Falling in Love with Two (The Lawson’s #2)

1. Babies are Goblins who Ruin your Boobs

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Babies are Goblins who Ruin your Boobs

Dylan

“ I can’t believe you actually fucking did it,” my sister Veronica says while walking around my new house.

“I know, right?” I reply. “It all still seems a little surreal to me.”

She walks over to me and pinches my cheek between her thumb and finger. “I’m just so stinkin’ proud of you.”

“Uh, thanks.”

“My baby brother is actually acting like a grown-up.”

“When are you going to stop referring to me as your baby brother?” I question.

Without hesitation, she replies, “Never.”

“Ronnie, I’m only two minutes younger than you…and a foot taller.”

She flashes me her pearly whites. “You’ll always be my baby brother to me. ”

Pushing her long black hair behind her shoulder, she walks over to look at a picture on the wall. “The place really does look great. You have quite the eye for decorating.”

“I can’t take all the credit. Mom and Michelle came over and did most of it.”

Michelle is one of our older sisters. Ronnie and I may be twins, but we are in the middle of three other siblings. Liz is the oldest. Then, Michelle. And Jo is the only one younger than us. A whole seven years younger. She was the family surprise when our parents thought they were done having kids.

Ronnie walks over to her purse and pulls out a bottle of tequila. “How about we celebrate?”

“Really?” I ask. “Isn’t it a little early?”

She glances at the clock on the wall. “It’s after five, Dylan.”

“Alright, fine. But just a little. I’m going out later.” I quickly walk to the kitchen and grab a couple of glasses.

On the way, I hear Ronnie say, “Of course, you’re going out. It’s a Friday night. I’d expect nothing less.”

When I return, I say, “This is for a guy at work’s birthday. I’ve actually slowed down on the hookups.”

“Why?” she asks, genuinely confused.

My shoulders shrug as I pour a thumb of tequila into each glass. “I guess I’ve just been busy with the house and everything.”

“Thank God. I thought you were going to tell me you were ready to settle down or some shit.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” I ask.

“Yes!” She cries in a shrill voice.

Truthfully, I’ve never thought about taking the next steps in life…until recently. Buying a house makes you think about the future. Living in that house alone makes you consider filling it up with a wife and kids.

But at this point, I’ve been doing the casual dating thing for so long that I don’t even know how to start looking for something more serious.

“Oh, calm down,” I tell her. “I’m not on my way to the chapel any time soon.”

She points a manicured finger at me. “You better not be.”

Ronnie is also a serial-dater. As much as she’s on the road, it makes sense for her. She’s a travel photographer who is constantly flying all over the world. Her dating life is perfectly suited to her lifestyle.

Mine, on the other hand, makes me feel like a sad man whore.

Changing the subject, I ask, “So, where are you flying in from?”

“Niagara Falls.”

“How was that?”

“Alright, I guess. Rainy. Gloomy. Not all that different from here in Oregon. Hell, we have a waterfall too. It’s just smaller.”

Only Veronica Lawson could compare Niagara Falls to our small town of Lilly Leaf Falls. Besides the weather, I’m not sure the two could be more different.

But that’s Ronnie. She’s always had her own unique way of thinking.

“Sounds like you didn’t have the best time,” I say.

“Oh, it was fine. I’ve just been so busy that I feel like I’ve been on a plane more than I’ve been on the ground. I just feel a little burnt out. Maybe I need to come home more.”

“Do you want to stay here tonight? ”

“Nah. I’ve got to catch a red-eye later. Dad’s taking me to the airport in a little while.”

“Well, the offer to stay here stands whenever you want. I have the extra rooms now, so you won’t have to crash on the couch.”

She leans back on the couch and crosses one leg over the other. “I appreciate that. I can’t really stay with Liz and Jack anymore since they’re about to have an uninvited guest.”

I let out a loud sigh. “Ronnie, you have to stop referring to it as an uninvited guest. They are having a baby.”

She shrugs. “Same thing.”

“They were trying to have a baby. I’d say that was definitely invited.”

“Why would anybody willingly invite that into their lives?”

Already knowing the answer, I ask, “You never want kids, Ronnie?”

“Absolutely not. Babies are nothing more than little gremlins who ruin your boobs. There’s no way I’m giving up this body for that.”

If Ronnie is anything, it’s blunt.

Putting the attention back on me, she asks, “Did you buy this house to have babies?”

I set my hand over my stomach. “How did you know?”

“Dylan!” She scolds.

“Ronnie, I just got the house so that I could put down some roots.”

“If you want to put down roots, plant a fucking tree.” She throws back her head and chugs what’s left in her glass. It always amazes me how she can take shots of the strongest liquor and not make the slightest face .

That’s how you know she’s a little crazy.

“So, where are you guys going tonight?” She asks.

“I think we are going to The Dells over in Kensington.”

The Dells is a bar in one of the neighboring towns. It’s one where a lot of the young—but not too young crowd goes. The barely 21 crowd tends to frequent more nightclubs, and all the older people go to some of the quieter bars. Being 28, I want something somewhere in the middle.

“You’re not going to Andre’s?” She teases.

“No, I can think of quite a few other places I’d rather go for a night out than our parents’ bar.”

“You used to go all the time,” she argues.

“I still do sometimes when I want to have a relaxing night. But I think the birthday boy wants something a little more wild.”

“Then, why not go to a strip club?”

“There’s something that’s always a little odd for me about a bunch of dudes sitting around watching naked women together.”

She giggles. “Fair enough.”

Being twins, Ronnie and I have always been close. There’s always been some inexplicable bond between the two of us. No matter how much she’s away, that’ll never change—even though I do wish she was around more.

I glance at the clock, prompting her to ask, “Do you need to get going?”

“Nah, I’ve got a little time.”

She pours us two more drinks. “Come on then, baby brother. One more for the road.”