, I really am. But seriously, is that how this bloke at work made you feel? Or did you feel more stomach churning and pulse racing and nervous, like you do with Joel?’
Jenna sighed. ‘Neither,’ she admitted. ‘I didn’t really feel anything except desperate.’
‘Oh, lovely. Well, good job you didn’t go through with it then. I shouldn’t imagine revenge sex is any fun at all – especially when it’s over.’
‘It wasn’t just about revenge,’ Jenna said. ‘It was about feeling wanted for a change.’
‘Do you think Sam wants you?’
Jenna realised she was blushing and held her hands to her cheeks to try to cool them down. ‘How should I know?’
‘Have you even kissed him?’
Jenna had to admit she hadn’t. ‘I might be imagining the whole thing,’ she said gloomily. ‘And that’s probably for the best. I have enough going on right now, don’t I?’
‘I think,’ Kendra said, ‘that you should find out. Test the waters.’
‘How?’
‘Kiss him, of course!’ Kendra laughed. ‘Don’t look so horrified! And when you’ve kissed him, you’ll know if you feel all happy and horny, like I do with Niall, or anxious and a bit sick, like you do with Joel, or just meh, like you did with basque-and-suspenders guy.’
‘Don’t call him that!’ Jenna said, appalled. ‘I don’t want that image stuck in my mind. I’d rather forget it ever happened.’
‘But seriously,’ Kendra said, ‘you should kiss him, Jenna. Sam, I mean. If you think he wants you to, that is, because we’re all about consent, aren’t we?
Just see how you feel then, because your body won’t lie, you know.
Your body always knows the truth about these things instantly, and reacts accordingly, even if your stubborn mind lingers behind, playing hopscotch and thinking of a million other things it would rather do than accept the facts. ’
‘But what if it does turn out that I have feelings for Sam, but he doesn’t have feelings for me?’
‘Well.’ Kendra shrugged. ‘At least you’ll know.’
‘Another rejection to add to the list. Another worry. Like whether my daughters will fall madly in love with their new stepmother and decide that living with me is boring as hell and they’d be better off with their doting dad.’
‘Yeah, right.’ Kendra snorted with derision. ‘Doting dad? From what you’ve just told me and things I’ve picked up on over the years, he’s never been that. I’m telling you now, those kids will—’
She broke off as Jenna’s phone began to ring.
Jenna grabbed it from her bag and stared at the screen. ‘It’s Joel!’
‘Best answer it then,’ Kendra said, getting to her feet. ‘I’m going to order more tea.’
‘Joel?’
‘Mummy!’
Jenna heaved a sigh of relief at hearing Ada’s voice. She could hear Hallie asking close by, ‘Has she answered?’
‘Are you all right?’ Jenna asked them. ‘How’s it going?’
‘Mummy, this house is horrible,’ Ada said quietly. ‘It’s really dark and small, and the furniture’s really old, and Annette has a cat but it’s a boy and it hisses at us.’
‘Oh dear,’ Jenna said, trying not to feel relieved. ‘But apart from that, how are things? Is… is Annette treating you well?’
‘Yes, she’s all right,’ Hallie said, evidently taking the phone from her sister. ‘She made us spaghetti Bolognese last night. We watched Moana. Daddy wanted to watch something else, but she said we could choose. He wasn’t very happy. He doesn’t like Moana, does he?’
‘Did you go swimming?’ Jenna asked, smiling as Kendra came back and sat down.
‘Yes, this morning. Daddy wouldn’t get in the pool, though, and Nettie got very cross with him because she had to stay with us the whole time while he went in the cafe with his laptop, and they argued all the way back. When are we coming home?’
‘Daddy said he’d drop you back at Watersmeet in time for tea,’ Jenna told her. ‘Not long now. You can hang on for a couple more hours, can’t you?’
Ada had evidently taken back the phone. ‘Yes, but only just. We don’t have to come here again, do we? That cat’s horrible. He’s not friendly like Mrs Beddows.’ In a stage whisper she added, ‘And I think the litter tray needs emptying.’
Jenna bit her lip, trying not to laugh. ‘Well, maybe you should tell Daddy to empty it then,’ she said, wondering how he’d react to that.
‘He wouldn’t do that,’ Hallie said. ‘He said that cat’s got nothing to do with him and he can’t stand it. He said he found a cat hair in his soup the other day and he nearly threw up. Nettie says he’s a big baby,’ she added.
‘Have you two got my phone?’
At the sound of their father’s voice bellowing in the background, the twins hastily said, ‘Bye, Mummy. Love you!’
‘Love you too. Bye—’
They’d gone. Jenna put her phone away, a smirk of satisfaction on her lips.
‘They hate it, don’t they?’ Kendra said.
‘It hasn’t gone exactly as Joel probably expected,’ Jenna said, feeling laughter bubbling up. ‘Maybe I was worrying about nothing.’
‘Told you!’ Kendra said with satisfaction.
She smiled gratefully as Emmy placed another pot of tea in front of her.
‘Thanks, love.’ Emmy smiled back and walked away and Kendra leaned forward, her expression eager.
‘So, if I was right about that, will you believe I’m right about Sam?
Go on, Jenna. Find out for sure. Engineer a kiss between you and see how that body of yours reacts.
Then compare it with how it normally reacts to Joel.
Think of it as a scientific experiment, if it helps. You’ll never know if you don’t try.’
A scientific experiment. Well, maybe she could manage that. The trouble was, she really wasn’t sure what result she was hoping for.