14. Things could Always be Worse
fourteen
Things could Always be Worse
Leah
O h, come on.
I look out the windows of my crappy car, hoping the rain will break soon. If not, I’m going to look like a drowned rat when I walk into the doctor’s office.
Going to the lady doctor is already uncomfortable enough. I’d rather not be soaked too.
As much as I hate these appointments, going once a year is the only way they’ll give me a new IUD. Not only do I use it to avoid pregnancy, but it also keeps my crazy hormones in check. My hormones tend to make me a little loony.
Coming to the gyno is one of the few responsible adult things that I do. Well, I guess that’s not entirely true anymore. I was set to move into my new apartment this upcoming weekend, but the landlord called asking me to delay it because the whole building is apparently a crime scene.
No idea why.
I probably should have asked, but I’m trying to damnedest to go through with this. Knowing that information probably wouldn’t have helped.
At this point, I’m about out of time, so I really just need to suck it up and make the most of it. I’ve been in worse situations than this, and I always manage to land on my feet.
Things could always be worse.
Just have to keep pushing forward and telling myself that.
I look out my windshield at the front of the building. I’ve always loved people watching. I like making up fake scenarios in my head.
First a woman comes walking out holding her screaming toddler’s hand. She tries ignoring him, but finally, she bends down and yells right back. I laugh as I wonder if they’re arguing over him wanting a Happy Meal or if he’s just sick of his mom’s shit.
Clearly, she’s sick of his.
Next, I see a woman with a big pregnant belly come waddling out the front door. She’s talking to someone over her shoulder. By the way she’s pointing her finger and bobbing her head, I’d say she’s giving them hell.
Man, everybody is crabby today.
I watch her take her crazy curls and tie them into a bun on top of her head as she waits for someone to follow her.
When I catch a glimpse of the man who walks out behind her, my jaw drops. I squint as hard as I can because there’s no way .
As he walks out into the parking lot, though, I’m one-hundred-percent sure…
It’s Dylan Lawson.
At the lady doctor.
With someone who is very pregnant.
Okay, don’t freak out, Leah. It’s probably not what it looks like.
It becomes hard and harder to convince myself of that when I watch him put his arm around her to help her step down off the curb. She still looks like she’s lecturing him, but he says something to her and flashes his dimples, and just like that, she’s smiling at him. Then, she stops walking to give him a hug.
Yeah, he has that effect on women.
So, is Mr. Golden Retriever going to be a dad?
Maybe I should be surprised, but I’m no stranger to men lying. I guess I’m just used to it by now.
A decent man is way harder for me to believe in at this point. I have yet to meet one of those.
Now, I find myself really glad that I didn’t call him up to fuck again. Wouldn’t want him to cheat for a third time.
My heart races when I see that they’re about to walk right in front of my car. Quickly, I recline the seat so that I won’t be spotted.
As they pass, I faintly hear him say, “Come on. I’ll take you to lunch before we head home. Anywhere you want to go.”
The woman says, “What if I want a steak and a cheeseburger?”
“Then, we will get both.”
“That’s why I love you.”
I feel like such an idiot. Not all that long ago, I was thinking about what it would be like to be with a good man like Dylan. I let myself get lost in a fantasy that was inaccurate for a multitude of reasons.
I’m a fucking moron.
Why are tables in the doctor's office the worst? The paper crinkles under my ass as I attempt to get comfortable. It’s no use, though.
I stare up at the ceiling and count the tiles, trying to pass the time while I wait. My phone is still in my pants pocket on the other side of the room, and I don’t feel like getting up to get it.
I do my best to keep my mind off of what I saw in the parking lot. I’m never going to see Dylan again, so whatever he’s doing now is his business. What I don’t get is why did he come seek me out after that first night? And why on God’s green Earth did he let me give him a tattoo?
I don’t know. I could spend the rest of my life trying to figure out why men do the things that they do, but I don’t think I have the time or energy to worry myself with all of that.
A soft knock on the door pulls me from my thoughts. A woman who looks like she’s younger than I am pokes her head in.
“Miss Hargrove?” She asks in a cheerful voice.
“That’s me.
With a warm smile, she comes in and closes the door behind her. Taking a seat on the rolling stool, she says, “My name is Marcy, and I’m the nurse practitioner here. I’m just going to ask you some questions and get you all ready for the doctor.”
“Okay, great.”
She takes a moment to look through my paperwork. “It looks like you’re here to get your annual exam and get a new IUD put in.”
“Yes.”
Another silence while she reads. “Okay, it looks like the only thing missing is the date of your last period.”
I have to think for a second because I’m not entirely sure. “About five weeks, I guess,” I say, although I’m not entirely sure.
A crease forms between her brows.” Hm, okay.”
“I’ve never had normal periods,” I tell her. “Even with the IUD, they’ve never been reliable.”
“Okay, well, before we can get the new one put in, we will need to do a pregnancy test.”
“That’s not necessary,” I tell her. “I’m always super careful.”
“Have you had sex recently?”
I nod.
“Then, it’s necessary. We can’t put in the new IUD until we know for sure. Just a precaution.” The smile she gives me now is much more annoying than the previous ones.
She stands up and opens one of the cabinets before handing me a plastic cup with a lid.
“Just go the restroom next door and fill up. There will be a little door in there you can put it in, and I’ll check back with you in a few minutes. ”
Rolling my eyes, I stand up to do as she says, careful to hold the gown closed in the back so that no one sees my ass along the way.
I have no trouble filling up the cup since I had a Big Gulp of Dr. Pepper earlier today. I do my business, wash my hands, and leave the sample where I’m supposed to before heading back to the room.
This time, I’m smart enough to grab my phone before jumping back up on the table. I open up some stupid farming game and get lost in it for a few minutes while I wait for Marcy to come back. I try not to spend a ton of time on my phone, so I’m usually sketching something. But I figured it would be awkward to bring in my huge sketch pad.
I let out a huge sigh into the empty room. I’m ready to get out of here and go home. I’ve been so busy lately that I’m exhausted. I just want to take a long nap and not wake up until tomorrow. Amy works late and then has plans with Jamie, so I will have the place to myself.
Marcy comes walking in and takes a seat back on the stool. “Leah, I’ve got good news and bad. The bad news is that we aren’t going to be able to get you a new IUD today. The good news is that you’ve got a bun in the oven.”
It takes a second to comprehend what she just said. When it finally kicks in, I immediately start laughing. Hysterically laughing as though the woman is joking.
Pointing my finger at her, I say, “That was a good one. You got me.”
“Leah, it’s no joke.” She hands me the pregnancy test that shows two bright blue lines .
I take the test from her and look at it. It’s as if I’m holding some kind of foreign object in my hand.
“There’s no way that I’m pregnant,” I say. “I have an IUD, and I always use condoms.”
“Neither one of those things are foolproof, dear.”
I still am not quite sure that I’m comprehending anything that she’s saying, but something in my brain must click because I immediately start crying.
“Oh, honey!” Marcy says, coming over to give me an awkward, but comforting, hug.
She doesn’t let me go while I let out sob after sob. It isn’t until my body has calmed down some that she sits back down in the stool.
“You didn’t have any idea you may be pregnant? No signs or symptoms? Have you been nauseated? Or maybe more tired than usual?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. It wasn’t anything I thought was drastic enough to suspect I was pregnant.”
“Are you okay?” She asks.
“I have no idea.”
“Well, the first thing we are going to do is get the IUD out of you. Can’t have that in while you’re pregnant.”
Why? It clearly didn’t matter before now. A baby moved into my uterus that was already occupied by something else.
She continues. “Then, I want to sit down and go over all of your options to make sure that you’re informed for the best decision. And before you leave, we will get you set up with some prenatal vitamins. ”
The next hour is spent digging the IUD out of my body before Marcy tells me the options I have moving forward. She then tells me that I will have to come back tomorrow to pick up my prenatal vitamins from the pharmacy because they are closing in twenty minutes.
Great. I get to come back here again.
Honestly, I only half-listen to everything she says. My brain takes it all in, but I’m not sure how much of it I will remember once I leave this room. I feel like I’m in some kind of fucked up dream, and I pray to God that any moment, I will wake up and not be pregnant.
Please, God, let me wake up.