Chapter 4
Shandra waited inside the main house for Leo to come to her. To cuss her out. To hug her close and tell her everything would be okay. Hell, she would have accepted a slight smile or a light touch to comfort her. Something to let her know she hadn’t made a fool of herself.
Then again, she was good at embarrassing herself when it came to him.
Within minutes of her knocking Andrea the fuck out, Tristan’s men rushed her into the house and away from the fray. She and Camille were placed in his office to wait until they handled the situation. Shandra couldn’t help but look out the window at the chaos she’d caused, even though she didn’t really care about the outcome. Fuck that bitch. She shouldn’t have fixed her mouth to say what she did.
She could have said whatever she wanted about Shandra, but when she called her baby girl a mutt? Yeah, that shit would not fly today or any other day of the damn week. Amina was her reason for living, and no one would ever disrespect her child and get away with it.
Just thinking about everything she’s gone through over the years to raise her little girl made her want to cry. Shandra took a deep breath and glanced at her best friend, who was sitting on the settee with her feet propped on a pillow, eating a bowl of grapes. A smile came over her face as she remembered the night that changed her life. Camille had been her ride-or-die from day one. No matter what the other one needed, they were there for each other. No questions asked.
She turned away from the window and walked over to sit on a chair across from Camille. “Hey, do you ever think about all the shit we’ve been through together?”
Camille nodded. “Sometimes. But not because I want to relive the tough times, but when I need to be grounded in the good. You. Me. Dwayne. Running the streets and causing mayhem.”
They both laughed.
Sighing, Shandra looked away for a moment before focusing on her friend. “That bitch called my daughter a mutt.”
Camille nodded in understanding. “Well, in that case, she got off light. Does Tristan and Leo know? What else did she say to you?”
Not willing to share that information just yet, Shandra shook her head. “That’s the only thing that matters right now. She was flapping her damn lips too much and said the one thing that set me off. There’s a lot of shit that I can handle, but my baby is off limits.”
“Yes, she is.” Deep in thought, Camille ate another grape while sneaking looks over at Shandra.
“Girl, I see you eyeing me. What is it?”
A smirk came over her lips. “I’m just wondering how you’re feeling about Leo bringing a woman with him and then said woman talking shit to you. You can say the other stuff doesn’t matter, but you and I know she was feeling herself. Most women do when they have a man like Leonardo Mannetti on their arm.”
An icy feeling rushed through Shandra. “He’s brought other women around here before? You’ve seen them?”
“Don’t do that, Shandra, and don’t play dumb. The man has dated before. Nothing serious. But, yes, he’s brought company over a time or two. It was mainly before he started catching feelings for you. I’ve never seen anyone more than once. Except for today. So, she must have been feeling especially froggy. But honestly, you need to shit or get off the damn pot. If you want that man, then you need to tell him. Stop playing games and tell him how you feel.”
Shandra got up from the chair and wrapped her arms around her waist. As she took a few steps away, she was about to admit something she’d never said out loud. Hell, she was halfway afraid to admit it, even to herself. “I’m scared, Camille. What if I finally decide to go all in with him, and he turns away from me? Or breaks my heart? Or worse, leaves Amina. She loves him so much, and if telling him how I really feel would put their relationship in danger, that’s not a risk I’m willing to take.”
Camille shook her head before shifting to a sitting position, then standing. She held out her hands as she waddled closer. “Leo loves Amina too much. He would never walk away from her. No matter what happens between the two of you, he will always be there for her.”
Shandra wasn’t convinced. Men lie. They always lie. Once they’ve proven they can get what they want from someone, they have no issues doing their absolute worst. What would make Leo any different? “How do you know that? He could just be doing all this so he can get in my pants. Then, once I’ve given him the final piece of me, he’s done.”
The shocked look on Camille’s face made her pause.
“If you really believe that about him, then maybe you’re right. It’s time for you to let him go. Let that man move on to someone who wants him. Someone who won’t push him away at every turn.” She looked over Shandra’s shoulder out the window to where the men stood. When she glanced back at her friend, Camille’s eyes went soft. “You can’t continue to focus on always being the one to walk away before they hurt you. Not every man is like…”
“Don’t you say his damn name,” Shandra spat.
Camille shook her head. “Honey, I would never say that dead man’s name. But my point still stands. You have built a life for yourself and my goddaughter. You have a successful career, a badass best friend, a slew of protectors who will never allow anything to happen to you, or Amina. Your daughter will be given a life of privilege and can do things we could only dream of. Why? Because she has a whole damn mafia family wrapped around her little pinky. I mean, come on. A damn horse for her fifth birthday? Going to one of the best private schools in the state. A princess-themed room upstairs, and a college fund that could fund a small country.”
Shandra was so thankful for the love and care her daughter received from this group of hardened men. Death. Destruction. Torture. That was the world they lived in. Yet, one request from her daughter for ice cream sent them on a mission all over the city so she could have an ice cream sundae while watching a movie with her mommy and godmother.
And who was leading the charge to make sure Amina had everything she ever wanted? Leo.
“Girl, that man is too damn much. What if I can’t handle being with someone like him? You and Tristan make it work, but what if we can’t?”
“Well, Ms. Independent Woman Who Can Do It Without a Man, you may need to actually speak up and tell him how you feel. Don’t give up on the two of you without giving him a chance. Plus, Leo’s one of my favorite people. Don’t tell him I said that, though. He’ll tease Tristan about it, and I’ll never live that shit down.” She went back to the couch and laid down, putting her feet up as she picked up the bowl of grapes. “Now, back to the original issue for the day. Andrea deserved more than being put on her ass for calling my goddaughter that nasty ass name. If I see her again, I might just shoot her in the face.”
Shandra smiled at the thought, because if anyone would shoot someone, it would be Camille. Growing up, she did not know just how ruthless her friend was. When she’d finally realized who Camille’s father was and who Dwayne was going to be, it had shocked her a bit. Sure, they’d all been a trio, friends for years, but they’d hidden those pieces of themselves from her for so long.
Then that fateful night happened.
She still sometimes had nightmares about it. Those five days in that hellhole. The memory of their taunting, hateful words. Their fists. The sting of the slaps against her bare skin. Her pleas for release. She’d finally allowed herself to be free with a man. To experience that feeling of finally finding her person. Only for them to be the one who betrayed her. She remembered his evil smile taunting her every time she begged them to let her go. The anger whenever she tried to fight back, her voice going hoarse from screaming for help. How he would smirk and shake his head at her whenever one of them took her against her will. They were racist fucks.
But she also remembered the look of shock and horror on his face when she and Camille came back. She had warned him. Warned them all. Her vengeance would be fierce, and they would never get away with what they did to her. During that time, she’d lost herself in the pain and hurt of what they’d done to her. A part of her had died during her ordeal. But she’d also been reborn into someone different. Someone who had a first-row seat to the horrors of the world and what people will do to someone else for entertainment.
When she’d found out she was pregnant with Amina, her entire life’s focus had shifted. That her beautiful little girl was created from something so ugly was a miracle in itself.
Blinking away the memories, she came back to the present. She knew why the prospect of being with Leo was so scary. Up until now, she’d been able to hide behind the fa?ade she put up every day. Yes, it was a life filled with lies and deception. No one knew about her ordeal except for Camille and Dwayne. They’ve never told her parents. When she became pregnant, she lied and said the father was a short-term fling. Someone who moved on before Shandra realized what was happening to her body. It was just enough to get people off her back. Everyone accepted she would be a single mother. And for her daughter, that was the story she would tell her for the rest of her life.
Lies.
Deception.
That was the woman she was and would always be.
To remove the veil and let Leo be with her the way he wanted to would expose the truth. It would force her to show her true self. What if his belief of who she was could not survive the reality?
“I know you’re over there thinking about things that are best forgotten. I’m gonna need you to stop, Shandra.”
“What if he finds out? Have you told Tristan?”
“Not the whole story. He only knows that I’ve done some things in my past. That we were both involved. But I never told him the full details of what happened to you. Not yet. I told you before, it’s not my story to tell, and I would never betray your confidence that way. Plus, we handled the situation. No one ever needs to know the truth as long as it stays buried. They’re dead and gone, and their bodies will never be found. If I could spit on their graves every fucking day, I would. Fuck ‘em.”
A smile lifted Shandra’s lips. This is why she loved this woman so damn much. Ride or die until the fucking end. “Yeah, fuck ‘em.”
“Fuck who?” Leo’s voice called out as he and Tristan walked into the office. “Who were you talking about, Shandra? Fuck who? Because I’d really like to know if there’s someone else on your list that I need to worry about you punching. Especially while they’re on the Lucarelli family compound. Do you even realize what the fuck you’ve done?” With every word spoken, his voice rose in volume.
Shandra watched as he paced the floor in front of her. While she should have been more contrite about what she’d done, this talk with Camille had given her a new perspective. Leo was the one at fault for bringing another woman to their family’s home. Because make no mistake, the Lucarelli family were now hers by default. Especially now that Camille was their Donna.
Camille and Tristan exited the room. They closed the door behind them, which left Leo and Shandra alone. She stared at him as he paced, mumbled under his breath, and ran his fingers through his dark brown hair.
“Leo, are you done?”
“Am I done?” The man looked like he was about to burst a vein in his head. “Am I done?” She was worried he would have a brain aneurysm. “Shandra, do you know who that woman was that you punched? Do you have any idea of the shitstorm you just brought down on the Lucarelli family because you couldn’t control your temper? We have to make amends to her family, and that will cost us.”
Now, it was her turn to fume. “Fuck her. I don’t care what family she’s with. That bitch deserved it, and if given the chance, I’d fuck her up again.”
He shook his head and glanced back, as if expecting Tristan to be close by. When he noticed Camille and Tristan were both gone, he sighed deeply before walking over to the desk and sitting on the edge.
“You cannot behave that way and not expect any repercussions. It’s not just you anymore. It’s not about your feelings, Shandra. Now, tell me, what the fuck did she do or say to you that would cause you to punch her? Because I’d really like to know why our men are now in danger.”
She knew the situation was serious—of course, she did. Not that Shandra didn’t understand the family dynamics and the things they went through daily. The Lucarelli’s killed their enemies without repudiation. There were times they had to torture those who went against the family. It was the reality of the life they lived.
Now, she’d gotten knee-deep in some shit that might impact the family. It wasn’t that she wanted this to happen, but she still wouldn’t apologize for her actions. “You want to know what she said to me?” He nodded. “She thought I was your baby mama. Claimed that too many Italian men were dirtying up the families by marrying Black women. That we were meant to be fucked and kept hidden, not married or have children with.”
She saw his jaw ticking with anger, but knew she had to continue. Leo needed to understand.
“She assumed Amina was your daughter. That bitch said you should have kept her hidden away like the mutt she was or had her put down at birth.” After seeing the shocked look on his face, she smirked. “Exactly. Now, do you understand why I punched that bitch?”