21. Gorgeous and Tough as Nails
twenty-one
Gorgeous and Tough as Nails
Dylan
I look down at Leah who is now sound asleep next to me. I stare at her face which is just peeking out under the blanket. Tonight is the first time I’ve seen her without all the dark eye makeup. She’s still beautiful.
I’m trying to do all I can to make sure she’s comfortable. I’m still completely winging it, but hopefully, it gets easier as time goes on. I want to make sure she’s at home enough to want to stay.
Being around Leah is enough to remind me why I liked her in the first place. She’s funny, tough as nails, and witty as hell. And gorgeous.
But us suddenly moving in together is a stark reminder of how little we know about each other. That wasn’t a big deal when we were just fucking. I’m sure most people would agree that moving in with someone you barely know is a bit unorthodox. I’d love to get to know her, but it doesn’t take a genius to see that she’s got some walls up. Growing up with four sisters, I know that those walls were probably put up for damn good reasons. I also know how hard they are to get past.
But fuck, I’m willing to try.
We are going to have a baby together. I think that will bring us about as close as two people can get. At least, I hope it does.
The whole having a baby thing still seems surreal to me. It’s like my brain understands that Leah is pregnant and what that means. But thinking about a baby being here with us in less than a year seems so strange.
Before my mom left this morning, she asked me if I was going to try to have a relationship with Leah, or if I was just going to be there for the baby. This morning, my answer was that I wasn’t sure, but I knew being a good dad was my number one priority. Even being around Leah for ten seconds, though, has me wishing that we could be more.
But I know better than to push any kind of relationship. Something tells me that if I were to push Leah, I would push her right out the door.
I get lost in the movie for a minute before I feel her stirring next to me. I reach for the remote and turn the volume down just a little as to not wake her. With a soft snore and stretch of her legs, she’s back asleep.
My phone vibrates on the table next to me, and I quickly grab it to read the screen.
RONNIE
I love my twin. We share a bond that I have a hard time even describing to other people. One thing that we used to always share a common bond on was the fact that we weren’t ready to settle down. We were all about having fun. Ronnie is still in that frame of mind—which is fine. More power to her. But after listening to her complain about Liz settling down and getting pregnant, I’m not sure that I’m ready to listen to her lecture me. She’ll also probably tell me how crazy it is to have a girl move in with me that I hardly know.
Not that Ronnie has a leg to stand on. She’s done her share of crazy in her life.
A pang of sadness hits me as I fear how much our relationship might change now that I’ll have a kid. Ronnie has always been my confidant. I’ve been able to tell her anything.
Until now.
And that makes me so incredibly sad.
People always talk about the weird bond that twins have, and it’s true. Somehow, we could always sense when the other was in trouble. I remember when we were ten, and Ronnie was out riding bikes with her friends. She flipped over the handlebars and broke her arm. I went and told Mom something was wrong, and she thought I was crazy until Ronnie’s friend was knocking on our door, screaming for help. After that, our mom never questioned it again.
I love Ronnie with all my heart, and I want her to go through this whole thing right alongside me, but after hearing her talk about Liz, I don’t think I’m going to get that lucky.
So, I’ll ignore her for now. I’m in no mood for a fight tonight.
A text pops through before I put my phone on Do Not Disturb.
Ronnie: Something you want to tell me, Dyl?
Fuck, she knows.
Oh well. That’s a problem for tomorrow Dylan.
The movie isn’t quite over, but I figure it’s about time I head to bed. Before I go, I pick Leah up in my arms and carry her into her bed. My couch is comfortable enough to nap on, but I figure she probably doesn’t want to stay out here all night. She’s sleeping so hard that she doesn’t even seem to notice.
After I get her laid down and make sure everything is all locked up, I head for my own room—wishing Leah was lying next to me, but grateful that she’s just down the hall.
“Dylan! Dylan!” I manage to hear Jack yelling at me over the music blaring through my earbuds.
I take them out and look at him over my shoulder. “Sorry, boss. What’s up?”
He looks around to make sure none of the other guys in the shop are in ear shot. “Just wanted to see how you’re doing.”
The look in his eyes is different than normal. “Ah, Liz told you.”
“Yeah, she did. I don’t mean to pry or anything, but I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m okay,” I tell him, coming out from under the hood of the car I’m working on and wiping off my hands. “I don’t have a single clue what I’m doing, but at this point, I figure I’ll just wing it and hope for the best.”
“You want to know a secret?” He leans up against one of the tool benches.
“What’s that?”
“I’m doing the exact same thing.”
I laugh. “No shit?”
“Yeah. At first, I tried to control everything, but it didn’t take long to realize that way of thinking wasn’t going to get me anywhere…except in hot water with your sister. So, I’m just white knuckling it now and letting her tell me what it is that she needs.”
“Damn, man, I was really hoping you were going to give me the answer to all this.”
His loud laugh booms between us. “If you think that there is any one answer to this, you’re fucking nuts. But the way I see it is that Liz is the one who is doing all the heavy lifting when it comes to the baby right now, so my main goal is to make sure that she’s comfortable. It was to make sure that she’s happy, but I’m not sure she knows what makes her happy at this present moment, so I settle for comfortable.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to do with Leah. It’s hard as fuck, though, when we don’t know each other all that well.”
“Eh, that’s alright. Just take what you do know and try to use it.”
His phone starts ringing. He pulls it out of his pocket and holds it up. “Speak of the devil. It’s your sister. Excuse me.”
He walks away to answer it, and I get ready to get back to work. Looking at the clock, I see that I only have a couple hours left before I’ll be done for the afternoon. Leah told me that she wouldn’t be home until about eight or so because of her appointments today. She was still asleep when I got up this morning, so I just left her a note to let me know if she needed anything. I thought about texting her just to check in, but I really don’t want to be that guy who is bugging the shit out of her.
As I get back to work, I think about what Jack said about trying to do things to make Leah happy. I still don’t have a great handle on that, but I think I’ve got enough to get me started. Maybe I need to ask someone who knows her better than I do.
“Jamie?” I call when I spot him a couple cars over.
He seems to have just finished whatever he was working on because he comes right away.
“Hey, fucker. What’s up?” I can tell by the way he’s talking that he has no idea about my current predicament.
“I need a favor.”
“Need me to help you get laid?” He asks with a cocky smile.
“No, idiot. Are you still in contact with Amy?”
“Yep. We were actually just together last night.”
“Perfect. You think you could give me her number?”
I could have told him right away that it’s concerning Leah. But the look on his face right now is too perfect to pass up. Maybe it’ll teach him to quit being so damn cocky.