Chapter 40
NOW: MAGGIE
“Imiss you too,” Maggie said quietly into her phone as she stood in her kitchen. A kitchen she’d had to relearn and restock over the past couple of weeks of living back in her home full time, now that Maya was with her.
“I kinda feel weird that our daughters are cramping our style,” Diana joked, but there was a coolness to her voice. It was a coolness that seemed to dial up in intensity every day that went by, every day that Maggie hadn’t told Maya about them.
“Yeah, who knew our girls were so close,” Maggie said into the phone, and the truth was, she really didn’t know, but she was starting to suspect that Diana’s musings of a love triangle were true.
For the last two weeks since Maya had been home, she’d been spending ample time with Lily and Hanna.
Maggie didn’t spend that much time observing the three, but Diana did, considering they often hung out at the orchard.
“They kinda remind me of you and I and Julia hanging out all over the grounds, sleeping in that treehouse Lily’s got on the edge of things. Only, I do not think any of those girls have sibling energy intentions.”
This worried Maggie slightly. Not because she was afraid her daughter was interested in one of the girls, though she saw a road of complication for her if she was interested in the likes of Hanna McEvoy, mainly because of Mary.
No, she didn’t want her heart to get broken.
She knew Hanna and Lily had grown up together and were obviously still close.
She just hoped whatever was going on with the three of them, no one got hurt.
“Yeah well, I hope it all works out for them,” Maggie said finally.
“Me too, and then maybe they can give me some space so that you can come over,” Diana said flirtatiously.
“Oh? And are you going to make it worth my while if I do?” Maggie said, matching her tone.
The words had just left her mouth when she realized a sleepy Maya had just entered the kitchen, which surprised her because she hadn’t heard her daughter return from Diana and Lily’s the night before.
She felt her face grow warm beneath the gaze of her daughter’s calculating brown eyes.
“Um, let me text you,” Maggie said quickly and ended the call before Diana could answer.
She hated doing that to her, and it had now happened several times since Maya had come home.
She knew she would have to pay for that, one way or another.
“Don’t end your conversation on my account,” Maya said, her calculations done and a smirk spreading out over her lips.
“Oh, I just—I didn’t know you were home. I thought you were at Lily’s again.”
“Oh? Should I consider myself lucky that I just stumbled upon a flirty conversation and not something else?” Maya’s eyebrow went up in a way that was so much like Damien’s. It was the “no bullshit” eyebrow.
“It was not flirty! Was just talking to a friend,” Maggie said, but she could feel her face continue to redden, the heat spreading from her cheeks to her neck.
Trying to divert the conversation, she said, “Anyway, um, breakfast? Should we go out or should…” Her voice cut off as she tried desperately to collect herself.
“Mom, you do know you’re allowed to date, you’re allowed to be happy again.
” Maya’s brown eyes looked at her carefully, seriously.
Maggie thought she understood the look, it was attached to the relief she knew her daughter felt when she realized that she had come home to a much different mother than she had over the holidays. Maggie had been relieved to see it.
Awkwardly brushing away a nonexistent crumb on the kitchen island she said, “Through this whole thing, I haven’t really said how hard this has been for you.
I just want you to know I see you, and I love you, and I am the luckiest woman in the world.
I could never regret anything, because it led me to you.
You know that, right?” Maggie could feel her eyes grow wet, but she needed her daughter to understand this.
Given everything she still had to tell her.
Everything she and Damien had to tell her.
Finally, Maya nodded and said, “I know Mom, I know.”
Letting out a small laugh, Maggie said, “Good.” She wiped her eyes before the tears could fall. “Good, because I love the shit out of you.”
Maya laughed too, and then stepped forward to embrace Maggie. Even after all this time, she couldn’t get over how complete, how right, she felt when her child hugged her. Like no matter the mistakes she’d made in her life, she’d done that one thing right.
“Let’s go out for breakfast,” Maya said decidedly when they broke apart. Maggie smiled and then went to grab her keys.
“So, have you spoken to Dad lately?” Maya asked from across the table in the small diner they were at, popping a piece of crispy bacon in her mouth and chewing.
It was a new diner, part of Maplewood’s growth and no doubt somehow underwritten by Diana.
It also shared a parking lot with Clyde’s, a fact that had given Maggie pause when they had gotten out of the car, old memories rushing around her in the June air.
How different it was to be standing in the very same lot now with her and Damien’s daughter.
So much had changed, and yet she was still in love with the same woman she’d driven away from all those years ago.
“Yeah we spoke, I think a few days ago now? Probably due for another conversation or catch-up,” Maggie said, taking her eyes away from the parking lot outside the window and taking a sip of her coffee.
“I love that you both are talking again,” Maya said, and she smiled warmly. Maggie felt a part of her heart melt.
“Me too,” Maggie said, setting her mug down.
“Your father will always be my best friend, one of the great loves of my life. Speaking of which,” Maggie said, redirecting, but also because she was extremely curious, “you’ve been spending a lot of time at the Blake’s.
Are you and Lily and Hanna having a good summer so far?
Feels like the three of you have been glued at the hip—or should I say, hips. ”
At that, Maya choked a little on her omelette, her reaction making Maggie even more convinced that there was a lot of merit to whatever Diana had been saying. She watched as Maya grabbed her orange juice and took a long sip.
“I mean they’re cool, and they are who I know here in Maplewood,” she said, her voice taking on the tone it did when she was trying to avoid saying something.
“That’s all? Seems like, well I don’t know, Diana said something the other day about a love triangle.” Maggie laughed to see if she was able to inject some humor in the moment, to let her daughter know everything was ok.
“Love triangle?” Maya said incredulously, and the brown skin of her face deepened in color.
Maybe Diana was right. Maybe her baby girl did have feelings for one of the two women, but it was complicated?
Maya was headed off to Providence at the end of the summer for grad school, so even if there was a bit of heartbreak, she would be away from it starting in the fall.
Still, Maggie decided she’d be there for her baby no matter what.
“You have been spending so much time on her property and seem close,” Maggie said, shrugging and grabbing a piece of toast. She had no idea how many times she could shrug or inject humor into the situation, because it seemed with every second Maya grew more uncharacteristically unnerved.
“Well, I can say for sure there is no love triangle, or like, there isn’t an unrequited crush or anything,” Maya said finally. “I didn’t realize you and Mrs. Blake talked?”
“Oh well, you know I knew Lily and Hanna’s mothers in high school? Small town. I suppose at one point I was friends with both of them.”
“Really?” This seemed to pique Maya’s interest.
“Mary and I cheered together, but never stayed close, and Diana and I were grouped together on a few projects. Stuff like that,” Maggie said, guilt seeping into her core because it had been more than that, so much more than that.
As a means to try and settle her guilt and maybe build a little foundation for what was to come she added, “I always liked Diana. Always.”
Maya seemed to consider this and said, “Yeah I can see that, she seems chill. Hanna’s mom on the other hand, I can’t really picture you two being friends—”
“It was a long time ago,” Maggie said quickly. “In any case, I’m glad that you three are getting along and that there isn’t a, what did you say? Unrequited crush going on. Because heartbreak sucks. Trust me.”
Maya nodded and then picked up her fork to continue eating her food.
“Are you two ever going to tell me what happened?” she said casually, but Maggie knew her daughter well enough to know this was something Maya had spent time thinking about, trying to figure out.
And Maggie couldn’t blame her; understanding was part of the healing process, after all.
“Yes, I expect we will soon, but what I can say for now is that it was time for us to be true to ourselves. Sometimes that brings people together, and sometimes they have their own paths to follow separately. Either way, like I said, your father is your father, and he is also my best friend. And our marriage was special to us, but we had to leave it,” Maggie said.
“So no, you’re not,” Maya said quietly. And guilt once more made its way into Maggie’s gut because she owed her daughter this. She and Damien did. And the sooner the better. She was close. She just needed a little more time.