42. Taking a Big Step
forty-two
Taking a Big Step
Leah
O ne month later…
30 weeks pregnant.
“Okay, Dylan. Just stop. Get up here,” I say.
He comes up from between my legs. “What’s wrong? Am I not doing something right?”
“No. Your tongue is amazing as usual. It’s all me.”
He lays next to me with his head propped on his hand. “Talk to me, gorgeous.”
“I’m just having trouble focusing. Men are easy—you stroke their cock enough, and boom, they come. It’s a physical thing. With women, it’s more mental. If my head isn’t in it, I can’t cross the finish line.”
“So, it’s some sort of mental block?” He asks.
“I guess you can put it like that.”
“Let’s figure it out. What’s going on in that big beautiful brain of yours? ”
“I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Well, why—”
I stop him before he can even get the question out. “It’s my big pregnant belly.”
Confused, he asks, “Can you give me more than that?”
“Usually, when you’re down there, I look down and watch. It turns me on to watch you going down on me. Now, I look down, and all I see is belly. I know it’s a baby, but it makes me feel huge. So, I try staring at the ceiling, and my mind starts to race. What’s the baby doing in there? Does it disturb her when you’re pounding into me? What if she comes out of the womb already resenting me? Man, I should be in the moment right, but instead, I’ll count the dots on the ceiling.”
He stops me. “Okay, I get it.”
“I just don’t feel very sexy, and I’m having a hard time relaxing.”
He stands up off the bed and holds out his hand for mine. I ask, “Are you mad?”
His lips pull up into a classic Dylan Lawson smile. “Not at all. You need to relax and get out of your own head enough to be able to come. I think I can help with that.”
He leads me into the bathroom and turns on the water, filling the bathtub.
“You remember what happened last time I tried to take a bath? I couldn’t get out of my own head then either.”
“That’s why I’m going to take a bath with you.”
I look at him in disbelief. “Dylan, I’ve been living here for months, and I’ve never seen you take a bath. ”
“Well, I’ve never got to do it with a beautiful, naked, and soapy woman before.”
As much as I doubt that’s true, I choose not to argue. He’s being so sweet, and I don’t need to be bitchy in return.
I watch as he adds bubbles and lights some candles. He even turns on some music on his phone.
I look in the mirror. I’m only wearing a t-shirt with no pants. The t-shirt is one of Dylan’s, and with the big belly, I look like I’m wearing a poncho or something. I turn to the side and examine the pooch. It’s starting to resemble a basketball.
Dylan walks behind me, putting his hands on my stomach and planting a few soft kisses on my neck.
“I know you feel all out of sorts and when you look in the mirror, the person doesn’t look like what you’re used to. But for the record, I still think you’re beautiful.”
Usually, I’d tell him he’s full of shit, but when I see the way he’s looking at me, I actually believe him.
After pulling my shirt over my head, he holds out his hand for mine to help me into the tub. Once I’m situated in the water, he quickly undresses and climbs in behind me.
I lean back against his chest, getting comfortable.
“Are you okay?” Dylan asks while dragging his fingertips across my skin.
“I’m alright. Wishing I’d had an orgasm, but aside from that, it’s all gravy.”
He leans forward to whisper, “The night is not over yet, gorgeous.” His breath against my wet skin causes goosebumps to erupt all over my body .
His fingers massage me all over, adding the perfect amount of pressure. Between that, the soft music, and the candles, I’m about to melt right into the water around me.
“Dylan,” I say so quietly I’m not sure he heard me. In fact, I’m so out of it that I’m not sure I even said it out loud.
But I guess I do because he replies with, “Yes, gorgeous.”
“How is it that you are like this?”
“Like what?”
“Sweet. Patient. Kind. Overall amazing. I can’t believe you went from notorious ladies man to this guy.”
I feel him chuckle from behind me. “I mean, I’ve always been this guy. Even when I wasn’t ready to get serious, I still know how to treat a woman. I always made sure to make them feel special even if it was just for a night. And I never pretended that it was going to be more than it was.”
I know he’s not blowing smoke up my ass. I’m learning that’s not who Dylan is.
“Who taught you how to be so wonderful?” I ask.
“It’s not that hard. Baby, I grew up with four sisters and my mother. That’s a lot of estrogen to deal with. One thing my father instilled in me is to treat women in a way that I’d want my sisters and mom to be treated. If I wouldn’t want something to happen to them, I shouldn’t do it to someone else. Even when I was dating around, it’s not like I made a bunch of promises that I had no intention of keeping.”
“Seems like such a simple concept. I wish more men thought that way.”
“But then, you wouldn’t understand how truly awesome I am,” he jokes .
“Oh, I’m sure I could still figure it out.”
Ever since the birthday party, I’ve thought more and more about taking the next step with Dylan. Only in my deranged mind would I think that it’s normal to get pregnant before becoming boyfriend and girlfriend.
I realize we’re basically doing the relationship thing already. We have sex. We spend all our time together, and we aren’t seeing anybody else. The only way I’m still keeping him at arm’s reach is that I still sleep in my own bed. Well, and I don’t call him my boyfriend.
I’ve been telling myself that I don’t want to be influenced by my pregnancy hormones, but I know I’m scared to put myself out there because I don’t want to get hurt.
How long am I going to avoid being happy, though, before I believe Dylan won’t hurt me?
The man let me move into his house when he barely knew me. He’s dealt with my crazy emotions, taken care of me, and even planned an amazing birthday party for me. He’s pretty damn wonderful.
The baby breaks my concentration when she starts doing flips and moving from one side of my belly to the other. I take Dylan’s hands and set them on either side of my stomach.
“Holy shit,” he says. “That’s crazy.”
He’s felt her kick a few times, but this is the first time he’s felt her move like this.
“I can’t believe you get to feel this all the time,” he says.
“It’s great until she kicks me in the ribs and keeps me up all night. ”
“Fair enough.” He reaches to the side of the tub and grabs a washcloth. After dipping it into the water, he opens it up and lays it on my belly.
I look back at him, and he says, “I don’t want her to be cold.”
“I think it’s pretty climate controlled in there.”
“Just in case.”
Much to my surprise, the baby settles down and stops the kicks. Dylan continues rubbing me all over and doesn’t stop until I’m ready to get out. I’m worried that if I don’t, I’ll get too relaxed and die from drowning.
Of course, Dyl gets out first so that he can help me. After drying off, he leads me to his room and lays me on the bed. He rubs me once more, completely relaxing every square inch of my body.
I’m lying with my eyes closed, just focusing on how good it feels. If I’m this relaxed now, I bet I’d be relaxed doing something else too.
I open my legs, spreading my thighs wide enough for Dylan to get the message. He doesn’t say a word but instead starts to tease my slit with his fingers. Sparks of electricity shoot through me when he touches my clit. This time, I don’t stare at the ceiling. I keep my eyes closed and focus on every single touch.
He uses one hand to gently tease my nipples while the other slips two fingers inside me. His tongue licks my clit in small circles. All the sensations together hold my focus.
All I can think about is how good everything feels.
It doesn’t take long before I feel myself climbing toward an orgasm .
“Oh my God, Dylan!” I cry as my fingers clutch the sheets next to me. “Don’t stop!”
I feel the very beginning of an orgasm creeping closer, and I hold onto it for dear life so that I don’t scare it away. This is an odd concept for me because I’ve never had an issue coming with Dylan before. This is a side of pregnancy I’m not fond of.
But God love him. He’s determined. And when he finds the spot that makes my legs quiver, he doesn’t move. It’s enough to push me over the edge and have me screaming his name.
Once I start to come down off the high, he comes to lie next to me, snuggling me in his arms.
“You didn’t come,” I tell him.
“I’ll be alright. This wasn’t about me.” He kisses me on the cheek.
“But—”
“You came. That’s what matters.”
We lie here, cozied up in a comfortable silence. As awful as it sounds, I’ve been in a lot of men’s beds, but I’ve never been more at ease than I am right now—even with guys I considered myself serious with. I think that should say a lot.
What the fuck am I waiting on?
I turn so that I’m facing him. “Dylan, I have something to say, and I need you to shut up while I say it.”
When he doesn’t answer, I say, “Dylan? Did you hear me?”
“You told me to shut up. But I’m listening.”
“Okay, I’m going to say something even though it scares the shit out of me. I want to sleep in here tonight.”
He looks confused. “You shouldn’t be scared. You can sleep in here anytime you want. ”
Come on, Leah. You have to say more than that.
I clear my throat. “What I mean is that maybe I could spend more time in here and less time in my room. Maybe I could even bring some of my stuff in.”
“Really?” He looks like he’s waiting for me to tell him I’m kidding.
“Yes.” Here it goes, Leah. Just say it. “Maybe you and I should share a bedroom…because that’s what people in a committed relationship do.”